Is it possible to marry your child's godmother? Is it possible to marry your godmother's son?

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Good afternoon Please tell me if I can get married in this situation: my uncle has a wife, she was married before marrying my uncle, and gave birth to a child in this marriage. My uncle raised him, but, in fact, this young man was born cousin is not to me. We are dating and want to get married. Is this acceptable? Thank you in advance.

Tatiana

Formally, by blood, you are not related. A secular marriage is possible, but a church marriage... I would advise you to put the matter in writing at the diocesan administration and get permission there.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello. I am 39 years old, of which 20 years I have loved one man, and he loves me too. It so happened that we were separated for 15 years because we lived in different countries, we have now found each other and want to get married, but my mother will not let me go to him, she even hid my passport. All my attempts to negotiate with her are in vain. But I want to marry him and start a family with him because I’ve been waiting for him for almost half my life. I don't want to step over my mother. Tell me, according to God’s laws, can I not ask my mother and arrange my life? Please give me advice, what should I do?

Ksenia

You are an adult, you must decide for yourself. By the way, why is mom against it? Is there anything healthy about her negative attitude towards your marriage?

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello, fathers! Please answer me the following questions: 1) Is it a sin, if you are dating a guy, to spend the night with him sometimes (without entering into an intimate relationship)? 2) If sometimes evil thoughts come, which I don’t want to think about, but they creep in, which are against God, an insult, some kind of unbelief, although I believe and understand that these are thoughts from the enemy, what should I do? Confess them? 3) How to get rid of pride, it overwhelms me, what causes laziness? 4) I’m dating a guy, we like each other, but I feel that sometimes I understand that it would be better to be alone, for salvation. I still have a year to study, I don’t want to torment him, but I don’t know what to do, I didn’t lie, I said that I began to like being alone (although not always), and that we must decide this year whether we will be together or not, he himself doesn’t go to church, this also confuses me. We’ve been dating for 3 years, I don’t know what to do, and I don’t want to torment him, he admits that it’s hard for him, but he doesn’t propose marriage, he says there’s a time for everything, and the man himself is very kind and respectable.

Catherine

Katya, spending the night with a man who is not even a fiancé is simply indecent, unless this is an isolated case. From thoughts, you need to read the Jesus Prayer and watch what you watch and read. So as not to provoke bad thoughts. Your his young man, apparently you don’t like it, and it doesn’t really burn. Therefore, these are the questions, and I think you will find the answers to them yourself.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Good afternoon Can I perform a nikah ceremony if I was married, but have been officially divorced for a long time? Thank you.

Julia

Hello Julia. Marriage with a non-Christian is, in principle, not blessed by the Church. If there is no community of faith and worldview between spouses, then there will be no unity. As long as the chemistry of feelings and physiology is in effect, it’s good, but then it will pass and there will be nothing left. The participation of a Christian in a rite of other faiths is a betrayal of Christ, a voluntary excommunication of oneself from the Church. No one will forbid you to marry a Muslim, but at least enter into a legal marriage with registration in the registry office.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Good afternoon My daughter to marry forward younger brother, got married to a young man without registering the marriage (we made an agreement with the priest). A year later, their paths diverged; in a fit of despair, she turned to a priest (already a different one), and he debunked her in unilaterally(since the young man did not give his consent to this). Now they are together again. I read that the concept of debunking does not exist, but only a blessing for remarriage (wedding). I ask you to answer two questions for me: 1. Are my daughter and her chosen one husband and wife? 2. What kind of “debunking” was the priest conducting? (the daughter paid a certain amount of money, bought something for dethronement), if this was a blessing for remarriage, then the daughter was not going to remarry, there was no divorce certificate or marriage certificate). Thank you! I wish health to those reading my message!

Svetlana

Everything is somehow confusing for you. I think that the daughter and her husband should go to church for confession and sort out their relationship under the guidance of an experienced priest (not the one who “debunked”). And you shouldn’t interfere in their story, let them solve their own problems.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Please tell me, is it possible for a Christian woman to do nikah and not convert to Islam? Thank you very much for the answer.

Hello, Oksana. It is forbidden. It is impossible in our time to prohibit a Christian woman from marrying a Muslim, but at least it is necessary to warn him. Nikah is not a legal marriage. It has no legal force. Consequently, this is cohabitation from the point of view of the law, and fornication from the point of view of Christian doctrine. Enter into a legal marriage with registration at the registry office. There is no and cannot be a religious community in you, therefore, participation in ceremonies of other faiths is also impossible. This will be a departure from Christ.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Good afternoon I have this question for you. Can I marry my godmother's son?

