IN modern world The Gospel call to always be awake and constantly pray is very difficult to put into practice. Constant worries and a very high pace of life, especially in large cities, practically deprive Christians of the opportunity to retire and come before God in prayer. But the concept of prayer is still extremely relevant, and turning to it is certainly necessary. Regular prayer always leads to the thought of repentance, which occurs at confession. Prayer is an example of how you can accurately and objectively assess your state of mind.
Sin concept
Sin should not be viewed as some kind of legal violation of God-given law. This is not a “going beyond the boundaries” accepted in the mind, but a violation of the laws natural to human nature. Each person is endowed by God with absolute freedom; accordingly, any falls are committed consciously. In essence, by committing sin, a person neglects the commandments and values given from above. There is a free choice in favor of negative actions, thoughts and other actions. Such a spiritual crime harms the personality itself, damaging the very vulnerable inner strings of human nature. Sin is based on passions, inherited or acquired, as well as original susceptibility, which made a person mortal and weaker to various diseases and vices.
This greatly contributes to the soul deviating towards evil and immorality. Sin can be different, its severity, of course, depends on many factors in which it is committed. There is a conditional division of sins: against God, against one’s neighbor and against oneself. By considering your own actions through such a gradation, you can understand how to write a confession. An example will be discussed below.
Awareness of sin and confession
It is extremely important to understand that in order to eliminate dark spiritual spots, you should constantly turn your inner gaze to yourself, analyze your actions, thoughts and words, and objectively evaluate the moral scale of your own values. Having found disturbing and haunting traits, you need to carefully deal with them, because if you close your eyes to sin, very soon you will become accustomed to it, which will distort the soul and lead to spiritual illness. The main way out of such a situation is repentance and repentance.
It is repentance, growing from the depths of the heart and mind, that can change a person’s personality. better side, bring the light of kindness and mercy. But the path of repentance is a lifelong path. He is prone to sin and will commit it every day. Even great ascetics who secluded themselves in deserted places sinned in their thoughts and could bring repentance daily. Therefore, close attention to one’s soul should not weaken, and with age, the criteria for personal assessment should be subjected to more stringent requirements. The next step after repentance is confession.
An example of correct confession - true repentance
In Orthodoxy, confession is recommended for all people over seven years of age. By the age of seven or eight, a child raised in a Christian family already acquires an understanding of the sacrament. Often it is prepared in advance, explaining in detail all aspects of it difficult question. Some parents show an example of a confession written on paper that was invented in advance. A child left alone with such information has the opportunity to reflect and see something in himself. But in the case of children, priests and parents rely, first of all, on the psychological state of the child and his worldview, the ability to analyze and understand the criteria of good and evil. With excessive haste in the forcible involvement of children, one can sometimes observe disastrous results and examples.
Confessions in church often turn into a formal “roll call” of sins, while performing only the “external” part of the sacrament is unacceptable. You cannot try to justify yourself, to hide something that is embarrassing and shameful. You need to listen to yourself and understand whether repentance is really present, or whether there is just an ordinary ritual ahead that will not bring any benefit to the soul, but can cause significant harm.
Confession is a voluntary and repentant listing of sins. This sacrament includes two main parts:
1) Confession of sins to the priest by the person who came to the sacrament.
2) Prayerful forgiveness and resolution of sins, which is pronounced by the shepherd.
Preparing for Confession
A question that torments not only new Christians, but sometimes even those who have been churched for a long time - what to say in confession? An example of how to repent can be found in various sources. This could be a prayer book or a separate book dedicated to this particular sacrament.
When preparing for confession, you can rely on the commandments, ordeals, and take the example of the confession of holy ascetics who left records and sayings on this topic.
If you construct a repentant monologue based on the division of sins into three types given above, then you can determine an incomplete, approximate list of deviations.
Sins against God
This category includes lack of faith, superstition, lack of hope in God's mercy, formality and lack of faith in the dogmas of Christianity, grumbling and ingratitude of God, and oaths. This group includes an irreverent attitude towards objects of veneration - icons, the Gospel, the Cross, and so on. Mention should be made of missing services for unexcused reasons and leaving mandatory rules, prayers, and also if prayers were read hastily, without attention and the necessary concentration.
Adherence to various sectarian teachings, thoughts of suicide, turning to sorcerers and sorcerers, wearing mystical talismans is considered apostasy, and such things must be brought to confession. An example of this category of sins is, of course, approximate, and each person can add or shorten this list.
Sins directed against one's neighbor
This group examines attitudes towards people: family, friends, colleagues and just casual acquaintances and strangers. The first thing that most often clearly reveals itself in the heart is the lack of love. Often, instead of love, there is a consumer attitude. Inability and unwillingness to forgive, hatred, gloating, malice and revenge, stinginess, condemnation, gossip, lies, indifference to the misfortune of others, unmercifulness and cruelty - all these ugly thorns in the human soul must be confessed. Separately, actions in which open self-harm occurred or material damage was caused are indicated. This could be fights, extortion, robbery.
The gravest sin is abortion, which certainly entails church punishment after it is brought to confession. An example of what the punishment could be is obtained from the parish priest. Typically, penance will be imposed, but it will be more disciplinary than expiatory.
