Introduction. THE GODDESS IS IN EACH OF US!
Each woman plays a leading role in the story of her own life. As a psychiatrist, I listened to hundreds of personal stories and realized that each of them has a mythological dimension. Some women turn to a psychiatrist when they feel completely demoralized and "overwhelmed", others when they realize that they have become hostages of circumstances that need to be analyzed and changed.
In any case, it seems to me that women ask a psychotherapist for help in order to learn to be the main characters, leading characters in the history of your life. To do this, they need to make conscious decisions that will determine their lives. Before, women were not even aware of the powerful influence cultural stereotypes had on them; in a similar way, they are now usually unaware of what powerful forces lurk in themselves - forces that can determine their actions and feelings. It is to these forces, represented in the guise of the ancient Greek goddesses, that I dedicate my book.
These mighty internal schemes, or archetypes, explain the main differences between women. Some, for example, in order to feel like a successful person, need monogamy, the institution of marriage and children - such women suffer, but endure if they cannot achieve this goal. Traditional roles are of the greatest importance to them. They are strikingly different from other types of women, who value their independence above all else, because they are focused on what is important to them personally. The third type is no less peculiar - women who are attracted by tension of feelings and new experiences, because of which they enter into ever new personal relationships or rush from one type of creativity to another. Finally, another type of woman prefers solitude; spirituality is of the utmost importance to them. The fact that for one woman a fulfillment, for another, may seem complete nonsense - everything is determined by the archetype of which goddess prevails in her.
Moreover, every woman gets along several goddesses. The more complex her character, the more likely it is that different goddesses are actively manifested in her - and what is significant for one of them is meaningless for the rest ...
Knowledge of the archetypes of goddesses helps women understand themselves and their relationships with men and other women, with parents, lovers and children. In addition, these divine archetypes allow women to understand their own motives (especially when it comes to overwhelming addictions), frustrations, and sources of contentment.
The archetypes of goddesses are also interesting to men. Those who want to better understand women can use the archetype system to classify women and gain a deeper understanding of what to expect from them. Moreover, men will be able to understand women with a complex and seemingly contradictory character.
Finally, such a system of archetypes can be extremely useful for psychotherapists who work with women. It offers interesting clinical tools for understanding interpersonal and internal conflicts. Goddess archetypes help explain character differences and make it easier to identify potential psychological difficulties and psychiatric symptoms. In addition, they indicate the possible paths of a woman's development along the line of a particular "goddess".
This book describes a new approach to female psychology, based on the female images of ancient Greek goddesses, which have existed in the human imagination for more than three millennia. This type of female psychology differs from all theories where a "normal woman" is defined as obeying a single "correct model", personality pattern, or psychological structure. Our theory is based on observations of diversity normal differences in female psychology.
Much of what I know about women comes from professional experience - from the knowledge I gained as a Jungian psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, from the teaching and consulting experience of a practicing instructor at the University of California and Chief Analyst at the Jung Institute in San Francisco. ...
However, the description of female psychology, which is given on the pages of this book, is based not only on professional knowledge. Most of my ideas are based on the fact that I myself am a woman who has learned different female roles - daughter, wife, mother, son and daughter. My understanding grew through conversations with friends and other women. In both cases, women become a kind of "mirrors" for each other - we see ourselves in the reflection of other people's experiences and are aware of the common thing that binds all women, as well as those aspects of our own psyche that we were not aware of before.
My understanding of female psychology was also determined by the fact that I am a woman living in the modern era. In 1963 I entered graduate school. Two events happened that year that eventually sparked the women's rights movement in the 70s. First, Betty Friedan published her "The Riddle of Femininity", where she emphasized the emptiness and dissatisfaction of a whole generation of women who lived exclusively for other people and someone else's life. Friedan identified the source of this lack of happiness as a problem of self-determination, the root of which is an arrested development. She believed that this problem is caused by our very culture, which does not allow women to recognize and satisfy their basic needs for growth and development, to realize their human potential. Her book, which put an end to common cultural stereotypes, Freudian dogma and manipulative attitudes towards women on the part of the media, offered principles for which the time is long overdue. Her ideas gave vent to suppressed violent feelings, and they also led subsequently to the birth of the women's liberation movement and, finally, to the creation of the National Organization of Women.
Also in 1963, under President John F. Kennedy, the Commission on the Status of Women released a report that described inequalities in the economic system of the United States. Women received less for the same job than men; they were denied vacancies and prevented from promotion. This blatant injustice has become yet another confirmation of how undeservedly low the role of women in modern society is.
So, I entered the world of professional psychiatry at a time when the United States was on the cusp of the dawn of a women's rights movement. In the 70s, my understanding of the problem increased. I began to become aware of the inequality and discrimination against women; I realized that the cultural standards set by men were themselves rewarding women for uncomplaining obedience or punishing women for denying stereotyped roles. I ended up joining a handful of female colleagues from the Northern California Psychiatric Association and the American Psychiatric Association.
Jin Shinoda Bohlen - GODDESS IN EVERY WOMAN
WOMAN'S NEW PSYCHOLOGY. ARCHETYPES GODDESS
Several goddesses coexist in every woman. The more complex her character, the more likely it is that different goddesses are actively manifested in her - and what is significant for one of them is meaningless for the rest ... Knowledge of the archetypes of goddesses helps women understand themselves and their relationships with men and other women, with parents, lovers and children. In addition, these divine archetypes allow women to understand their own motives (especially when it comes to irresistible addictions), frustrations, and sources of contentment.
In this book, I will describe the archetypes at work in women's souls. They are personified in the images of the Greek goddesses. For example, Demeter, the goddess of motherhood, is the embodiment of the mother archetype. Other goddesses: Persephone - daughter, Hera - wife, Aphrodite - beloved, Artemis - sister and rival, Athena - strategist, Hestia - keeper of the hearth. In reality, archetypes do not have names, and images of goddesses are useful only when they correspond to feminine sensations and feelings.
The concept of archetypes was developed by Carl Gustav Jung. He viewed them as figurative schemes (patterns, models) of instinctive behavior contained in the collective unconscious. These patterns are not individual, they more or less similarly condition the reactions of many people.
All myths and fairy tales are archetypal. Many images and plots of dreams are also archetypal. It is the presence of common human archetypal models of behavior that explains the similarity of mythologies of various cultures.
Goddesses as archetypes
Most of us have heard of the Olympian gods at least in school and have seen their statues or images. The Romans worshiped the same deities as the Greeks, but called them Latin names. According to myths, the inhabitants of Olympus were very similar to people in their behavior, emotional reactions and appearance. The images of the Olympian gods embody the archetypal patterns of behavior that are present in our common collective unconscious. That is why they are close to us.
