An important component communicative communication is ability to ask questions.
Questions are a way to obtain information and at the same time a way to switch the thoughts of the person with whom you are talking in the right direction (whoever asks questions controls the conversation).
With the help of questions, we build a bridge for ourselves into the unknown and uncertain. And since uncertainty and the unknown are characteristic in the modern, rapidly changing world, developing the ability to ask questions is very relevant.
“Sorry for the misunderstanding, I didn’t understand you correctly” is a phrase that can often be heard in conversations between people. So, so that you don’t have to say it, learn to ask questions correctly. A correctly posed question, allowing you to find out your partner’s intentions, helps to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. After all, sometimes, neglecting the opportunity to ask a question, or not asking it in right time, we open the way to guesses and conjectures, various speculative constructions, create the wrong impression about others, attributing to them non-existent qualities, advantages and disadvantages, which often leads to misunderstandings and conflicts.
No matter who you are, a leader or an ordinary manager, a coach or a psychologist, in any area of life you will need the ability to ask questions correctly. In any conversation, both business and personal, the right questions help:
- Show interest in the personality of the partner and interlocutor;
- Ensure “mutuality,” that is, make your value system understandable to your interlocutor, while simultaneously clarifying his system;
- Receive information, express doubts, show your own position, show trust, be interested in what is being said, show condescension and show that you are ready to devote the necessary time to the conversation;
- Seize and maintain the initiative in communication;
- Change the conversation to another topic;
- Move from the interlocutor’s monologue to dialogue with him.
To learn how to ask questions correctly, you need to pay attention to the correct construction of internal dialogue and study the main types of questions in external dialogue.
INTERNAL DIALOGUE(questions to yourself) organizes our own thinking and helps us formulate thoughts. The relevance and quality, precision and consistency of the questions that arise in our minds greatly influence the effectiveness of most of the actions we take.
In order to organize internal dialogue one must understand that its purpose is to analyze any of the problems. A set of relevant questions will help to comprehensively analyze any problem (situation). There are two options for questions.
The first option is seven classic questions:
What? Where? When? Who? How? Why? By what means?
These seven questions cover problematic situation entirely, and perform its verbal and logical analysis.
The second option for analyzing the situation is a set of six questions:
- Facts - What facts and events are relevant to the situation in question?
- Feelings - How do I generally feel about this situation? How do others supposedly feel?
- Desires - What do I really want? What do others want?
- Obstacles - What is stopping me? What is stopping others?
- Time - What should be done and when?
- Tools - What tools do I have to solve this problem? What means do others have?
Use any of the two options when organizing an internal dialogue. When a problem arises, analyze the situation by asking yourself questions, bring your thoughts to clarity, and only then begin to act.
Importance and significance EXTERNAL DIALOGUE, is asking the right questions, which are much better than a monotonous monologue. After all, the one who asks is the leader in the conversation. Also, with the help of questions, we show the interlocutor our interest in the conversation and in deepening it. By asking, we express to the person the desire to establish with him a good relationship. But all this happens when the conversation does not resemble or look like an interrogation.
Therefore, before starting a conversation or business conversation, prepare a series of questions for your interlocutor, and ask them as soon as you move on to the business part of the conversation (in a normal conversation, as soon as you touch on the topic you need). This will give you a psychological advantage.
Questions of external dialogue can be posed in specific forms and are of the following types:
Closed questions. The purpose of closed questions is to obtain an unambiguous answer (the agreement or refusal of the interlocutor), “yes” or “no”. Such questions are good only when it is necessary to clearly and clearly determine the presence of something in the present, past, and sometimes in the future (“Are you using this?”, “Have you used this?”, “Do you want to try?”), or attitude towards something (“Did you like it?”, “Are you satisfied with this?”) in order to understand how to proceed. Closed questions (and yes or no answers) shift our efforts in a specific direction.
You should not immediately push a person by asking such questions to make a final decision. Remember that it is easier to convince than to convince.
It's another matter when you deliberately ask a closed question, which is difficult to answer with a negative. For example, referring to generally accepted values (Socrates often used a similar method): “Do you agree, life does not stand still?”, “Tell me, is quality and guarantees important to you?” Why is this done: the more often a person agrees with us, the wider the zone of mutual understanding (this is one of ways of manipulation). And vice versa, if you can’t pick up correct question, and often hear “no” in response to leading questions, the likelihood of your proposal being rejected as a whole increases. Therefore, achieve agreement on small things, do not start the conversation with contradictions, then it will be easier to achieve the desired result.
Open questions. They do not imply a definite answer, make a person think, and better reveal his attitude to your proposal. Open questions are good way getting a new one, detailed information, which is very difficult to obtain using closed questions. Consequently, in conversation it is necessary to use open questions more often, in their various variations.