Sins directed against oneself
This group is reserved for personal sins. Dejection, terrible despair and thoughts of one’s own hopelessness or excessive pride, contempt, vanity - such passions can poison a person’s life and even lead him to suicide.
Thus, listing all the commandments one after another, the pastor calls for a detailed consideration of the state of mind and checking whether it corresponds to the essence of the message.
About brevity
Priests often ask for brief confessions. This does not mean that there is no need to name some sin. We must try to talk specifically about the sin, but not about the circumstances in which it was committed, without involving third parties who may be somehow involved in the situation, and without describing the details in detail. If repentance occurs in church for the first time, you can sketch out an example of confession on paper, then while convicting yourself of sins it will be easier to gather yourself, convey to the priest and, most importantly, to God absolutely everything you noticed, without forgetting anything.
It is recommended to pronounce the name of the sin itself: lack of faith, anger, insult or condemnation. This will be enough to convey what worries and weighs heavily on the heart. “Extracting” the exact sins from oneself is not an easy task, but this is how a short confession is created. An example could be the following: “I sinned: with pride, despondency, foul language, fear of little faith, excessive idleness, bitterness, lies, ambition, abandonment of services and rules, irritability, temptation, bad and unclean thoughts, excess in food, laziness. I also repent of those sins that I forgot and did not say now.”
Confession, of course - difficult task, requiring effort and self-denial. But when a person gets used to the purity of heart and tidiness of the soul, he will no longer be able to live without repentance and the sacrament of communion. A Christian will not want to lose the newly acquired connection with the Almighty and will only strive to strengthen it. It is very important to approach spiritual life not “in spurts,” but gradually, carefully, regularly, to be “faithful in small things,” not forgetting about gratitude to God in absolutely all life situations.
How to prepare for your first confession? This question worries many beginning Orthodox Christians. You will find out the answer to this question if you read the article!
Using the following below simple tips you can take your first steps.
How to confess and receive communion for the first time?
Confession in church
The only exception may be the briefest “memo” of basic sins, which are often not recognized as such.
An example of such a memo:
A. Sins against the Lord God:
– disbelief in God, recognition of any significance for other “spiritual forces”, religious doctrines, in addition to the Christian faith; participation in other religious practices or rituals, even “for company,” as a joke, etc.;
– nominal faith, not expressed in any way in life, that is, practical atheism (you can recognize the existence of God with your mind, but live as if you were an unbeliever);
– the creation of “idols,” that is, placing something other than God in first place among life values. Anything that a person really “serves” can become an idol: money, power, career, health, knowledge, hobbies - all this can be good when it occupies the appropriate place in the personal “hierarchy of values”, but when it comes first , turns into an idol;
– turning to various kinds of fortune tellers, sorcerers, sorcerers, psychics, etc. – an attempt to “subdue” spiritual forces magically, without repentance and personal effort to change life in accordance with the commandments.
b. Sins against one's neighbor:
– neglect of people, resulting from pride and selfishness, inattention to the needs of a neighbor (a neighbor is not necessarily a relative or acquaintance, it is every person who happens to be next to us at the moment);
– condemnation and discussion of the shortcomings of your neighbors (“By your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned,” says the Lord);
– prodigal sins of various kinds, especially adultery (violation of marital fidelity) and unnatural sexual relations, which are incompatible with being in the Church. The so-called so-called, widespread today, also refers to prodigal cohabitation. " civil marriage", that is, cohabitation without marriage registration. It should, however, be remembered that a registered but unmarried marriage cannot be regarded as fornication and is not an obstacle to remaining in the Church;
– Abortion is the taking of the life of a human being, essentially murder. One should repent even if the abortion was done according to medical indications. Inducing a woman to have an abortion (by her husband, for example) is also a serious sin. Repentance for this sin implies that the repentant will never knowingly repeat it again.
– appropriation of someone else’s property, refusal to pay other people’s labor (ticketless travel), withholding wages subordinates or hired workers;
- lies of various kinds, especially - slandering one's neighbor, spreading rumors (as a rule, we cannot be sure of the veracity of rumors), inability to keep one's word.
This is an approximate list of the most common sins, but we emphasize once again that you should not get carried away with such “lists”. Best when further preparation For confession, use the Ten Commandments of God and listen to your own conscience.
- Talk only about sins, and your own.
In confession you need to talk about your sins, without trying to minimize them or show them as excusable. It would seem that this is obvious, but how often do priests, when accepting confession, hear, instead of confessing sins, everyday stories about all their relatives, neighbors and acquaintances. When in confession a person talks about the grievances caused to him, he evaluates and condemns his neighbors, essentially justifying himself. Often in such stories, personal sins are presented in such a light that it would seem completely impossible to avoid them. But sin is always the fruit of personal choice. It is extremely rare that we find ourselves in such conflicts when we are forced to choose between two types of sin.
- Don't invent a special language.
When talking about your sins, you shouldn’t worry about how to call them “correctly” or “church wise”. We must call things by their proper names, in ordinary language. You are confessing to God, who knows even more about your sins than you do, and calling sin as it is will definitely not surprise God.
You won't surprise the priest either. Sometimes penitents are ashamed to tell the priest this or that sin, or there is a fear that the priest, having heard the sin, will condemn you. In fact, over the years of ministry, a priest has to listen to a lot of confessions, and it is not easy to surprise him. And besides, all sins are not original: they have practically not changed over thousands of years. Being a witness to sincere repentance of serious sins, the priest will never condemn, but will rejoice at the person’s conversion from sin to the path of righteousness.