Natalia

Rule 53 of the Trullo Council prohibits marriage between godparents (godparents) and the parents of those adopted (baptized). By a decree of January 19, 1810, the Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church, in accordance with this rule, limited marriages of spiritual kinship to only two degrees, that is, it prohibited marriages between adopted children and their parents. That is, there is no direct ban on such marriage. However, I would advise you to obtain written permission for such a union from the diocesan administration (due to close spiritual kinship) so that in subsequent church life you do not depend on the opinion of an individual priest on this issue.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello, father! I wanted to ask you. My cousin died 4 years ago. Do I have the moral right to marry her husband? Thank you

Lyudmila

Formally, one cannot marry one’s own sister’s husband. Contact the diocesan administration with a request to bless your union in order to remove all questions. They have the right to resolve “disputed” marriages in exceptional cases. It's in their power.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello! I don't have a question, I just want support and understanding! Please give me good advice, support me! I am 21 years old. Recently I told the priest that I was sick and my dream was to get married. My disease is called vegetative-vascular dystonia. I often feel bad. The priest called me very cruel and told me to forget about this thought forever. He told me to stop tormenting my potential suitors, although he doesn’t know me at all, I’ve never held a guy’s hand or kissed him. I have three sisters, they are all married, they all have their own families, love. It just really hurts me that I am worse than all of them before God. I gave the priest almost hundreds of examples of how seriously ill people, even bedridden for life, dreamed of getting married, and their dream came true, they even had children. These are strong, friendly families. But the priest objected to me again, saying that they acted contrary to God. If you're sick, take care of your soul and don't interfere family life. God knows, I know about a hundred examples of such families. Why was the priest so rude to me? From his words, I understood that only healthy people deserve to be loved, and we, the sick, are the scum of society. All believers shout with one voice “THE MAIN THING IS THE SOUL”! , and in fact, even priests despise the sick. Why do this to the sick, we also feel it, healthy people cannot imagine how much pain we carry in our souls, how many tears we have cried. Let healthy people consider this envy and judge us, but healthy, happy families cannot even imagine what it’s like to watch couples in love holding hands, kissing and pushing children in a stroller, and you are not worthy of all this. God will not hug you, will not talk to you, will not kiss you, will not wish you good night, will not give you a glass of water... Are the sick really not worthy of love and family happiness? I have no calling to monasticism, and I cannot live alone in the world. I don’t want to live, I can’t live alone anyway, my parents support me now, but they won’t last forever. Is it possible to ask God for a quick death so that you don’t have to suffer alone?

Faith

Vera, I don’t want to discuss the priest’s words, because I don’t know the whole situation. I will say what is obvious to me. I have seen unhappy marriages of absolutely healthy people and happy families of disabled people (even husband and wife). Everything depends not on health, but on the ability to love each other. Your diagnosis defines a very wide range of female painful conditions without specific treatment - “take your vitamins and wait for it to go away on its own.” What worries me is not your illness, but the attitude towards marriage “I can’t live alone” - this is not how you want to start a family. You are going to take, but what can you give to another person?

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello! Please tell me, I want to find a man and get married a second time, but I can’t do it, men don’t look in my direction at all. Do I need the priest's blessing? Or say a prayer?

Larisa

I think that you need to not only pray, but think deeply about what in your life and behavior needs to be adjusted. What character traits and behavioral traits create problems for you in communicating with people. Not only with men.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Good afternoon, father. I had a problem, my beloved husband stopped loving me, said that he didn’t love me anymore, didn’t want to see me, and wanted to live a bachelor life again, without having to answer to anyone. And at the very end, I found out that he had been cheating on me for more than six months, and was cheating on me. We were married for 2 years and were married. We don't have children. Although my soul hurts from betrayal and injustice, now I am forced to file for divorce, and I don’t know how to live further. If I meet my true destiny and want to have a family again, will it be considered adultery if I enter into a new relationship, will I be able to get married again? Will I be able to get married in church again? And, forgive me for my boldness, but I read somewhere that after death, with whom we were married, we will be able to see each other in the next world. From these considerations, it turns out that I will see both the first spouse and the second? I understand that in our world, I will not be able to build a relationship without starting to share a bed with a man before marriage. But what should I do? What should I do? Help me find answers to these questions. Sincerely, Olga And may the Lord help us all.

Olga

In case of adultery of the spouse, the wife has legal right for marriage, including church marriage. But you definitely shouldn’t sin before marriage. How then can we count on God’s help? And as for the future eternal life, then the relationship there will be of a different nature, non-carnal.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

I heard that you can order a prayer service in order to get married. How's that? Is this some kind of special prayer service for a certain saint? Enlighten. God bless you.

Julia

We must pray to Christ! You can turn to any saint whom you especially honor or who is close to you for help. I am against the “specialization” of saints. But it is also important to think about what your problem is: environment, complexes, inability to communicate, etc. This also needs to be resolved.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello! Is it possible to marry your own godfather?