Ask for facts that will help you understand the situation: “What is available?”, “How much?”, “How is it decided?”, “Who?” etc.
Find out the interests of your interlocutor and the conditions for satisfying them.
Find out your interlocutor’s attitude to the situation under discussion: “What do you think about this?”, “How do you feel about this?”
Suggest, in the form of questions, another (your) solution to the problem: “Can we do it this way..?”, “Why don’t we pay attention to such and such an option..?”, while arguing your proposal. This is much better than openly saying: “I propose...”, “Let’s do it better this way...”, “I think...”.
Be interested in what your interlocutor’s statement is based on: “Where are you coming from?”, “Why exactly?”, “What is the reason for this?”
Clarify everything that is unclear to you: “What (how) exactly?”, “What exactly..?”, “Because of what?”.
Find out unaccounted for points, both personal and business: “What did we forget?”, “What issue did we not discuss?”, “What was missed?”,
If there are doubts, clarify their reasons: “What’s stopping you?”, “What worries you (doesn’t suit you)?”, “What is the reason for the doubts?”, “Why is this unrealistic?”
Characteristics of open questions:
- Activation of the interlocutor, such questions force him to think about the answers and express them;
- The partner, at his own discretion, chooses what information and arguments to present to us;
- With an open question, we bring the interlocutor out of a state of restraint and isolation and eliminate possible barriers to communication;
- The partner becomes a source of information, ideas and suggestions.
Since, when answering open questions, the interlocutor has the opportunity to avoid a specific answer, divert the conversation aside, or share only information that is beneficial to him, it is recommended to ask basic and secondary, clarifying and leading questions.
Main questions– are planned in advance, can be either open or closed.
Secondary or follow-up questions- spontaneous or planned, they are asked to clarify already stated answers to basic questions.
Clarifying questions require short and concise answers. They are asked in case of doubt in order to clarify the nuances. People are almost always willing to delve into the details and nuances of their affairs, so there is no problem here. Unless we ourselves often neglect to ask clarifying questions, while our interlocutors are just waiting for this from us in order to make sure that we have understood everything correctly. Don't be shy and don't forget to ask clarifying questions!
Suggestive questions These are questions whose content makes a certain answer obvious, i.e. are formulated in such a way as to tell a person what he should say. It is recommended to ask leading questions when you are dealing with timid and indecisive people, to summarize the conversation, or if the interlocutor has started talking and you need to return the conversation to the right (business) direction, or if you need to confirm the correctness of your judgment (belief in the profitability of your proposal) .
Leading questions sound extremely intrusive. They almost force the interlocutor to admit the correctness of your judgments and agree with you. Therefore, they must be used extremely carefully.
In order to know how to ask questions correctly, you need to have an idea of all kinds of these issues. Using questions of all types in business and personal conversations allows you to achieve various goals. Let's look at the main types of questions:
Rhetorical questions are asked in order to evoke the desired reaction in people (to gain support, focus attention, point out unresolved problems) and do not require a direct answer. Such questions also enhance the character and feelings in the speaker’s sentence, making the text richer and more emotional. Example: “When will people finally learn to understand each other?”, “Can what happened be considered a normal phenomenon?”
Rhetorical questions must be formulated in such a way that they sound short and concise, relevant and understandable. Silence in response serves as approval and understanding here.
Provocative questions are asked with the aim of causing a storm of emotions in the interlocutor (opponent), so that the person, in a fit of passion, reveals hidden information or blurts out something unnecessary. These are provocative questions clean water manipulative influence, but sometimes it is also necessary for the benefit of the matter. Just don’t forget, before asking such a question, to calculate all the risks associated with it. After all, by asking provocative questions you are to some extent challenging.
Confusing questions transfer attention to the area of interest of the questioner, which lies aside from the main direction of the conversation. Such questions are asked either unintentionally (if you are interested in the topic of conversation, you should not ask about things that have nothing to do with it) or deliberately out of a desire to solve some of your own problems, to direct the conversation in the direction you need. If, in response to your confusing question, the interlocutor asks you not to be distracted from the topic under discussion, do so, but note that you want to consider and discuss the topic you stated at another time.
Also, confusing questions are asked with the aim of simply avoiding the topic of conversation, either because it is not interesting (if you value communication with this person, you should not do this), or it is inconvenient.
Relay questions- are aimed at being proactive and require the ability to grasp your partner’s cues on the fly and provoke him to further reveal his position. For example: “Do you mean by this that...”.
Questions to demonstrate your knowledge. Their goal is to show off their own erudition and competence in front of other participants in the conversation, and to earn the respect of their partner. This is a kind of self-affirmation. When asking such questions, you need to be truly, and not superficially, competent. Because you yourself may be asked to give a detailed answer to your own question.