- Talk about serious things, not trifles.
There is no need to start confession with such sins as breaking the fast, not going to church, working on holidays, watching TV, wearing/not wearing certain types of clothes, etc. First of all, these are definitely not your most serious sins. Secondly, this may not be a sin at all: if a person throughout for long years didn’t come to God, then why repent of not keeping fasts if the “vector” of life itself was directed in the wrong direction? Thirdly, who needs endless digging into everyday minutiae? The Lord expects from us love and giving of the heart, and we told him: “I ate fish on a fast day” and “embroidered on a holiday.”
The main focus should be on our relationship with God and our neighbors. Moreover, by neighbors, according to the Gospel, we mean not only people who are pleasant to us, but everyone who has met us in our lives. life path. And above all, our family members. Christian life for family people begins in the family and is tested by it. Here best field to cultivate Christian qualities in oneself: love, patience, forgiveness, acceptance.
- Start changing your life even before confession.
Repentance on Greek sounds like “metanoia”, literally “change of mind”. It is not enough to admit that you have committed such and such offenses in life. God is not a prosecutor, and confession is not a confession. Repentance must be a change of life: the penitent intends not to return to sins and tries with all his might to keep himself from them. Such repentance begins some time before confession, and coming to church to see the priest already “captures” the change taking place in life. This is extremely important. If a person intends to continue sinning after confession, then maybe it’s worth postponing confession?
It is necessary to stipulate that when we talk about changing life and renouncing sin, we mean first of all the so-called “mortal” sins, according to the word of the Apostle John, that is, incompatible with being in the Church. With such sins Christian church Since ancient times, she considered renunciation of faith, murder and adultery. Sins of this kind can also include the extreme degree of other human passions: anger towards one’s neighbor, theft, cruelty, etc., which can be stopped once and for all by an effort of will, combined with the help of God. As for small, so-called “everyday” sins, they will largely be repeated after confession. One must be prepared for this and accept it humbly as an inoculation against spiritual exaltation: there are no perfect people among people, only God alone is sinless.
- Be at peace with everyone.
“Forgive and you will be forgiven,” says the Lord. - “By whatever court you judge, you will be judged.” And even more strongly: “If you bring your gift to the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” . If we ask God for forgiveness, then we ourselves must first forgive the offenders. Of course, there are situations when asking for forgiveness directly from a person is physically impossible, or this will lead to an aggravation of an already difficult relationship. Then it is important to at least forgive on your part and not have anything against your neighbor in your heart.
Some practical recommendations. Before you come to confession, it would be a good idea to find out when confession is usually held in the church. In many churches they serve not only on Sundays and holidays, but also on Saturdays, and in large churches and monasteries - on weekdays. The greatest influx of confessors occurs during Lent. Of course, the Lenten period is primarily a time of repentance, but for those who come for the first time or after a very long break, it is better to choose a time when the priest is not very busy. It may turn out that confession is held in the church on Friday evening or Saturday morning - on these days there will probably be fewer people than during Sunday services. It’s good if you have the opportunity to personally contact the priest and ask him to set a convenient time for you to confess.
There are special prayers that express a repentant “mood.” It is good to read them the day before confession. The repentant canon to the Lord Jesus Christ is printed in almost any prayer book, except for the shortest ones. If you are unfamiliar with praying in Church Slavonic, you can use the Russian translation.
During confession, the priest may assign you penance: abstaining from communion for a while, reading special prayers, prostrations to the ground, or deeds of mercy. This is not a punishment, but a means to overcome sin and receive complete forgiveness. Penance can be prescribed when the priest does not meet the proper attitude towards serious sins on the part of the penitent, or, conversely, when he sees that the person has a need to do something practically to “get rid of” the sin. Penance cannot be indefinite: it is appointed for a certain time, and then must be terminated.
As a rule, after confession, believers take communion. Although confession and communion are two different sacraments, better preparation combine for confession with preparation for communion. We will tell you what kind of preparation this is in a separate article.
If these small tips helped you prepare for confession - thank God. Do not forget that this sacrament must be regular. Don't put off your next confession for many years. Confession at least once a month helps you to always be “on your toes” and treat your life attentively and responsibly. Everyday life, in which, in fact, our Christian faith should be expressed.
Have you read the article?
How to prepare for confession and communion? Preparing for confession and communion, especially for the first time, raises many, many questions. I remember my first communion. How difficult it was for me to figure everything out. In this article you will get answers to the questions: what to say in confession to a priest - an example? How to take communion and confession correctly? rules for communion in church? How to confess for the first time? how to prepare for communion? The answer to these questions is given by the modern Greek preacher Archimandrite Andrei (Konanos) and other priests.
Other useful articles:Communion was instituted by Jesus Christ Himself at his last meal with the Apostles. The modern Greek preacher and theologian Archimandrite Andrei (Konanos) says, if people realized what a gift of unity with God they receive during communion, because now the blood of Christ flows in their veins... if they realized this fully, their lives would change a lot!
But, unfortunately, most people during communion are like children playing with precious stones and those who do not understand their value.