Daria

It is forbidden. This is the first degree of spiritual relationship

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello, father! Please tell me, I'm completely confused. Three years ago I met a girl. We started dating. She and I are baptized. A year ago we decided to try to cohabit together. We lived together for about 9 months. During this period, I repeatedly asked her to marry me. She refused. So we never officially registered. They didn’t get married in the church either. In general, we just lived together. Then, after one serious quarrel, they fled. Moreover, they gave each other complete freedom. We don't have and never had children. 1.5 months after the breakup, I slept with another girl (out of resentment and anger). Another month passed, and I again tried to return to my first girlfriend, told her everything myself and, repenting, asked her for forgiveness for everything I had done. She remained lost in thought. My question is: is treason with the Divine and human point Is there an action I have committed for which I truly repent? How can I atone for this sin?

Vadim

There used to be a stupid song: “If love doesn’t come true, do as you want…. New meeting the best remedy from loneliness." So it happened to you as in this song... From a canonical point of view, everything you did was adultery and fornication - both with the first girl and with the second. There is only one cure for this - confession and repentance. If a girl can forgive you and embrace you again, then with God it is more difficult... You have betrayed His commandments... Therefore, you need to build relationships differently, from scratch.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello. Can godmother marry your godson's father?

Irina

No, according to church rules, successors cannot marry each other or the parents of their godson, since there is already a spiritual relationship between them. As you understand, marriage between relatives is impossible.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello! I can’t get married, I often get discouraged. I pray, I pray, I know that everything is God’s will, but my soul hurts so much. Thank you. Thank you.

Natasha

Hello, Natasha. You probably pray passionately, trying to get exactly what you want from God. But God is not a fulfiller of desires. He's a heart man. We assume that this and that would be good for us, but in fact, we don’t know what is good for us. We proceed from the belief that what we want is useful to us. But what really? The Lord never gives us what we passionately desire, because passion is destructive. Learn to thank God for everything. Let this be your main daily prayer: Glory to God! Whatever happens: Thank God for everything! You know what they say: Thank God for everything I have, and three times, thank God for what I don’t have.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello, father! I have this question: will I be allowed to marry an incapacitated and incapacitated man, he is disabled after an accident? I mean, get married.

Natalia

What is the point of marrying an incompetent person? Are you sure that you will bear this cross?

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

If a priest husband dies, can his wife remarry?

Irina

Hello Irina. The Apostle writes about this situation: “To the unmarried and to widows I say: it is good for them to remain as I do. But if they cannot abstain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to become inflamed.” (1 Cor. 7, 8–9) God help you.

Priest Sergius OsipovPriest Sergius Osipov

Hello. I heard the following quote: “It’s not good for a person to be alone...” 10 years ago I changed my place of residence and moved in with relatives. My relatives didn’t understand me and didn’t accept me (as they did at my previous place of residence and work), I don’t get along with local people common language- they are cunning, mean and boorish towards me. I didn’t find any friends, my relatives didn’t respect me from the first days - criticism, gossip, insults - everything comes from my godmother (she hates her godson for his wealth, and me for his straightforwardness and unwillingness to please her over trifles, although I married her husband after a stroke). There are constant squabbles in my family - I can no longer communicate with them, I feel bad with them. Mom always makes excuses for relatives and seeks my guilt before them. I understand how it looks: everyone is bad, and I’m good, and of course, this doesn’t happen, but it’s been like this since I was 5 years old, as I remember. Relatives said that I was mocking my mother and they still say that, although I protected her from her father who was throwing himself at her - everyone felt sorry for her, but I was a nervous wreck. Mom is a victim who did not understand when to close her mouth, even after my requests to shut up (I saw that my father was getting angry and was afraid). Now I’m in my father’s shoes - I’m shaking from her “I just said it.” My father is in prison for the murder of his partner (we ran away from him when I was 13). My nerves are completely frayed, I’m afraid of becoming like my father. But I notice that the dialogues between her and her father are repeated with my mother, only now my father’s remarks are mine. It scares me. I can’t find a confessor for myself here - I probably don’t trust anyone anymore. But mental loneliness weighs on me. I didn’t get married at 35. I have no children. My life turned 180 degrees when I moved. Why does God, although he helps me out of troubles, does not seem to let me near me? good people? I know that pride is my sin. But I can’t be friends with just anyone and marry the first person who comes along, and forgive my relatives, who have never asked me for forgiveness for the nasty things that they casually throw at me. And I don’t feel good alone, and I don’t feel good in the society where I find myself. What should I do?