The most famous are twelve Olympians: six gods - Zeus, Poseidon, Hermes, Apollo, Ares, Hephaestus, and six goddesses - Demeter, Hera, Artemis, Athena, Aphrodite and Hestia. Subsequently, the place of Hestia, the goddess of the hearth, in this hierarchy was taken by the god of wine Dionysus. Thus, the balance was disturbed - there were more gods than goddesses. The archetypes I describe are six Olympic goddesses - Hestia, Demeter, Hera, Artemis, Athena, Aphrodite and, besides them, Persephone, the myth of which is inseparable from the myth of Demeter.
I have classified these goddesses as follows: virgin goddesses, vulnerable goddesses, and alchemical goddess.
The virgin goddesses stood out as a separate group in ancient Greece. The other two groups have been defined by me. Each of the categories under consideration is characterized by a special perception of the world, as well as preferred roles and motivations. Goddesses differ in their attachments and how they relate to others. In order for a woman to love deeply, work with joy, be sexy and live creatively, all the above-named goddesses must be expressed in her life, each in its own time.
The first group described here includes the virgin goddesses: Artemis, Athena, and Hestia.
Artemis (among the Romans - Diana) - the goddess of the hunt and the moon. Artemis's domain is a wilderness. She is a shooter and patroness of wild animals.
Pallas Athena (Minera)
Athena (among the Romans - Minerva) is the goddess of wisdom and crafts, the patroness of the city named in her honor. She also patronizes numerous heroes. Athena was usually depicted wearing armor, as she was also known as an excellent military strategist.
Hestia, the goddess of the hearth (Vesta among the Romans), is the least known of all the Olympians. The symbol of this goddess was the fire that burned in the hearths of houses and in temples.
The virgin goddesses are the embodiment of female independence. Unlike other celestials, they are not prone to love. Emotional attachments don't distract them from what they think is important. They don't suffer from unrequited love. As archetypes, they are an expression of women's need for independence and focus on goals that are meaningful to them. Artemis and Athena represent purposefulness and logical thinking, and therefore their archetype is achievement-oriented. Hestia is the archetype of introversion, attention directed to the inner depths, to the spiritual center of the female personality. These three archetypes expand our understanding of the feminine qualities of competence and self-sufficiency. They are inherent in women who are actively pursuing their own goals.
The second group is made up of vulnerable goddesses - Hera, Demeter and Persephone. Hera (among the Romans - Juno) is the goddess of marriage. She is the wife of Zeus, the supreme god of Olympus. Demeter (among the Romans - Ceres) - the goddess of fertility and agriculture. In myths, special importance is attached to Demeter in the role of mother. Persephone (among the Romans - Proserpina) is the daughter of Demeter. The Greeks also called her Kora - "girl".
These three goddesses represent the traditional roles of wife, mother, and daughter. As archetypes, they focus on relationships that provide experiences of wholeness and well-being, in other words, meaningful connection. They express women's need for strong bonds and affection. These goddesses adjust to others and are therefore vulnerable. They are suffering. They were raped, kidnapped, suppressed and humiliated by the male gods. When their attachments collapsed and they felt hurt in their feelings, they developed symptoms similar to those of the mental disorders of ordinary people. And each of them eventually overcomes their suffering. Their stories enable women to understand the nature of their own psycho-emotional reactions to losses and find the strength to cope with mental pain.
Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty (among the Romans - Venus) is the most beautiful and irresistible alchemical goddess. She is the only one who falls into the third category. She had many novels and, as a result, many offspring. Aphrodite is the embodiment of erotic attraction, sensuality, sexuality and the desire for a new life. She enters into love affairs of her own choosing and never finds herself in the role of a victim. Thus, she combines the autonomy of virgin goddesses with the intimacy of vulnerable goddesses. Her consciousness is both focused and receptive. Aphrodite allows for relationships that affect her and the subject of her hobbies alike. The Aphrodite archetype encourages women to seek intensity rather than consistency in relationships, value the creative process, and be open to change and renewal.
Family tree
To better understand the essence of each of the goddesses and their relationship with other deities, you should first consider them in a mythological context. Hesiod gives us this opportunity. "Theogony", his main work, contains information about the origin of the gods and their "family tree".
In the beginning, according to Hesiod, there was Chaos. Then Gaia (Earth), gloomy Tartarus (immeasurable depths of the underworld) and Eros (Love) appeared.
The mighty, fertile Gaia-Earth gave birth to the son of Uranus - the blue boundless Sky. Then she married Uranus and gave birth to the twelve Titans - the primitive natural forces that were worshiped in ancient Greece. According to the Hesiodic genealogy of the gods, the Titans were the first supreme dynasty, the ancestors of the Olympian gods.
Uranus, the first patriarchal, or fatherly, figure in Greek mythology, hated his children born of Gaia and did not allow them to leave her womb, thereby dooming Gaia to terrible torment. She called on the Titans to help her. But none of them, except for the youngest, Kronos (for the Romans - Saturn), did not dare to intervene. He responded to Gaia's plea for help and, armed with the sickle he had received from her, began to wait for Uranus in ambush.
When Uranus came to Gaia and lay down with her, Kronos took a sickle, cut off his father's genitals and threw them into the sea. After that, Kronos became the most powerful of the gods. Together with the Titans, he ruled the universe. They gave birth to many new gods. Some of them represented rivers, winds, rainbows. Others were monsters representing evil and danger.
Kronos married his sister, the titanide Rhea. From their union, the first generation of the Olympic gods was born - Hestia, Demeter, Hera, Hades, Poseidon and Zeus.
And again the patriarchal progenitor - this time already Kronos himself - tried to destroy his children. Gaia predicted that he was destined to be defeated by his own son. He decided not to let this happen and swallowed all his children immediately after their birth, without even finding out if it was a boy or a girl. So he swallowed up three daughters and two sons.
Once again, becoming pregnant, mourning the fate of her own children, Rhea turned to Gaia and Uranus with a request to help her save her last child and punish Kronos. Her parents advised her to retire to the island of Crete and, when the time of childbirth comes, deceive Kronos by giving him a stone wrapped in swaddling clothes. In a hurry, Kronos swallowed the stone, thinking it was a baby.
The rescued child was named Zeus. Later, he overthrew his father and began to rule over all gods and mortals. Growing up in secret from Kronos, he later tricked him into ejecting his brothers and sisters back and together with them began a long struggle for power over the world, which ended in the defeat of the Titans and their imprisonment in the dark abysses of Tartarus.