Rules for communion can be found in any Temple. They are usually presented in a small book called “HOW TO PREPARATE FOR HOLY COMMUNION.” These are the simple rules:
- Before communion you need Fast for 3 days- eat only plant foods (no meat, dairy products and eggs).
- Need to be at the evening service the day before communion.
- Need to confess either at the evening service or on the day of communion at the very beginning of the liturgy (the morning service, during which communion takes place).
- Need a few more days pray hard- for this, read morning and evening prayers and read the canons: Canon of repentance to our Lord Jesus Christ ,
Canon of prayer to the Most Holy Theotokos,
Canon to the Guardian Angel,
Follow-up to Holy Communion *. * If you have never read the Canons (in Church Slavonic), you can listen to the audio (available on prayer book sites at the links provided). - You need to take communion on an empty stomach (do not eat or drink anything in the morning). An exception is made for sick people, such as diabetics, for whom food and medicine are vital.
If you begin to receive communion at every liturgy, every Sunday, your confessor will be able to allow you to fast less and not read all the indicated prayers. Don’t be afraid to ask the priest and consult with him.
How is communion celebrated in church?
Suppose you decide to take communion on Sunday. This means that the night before (Saturday) you need to come to the evening service. Usually the evening service in Temples begins at 17:00. Find out what time the liturgy (morning service) begins on Sunday, at which the communion itself will take place. Usually, the morning service in Temples begins at 9:00. If there was no confession at the evening service, then you confess at the beginning of the morning service.
About halfway through the service, the Priest will remove the Chalice from the altar. Everyone who was preparing for communion gathers near the chalice and folds their hands on their chest, right over left. They approach the bowl carefully so as not to tip it over. The priest gives the communicants the Holy Gifts with a spoon - a piece of the body and blood of Christ under the guise of bread and wine.
After this, you need to go to the end of the Temple, where you will be given a drink. This is water diluted with wine. You need to drink it down so that not a single drop or crumb of the Eucharist is wasted. Only after this can you cross yourself. At the end of the service, prayers of thanksgiving should be heard.
How to prepare for confession? What to say to a priest in confession - an example? List of sins
The main rule in confession, which priests always remind us of, is not to recount sins. Because if you start retelling the story of how you committed a sin, then you will unwittingly begin to justify yourself and blame others. Therefore, in confession, sins are simply named. For example: pride, envy, foul language, etc. And so as not to forget anything, use a list of sins against God, against neighbors, against oneself(usually such a list is in the book “HOW TO PREPARE FOR HOLY COMMUNION.”
Write down your sins on a piece of paper so you don’t forget anything. Come to the Temple early in the morning so as not to be late for confession and the general prayer before confession. Before confession, go to the priest, cross yourself, venerate the Gospel and the cross, and begin listing your pre-recorded sins. After confession, the priest will read a prayer of permission and tell you whether you are allowed to receive communion.
It very rarely happens when a priest, for your correction, does not allow you to take communion. This is also a test of your pride.
It is important during confession, naming a sin, to promise yourself not to repeat it. It is very important on the eve of communion to reconcile with your enemies and forgive your offenders.
How to confess for the first time?
The first confession is often called the general confession. As a rule, a piece of paper with a list of sins includes almost all the sins from the list of sins against God, one’s neighbor and oneself. The priest will probably understand that you have come to confession for the first time and will help you with advice on how to try not to repeat sins and mistakes.
I hope the article “How to prepare for confession and communion?” will help you decide and go to confession and communion. This is important for your soul, because confession is the cleansing of the soul. We wash our bodies every day, but we don’t care about the purity of our souls!
If you have never confessed or received communion and it seems to you that it is very difficult to prepare, I recommend that you still perform this feat. The reward will be great. I assure you that you have never experienced anything like this before. After communion, you will feel an extraordinary and incomparable spiritual joy.
The most difficult thing usually seems to be reading the canons and following to Holy Communion. Indeed, it is difficult to read the first time. Use the audio recording and listen to all these prayers over 2-3 evenings.
Listen in this video to the story of priest Andrei Tkachev about how much time (usually several years) separates a person from the desire to go to the first confession until the moment of the first confession.
I wish everyone to enjoy life and thank God for everything!
Alena Kraeva
The importance of confession in church. List of sins and preparation for confession.
Human life is not only about daily activities, family and material goals. This is also a way of realizing oneself, one’s connection with God.
In every religious tradition you will find the Lord's instructions governing the relationships between all beings on the planet and in the Universe.
So it turns out that we are drowning in:
- routine
- emotions
- races for survival and better life in terms of material comfort
- pleasures and desires to have at least something in this life
We forget that we rent from God everything that surrounds us and that comes by fate. Only our landlord unconditionally and boundlessly loves us, is merciful and supportive of any of our tricks, like a loving father to the mischief of his children.
We can give him the greatest satisfaction if we turn our faces to him, remember our connection, regularly pray sincerely and come to confession.
We’ll talk about the last point in more detail in this article.
How to prepare for confession for the first time?
the girl came to ask the priest how to prepare for confessionConfession is the relief of the soul through sincere, humble pronouncement in words of one’s bad deeds that contradict the principles of life indicated in the Holy Scriptures.
