One day scientists conducted an experiment. The baby was dressed in pink and blue flowers, and then asked passers-by in the park to nurse the baby. One pattern was observed in the behavior of the “nannies”: if the baby was mistaken for a girl, they addressed him with much more affectionate words and smiles. And if they thought that in front of them was a boy, then the participants in the experiment showed their feelings more restrained - especially the men. Thus, psychologists have clearly demonstrated the existence of one of the most common misconceptions associated with the difference in the upbringing of boys and girls. For some reason, many mothers and most fathers believe that you should not allow yourself “calf tenderness” and “lisping” with your son. Allegedly in this case he will not grow out of it a real man. But in reality, everything is exactly the opposite! It has been proven that among healthy babies of both sexes, boys are still born weaker, and they sometimes need affection to a greater extent than girls. In other words, in order for your son to grow up healthy and develop well, you need to kiss him, hug him as much as possible, and talk about your love. It is simply impossible to spoil a peasant with such treatment!
How to raise a boy: clothes
Of course, we won’t dress our sons in dresses. But during the first months of life, girls will not need them either. Until almost a year, the wardrobe of boys and girls differs only in color. Although even at this time, the little boys do not have to buy exclusively blue rompers and blouses. Treat yourself and your baby with clothes in all shades of the rainbow. Perhaps only pink is perceived as a “feminine” color. Recently, children's clothing manufacturers have been moving away from former stereotypes, and clothing for little men delights us with the brightness of colors. Don't be afraid of cheerful colors - infancy flies by so quickly... As sons grow older, they will have a much smaller choice of colors in their wardrobe. In general, clothes for boys are more democratic and practical than for girls. Firstly, the dress is not so easy to put on, because a child is not a doll. Secondly, if the children get dirty, then all the boy needs to do is change either his shorts or his T-shirt. But the dress needs to be washed completely. At the matinee in kindergarten you can dress the little gentleman in a white shirt and a formal suit with a bow tie. And having learned from your neighbor how much her daughter’s ball gown costs, you will breathe a sigh of relief that these expenses did not affect you.
How to raise a boy: toys
Don't limit yourself various types weapons and a fleet of cars, tractors and motorcycles. Probably, many parents will remember with what pleasure their sons pushed strollers while visiting the girls. Do you really think that from birth boys have an inherent need to play exclusively with “male” toys? Let me cite as an example a textbook case from pedagogical literature. On one of the islands in Pacific Ocean They discovered a tribe far from civilization. Researchers who studied the lives of Aboriginal people gave toys to the children. At first, both boys and girls became interested in dolls, cars, and pistols. But after some time, the toys were clearly divided: boys played with... dolls, and girls played with cars and pistols. Why? It turns out that matriarchy reigned in this tribe, and for women the main occupation was hunting, and for men - raising children. Our society has a different way of life, and children copy it. The task of parents is to diversify children's games. Do not rush to refuse dolls that are offered to you by friends whose daughters have already grown up. A doll is a fairly universal toy, and not only girls need it. By playing with a doll, a child learns to get along with other children; using the example of a doll, he seems to be acting out his own behavior. Also toys that are often ignored by parents of boys include toy furniture, dishes, kitchen utensils, marionette dolls. They are also needed for the development of my son. Special talk about toy weapons. Some fathers and mothers try not to buy shooters for their sons at all, trying to protect their children from aggressiveness. Indeed, in modern world Children are surrounded by a lot of evil, and the boys themselves are more reckless by nature. But since it is impossible to completely protect the baby from military toys, your task is to teach children to play correctly. When purchasing a toy, try to ensure that the gift stimulates not aggression in the child, but sports passion. Having chosen a gun with balls (voluminous but light) and a target, arrange a shooting accuracy competition. In summer best option- water gun.
As for cars, it is better to buy plastic ones. Children like metal ones more, but they are not safe for babies, as they are too heavy. And older boys have an irresistible desire to take them apart in order to get a good look at what’s inside? Don't scold the kids for this. Want to keep everything safe? To do this, fathers of young auto mechanics need to put things aside and start disassembling and assembling cars together with their children.
How to raise a boy: cleanliness
Teaching boys to put away their toys after playing is no more difficult than teaching girls. The main thing in this is patience and consistency. Just don't try to force your sons to clean up if the game is in full swing. They may even react aggressively, since boys are more impulsive and gambling.
How to raise a boy: living space
Blue, green, and turquoise colors should predominate in the nursery. Their energy balances the activity and impulsiveness of children. If your son is phlegmatic or melancholic by nature, add yellow and orange colors. If children have their own room, try to make it comfortable and safe. For boys, the most natural thing is a noisy game. Remove anything that restricts mobility (for example, mirrors, bedside tables, ottomans). Make room for a sports corner ( gymnastics complex, rope ladders, suspension ropes). This way, the kids’ energy will be directed in the right direction.