After defeating the Titans, the three brother gods - Zeus, Poseidon and Hades - divided the universe among themselves. Zeus took the sky, Poseidon took the sea, Hades took the underworld. Although the earth and Olympus were supposed to be common, Zeus nevertheless extended his rule to them. Three sisters - Hestia, Demeter and Hera - according to patriarchal Greek beliefs, did not have significant rights.
Thanks to his love affairs, Zeus became the father of the next generation of gods: Artemis and Apollo (the sun god) - the children of Zeus and Leto, Athena - the daughter of Zeus and Metis, Persephone - the daughter of Zeus and Demeter, Hermes (messenger of the gods) - the son of Zeus and Maya, Ares (god of war) and Hephaestus (god of fire) are the sons of the lawful wife of Zeus, Hera. There are two versions of the origin of Aphrodite: according to one of them, she is the daughter of Zeus and Dione, in the other case, it is argued that she preceded Zeus. Through a love affair with a mortal woman, Semele, Zeus also became the father of Dionysus.
To remind the reader who is who in Greek mythology, at the end of the book are brief biographical notes on the gods and goddesses, arranged in alphabetical order.
History and mythology
The mythology dedicated to the Greek gods and goddesses we are describing is a reflection of historical events. This is a patriarchal mythology that exalts Zeus and heroes. It is based on the clash of people who professed faith in the maternal principle, with the invaders who worshiped warlike gods and created religious cults based on the masculine principle.
Maria Jimbutas, a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles and an expert in European mythology, writes about the so-called "Old Europe" - the first European civilization. According to scientists, the culture of Old Europe was formed at least five (and possibly twenty-five) thousand years before the emergence of patriarchal religions. This matriarchal, sedentary and peaceful culture was associated with land, sea and the cult of the Great Goddess. The information collected bit by bit during archaeological excavations shows that the society of Old Europe did not know property and social stratification, equality reigned in it. Old Europe was destroyed by an invasion of semi-nomadic, hierarchically organized Indo-European tribes from the north and east.
The invaders were militant people of patriarchal morals, indifferent to art. They treated with contempt the more culturally developed indigenous population enslaved by them, professing the cult of the Great Goddess, known by many names - for example, Astarta, Ishtar, Inanna, Nut, Isis.
She was worshiped as a life-giving feminine principle, deeply connected with nature and fertility, responsible for both creative and destructive manifestations of the power of life. The snake, dove, tree and moon are sacred symbols of the Great Goddess. According to the mythological historian Robert Graves, before the advent of patriarchal religions, the Great Goddess was believed to be immortal, immutable, and omnipotent. She took lovers for herself not so that her children would have a father, but solely for her own enjoyment. There were no male gods. In the context of a religious cult, there was no such thing as fatherhood.
The Great Goddess was overthrown from the throne in the course of successive waves of Indo-European invasions. Reputable researchers date the onset of these waves between 4500 and 2400. BC. The goddesses did not disappear altogether, but entered the cults of the invaders in secondary roles.
The invaders imposed their patriarchal culture and their militant religious cult on the conquered population. The Great Goddess in her various forms began to play the subordinate role of the wife of the gods who were worshiped by the conquerors. The powers that originally belonged to the female deity were alienated and transferred to the male deity. For the first time, the theme of rape appeared in myths; myths arose in which male heroes killed snakes - a symbol of the Great Goddess. The attributes of the Great Goddess were shared among many goddesses. The mythologist Jane Harrison notes that the Great Goddess, as in a broken mirror, was reflected in many lesser goddesses: Hera received the rite of sacred marriage, Demeter - the mysteries, Athena - the snake, Aphrodite - the dove, Artemis - the function of the mistress of the wild.
Goddess Aphrodite
According to Merlin Stone, author of When God Was a Woman, the final overthrow of the Great Goddess came later, with the advent of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. The male deity took over the dominant position. The female goddesses gradually receded into the background; women in society followed suit. Stone notes: "We are surprised to discover to what extent the suppression of women's rituals was actually a suppression of women's rights."
Historical goddesses and archetypes
The Great Goddess was worshiped as the Creator and Destroyer, responsible for fertility and cataclysms. The Great Goddess still exists as an archetype in the collective unconscious. I have often felt the presence of the fearsome Great Goddess in my parents. After giving birth, one of my patients identified herself with the Great Goddess in her fearsome aspect. The young mother suffered psychosis shortly after the birth of the child. This woman was in a state of depression, saw hallucinations and blamed herself for swallowing the world. She paced the hospital ward, miserable and wretched.
When I turned to her, she told me that she "greedily ate and destroyed the world." During pregnancy, she identified herself with the Great Goddess in her positive aspect of the Creator, but after giving birth, she felt that she had the power to destroy everything that was created by her, and she did it. Her emotional conviction was so great that she ignored the evidence that the world still existed as if nothing had happened.
This archetype is also relevant in its positive aspect. For example, the image of the Great Goddess as a life-giving force takes possession of a person who is convinced that his life depends on maintaining a connection with a certain woman who is associated with the Great Goddess. This is a fairly common mania. Sometimes we see that the loss of such a connection is so devastating that it leads a person to commit suicide.
The archetype of the Great Goddess is inherent in the power that the Great Goddess herself possessed at the time when she was actually worshiped. And therefore, of all the archetypes, it is this one that is able to exert the most powerful effect. This archetype is capable of causing irrational fears and distorting perceptions of reality. The Greek goddesses were not as powerful as the Great Goddess. They are more specialized. Each of them had their own sphere of influence, and their powers have certain limits. In women's souls, the Greek goddesses are also not as powerful as the Great Goddess; their ability to emotionally suppress and distort the perception of the surrounding reality is much weaker.
Of the seven Greek goddesses representing the main, most common archetypal patterns of female behavior, the most influential are Aphrodite, Demeter and Hera. They are much more closely associated with the Great Goddess than the other four goddesses. Aphrodite is a weakened version of the Great Goddess in her hypostasis as the goddess of fertility. Demeter is a miniature copy of the Great Goddess as Mother. Hera is just an echo of the Great Goddess as the Sovereign of Heaven. However, as we will see in the following chapters, although each of them is "smaller" than the Great Goddess, together they represent those forces in the soul of a woman that become irresistible when asked to do them justice.