If you have never been to confession, and at this moment you decide to close this gap and sincerely repent of your sins before God, use some tips:
- find a temple/church that makes you feel peaceful and relaxed inside
- find out its operating hours - when services, confessions and communions are held
- choose a day when the flow of people is least, or talk to the priest and ask him to appoint you a day and time for confession. If you don’t have enough spirit and strength to immediately repent of what you have done, ask the priest for help. He will set a time for a spiritual conversation with you and prepare you for confession
- take a notebook and pen, write down everything you are ready to repent of
- write only about the most serious things. For example, that you broke your fast or knitted big celebration you may not remember, because similar actions tend to be repeated
- speak simply and clearly, without trying to clothe your actions in church words
- if you are very far from understanding the types of sins, read the Bible, the 10 commandments. Here are simply and succinctly presented those types of actions that are considered sinful and contrary to God's plan for living beings to live with each other
- Buy little books at the church store that list the main sins. However, use this advice only as a last resort. Because there is nothing more important than your sincerity during confession, and the Lord resides in the heart of every person all the time and knows much more about you than you tell the priest during confession
- Before coming to church, you must wear a pectoral cross and clothes accepted for wearing by a Christian
Preparing for confession: list
the priest prays for the penitent during confession Before coming to confession, it is appropriate to take time to prepare. You go deep into yourself, remembering what you said, did and thought about other people or God.
A good practice would be to write down everything that you are ready to sincerely repent of in confession, namely:
- the gravest mortal sins are apostasy from one's religious tradition, murder and adultery, or illicit sex
- Serious destructive behavior - theft, deception, intense anger and hatred towards other people and God
- actions, words and thoughts directed against your neighbor, that is, any person you meet by fate
- words, thoughts, actions directed against God and holy persons
- remember only your actions without judging other people and evaluating their lives
If you have never been to confession for a very long time or have never been to confession and during this time the gravest sins have accumulated, before coming to church for repentance, fast, read prayers of repentance, and perform penances. Find out in more detail from your confessor what actions you should take and for how long.
What to say in confession?
Father helps during confession to name sins correctly Before coming to the temple, think, realize and accept your imperfection in the form of actions, thoughts and words directed against or to the detriment of other people and beings.
During confession, you feel humility and responsibility for not repeating sins in the future.
- Tell the priest only about your actions, do not evaluate other people
- Avoid long, detailed stories about a specific situation.
- Speak simply without excuses or explanations of the motives for your actions and words
- Don’t get caught up in thinking that your story is being evaluated by the priest. Firstly, this is a sign of pride and exaltation of oneself over others, and secondly, the priest, during his practice, listened to many repentant speeches from other people. It’s difficult to surprise him with anything, and he has a different task during hearing confession
What should the priest say in front of the icons in church?
- about the gravest mortal sins
- about the strong negative emotions to neighbors
- repent of those actions that you unintentionally forgot and therefore did not say out loud
What sins to name in confession: a short list
Holy Scripture on the altar for the sacrament of confession Before confession, re-read or remember the 10 commandments that the Lord bequeathed to us. They will become a guide, a hint and a measure of all the actions you have committed.
A brief list of sins voiced in confession looks like this:
- Fornication is watching and listening to videos with erotica, physical infidelity for those who are married, life in a civil marriage
- Gluttony is a passion for satisfying the hunger of the body and tongue.
- The love of money is the race for money, placing money on a pedestal and the first place in life, instead of family and relatives
- Anger - as a quality of character, the desire to control the lives and actions of other people
- Dejection - any type of laziness, especially in performing one's daily duties
- Sadness - prolonged blues, regrets about past days and events
- Vanity - the desire for fame, the desire to possess material goods and property
- Pride is one of the most common sins of modern man. This is putting yourself on a pedestal, lack of sensitivity to the life of another person, voluntary and involuntary humiliation of people around you, animals and other living beings.
How to name sins in confession? Just a list of sins
woman in front of the altar preparing for confession to the priest
As described in previous section There are eight main passions that plague humanity. But just listing them during confession will not give any result. And the priest, as a mediator, will not understand what the sinfulness was and what you repent of, and you will not experience relief in your soul.
Therefore, remember and simply talk about your specific actions, thoughts and words.
First of all, remember and pronounce sins:
- apostasy, doubt in the power of God, atheism
- murders, including abortions even forced for medical reasons
- fornication and betrayal. By the way, any religious tradition condemns civil marriage or cohabitation. Although modern man practices this form of relationship
How to call the sin of masturbation in confession?
girl with a ready-made record of her sins in confession Each sin has decodings and names of its different forms.
This is how handjob happens:
- natural - fornication, adultery
- unnatural - malakia, same-sex contacts, relationships with animals and similar perversions
Fornication is called:
- lustful looks at other women/men
- sexual contacts between unmarried people
- various intimate touches of another person’s body
Adultery is the sins of a husband or wife with other people.
Malakia is the name given to sexually satisfying oneself without the help of anyone.
To understand this issue in more detail, read the book of St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, vol. 1, ch. "The Eight Major Passions with Their Divisions and Industries."
Human life in material world associated with emotions, thoughts and actions that, to one degree or another, affect and violate the interests of other people. Remembering that we are all souls and after returning to the spiritual world we deeply repent of what we did while living on earth, but we are no longer able to change anything, come to church more often and confess to the Holy Father. Learn to forgive all insults to others, pray and may God protect you and your family!