Elena

Hello, Elena. I sincerely feel sorry for you, believe me. We create heaven or hell for ourselves, and carry them within ourselves. You listed all the evil that surrounds you, but said nothing about your own sins. After all, we are not given a commandment to demand love for ourselves, we are given another: as you want people to do to you, do so to them. Not the way we think they deserve, but the way we want to be treated. Moreover, don’t even think about others what you don’t want them to think about you. We don’t see people, we don’t see their essence, their souls, their hearts, we only see their skin. Agree that it is naive and stupid to believe that skin is a person. We see actions, hear words, but we do not see the reason, we do not see the struggle between good and evil in the human soul. But she is coming. We know little more about ourselves, but for some reason we think it unnecessary to worry about studying ourselves. You are in a difficult position right now. At first you built a fortress around yourself, but it turned out that you built a crypt. You have to destroy it, otherwise you will remain in it. Now it is vitally important for you to force yourself to help people who are very ill, immeasurably worse than you: legless, armless, dying. Jump out of the shell of self-pity in which you have imprisoned yourself. Believe me, there is death in it. After all, now you won’t even be able to repent. You need to cry not out of frustration, resentment and self-pity, but out of sympathy for the person for whom there is no hope left. After all, you have a way out, you have hope, you have a future. That's when your liberation will begin.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

1

Conversation with Candidate of Theology Archpriest Dimitry Moiseev

-What is the theological meaning of the Sacrament of Baptism?

The theological meaning of the Sacrament of Baptism is very simple - the union of a person with God. Saint Gregory the Theologian wrote: “What is not received is not healed, but what is united with God is saved.” Since, according to Dionysius the Areopagite, salvation is deification and nothing more, he directly states this, therefore Baptism is the beginning of deification. That is, as the Monk Simeon the New Theologian said, Christ Himself enters a person, like a seed, and abides in him. And then, according to the words of the blessed Diadochos of Photiki, this grace of God, which has entered into man, helps him in the work of deification.

This means that, as far as human will extends, this will is strengthened by the grace of God, since man himself cannot completely change himself, change himself into the new Adam. All this is done by the grace of God, which we receive in baptism. If we listen to the words of the holy righteous Nicholas Cabasilas, we will understand that, in essence, the grace of God itself saves a person, it itself enlightens and deifies him. And a person’s job is only to not interfere with this grace. What does it mean not to interfere with grace? Don't sin. Every sin of ours is an attempt to close ourselves off from grace, “to throw off the crown from our heads, to extinguish the fire that the Lord lit...” And the fight against sin requires constant effort from a person. Therefore, it is completely unreasonable to say that it is enough to accept the Sacrament of Baptism and do nothing else. This means that we will let God into our lives, into ourselves, and say: “Lord, sit there somewhere in our backyard, and during this time I will solve some of my earthly problems: I’ll buy a field, buy oxen, find a wife.” . This is where all the problems come from. Reading the Gospel, we see: the Savior’s parables are talking about exactly this. For example, the parable of the talents. Talent can be developed, or it can be buried in the ground. What awaits us for this is known. Anyone who accepts the Sacrament of Baptism and does nothing will become just like the person who buried his talent in the ground. Again, the parable about the wedding garment: the owner of the feast invited guests, and a man came there without a wedding garment, and he was driven out into the pitch darkness. This becomes especially clear if we remember the ancient custom: a rich man who invited his acquaintances to a feast gave each of them wedding clothes. The meaning of the parable becomes immediately clear: I gave you clothes, and you put them somewhere. This is a direct analogy with the Sacrament of Baptism. And accordingly, the role assigned to godparents becomes clear.

-How to choose godparents and why are they also called “godparents”?

They are called recipients because they receive the child from the font. That is, based on the main action at which a person becomes a godfather, he is called a godparent.
Dionysius the Areopagite writes that the godfather is like a confessor; he is a mentor of spiritual life. But how can one instruct in spiritual life who does not lead it himself? The godfather or mother, accordingly, must teach the child spiritual life, for this they themselves must lead it, know it, understand it. Otherwise there will be no point in their succession. It is on this basis that godparents must be chosen: so that these are people who can really, at a minimum, pray for their godparents, and it is highly desirable that they can give some advice on spiritual life and help parents. And although it is clear that in our time the main functions of the spiritual education of children still lie with the parents, godparents, I would say, are somewhat external people for the family, and accordingly, it will be much easier for the child to listen to them. This is not mom and dad, to whom the child is already accustomed, but some, perhaps, more authoritative person. God grant that godparents enjoy such authority among children.

What are the responsibilities godparents in relation to godchildren, godchildren to godchildren, as well as godfathers and godfathers to each other?

The responsibilities of godparents in relation to their godchildren are to guide them to salvation and help them in this matter. And the duties of godchildren, accordingly, are to obey their godparents and heed their advice. Between themselves godparents duties they have none, since, strictly speaking, only one godfather is canonically needed, of the same gender as the child. A boy definitely needs a godfather, a girl needs a godmother. And if there is a recipient of the second gender, it’s good, but if there isn’t one, it’s not scary. This is simply a person of prayer in essence, and the main responsibility towards the godson, of course, lies with the recipient of the same sex.

Is it true that monks, a married couple and the parents of their own children cannot be the adopters of one child?