Women who are affected by any of these three goddesses must learn to resist, as blindly following the commands of Aphrodite, Demeter, or Hera can adversely affect their lives. Like the goddesses of Ancient Greece themselves, their archetypes do not serve the interests and relationships of mortal women. Archetypes exist outside of time, they do not care about a woman's life or her needs.
Three of the remaining four archetypes - Artemis, Athena, and Persephone - are daughter goddesses. They are one more generation removed from the Great Goddess. Accordingly, as archetypes, they do not have the same absorbing power as Aphrodite, Demeter and Hera, and mainly affect character traits.
Hestia, the oldest, wisest, and most revered goddess of them all, completely shunned power. She represents the spiritual dimension of life that should be honored by every woman.
Greek goddesses and modern women
Greek goddesses are female images that have lived in the human imagination for over three millennia. They personify women's aspirations, they embody behavioral patterns that historically were not allowed for women.
Greek goddesses are beautiful and powerful. They follow exclusively their own motives, not knowing the dictates of external circumstances. I argue in this book that, as archetypes, they are capable of determining both the quality and direction of a woman's life.
These goddesses are different from each other. Each of them has its own positive and potential negative properties. Mythology shows what is important for them, and in a metaphorical form tells us about the possibilities of women like them.
I also came to the idea that the Greek goddesses of Olympus, each of whom is unique, and some of them even hostile to each other, represent a metaphor for a woman's inner diversity and inner conflicts, thereby manifesting her complexity and versatility. All goddesses are potentially present in every woman. When several goddesses are fighting for domination over a woman, she needs to decide for herself which aspects of her essence and at what time will be dominant, otherwise she will rush from one extreme to another.
Greek goddesses, like us, lived in a patriarchal society. The male gods ruled over the earth, sky, ocean and the underworld. Each goddess has adapted to this state of affairs in her own way - some by separating herself from men, some by joining men, some by withdrawing into herself. Goddesses who valued patriarchal relationships were vulnerable and relatively weak compared to male gods who dominated the community and could deny them their desires. Thus, the Greek goddesses embody the life models of women in patriarchal culture.
A HEROINE IN EVERY WOMAN
Every woman has a potential heroine. She represents a woman leader in her life story, on a journey that begins at her birth and continues throughout her life. Walking on her own unique path, she will undoubtedly face suffering; feel lonely, vulnerable, indecisive, and limited. She can also find meaning in her life, develop character, experience love and awe, and learn wisdom.
She is shaped by her decisions through her capacity for faith and love, a willingness to learn from her experiences, and to make commitments. If, when difficulties arise, she evaluates what can be done, decides what she will do, and behaves according to her values and feelings, then she is acting as the protagonist of her personal myth.
Although life is full of circumstances beyond our control, there are always moments of decision making, nodal points that determine further events or change human character. As the heroine of her heroic journey, a woman must begin with the position (even if at first "as if") that her choices matter. In the process of life, a woman becomes a person who makes decisions, a heroine who shapes her future self. It either develops or degrades due to what it does or does not do, and through the positions it occupies.
I know that not only external events but also internal events shaped my patients. Their feelings, their inner and outer reactions, predetermined their path and who they became, much more than the degree of adversity and adversity they faced. For example, I have met people who have experienced a childhood full of hardship, cruelty, heartlessness, beatings, or sexual abuse. However, they did not become (as one might expect) like the adults who mistreated them. Despite all the bad experiences they experienced, they felt compassion for others, both then and now. The traumatic experience left its mark, they were not unharmed, but despite this, the ability to trust, love and hope survived. When I figured out why such events happened, I began to understand the difference between a heroine and a victim.
As children, each of these people saw themselves as the protagonists of a terrible drama. Each had an inner myth, a fictional life, imaginary comrades. The daughter, who was beaten and humiliated by a rude father and not protected by a depressed mother, recalled how she told herself in childhood that she had nothing to do with this uneducated, uncouth family, that in reality she was a princess who was being tested by these ordeals. Another girl, being beaten and suffering from sexual harassment (and who, as an adult, completely refuted the idea that those who were beaten in childhood later beat their own children), fled into an imaginary bright, completely different from reality. The third presented herself as a warrior. These children thought about the future and planned how they could leave their family when they were old enough. Meanwhile, they themselves chose how they would react. One said, "I wouldn't let anyone see me cry." (She ran to the foothills and cried when none of her offenders could see her.) Another said, "I think my mind was leaving my body. It was like I was in a different place whenever he touched me."
These girls were heroines and decision makers. They retained their dignity despite being mistreated. They assessed the situation, decided how they would act in the present, and made plans for the future.
As heroines, they were not strong or powerful demigods like Achilles or Hercules, heroes of Greek myths who were stronger and more protected than mere mortals. These children, as precocious human heroines, are more like Hansel and Gretel, who had to use their minds when they were thrown in the woods or when the witch fattened Hansel for a roast.
In real life stories of women, as in myths about heroines, the key element is the emotional or other bonds that a woman makes along the way. A female heroine is someone who loves or learns to love. She either travels with someone else, or seeks such an alliance in her search.
Way
On every road, there are decisive forks that require decisions. Which path to take? Which direction to follow? Continue a line of conduct consistent with one principle, or follow a completely different one? Be honest or lie? Go to college or go to work? Have a baby or have an abortion? End close relationship or leave? Marry or say no to this particular man? Seek immediate medical attention if a breast tumor is found or wait? Just quit school or work and look for something else? Having a love affair and risking marriage? Give in or stubbornly strive for something? What choice should you make? Which path to take? What's the price?
I recall a brilliant lesson in economics in college that came in handy for me years later in psychiatry: the true cost of something is what you give up in order to get what you want. This is not the accepted path. Taking responsibility for making choices is a crucial and not always easy moment. A woman's ability to choose is what defines her as a heroine.
In contrast, a non-heroine woman follows someone else's choice. She gives in rather sluggishly than actively decides. The result is often an agreement to become a victim, saying (after what happened): "I really didn't want to do this. It was your idea," or "It's all your fault that we are in trouble," or "It is your fault that we ended up here." , or "It is your fault that I am unhappy." And she can also feel tormented and deceived and make accusations: “We always do what you want!”, Not realizing that she herself never insisted on her own or did not express her opinion at all. Starting with the simple question, “What do you want to do tonight?” To which she invariably replies, “Whatever you want,” her habit of giving in can grow until control of her life simply falls into the wrong hands.
There is also another non-heroic model of behavior, when a woman lives, as it were, trampling on a crossroads, without clarity in her feelings, experiencing inconvenience in the role of the one who decides, or not striving to make a choice due to her unwillingness to give up other opportunities. She is often a flamboyant, talented, attractive woman who takes life as a game, rejects close relationships that may become too serious for her, or a career that requires too much time or effort. Her stop at not making a decision in reality is, of course, a choice of no-action. She can spend ten years waiting at a crossroads until she realizes that life is passing by.