Video: preparing for confession, what sins to name?
Once in our lives we receive Baptism and are anointed with Chrism. Ideally, we get married once. The Sacrament of the Priesthood is not all-encompassing; it is performed only on those whom the Lord has destined to be accepted into the clergy. In the Sacrament of Unction our participation is very small. But the Sacraments of Confession and Communion lead us through our entire lives to eternity, without them the existence of a Christian is unthinkable. We get to them time after time. So sooner or later we still have the opportunity to think: are we preparing for them correctly? And understand: no, most likely not entirely. Therefore, talking about these Sacraments seems very important to us. In this issue, in a conversation with the editor-in-chief of the magazine, Abbot Nektariy (Morozov), we decided to touch upon confession (because covering everything is an impossible task, too “boundless” a topic), and next time we will talk about Communion of the Holy Mysteries.
“I guess, or rather, I guess: nine out of ten who come to confession don’t know how to confess...
- Indeed, it is so. Even people who regularly go to church do not know how to do many things in it, but the worst thing is with confession. Very rarely does a parishioner confess correctly. You have to learn to confess. Of course, it would be better if an experienced confessor, a man of high spiritual life, spoke about the Sacrament of Confession and repentance. If I decide to talk about this here, it’s simply as a person who confesses, on the one hand, and on the other, as a priest who quite often has to accept confession. I will try to summarize my observations of my own soul and how others participate in the Sacrament of Repentance. But by no means do I consider my observations sufficient.
— Let's talk about the most common misconceptions, misconceptions and mistakes. The man is walking to confession for the first time; he heard that before receiving communion, one must confess. And that in confession you need to tell your sins. He immediately has a question: for what period should he “report”? Over your entire life, starting from childhood? But can you retell all this? Or do you not need to retell everything, but just say: “In childhood and youth I showed selfishness many times” or “In my youth I was very proud and vain, and even now, in fact, I remain the same”?
— If a person comes to confession for the first time, it is quite obvious that he needs to confess for his entire past life. Starting from the age when he could already distinguish good from evil - and until the moment he finally decided to confess.
How can you tell your whole life in a short time? In confession, we do not tell our whole life, but what is sin. Sins are specific events. However, there is no need to recount all the times when you sinned with anger, for example, or with lies. You must say that you committed this sin, and cite some of the brightest, most terrible manifestations of this sin - those that truly hurt your soul. There is one more pointer: what do you least want to tell about yourself? This is exactly what needs to be said first. If you are going to confession for the first time, it is best for you to set yourself the task of confessing your heaviest, most painful sins. Then the confession will become more complete, deeper. The first confession cannot be like this - for several reasons: this is a psychological barrier (coming for the first time in front of a priest, that is, in front of a witness, telling God about your sins is not easy) and other obstacles. A person does not always understand what sin is. Unfortunately, not even all people living church life know and understand the Gospel well. And except in the Gospel, the answer to the question of what is sin and what is virtue, perhaps, will not be found anywhere. In the life around us, many sins have become commonplace... But even when reading the Gospel to a person, his sins are not immediately revealed, they are gradually revealed by the grace of God. St. Peter of Damascus says that the beginning of the health of the soul is seeing one’s sins as countless as the sand of the sea. If the Lord had immediately revealed to a person his sinfulness in all its horror, not a single person could have endured it. That is why the Lord reveals his sins to a person gradually. This can be compared to peeling an onion - first they removed one skin, then the second - and finally they got to the onion itself. That is why it very often happens: a person goes to church, regularly confesses, takes communion - and finally realizes the need for the so-called general confession. It very rarely happens that a person is ready for it right away.
- What it is? How does general confession differ from ordinary confession?
— General confession, as a rule, is called confession for the entire life lived, and in a certain sense this is true. But a confession that is not so comprehensive can also be called general. We repent of our sins from week to week, from month to month, this is a simple confession. But from time to time you need to give yourself a general confession - a review of your entire life. Not the one that was lived, but the one that is now. We see that we repeat the same sins, and we cannot get rid of them - that’s why we need to understand ourselves. Review your entire life as it is now.
— How to treat the so-called questionnaires for general confession? They can be seen in church shops.
— If by general confession we mean precisely confession for the entire life lived, then here there really is a need for some kind of external aid. The best guide for confessors is the book by Archimandrite John (Krestyankin) “The Experience of Constructing a Confession”, it is about the spirit, in the right mood a repentant person, about what exactly needs to be repented. There is a book “Sin and Repentance of the Last Times. About the secret ailments of the soul" by Archimandrite Lazar (Abashidze). Useful excerpts from St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov) - “To help the penitent.” As for the questionnaires - yes, there are confessors, there are priests who do not approve of these questionnaires. They say that you can read in them such sins that the reader has never even heard of, but if he reads them, he will be harmed... But, unfortunately, there are almost no sins left that modern man would not know about. Yes, there are questions there that are stupid, rude, there are questions that are clearly sinning with excessive physiology... But if you treat the questionnaire as a working tool, like a plow with which you need to plow yourself all over once, then, I think, you can use it. In the old days, such questionnaires were called “renewal,” which is so wonderful to modern ears. Indeed, with their help, man renewed himself as the image of God, just as an old, dilapidated and grimy icon is renewed. There is no need to think about whether these questionnaires are in good or bad literary form. TO serious shortcomings On some questionnaires, this is what needs to be said: the compilers include in them something that, in essence, is not a sin. Didn’t you wash your hands with scented soap, for example, or did you do laundry on Sunday... If you washed them during Sunday service, that’s a sin, but if you washed them after the service because there was no other time, I personally don’t see it as a sin.