The monk withdraws from the world altogether. Therefore, it should have nothing to do with worldly life. Moreover, a monk should not be involved in raising children. Because even if we talk about ancient monastic traditions, any monk had the right to leave the monastery under one of three conditions: if the abbot of the monastery is a heretic, if women are allowed access to the monastery, and if children are being raised at the monastery. one of these three reasons is enough for a monk to leave his monastery completely legally and calmly. Therefore, it is still not appropriate for monks to raise children.

If we talk about a married couple, then the canonical rule does not impose such a ban on them, if only because, in fact, only one of the representatives of this couple, the one who corresponds to the gender of the child, is the godfather. And the parents of their own children cannot be godparents at the same time for the simple reason that the godfather enters into a spiritual relationship with both the child and, accordingly, with his parents. And, let’s say, the child’s natural mother cannot under any circumstances marry her son’s godfather, and his daughter’s natural father cannot marry the godmother under any circumstances, even if he is widowed. You cannot marry your godfather or marry your godfather. This is canonically prohibited.

Before the revolution, there was a practice of absentee godparents. If one of the recipients cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?

Before the revolution, there were many bad rules... Godparents still must be really present.

Some priests teach that according to church laws, a godfather cannot be the husband of the mother of the boy he baptized; and the godmother cannot be the wife of the father of the girl whom she baptized. It turns out that everything else is allowed, for example: godfather and godfather can get married and get married?

It is not some priests who say this, but canon law. Godfather and godfather can get married and get married. In the 19th century there was an explanation from the Holy Synod that this is not forbidden. Although there is a pious Russian tradition not to do this, but to take a godmother and godfather from different families... But again, if we turn to canon law, then there are no prohibitions on this. This is a principle of popular piety that can be observed. But if this principle is violated, it’s okay.

The rector of the Elias Church, Archpriest Alexander Britov, answers your questions.

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Consecration of the home

- I have long wanted to know how often it is necessary to bless the apartment where you live? And who should do this - a clergyman or can you do it yourself?

There is a rite of consecration of a house or dwelling, and this must be done by a priest who has the necessary knowledge and skills. Moreover, it is enough for a family to do this once in a lifetime. However, if some serious tragedy occurs, for example, someone commits suicide, then the rite of consecrating the house can be repeated.
There is also a tradition on the day of Epiphany (January 19), when water is blessed, to bring holy water home and consecrate your home with it. You can do this yourself. There is also an ancient tradition when parishioners invite a priest on the days of Christmastide and Bright Week for holiday congratulations (Glorification) and a brief rite of consecration of the home.

Donation

- I would like to know how the Orthodox Church views organ donation after a person’s death?

The Church has its own opinion on this problem. The Russian Orthodox Church has long formulated its attitude towards the intravital and posthumous removal of organs for transplantation. In 2000, the Council of Bishops adopted the Fundamentals of the Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church. In principle, we do not deny the possibility of using organs if it is necessary to save another person - posthumous donation of organs and tissues can become a manifestation of love that extends beyond death. This kind of donation or bequest cannot be considered the responsibility of a person. Therefore, the voluntary lifetime consent of the donor is a condition for the legality and moral acceptability of explantation.

Cremation of the dead

- Due to my age, I’m thinking about a funeral. And I would like to know how the Orthodox Church views cremation?

In general, the church has a negative attitude towards cremation. However, there are circumstances when cremation cannot be avoided. For example, in large cities where burial in a cemetery is not possible. That is, in extreme cases, when there is no other option, cremation is also possible, but after the funeral service. But then nothing remains of a person except ashes. According to Christian custom, the deceased must be buried in a cemetery. The Church's teaching on life after death says that there will be a resurrection when all the dead will be resurrected and resurrected in the body. Therefore, Orthodox Christians have a special attitude towards the body of the deceased: it is ennobled and decorated before the funeral.

Is it possible to choose a Catholic as a godparent?

- My baby is due to be born soon and then I will baptize him in church (I was baptized in Orthodox Church), and in this regard I have a question:I have only one friend, like my own sister, whom I want to see as my child’s godmother, but she is a Catholic. Can I choose her as my godmother?

There is no Eucharistic communion between our Churches, that is, there is no joint communion, although we consider baptism valid.

There is a way out - for your friend to join the Orthodox Church by turning to a priest to perform the Sacrament of Repentance, provided that she has already received confirmation (confirmation) in her church. If not, then first perform the Rite of Confirmation.

What to do if it is not possible to choose two godparents?

- Hello, please tell me, is it possible to baptize a daughter if there is only a godfather?

It is possible to baptize a child. However, the following must be taken into account:

If you are raising your daughter alone, then in the future you cannot create your own family with your godfather.

When a girl grows up, questions will arise that children are embarrassed to discuss with their parents, so a godmother is preferable for a girl, and a father is preferable for a boy. To be there at that moment and, if possible, explain everything correctly.