Consequently, women need to become heroines-makers of elections, instead of being passive creatures, victim-sufferers, pawns, moved by other people or circumstances. Becoming a heroine is an inspiring new opportunity for women, guided from within by the archetypes of vulnerable goddesses. Establishing oneself is a heroic challenge for women as pliable as Persephone, putting their men first like Hera, caring for someone's needs like Demeter. To do this, among other things, means for them to go against their upbringing.
In addition, the need to become the heroine-who-decides is a shock to many women who mistakenly believe that they already are. Being women of the type of virgin goddesses, they can psychologically be "covered with armor", like Athena, independent of the opinions of men, like Artemis, self-sufficient and alone, like Hestia. Their heroic task is to venture into intimacy or become emotionally vulnerable. For them, the choice that takes courage is to trust someone else, need someone else, take responsibility for someone else. It can be easy for such women to make risky business decisions or speak publicly. Courage from them requires marriage or motherhood.
The heroine-who-decides must repeat Psyche's first task of "sorting the grains" whenever she finds herself at a crossroads and must decide what to do now. She must stop to sort out her priorities, motivations and potential opportunities in the given situation. She needs to consider what choices exist, what the emotional cost might be, where decisions will lead her, what intuitively matters most to her. Based on who she is and what she knows, she must make a decision by choosing a path.
Here I again touch upon a topic that I developed in my first book "The Tao of Psychology": the need to choose the "path with the heart". I feel that everyone should weigh everything, and then act, closely study each life choice, rationally pondering, but then justify his decision on whether his heart will agree with this choice. No other person can tell you if your heart is touched and logic cannot provide the answer.
Often, when a woman is faced with such "or / or" choices that significantly affect her future life, pressure is exerted on her by someone else: "Get married!", "Have a baby!", "Buy a house!" "Change your job!", "Stop!", "Move!", "Say yes!", "Say no!" Very often a woman is forced to subordinate her mind and her heart to oppressive ideas created by someone's intolerance. To be the one who decides, a woman needs to insist on making her own decisions at the right time, realizing that this is her life and it is she who will live with the consequences of these decisions.
In order to develop clarity and understanding, she also needs to resist the inner urge to make rash decisions. In the initial stage of life, Artemis or Aphrodite, Hera or Demeter may predominate with their characteristic strength or intensity of response. They may try to supplant the feeling of Hestia, the introspection of Persephone, the cold-blooded thinking of Athena, but the presence of these goddesses provides a more complete picture and allows the woman to make decisions that take into account all aspects of her personality.
Travel
When a woman embarks on a heroic journey, she faces challenges, obstacles and dangers. Her responses and actions will change her. She will discover what matters to her and whether she has the courage to act according to her own ideas. Her character and capacity for compassion will be tested. Along the way, she is confronted with the dark, vague sides of her personality - sometimes at the same time as she becomes convinced of her strength and her self-confidence grows, or when she is overcome by fear. She will probably survive some losses and experience the bitterness of defeat. The heroine's journey is a journey of self-discovery and development, in which various aspects of a woman's personality are combined into a single whole that retains all its complexity.
Rebirth of the serpent's power
Each heroine must acquire the power of a snake. To understand the essence of this task, we need to return to goddesses and women's dreams.
On many statues of Hera, snakes are wrapped around her robes. Athena was portrayed with snakes entwining her shield. Serpents were symbols of the pre-Greek Great Goddess of Old Europe and serve as a symbolic trace of the power that a female deity once possessed. In one of the earliest images (Crete, 2000-1800 BC), a female goddess with bare breasts holds a snake in her outstretched arms.
The snake often appears in women's dreams as a mysterious frightening symbol, to which the dreamer, who has felt the possibility of establishing her own strength in life, cautiously approaches. Here is a description of a dream of a thirty-year-old married woman: "I am walking along the path; when I looked ahead, I saw that I had to pass under a huge tree. A huge snake is peacefully coiling around the lower branch. I know that it is not poisonous and I have nothing. threatens - in fact, she is beautiful, but I hesitate. " Many dreams similar to this one, where the dreamer feels rather awe or realizes the power of a snake than is afraid of danger, are remembered: "A snake wrapping around my table ...", "I see a snake coiled up on the balcony ...", "B three snakes in the room ... "
Whenever women begin to assert their power, make important decisions and realize their power, as a rule, dreams with snakes appear. Often the dreamer feels the sex of the snake, and this helps to clarify the kind of power symbolized by the snake.
If these dreams coincide with the real life of the dreamer, she has the opportunity from a position of power or independence to cope with such, for example, questions that arose after choosing a new role: “Can I be effective?”, “How will this role change me? "," Will people like me if I am determined and strict? "," Does this behavior threaten my close relationship? " The dreams of women who have never before experienced a sense of their own strength, most likely, indicate that such women should approach the Force carefully, as if to an unfamiliar snake.
I think of women gaining a sense of their own strength and power as "claiming the power of the snake" - the power lost by female deities and mortal women at the moment when patriarchal religions deprived the goddesses of power and influence, presented the snake as a symbol of evil, threw her from Eden and made women inferior. Then I imagine an image, the personification of a new woman - strong, beautiful and able to raise and educate children. This image is a terracotta statue of a beautiful woman or goddess rising from the ground and holding a sheaf of wheat, flowers and a snake in her hands.
Resisting the force of the bear
Unlike the male hero, the master heroine may be threatened by the irresistible urge of the maternal instinct. A woman who is unable to resist Aphrodite and / or Demeter may become pregnant at the wrong time or under unfavorable circumstances. If this happens, she may deviate from her chosen path - she is captured by instinct.
I knew a young woman, a graduate student, who forgot all her goals when she felt caught in the urge to get pregnant. She was married and was about to get her doctorate when she was possessed by the desire to have a child. In those days she had a dream: a huge bear was holding her hand in her mouth. She tried unsuccessfully to free herself and called for help from some men, but they were of no use. In this dream, she wandered until she came to a sculpture of a bear with cubs, which reminded her of a sculpture at the San Francisco Medical Center. When she put her hand on the foot of the sculpture, the bear released her.
Pondering this dream, she felt that the bear symbolized her motherhood instinct. Real bears are great mothers, they selflessly feed their vulnerable offspring and defend them fiercely. Then, when the time of independence comes for the grown cubs, the mother bear strongly insists that the resisting cubs leave her, go into the world and take care of themselves. This symbol of motherhood held the dreamer tightly until she touched the image of the Mother Bear.