“Unfortunately, you can sometimes buy this in our church shops...
- This is why it is necessary to consult a priest before using the questionnaire. I can recommend the book by Priest Alexy Moroz “I Confess Sin, Father” - it is a reasonable and very detailed questionnaire.
— Here it is necessary to clarify: what do we mean by the word “sin”? Most of those who confess, when they pronounce this word, mean a sinful act. That is, in essence, a manifestation of sin. For example: “Yesterday I was harsh and cruel to my mother.” But this is not a separate, not some random episode, this is a manifestation of the sin of dislike, intolerance, unforgiveness, selfishness. This means that you shouldn’t say that, not “yesterday I was cruel,” but simply “I’m cruel, there’s little love in me.” Or how should I say it?
— Sin is a manifestation of passion in action. We must repent of specific sins. Not in passions as such, because passions are always the same, you can write one confession to yourself for the rest of your life, but in those sins that were committed from confession to confession. Confession is the Sacrament that gives us the opportunity to start a new life. We repented of our sins, and from that moment our life began anew. This is the miracle that takes place in the Sacrament of Confession. That is why you always need to repent - in the past tense. You shouldn’t say: “I offend my neighbors,” I should say: “I offended my neighbors.” Because I have the intention, having said this, not to offend people in the future.Each sin in confession should be named so that it is clear what exactly it is. If we repent of idle talk, we do not need to retell all the episodes of our idle talk and repeat all our idle words. But if in some case there was so much idle talk that we tired someone with it or said something completely unnecessary, we probably need to talk about this in confession in a little more detail, more definitely. There are such words from the Gospel: For every idle word that people speak, they will give an answer on the day of judgment (Matthew 12:36). You need to look at your confession in advance from this point of view - whether there will be idle talk in it.
- And yet about passions. If I feel irritated by my neighbor’s request, but I don’t show this irritation in any way and provide him with the necessary help, should I repent of the irritation I experienced as a sin?
- If you, feeling this irritation within yourself, consciously fought against it - this is one situation. If you accepted this irritation of yours, developed it in yourself, reveled in it - this is a different situation. Everything depends on the direction of a person's will. If a person, experiencing a sinful passion, turns to God and says: “Lord, I don’t want this and I don’t want it, help me get rid of it,” there is practically no sin on the person. There is sin - to the extent that our heart participated in these tempting desires. And how much we allowed him to participate in this.
— Apparently, we need to dwell on the “disease of telling,” which stems from a certain cowardice during confession. For example, instead of saying “I behaved selfishly,” I begin to tell: “At work... my colleague says... and in response I say...”, etc. I eventually report my sin, but - just like that, within the frame of the story. This is not even a frame, these stories play, if you look at it, the role of clothing - we dress in words, in the plot, so as not to feel naked in confession.
- Indeed, it’s easier this way. But you don’t need to make it easy for yourself to confess. Confession should not contain unnecessary details. There shouldn't be any other people with their actions. Because when we talk about other people, we most often justify ourselves at the expense of these people. We also make excuses due to some of our circumstances. On the other hand, sometimes the extent of the sin depends on the circumstances of the sin. Beating a person out of drunken anger is one thing, stopping a criminal while protecting the victim is quite another. To refuse to help one's neighbor because of laziness and selfishness is one thing, to refuse because the temperature that day was forty is another. If a person who knows how to confess confesses in detail, it is easier for the priest to see what is happening to this person and why. Thus, the circumstances of the sin need to be reported only if the sin you committed is not clear without these circumstances. This is also learned through experience.
Excessive telling during confession may also have another reason: a person’s need for participation, spiritual help and warmth. Here, perhaps, a conversation with a priest is appropriate, but it should be at a different time, certainly not at the time of confession. Confession is a Sacrament, not a conversation.
— Priest Alexander Elchaninov in one of his entries thanks God for helping him every time experience confession as a catastrophe. What should we do to ensure that our confession, at least, is not dry, cold, formal?
“We must remember that the confession that we say in church is the tip of the iceberg. If this confession is everything, and everything is limited to it, we can say that we have nothing. There was no actual confession. There is only the grace of God, which, despite our foolishness and recklessness, still acts. We have the intention to repent, but it is formal, it is dry and lifeless. It’s like that fig tree, which if it bears any fruit, it will be with great difficulty.Our confession is performed at another time and prepared at another time. When we, knowing that tomorrow we will go to church, confess, sit down and sort out our lives. When I think: why have I judged people so many times during this time? But because, judging them, I myself look better in my own eyes. Instead of dealing with my own sins, I condemn others and justify myself. Or I find some kind of pleasure in condemnation. When I understand that as long as I judge others, I will not have the grace of God. And when I say: “Lord, help me, otherwise, how long will I kill my soul with this?” After this, I will come to confession and say: “I condemned people countless times, I exalted myself over them, I found sweetness in this for myself.” My repentance lies not only in the fact that I said it, but in the fact that I decided not to do it again. When a person repents in this way, he receives very great grace-filled consolation from confession and confesses in a completely different way. Repentance is a change in a person. If no change occurred, confession remained to a certain extent a formality. “Fulfillment of Christian duty,” as for some reason it was customary to express it before the revolution.