When choosing a godfather for your child, we need to know the main conditions:

Future godparents must be baptized in the Orthodox Church;

It is very good if they regularly confess and receive communion - orat least ready to change their lives according to God’s commandments (this is already within the competence of the priest, after an interview with them).

Godfather (recipient) is a witness in the Sacrament of Baptism, a guarantor for the faith of the person being baptized, obligated to instruct him in the rules of Christian life. The custom of having recipients at Baptism dates back to the most ancient Apostolic Tradition.By agreeing to become a Godfather, we must realize that we are accepting certain obligations to the godson, parents, and God.

Godparents have (conditionally) 3 main responsibilities towards their godchildren:

Prayer - the godfather is obliged to pray for his godson, and also teach him to pray so that the godson himself can communicate with God and ask Him for help in all his life circumstances.

Doctrinal - to teach the godson the basics of the Christian faith, i.e. the law of God.

Moral - by his example, the godfather must teach human virtues - love, kindness, mercy, honesty, so that his godson grows into a true Christian.

Before parents, in the event of a tragedy in the child’s family, be ready to adopt, that is, to be a close friend of the family.

Before God - do not be a temptation “Woe to him through whom they come (Luke 17:1).”

Through the Sacrament of Baptism, we enter into a close spiritual relationship with our godchildren and their parents - we are close relatives.

On the commemoration of deceased drug addicts

Please answer, when and how can a deceased drug addict be remembered? They say they are classified as suicides?

Drug addiction is a disease. If death occurs as a result of a deliberate overdose, it is suicide. Everyone who cares about him needs to pray; you cannot submit a note to the altar. Your own pious life and alms, how you can help this person. If the body cannot withstand it because a person cannot cope with passion on his own, then, if confirmed by medical certificates, with the blessing of the ruling bishop, it is possible to perform a funeral service.

Do I need to take a blessing for fasting?

- I just recently started fasting. I read everywhere that Lent very difficult and for all posts you need to ask the priest for blessings. Is it necessary to do this?

There is no need to take a personal blessing. But a priest can help you spend your fasting time correctly without harming the health of your body and soul. Especially those who are just beginning spiritual exploits.

How to behave in a work team?

- I work in a fairly large organization. Most of my team is not bad, but there are also bad, envious, angry and gloating people. Please advise what prayer should I read and how to behave?

We are not born envious and evil, and not all people can immediately overcome their passions and vices; sometimes they simply do not notice them and do not understand that they need to be different. Others are aware, but it is impossible to correct themselves immediately - after all, this painstaking work. The team itself gathers for a reason. Someone, someone is sent by the Lord for admonition. We must learn to be in different societies without losing our Christian dignity, maintaining patience, respect, goodwill, while maintaining subordination and avoiding familiarity.

There is no need to look for a special prayer, it is enough to follow the rule that was set for you by the priest who confesses you.The science is to ensure that we do not fall into these spiritual traps, that we do not fall into anger, gloating, or envy.

Can suicide be “destined”?

- Hello! Tell me, please, can suicide be written into a person’s destiny? And if not, then how to ask God for death? If I feel that I can’t fix anything in this life... I’ve made too many mistakes, I’ve made too many enemies...

No, he can not. A person is inclined to this thought due to the obsession of Satan, in whose network a person has fallen for his wrong actions. But there is nothing that cannot be corrected, with God’s help. The Sacrament of Confession gives a believer a chance to start all over again, but now with God. And it doesn’t matter what mistakes were in the past. Do not rush to make quick conclusions and conclusions, give God the opportunity to return you to a full life.

Can a godfather marry his godson's mother?

- My friend has an interesting situation, he doesn’t know how to deal with it.The question is: is he the godfather of the child? The child's mother is divorced. Have there ever been such cases in your practice when the child’s mother married her godfather? The godfather's explanation is that, taking on the role of a second father, he would like to give more to the child than just godparents.How does the Church view this?

Through the Sacrament of Baptism, we enter into a close spiritual relationship with our godchildren and their parents - we are close relatives. This kinship, by a circular decree of the Holy Synod of January 19, 1810 (based on the 53rd rule of the VI Ecumenical Council), was recognized as an obstacle to marriage between a godfather and his goddaughter and her mother. TOAs a priest, I cannot bless such a relationship, much less marry it!In your case, your friends think more about themselves than about the child.

How to relieve yourself of the responsibility of a godfather?

- Good afternoon, I am godfather. In the family where he livesboy, lies and depravity reign, I don’t want to be his godfather anymore. Howtake it off? I will never see this child again and I will never be able to look at him.influence in life. Please answer, this is a very important question for me.

The status of godfather is a special position. You are responsible for those entrusted to you child. Accordingly, these are obligations to God, to parents and the child himself. Godparents have 3 main responsibilities towards their godchildren:

Prayer - the godfather is obliged to pray for his godson, and also to teach himself to pray so that the godson himself could communicate with God and ask Him forhelp in all your life circumstances.