Mirror question contains part of a statement spoken by the interlocutor. It is asked that a person see his statement from the other side, this helps to optimize the dialogue, give it genuine meaning and openness. For example, to the phrase “ Never assign this to me again!", the question follows - " Shouldn't I instruct you? Is there anyone else who could handle this just as well?»
The “Why?” question used in in this case, would call defensive reaction, in the form of excuses, justifications and a search for imaginary reasons, and could even end in accusations and lead to conflict. The mirror question gives a much better result.
Alternative question given in the form open question, but contains several answer options. For example: “Why did you choose the profession of an engineer: deliberately, followed in the footsteps of your parents, or decided to enroll for a campaign, together with a friend, or maybe you yourself don’t know why?” Alternative questions are asked to activate the taciturn interlocutor.
A question that fills the silence. good the right question You can fill an awkward pause that sometimes arises in a conversation.
Calming Questions have a noticeable calming effect on difficult situations. You should be familiar with them if you have small children. If they are upset about something, you can distract them and calm them down by asking a few questions. This technique works immediately, because you have to answer questions, thereby being distracted. You can calm an adult in the same way.
Requires compliance with the following rules:
Brevity is the soul of wit. The question should be short, precise and clear. This increases the likelihood of a response to it. When you start complex, lengthy arguments, go far from the topic, you may even forget what exactly you wanted to ask about. And your interlocutor, while you are posing your question for five minutes, is wondering what exactly you want to ask him about. And it may happen that the question remains unheard or misunderstood. If you really want to come from afar, let the explanation (backstory) be heard first, and then a clear and short question.
So that after your questions your interlocutor does not have the feeling that he is under interrogation, soften them in intonation. The tone of your question should not show that you are demanding an answer (of course, unless this is a situation where you have no other choice), it should sound in a relaxed manner. Sometimes it will be right to ask the person you are talking to, ask permission - “Can I ask you a few questions to clarify?”
The ability to ask questions is inextricably linked with the ability to listen to your interlocutor. People are very responsive to those who listen to them carefully. And they will treat your question with the same degree of care. It is also important not only to show your culture and interest, but also not to miss information that may serve as a reason for clarifying questions or for adjusting what has already been prepared.
Most people, for various reasons, are not ready to answer direct questions (some have difficulty in presenting, others are afraid to convey incorrect information, some do not know the subject well enough, others are limited by personal or corporate ethics, the reason may be reticence or shyness, etc. . P.). In order for a person to give you an answer no matter what, you need to interest him, explain to him that answering your questions is in his interests.
You shouldn’t ask a question that starts with the words: “How could you...?” or “Why don’t you...?” Correct question This is a request for information, but not as a hidden accusation. When the situation requires you to express dissatisfaction with your partner’s actions, it is better to firmly but tactfully tell him about it in an affirmative form, rather than in the form of a question.
So, having learned how to ask questions correctly, you can get the (professional) information you need from your interlocutor, understand and get to know him better, find out his position and motives for his actions, make your relationship with him more sincere and trusting (friendly), activate him for further cooperation, and also discover weak sides and give him the opportunity to figure out what he is wrong about. It’s clear why psychologists often talk about art rather than ability to ask questions.
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The Russian language is on the list of the most difficult languages. It has several cases and tenses, a unique sentence structure and many parts of speeches that may seem simply “magical” to foreigners.
Also in primary school, students go through the topic “Words that cannot be questioned.” Consideration of this paragraph takes place in the second grade, when students study parts of speech.
Parts of speech of the Russian language:
1. Noun. It confirms the answers to questions about the subject.
2. Adjective. It is responsible for the qualitative component of the object, its properties.
3. Verb. He is responsible for the actions of objects.
4. Pronoun. This is a part of speech that shows us objects and their quantity. But he doesn’t say the title or name.
5. Numerals. They count objects, years.
All these parts of speech are independent, that is, you can ask a question about them, they do not depend on each other. Sentences are made from these parts of speech. They may not be included in the sentences all together, but from each of them it is built.
In addition, in the Russian language there are a number of words (parts of speech) that cannot exist on their own. They do not “know how” to construct sentences, but only complement them. They give them a secondary coloring, for example, they express emotions or indicate the place or affiliation of an object.
Words that cannot be asked questions:
· Interjections.
· Prepositions.
· Particles.
Pretext is a particle of speech that is dependent (functional). It links words together in a sentence or phrase. Prepositions are not used by themselves.
They can be simple, derived and compound. Examples:
Simple prepositions: We went outside with my brother.
Compound prepositions: The mouse crawled out from under the floor.