The dreamer received the message of the dream. If she can promise to keep the urge to have a baby by the time she completes her dissertation (only two years later), her obsession with getting pregnant may go away. Indeed, after she and her husband decided to have a child and she made the inner commitment to get pregnant soon after defending her dissertation, the obsession disappeared. She was able to concentrate again on her studies. When she made a connection with the image, instinct lost its grip. She knew that in order to make a career and at the same time create a real family, you need to resist the power of the bear until she was awarded a doctorate.
Archetypes exist outside of time, not interested in the realities of a woman's life or her needs. When the goddesses awaken in a woman, as a heroine, she must say in response to their demands: "yes" or "no" or "not now." If she hesitates to make a conscious choice, instinct or archetypal schema will take over. A woman, captured by the instinct of motherhood, needs to resist the power of the "bear" and at the same time honor her.
Expulsion of death and the forces of destruction
Each heroine of myths invariably stands on her way against something destructive or dangerous, threatening her with destruction. It is also a common theme in women's dreams.
A woman lawyer dreamed that she was leaving the church of her childhood and then two wild black dogs attacked her. They jumped on top of her, trying to bite her neck: "It felt like they were going to bite through the carotid artery." When she raised her hand to deflect the attack, she awoke from her nightmare.
Since joining the agency, she has been increasingly embittered by the treatment of her. Men usually assumed she was just a secretary. Even when those around her knew about her real role, she often felt insignificant and thought that she was not taken seriously. She, in turn, became critical and hostile towards her male colleagues.
At first it seemed to her that the dream was an exaggerated reflection of the perception of herself as being constantly "attacked". Then she began to wonder if she herself had something like these wild dogs. She analyzed what was happening to her at work and was amazed and frightened by the sudden understanding that came to her: "Why, I'm turning into an evil bitch!" She remembered the feeling of grace that she had experienced in the church during the happy times of her childhood, and realized that she was now completely different. This dream was the impetus. The dreamer's personality was in real danger of self-destruction by her own hostility, which she directed at others. She became cynical and angry. In reality, as in a dream, she was in danger, and not the people on whom she directed her bitterness.
Likewise, the negative or shadow aspects of the goddess can be destructive. Hera's jealousy, vengefulness, or rage can become poisonous. A woman, possessed by these feelings and aware of her condition, oscillates between vengefulness and horror from her feelings and actions. When the heroine fights the goddess in her, dreams may appear in which snakes attack her (indicating that the power represented by them is dangerous to the dreamer herself). In one such dream, a poisonous snake darted to the dreamer's heart; in another, the snake plunged its venomous teeth into the woman's leg, preventing her from walking. In real life, both women tried to survive the betrayal and faced the danger of submitting to poisonous, malicious feelings (like the dream with wild dogs, this dream had two levels of meaning: it was a metaphor for what happens to her and in her).
The danger to the dreamer, coming in human form in the form of attacking or threatening men or women, usually comes from hostile criticism or its destructive side (while animals seem to represent feelings or instincts). For example, a woman who returned to college when her children were still in elementary school dreamed that a "huge matron jailer" was blocking her path. This scene appears to represent both her mother's negative judgment of her and the maternal role with which she was identified; the dream expressed the opinion that this identification is like imprisonment.
Hostile judgments of internal subpersonalities can be truly destructive, for example, "You cannot do this because you are bad (ugly, inept, stupid, untalented)." Basically, they say, “You have no right to strive for more,” and present messages that can upset a woman and undermine her good intentions or self-confidence. These aggressive critics in dreams usually appear in the form of men threatening her. Internal critical attitude often corresponds to the opposition or hostility that a woman encounters in the world around her; critics repeat, like parrots, the unkind messages of her family or culture.
From a psychological point of view, every enemy or demon that the heroine encounters in a dream or in myth represents something destructive, gross, undeveloped, distorted or evil in the human soul, seeking to take over and destroy it. Women who dreamed about wild dogs or venomous snakes realized that when they fought dangerous or hostile actions directed at them by other people, they were equally threatened by what was happening inside them. An enemy or demon can be a negative part of their own soul, a shadowy element that threatens to destroy what constitutes a compassionate and competent part in her. An enemy or a demon can be in the soul of other people who want to harm, subjugate, humiliate or control it. Or, as often happens, she is threatened by both.
Experiencing loss and grief
Loss and grief is another theme in women's lives and heroine myths. Somewhere along the way, someone dies or has to be abandoned. The loss of close relationships plays a significant role in the lives of women, because most of them define themselves through their close relationships, and not through their own achievements. When someone dies, leaves them, leaves or becomes a stranger, then this is a double loss - both close relationships in themselves, and close relationships as a source of self-determination.
Many women who were addicts in close relationships find themselves in the path of the heroine, only after enduring the suffering of loss. Pregnant Psyche, for example, was abandoned by her husband Eros. In her quest for reunification, she completed the tasks that ensured her development. Divorced and widowed women of all ages can make decisions and become independent for the first time in their lives. For example, the death of a beloved ally prompted Atalanta to return to her father's kingdom, where the famous race took place. This is in line with the intention of those women who start pursuing a career after the loss of a close relationship.
Metaphorically, psychological death occurs whenever we are forced to let something or someone go and cannot help but grieve over the loss. It can be the death of some aspect of ourselves, an old role, a former position, beauty or other departed qualities of youth, a dream that no longer exists. It can also be a close relationship that ended in death or separation. Will the heroine awaken in the woman, or will she be devastated by the loss? Will she be able to grieve and move on? Or will he give in, harden, plunge into depression, stop at this point his journey? If she goes further, she will choose the path of the heroine.
Passing through a dark and narrow place
Most heroic journeys involve traversing a dark place - mountain caves, an underworld, labyrinths - and ultimately suddenly emerging into the light. They can also include crossing a desolate desert into a blooming land. This part of the journey is analogous to experiencing depression. In myths, as in life, the heroine needs to keep moving, acting, doing what needs to be done, staying in touch with friends or coping alone, without stopping or giving up (even when she feels lost), to keep hope in the dark.
Darkness is those dark suppressed feelings (anger, despair, resentment, resentment, condemnation, revenge, fear, pain due to betrayal, guilt) that people must overcome if they seek to get out of depression. This is a dark night of loneliness, when, in the absence of light and love, life seems like a meaningless cosmic joke. Grief and forgiveness usually represent going out. Now life energy and light can return.