Doctrinal - to teach the godson the basics of the Christian faith.

Moral - by example, the godfather should teach peoplevirtues - love, kindness, mercy, honesty, so that his godsongrew up to be a true Christian.

The godfather must be ready to adopt the child in the event of a tragedy in the family, means trying not to move away no matter what life situations didn't add up.In many families in different periods there is a relationship crisis. I do not know whathappened to you, but you can’t judge it right away. On your part it is necessarytry to prevent lies from affecting the child, but adults themselves mustIt’s better to figure it out with God’s help. To do this you need to convince themprepare for confession, after which it will immediately become clear where to start.

Search line: godparents

Records found: 234

Is it possible to take a Muslim as a godparent?

Maria

It is forbidden. Only an Orthodox Christian, and not just a baptized one, but one who fulfills Christian vows, knows the doctrine, and is a member of the church.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello. I gave birth to a child 4 months ago. And it so happened that I urgently needed to find a godfather. Until recently, I didn’t want to take this guy as my godfather, because I considered him as a potential future young man. My mother is a believer, and she really hurried this event so that he could receive communion, give notes and the like. And there was very little time left before baptism. So I asked my friend to become godfather. Several months passed, I realized that I have feelings for him, and he loves me too. And I’m a little confused, the godparents renounced each other, and relations between them are prohibited. And the godfather and mother of his godson? What to do about it? Can a godfather marry his godson's mother?

Veronica

Hello Veronica. Godparents are called "fathers" because they perceive the baby from the font, and perceive a measure of responsibility for him. The recipient must be of the same sex as the child. The boy is a man, the girl is a woman. There are no two receivers. But, if according to folk tradition there were two - “father” and “mother” godparents, then they do not enter into any relationship with each other. The first degree of spiritual relationship is established only between the recipient and the baby. The second degree of spiritual relationship is established between the recipient and the parents of the baby. The boy's successor cannot marry his mother. The second degree of relationship is the same as between siblings. No priest will bless such a marriage. Go to an appointment with the bishop.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello. Only the godfather and godmother were present at the son's baptism. serious reasons could not attend the baptism. Is it possible to give the child a godmother now, or is this not possible? Thanks for the answer.

Irina

Hello Irina. For the baptism of an infant, the charter requires only one recipient, of the same gender as the child. The boy is a man, the girl is a woman. Everything else - godparents "fathers" and "mothers" - is a folk invention.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello, is it possible to baptize a child on September 27, and do both godparents have to be present? Thank you.

Raisa

Hello, Raisa. Baptism can be performed on any day, and on the twelfth holiday too. But you need to agree in advance with the priest in the temple. Godparents must be present at the baptism; if only one came, the second is not recorded as a godparent, “in absentia.” God bless you.

Priest Sergius Osipov

My husband slept with our son’s godmother, the boy began to get sick very often, tell me, could this be connected, and how can this event affect his fate?

Natalia

Relatives and godparents should pray for the godson. And what kind of prayer books are they if they have not even repented of sin? Your boy is not responsible for the sins of adults. Pray yourself, take care of him.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello, father. Please tell me what to do. My cousin decided to baptize her son. She chose my daughter as a godfather, but she wants to choose my husband as a godfather, since she has no one to choose from among her relatives, and she does not want to take a stranger as a godfather. That is, the daughter and father are godparents, as I understand it, godmothers to each other. Or choose my brother’s godfather, but he is my daughter’s godfather. Those. The godfather and goddaughter will baptize the child. Can this be allowed?

Marina

There is no need to confuse the situation - a boy is being baptized, but for him only a godfather is enough.

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello, father. Please tell me what to do. My cousin decided to baptize her son. She chose my daughter as a godfather, but she wants to choose my husband as a godfather because she has no one to choose from among her relatives, and she does not want to take a stranger as a godfather. That is, the daughter and father are godparents, as I understand it, godmothers to each other. Or choose my brother’s godfather, but he is my daughter’s godfather. The godfather and goddaughter will baptize the child. Can this be allowed?

Marina

Hello, Marina. Godparents do not enter into any relationship with each other. According to the charter, and indeed the very essence of the doctrine of the institution of recipients, a baby should have, and in essence this is the case, only one recipient - the same sex as the child. The boy is a man, the girl is a woman. The recipient enters into a spiritual relationship with the child’s parents and with the child himself. In your case, your husband will be the recipient, and only he.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Good afternoon, father! I am a believer, I was baptized myself, i.e. As an adult, I consciously wanted this, but somehow lingered at the beginner level (I was baptized 5 years ago). I attend church services, but not often enough, and I rarely participate in the sacraments. Last time I took communion before the birth of my child 8 months ago. But despite this, my relatives, who never go to church at all, consider me a very church-going person and many want me to be the godmother of their children. But I understand that this is not just like that, and what a big responsibility it is, and that they will not take their children to communion, but live in another city, and it is unlikely that I will be able to participate in their spiritual education. How should I deal with these situations? Refuse? But how to do this gently so as not to offend? I think that not everyone will understand the reasons stated above, and they will decide that I simply don’t want to. Or agree? I read that godparents almost take on the sins of their godchildren. Save me, God!