Derivative prepositions: In the course of time he came to the pier.
Union– a dependent part of speech that connects several sentences in one. As a rule, conjunctions are used in complex sentences.
Types of this functional part of speech:
Coordinating and subordinating conjunctions: He was a very handsome boy, but his character was disgusting.
To them, just like to a preposition, you cannot ask a specific question.
Particles- add some color to sentences or serve for word formation. Types of particles:
1) Formative non-independent parts of speech. They create new forms of words.
2) Negative particles.
3) Particles showing a condition or sign.
4) Modal particles.
Examples: This is exactly what my mother was thinking about when she sewed buttons on her coat.
Aren't you interested in knowing the result?
No need for unnecessary phrases.
Interjections- words or phrases that are necessary to express emotions, pointing to them, but not naming them.
Thanks to this part of speech, you can show any emotion in a sentence. For example, to show that a person is very surprised, but without using the word surprise itself.
With the help of interjections, you can clearly indicate what a person is experiencing at the moment, it can be anger, pain, joy, confusion.
There are five types of questions in English. Let's take a closer look at each of them together. Each of the five types of interrogative sentences has its own word order, which you need to remember in order to learn how to ask questions correctly.
1. Question to the subject
In a sentence of this type, we maintain direct word order, leaving all members of the sentence in their places. You just need to find the subject in the sentence and replace it with a suitable question word, i.e. a question to which the subject answers: either Who? -who?, or What? -What? A question to the subject does not require the use of an auxiliary verb in the present and past tense. You just need to remember that the verb-predicate in the present tense takes the third person singular form.
Google shortcode
What forced you to do this? – What forced you to do this?
What made you worry? -What made you worry?
Who works in this office? – Who works in this office?
Who traveled to the south? – Who traveled south?
Who likes swimming? – who likes to swim?
2. General question
In this case, the question is asked to the entire sentence, there is no question word in this case, and the answer is always unambiguous: either “yes” or “no.” Questions of this type are also known in English as “yes / no question”. To translate such a sentence from Russian into English, you need to remember the following word order: Auxiliary verb (depending on the number of the subject and what grammatical tense the sentence belongs to) – subject – predicate – minor members.
Do you often go shopping? – Yes, I do – Do you go shopping often? - Yes
Does she like studying? - No, she doesn’t - Does she like studying? - No
Is this film interesting? – yes, it is – is this film interesting? - Yes
Are you hungry? - no, I am not - are you hungry? - No
Notice how easy it is to pose a general question to English declarative sentences. You just need to find the subject, choose the appropriate auxiliary verb for it and put it at the beginning of the sentence.
We live in a comfortable flat – Do we live in a comfortable flat?
He studies at a college – Does he study at a college?
They usually come here - Do they usually come here?
This student is very prospective – is this student very prospective?
My favorite colors are red and white – are my favorite colors red and white?
3. Alternative question
This question can be asked to each member of the sentence and you need to follow the same word order as when posing general issue, but with one feature - the proposal implies a choice between two persons, objects, actions or qualities and requires the use of the conjunction “or”. Let's pose an alternative question to the following sentence: We finished cooking dinner at 2 o’clock - we finished cooking dinner at 2 o’clock.
Did we finish cooking dinner at 2 or 3 o’clock? – did we finish cooking dinner at 2 or 3 o’clock?
Did we finish cooking or eating dinner 2 o’clock? – Have we finished cooking or is there lunch at 2 o’clock?
4. Special question
A special question is asked to any member English sentences and requires the use of a question word, and the word order is also reversed: in the first place (When? What? Where?, etc.) - an auxiliary verb (depending on the number of the subject and what grammatical tense the sentence belongs to) - the subject – predicate – minor members.
When does your lesson begin? – When does your lesson start?
What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?
When did you buy this vase? – When did you buy this vase?
5. Dividing question
The presence of such a question in the English language allows you to unobtrusively ask about things of interest, and in addition express either doubt, surprise, or confirm what was said. A similar phrase is translated into Russian as “isn’t it? , is not it?". A similar question is divided into two parts: the first part is the sentence itself without changing the word order, the second part is a question consisting only of an auxiliary verb related to the grammatical tense of the sentence and a subject. If the sentence is affirmative, then the second part - the question - will be negative, and if the sentence is negative, then, on the contrary, the question will not contain a negation.
Your sister is a student, isn’t she? – your sister is a student, isn’t she?
You are not busy, are you? – you are not busy, are you?
He goes to bed very late, does not he? — he goes to bed very late, right?
She doesn’t eat meat, does she? – She doesn’t eat meat, does she?
Knowing the rules, you can easily correctly compose any interrogative sentence. 