Death and rebirth in myths and dreams represent a metaphor for loss, depression and recovery. In retrospect, many of these dark periods are perceived as rites of passage, a time of suffering and trial, thanks to which a woman learns something valuable and develops. Or, like Persephone in the underworld, she can be a temporary prisoner in order to later become a guide for others.
Transcendental challenge
In heroic myths, the heroine who has set off on a journey, having overcome unthinkable dangers and defeating dragons and darkness, at some point gets stuck, unable to move forward or backward. Wherever she looks, incredible obstacles await her. To open her way, she has to solve a certain problem. What to do if her knowledge is clearly not enough for this, or if her uncertainty in her own choice is so strong that a solution seems impossible?
When she finds herself in an unclear situation, where every choice seems potentially disastrous or, at best, hopeless, her first test is to remain herself. In crisis situations, a woman is tempted to become a victim instead of being a heroine. If she remains true to the heroine in herself, it is clear to her that she is in a bad place and may be defeated, but she continues to believe that one day everything can change. If she turns into a victim, then she begins to blame other people for her troubles or curse fate, drink or take drugs, attack herself with derogatory criticism. In this case, she finally submits to circumstances or even thinks about suicide. Having relinquished the powers of the heroine, a woman becomes inactive or hysterical, panic seizes her, or she acts so impulsively and irrationally that she ultimately suffers a final defeat.
In myths and in life, when the heroine is in a quandary, all she can do is to remain herself and not change her principles and obligations until someone or something unexpectedly comes to her aid. Staying in a situation, expecting the answer to come, is to enter what Jung called "transcendental function." At the same time, he meant something that emerges from the unconscious in order to solve a problem or show the way to the heroine (ego), who needs the help of something that is outside her (or him).
For example, in the myth of Eros and Psyche, Aphrodite gave Psyche four tasks, each of which required her to do something about which she had no idea. Each time, at first, Psyche felt depressed, but then help or advice came - from ants, a green reed, an eagle, a tower. Likewise, Hippomenus, in love with Atalanta, had to race with her in order to win her hand and heart. But he knew that he would not be able to run the distance fast enough to win, and therefore would lose his life. On the eve of the competition, he prayed for help to Aphrodite, which, as a result, helped him to win. In a classic western, a brave but small squad suddenly hears a signal horn and realizes that the cavalry is rushing to help.
These are all archetypal situations. A woman as a heroine must understand that help is possible. When she is in a state of internal crisis and does not know what to do, she should not retreat or act out of fear. Expecting a new understanding or a change in circumstances, meditating or praying - all this means luring out of the unconscious a decision that will help to transcend the hopeless situation.
A woman who had a dream with a bear experienced a deep personal crisis, feeling an urgent need to have a child in the midst of her doctoral dissertation. The instinct of motherhood, which captured her with irresistible force, had previously been suppressed and now demanded to give him his due. Before dreaming, she was in captivity of an "either-or" situation, from which there was no satisfactory outcome. In order to change the situation, she had to feel the solution, and not logically construct it. It was only after she was archetypally affected by sleep and fully realized that she should hold on to her desire to have a child that she was able to calmly delay conception. This dream was the answer of the unconscious, which came to the rescue in solving her dilemma. The conflict disappeared when the symbolic experience gave her a deep and intuitively felt sudden understanding.
The transcendental function can also be expressed through the synchronization of events - in other words, there are very significant coincidences between the internal psychological situation and current events. When faced with such things, they are perceived as miracles. For example, a few years ago, a patient of mine started a self-help program for women. If she had raised a specific amount of money by a certain date, the fund would have allocated her the missing funds to guarantee the continuation of the program. When this date approached, she still did not have the required amount. But she knew that her project was necessary and did not back down. Soon a check arrived in the mail for exactly the amount she needed. She was unexpectedly returned, and with interest, a debt of two years ago, which she had long been discounted.
Of course, in most situations of predicament, we don't get the same clear answers. More often we perceive some symbols that help to clearly understand the situation and then resolve it.
For example, my previous publisher insisted that this book be revised by another person who should have shortened it significantly and presented the ideas presented here in a more popular way. The message “What you are doing is not good enough” that I received for two years was hitting hard psychologically and I was tired. Part of me (like the malleable Persephone) was willing to let someone literally rewrite the book to get it published. And I, taking wishful thinking, began to think that perhaps it would be for the best. A week before the book was to be handed over to another writer, I received a message.
An English author, whose book was rewritten by the same writer under similar circumstances, visited a friend of mine to tell him of his experiences. He expressed what I had never put into words, but nevertheless intuitively knew: "They took the soul out of my book." When I heard these words, I felt that a revelation had been sent down to me. The same should have happened with my book. This gave me the freedom to act decisively. I hired an editor myself and completed the book myself.
The message was loud and clear. Further events developed quite favorably. Grateful for the lesson I had learned, I remembered an ancient Chinese saying expressing belief in synchronicity and transcendental function: "When the student is ready, the teacher will come."
Creative insight is also transcendental. In the creative process, when a solution exists but is not yet known, the artist-inventor-scientist believes that there is an answer and remains in his situation until the solution comes. The creative person is often in a state of increasing tension.
Everything that could be done has already been done. Then the person relies on an incubation period, after which something new is inevitable. A classic example is the chemist Friedrich August Kekule, who discovered the structure of the benzene molecule. He puzzled over the task, but could not cope with it in any way until he dreamed of a snake holding its tail in its mouth. Intuitively, he realized that this is the answer: carbon atoms can combine with each other in closed chains. Then he conducted research and proved that his hypothesis was correct.
From victim to heroine
As I contemplated the heroine's journey, I learned and was very impressed with how Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) is transforming alcoholics and alcoholics from victims to heroines and heroes. AA activates the transcendental function and, in essence, provides lessons on how to become the master of one's own choice.
The alcoholic begins by admitting that she is in a hopeless position: it is inconceivable for her to continue drinking - and at the same time, she cannot stop. At this point of hopelessness, she joins the community of people helping each other on their common journey. She is taught how to appeal to a force much greater than herself to get out of the crisis.
A.A. emphasizes the need to accept what cannot be changed, to change what is possible, and to be able to distinguish one from the other. According to A.A. rules, a person in a dangerous emotional state who cannot clearly see their future path in life plans their actions no further than one step. Gradually, one step at a time, the alcoholic becomes the mistress of her destiny. She gains the ability to make choices and discovers that she can be competent and help others in her compassion.