Tatiana

Dear Tatyana, gradually becoming a church member, when you go to church with your child, you will be able to accept the invitation to become a godmother. Godparents, of course, do not take sins upon themselves, but, even if they are in another city, they pray for their godchildren. This is no small part in their growth in faith. God bless you!

Priest Sergius Osipov

Is it possible to take my godfather, whose child I baptized, as godparents?

Vova

Yes, Vladimir, you can.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello! My son will be 1 year old, is it possible to reschedule the celebration? And which of the godparents should conduct the tonsure ceremony, and is this obligatory?

Tanya

The Church does not provide for any "rite of tonsure", it is simply folk tradition. Godparents are involved in the spiritual education of the child: they pray for him, bring him to church to receive communion, talk about God and faith (according to age). Celebrating a birthday is also just a tradition that has nothing to do with the church. You can reschedule the celebration to a more convenient day.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Good afternoon I am baptized, but married to a Muslim, we don’t have children yet, but it was decided in advance that they would be raised in their husband’s religion. My question is, can I become a godmother under these circumstances? And if not, then what arguments should I give to the child’s parents in order to explain to them and not offend them with my refusal?

Julia

I wouldn't take you as godfather. Not because you are married to a Muslim, not because your husband insists on your children being Muslim. But because your soul doesn’t hurt and your heart doesn’t cry because of this... What kind of Christian are you?

Archpriest Maxim Khizhiy

Hello, I have two children, a boy and a girl, both unbaptized. I myself am Georgian, and I live in Krasnodar, baptized in Georgia. The godparents of the children will be an Armenian family, husband and wife. They are baptized in the Armenian Orthodox Church. Could any misunderstandings arise if we baptize in the Russian Orthodox Church?

Vladimir

Hello, Vladimir. They will definitely arise. Firstly, both the Georgian and Russian Churches are in canonical communion and are Orthodox, while the Armenian Church is not. The recipients must be Orthodox. Secondly, in case your friends decide to convert to Orthodoxy, spouses cannot be godparents of one child at the same time. They will have to be “divided”: the woman will be the successor of the girl, and the man will be the successor of the boy.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Is it possible to take a godmother if she is only twelve years old?

Natalia

Natalya, godparents are needed, first of all, to instruct your godson in the faith, take him to church, teach him to pray, etc. Children under 14 years of age cannot become godparents, since they are not yet capable of fully performing the duties of a godparent.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello! We applied for marriage registration on September 27, 2014, without a wedding. Is it possible to have a wedding on this day after registration?

Irina S

Irina, September 27 is the day of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. This is a fast day on which we remember the suffering of our Savior on the cross, His sacrifice for the sins of all people. For Orthodox man having fun and walking on such a day is unacceptable. I would advise you to sign and postpone the wedding celebrations to the wedding day.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Good afternoon, father, tell me how I should react to my husband’s relatives? We live well with my husband, after marrying him, I changed my faith, adopted Christianity, I feel very good in this faith. My godfather is my husband’s uncle, I loved them all very much, but it turned out that my godfather, along with other relatives, began to spread rumors about me: either I was a thief, or something else, I experienced everything very painfully, especially from my godfather . My husband rushed between me and my relatives, but I never interfered with their communication. After some time, my godparents realized how they offended me and asked for forgiveness. I told them that I didn’t hold any grudges in any way, and I was pleased that we began to communicate as before, amicably! But then again something happened, I don’t know, my godfather called my father-in-law (my parents and I live on the same property) and told me that I was casting a spell on my father-in-law in order to get them out of the world faster, now my father-in-law is afraid of me, avoids me, my doesn't eat the treats and says he really feels like I'm doing something. Father, I’m pregnant, and I’m very afraid of all sorts of witchcraft. I don’t know how to behave. How can I prove that I am very afraid of God’s punishment and have not done anything wrong? How can a godfather not be ashamed to talk about his pregnant goddaughter?! Tell me how to behave, I can’t be nervous, but such conversations go beyond all limits!

felothea

Hello, Felofea. Don't prove anything to anyone. Take care of your health. Walk more, eat fruit. Stop all such conversations immediately with the words: “I won’t listen to such words, pregnant women can only talk about good things,” and smile! God bless.

Priest Sergius Osipov

Is it possible to be a godfather twice?

Alexander

Alexander. Being a godfather is a great responsibility before God for your godchildren. Godparents are obliged to pray for them and take part in their Orthodox upbringing. You can be a godfather to many people, but you must then pray for them all.

Hieromonk Victorin (Aseev)

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