There are examples of saints who brought repentance to God in their hearts, changed their lives, and the Lord accepted this repentance, although there was no stole over them, and the prayer for the remission of sins was not read. But there was repentance! But with us it’s different - the prayer is read, and the person receives communion, but repentance as such has not occurred, there is no break in the chain of sinful life.
There are people who come to confession and, having already stood in front of the lectern with the cross and the Gospel, begin to remember what they sinned. This is always a real torment - both for the priest, and for those who are waiting for their turn, and for the man himself, of course. How to prepare for confession? Firstly, an attentive, sober life. Secondly - there is good rule, in place of which you can’t think of anything: every day in the evening, devote five to ten minutes not even to thinking about what happened during the day, but to repentance before God for what a person considers himself to have sinned. Sit down and mentally go through the day - from the morning hours to the evening hours. And realize every sin for yourself. A big sin or a small one - you need to understand it, feel it and, as Anthony the Great says, put it between yourself and God. See it as an obstacle between yourself and the Creator. Feel this terrible metaphysical essence of sin. And for every sin ask God for forgiveness. And put in your heart the desire to leave these sins in the past. It is advisable to write down these sins in some kind of notebook. This helps to put a limit on sin. We did not write down this sin, we did not do such a purely mechanical action, and it “passed on” to the next day. And then it will be easier to prepare for confession. There is no need to “suddenly” remember everything.
— Some parishioners prefer confession in this form: “I sinned against such and such a commandment.” This is convenient: “I sinned against the seventh” - and there is no need to say anything more.
“I believe this is completely unacceptable.” Any formalization of spiritual life kills this life. Sin is the pain of the human soul. If there is no pain, then there is no repentance. St. John Climacus says that the forgiveness of our sins is evidenced by the pain that we feel when we repent of them. If we do not experience pain, we have every reason to doubt that our sins have been forgiven. And the Monk Barsanuphius the Great, answering questions from various people, repeatedly said that a sign of forgiveness is a loss of sympathy for previously committed sins. This is the change that must happen to a person, an internal turn.
- Another common opinion: why would I repent if I know that I won’t change anyway - it will be hypocrisy and hypocrisy on my part.
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But here is a situation known to me personally: a girl regularly came to one of the Moscow churches and confessed that she earned her living by what is, as they say, the most ancient profession. No one allowed her to receive Communion, of course, but she continued to walk, prayed, and tried to somehow participate in the life of the parish. I don’t know if she managed to leave this craft, but I know for sure that the Lord protects her and does not leave her, waiting for the necessary change.
It is very important to believe in the forgiveness of sins, in the power of the Sacrament. Those who do not believe complain that after confession there is no relief, that they leave the church with a heavy soul. This comes from a lack of faith, even from a lack of faith in forgiveness. Faith should give a person joy, and if there is no faith, there is no need to hope for any spiritual experiences and emotions.
- Sometimes it happens that some long-standing (usually) action of ours evokes in us a reaction that is more humorous than repentant, and it seems to us that talking about this action in confession is excessive zeal, bordering on hypocrisy or coquetry. Example: I suddenly remember that once in my youth I stole a book from the library of a holiday home. I think that we need to say this in confession: no matter how you look at it, the eighth commandment has been broken. And then it becomes funny...
“I wouldn’t take it so lightly.” There are actions that cannot even be formally committed, because they destroy us - not even as people of faith, but simply as people of conscience. There are certain barriers that we must set for ourselves. These saints could have spiritual freedom, which allows them to do things that are formally condemned, but they did them only when these actions were for the good.
— Is it true that you do not need to repent of sins committed before Baptism if you were baptized in adulthood?
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— We have talked quite a lot here about how to prepare for confession, but what should we read or, as they say, proofread at home the day before, what prayers? The prayer book contains the Follow-up to Holy Communion. Do I need to proofread it in its entirety and is that enough? In addition, Communion may not follow confession. What to read before confession?
— It is very good if a person reads the Canon of Repentance to the Savior before confession. There is also a very good Penitential Canon of the Mother of God. This could be simply a prayer with the repentant feeling “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” And it is very important, remembering every sin committed, bringing to the heart the awareness of its destruction for us, from the heart, in your own words, ask God for forgiveness for it, simply standing in front of icons or bowing. To come to what St. Nicodemus the Holy Mountainer calls the feeling of being “guilty.” That is, to feel: I am dying, and I am aware of it, and I am not justifying myself. I recognize myself as worthy of this death. But with this I go to God, surrender myself before His love and hope for His mercy, believing in it.
Abbot Nikon (Vorobyov) has a wonderful letter to a certain woman, no longer young, who, due to age and illness, had to prepare for the transition to Eternity. He writes to her: “Remember all your sins and repent of each one - even the one you confessed - before God until you feel that the Lord forgives you. It’s not a charm to feel that the Lord forgives; this is what the holy fathers called joyful crying—repentance that brings joy.” This is the most necessary thing - to feel peace with God.
Interviewed by Marina Biryukova