The female heroine embarks on a journey in search of her own personality. On her way, she finds, loses and rediscovers what makes sense to her, until she adheres to the values she has acquired in any circumstances that test her. She can face again and again what is stronger than her, until eventually the danger of losing her individuality is overcome.
In my office, I have a painting of the inside of a nautilus shell that I painted many years ago. It emphasizes the spiral structure of the shell. Thus, the picture serves as a reminder that the path we take is also often in the form of a spiral. Our development is cyclical - through behavioral patterns that again and again bring us back to our nemesis - to what we must meet and overcome.
Often this is a negative aspect of the goddess that can overtake us: susceptibility to depression of Demeter or Persephone, jealousy and suspicion of Hera, promiscuity in love affairs inherent in Aphrodite, lack of scrupulousness characteristic of Athena, ruthlessness of Artemis. Life gives us multiple opportunities to come face to face with what we fear, what we need to realize, or what we need to overcome. Each time our cycle of development in a spiral turns us to the place of our main problem, we achieve greater awareness, and our next answer will be wiser than the previous one, until in the end we can not peacefully pass by Nemesis in harmony with our deepest values.
End of the journey
What happens at the end of the myth? Eros and Psyche are reunited and their marriage is celebrated on Olympus. Psyche gives birth to a daughter named Joy. Atalanta chooses apples, loses the match and marries Hippomenes. Note that, having shown courage and competence, the heroine does not retire at sunset alone on horseback, like the archetypal cowboy hero. There is nothing of the hero-conqueror in it. Reunion and home is how her journey ends.
The journey of individuality - the psychological search for integrity - ends with the union of opposites in the inner marriage of the "male" and "female" aspects of the personality, which can be symbolically represented by oriental symbols - Yang and Yin, united in a circle. More abstractly and without gender definition, the result of the journey to wholeness is the acquisition of the ability to work and love, to be an active and receptive, independent and loving part of a couple. All of these are components of ourselves, the knowledge of which we can come through life experiences. And these are our potentialities, with which we hit the road.
In the final chapters of Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring, the last temptations to wear the ring were nevertheless overcome and the Ring of Omnipotence was destroyed forever. This round of fighting evil was won, the heroic task of the hobbits was completed, and they returned home to the Shire. Thomas Eliot writes in The Four Quartets:
We will not interrupt our search
And at the end of our wanderings we will come
Where we came from
And we will see our land for the first time.
In real life, such stories do not end very effectively. A recovering alcoholic can go through hell and return to appear in front of others as an unremarkable teetotaler. The heroine, who repelled hostile attacks, proved her strength in the fight against the goddesses, in everyday life often gives the impression of a completely ordinary woman - like the hobbits who returned to the Shire. However, she does not know when, designed to test her essence, a new adventure will herald itself. "
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Gene Shinoda Bohlen is a psychiatrist, Jungian analyst in private practice, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of California Medical Center, and internationally renowned lecturer, author of several books.
FIND YOURSELF AMONG THE GODDESS !!! - Natalia Vinogradova
They say that with men, each of us should be a goddess. So it is, psychologists say. They described the types of our relationship with the stronger sex with the help of ... ancient Greek mythology. Which goddess do you look like?
Demeter is a woman mother.
You strive for the constant care of your loved ones;
- you perceive a man as a child;
- is inclined to make decisions for all family members;
- you think that your family cannot cope without you.
In ancient Greek mythology, Demeter is the goddess of fertility and agriculture. This is the type of mother woman who is empathetic and caring. She sees her happiness in the family: she seeks to warm everyone with warmth, "to take under her wing." But sometimes such excessive solicitude turns into importunity and even imperiousness. Demeter perceives a beloved man as her child. He tries to make decisions for her husband and in difficult situations to take a hit on himself. She has a hard time with a man who is looking for amusement outside the walls of the house.
Advice. For harmonious relationships with loved ones, give them freedom. Your custody can be burdensome. Believe that your family members are able to solve their problems on their own: this will help save your time and energy.
Persephone the female daughter
You perceive your beloved as a father;
- ready to dissolve in it, sacrificing their interests;
- you often do not have enough affection and care;
- you have a tendency to withdraw into yourself and get hung up on anything.
Sincere, receptive, understanding, Persephone is ready to sacrifice any interests for the sake of her "daddy". Her secret desire is to be around her beloved all her life, completely giving herself to him. If necessary, she will study, work, but not because she herself desires it - her chosen one likes it. If she fails to meet her one and only, Persephone suffers, feeling left out and abandoned.
Advice. It is important for you to learn to stop in your sacrifice and look for other ways of self-realization: work, sports, hobbies. By fully devoting yourself to a man, you will cease to be valuable as a person - and he will lose interest and respect in you.
Hera is a wife with a capital letter
You are considered wise and fair;
- you can find a common language with almost anyone;
- for your husband you are a partner and advisor;
- loyalty is the highest value for you.
Like the ancient Greek goddess Hera, who was subordinate to the husband of Zeus, a woman of this type is ready to faithfully serve her husband. A wise and experienced wife, she will help him advance in the service, self-actualize. This does not mean that Hera does not think about herself. She is a wife, which means that she should always be beautiful and well-groomed. Hera is smart, well-read, it is interesting to be with her. She also comprehensively strives to develop children for whom mother is an indisputable authority. The only thing that Hera will not forgive is betrayal or deception, for she herself remains faithful to her husband and considers her a guarantee of family happiness.
Advice. You are used to keeping feelings to yourself. And sometimes you feel a lack of warmth from your chosen one. Do not be afraid to talk to him about this, because your inner harmony is also his happiness.
Hestia is the mistress of the house
Since childhood, you dreamed of a strong family;
- you feel safe only in your home;
- I do not agree that a housewife is not a profession;
- you know how to meet and see off.
Her house is always clean, warm and cozy, and on weekends it smells like pies. Hestia is a true homemaker. Calm and reasonable Hestia will never trade her fortress for the outside world - cruel and full of surprises. Noisy parties, long journeys, crazy ideas - pleasures are not for her. She does not need to realize herself in her career: Hestia's work is in the family. A man with such a woman will be comfortable and calm, however, he may get bored.
Advice. Don't get hung up on the house. Come out of your fortress more often to gain impressions and see the world. Find friends with whom you are interested, look for yourself in creativity, read more - diversify your life.
Athena - General in a Skirt
It is important for you to make a career;
- you know how to solve problems "like a man";
- you strive to lead the stronger sex;
- you respect leaders - the same as yourself.
The goddess of war Athena was born from the head of Zeus. She is a good strategist and excellent