How to raise a boy: sports
A very obedient boy - the pride of his parents in the first years of his life. But it is unlikely that such a child will be able to become a full-fledged member of children's games. Stiffness leads either to lethargy and apathy, or to aggressiveness. Let your boys have fun! What to do if your son grows up uncontrollable and pugnacious? Give vent to his aggressively directed energy. Enroll the brawler in a sports section where he can realize his potential. Do not waste time on such useful endeavors. Sport is a long-term and profitable investment, as in terms of physical development, and character improvement. You can rest assured about your son when your child grows up. Difficulties of adolescence, dubious company - everything that is a real danger in the future will not affect your son if he is seriously interested in sports.
How to raise a boy: creativity
What if a child prefers to draw or write poetry? Often dads consider such activities not quite suitable for a real man. Don't distract children from creativity! Remember that our recognized artists and poets are mostly men.
How to raise a boy: a sense of humor
Cheerful man - happy man. Usually the ability to joke is inherited, but a sense of humor can also be developed. Read funny poems and stories to children. Turn trivial grievances and whims into jokes. Look at various life situations with humor - your kids will very soon begin to follow your example. Laughter is a natural and organic manifestation of a child’s feelings. A boy with a good sense of humor is always popular among his peers. Moreover, as a rule, he good health(as a result of positive emotions).
How to raise a boy: fathers and sons
Many mothers complain that their husbands do not want to raise children. This means that the time was lost when dads should have realized themselves as such. Fathers are not born - they become fathers if there is a wise woman nearby. Your task is, even during pregnancy, to lead your spouse to the idea that he has a leading role in raising a real man. The most important thing is that father-son interaction should begin in the first days of life, and not at 3-4 years, as many new dads believe. The key to successfully mastering fatherhood is your faith in your spouse’s teaching abilities. When the son is still tiny, there is no need to expect initiative from the head of the family. It is better to gently and quietly introduce a rule for him to perform some duty of care for the newborn, for example, bathing the child. The worst thing that can permanently discourage a dad from caring for his baby is constant monitoring and worries that he will do something wrong. Cast aside your fears and leave your men (big and small) alone with each other. In this situation, dads have a sharp increase in responsibility for their entrusted child. Encourage dads to take the initiative to spend free time with their sons. And don't blame them for the mess that arises as a result of such joint activities. Building a tower out of cubes, learning to ride a bicycle or roller skates - joint games unusually unite little men and big children - dads. Grown-up helpers will be interested in repairing a car in the garage on equal terms with dad, going fishing, playing football, and washing in a bathhouse. Show respect for “men’s” matters. The result will be the father-son bond that all mothers dream of. If you and your whole family go to the pool, don’t hesitate to send the boys and dad to the men’s shower. It’s very strange to see 5-6 year old boys under the care of their mother in a woman’s shower.
How to raise a boy: mothers and sons
1. Mom is “her boyfriend”
If as a child you treated playing with dolls with contempt, then the birth of sons was most likely perceived as a gift of fate. But when you completely dissolve in your sons, you forget about yourself as a woman. And for growing children it is so important to see their mother beautiful. After all, it is with the image of the mother that their ideas about the ideal woman are connected. Advice: dedicate the day off only to yourself, leaving your sons with your husband or grandparents. Go shopping, go to the hairdresser.
2. Uncle Fyodor's mother
Like the heroine of the cartoon “Three from Prostokvashino,” you consider yourself an exemplary mother, because your child is “clothed, shod, and fed.” Childish fun seems too tiresome to you to participate in. Let dad play with the baby. But the son can be proud: he has a beautiful, well-groomed mother. But the child misses communication with you! Talk to your child about his activities and friends, discuss what he is passionate about (for example, different brands cars).
3. Mom is an older friend
It would not occur to such a mother that she must bear the burden of household chores on her own - she has excellent helpers. Mom always has time to talk with her sons, read to them, and make some kind of craft. All children dream of such a mother... And every woman has the power to become her!
Yes, modern men increasingly disappoint women with their lack of real masculinity, inability to be responsible, indecisiveness, and desire to run away from problems. According to psychologists, all these male shortcomings are laid down in childhood by improper upbringing. Therefore, I propose to approach the issue of raising sons very seriously. Where will real men come from if we don’t raise them right?
Rules for raising a son in a full-fledged family - the role of the father in the formation of personality
Of course, the role of a woman during upbringing is more important, since it is the mother who spends time with the baby greatest amount of time , starting from the moment of his birth. A man, as the breadwinner and head of the family, must spend almost all his time on ensuring good income And comfortable life child and wife. Therefore, it turns out that a man’s role in raising his son becomes secondary.
There is an opinion that a man should be involved in the process of raising his son not from birth, but from from the age of three . Some fathers even consider raising a child not a man’s job. Of course, this is a misconception.
The role of the father in raising his son is extremely important.
In psychology there is such a concept as emotional intellect , the indicators of which will determine the success of a person in the future. Its origins begin in early age when the child is not yet a year old, and its level depends on the behavior of the parents and the method of education during this period of time. That's why great importance It has harmony in relationships between mom and dad. At the subconscious level, the baby absorbs into himself like a sponge, behavior scenario of one's own parents and how his character will be formed depends on the atmosphere that reigns in the family.
If a child grows up in conditions of love and harmony, then a positive and joyful picture . As he grows up he will perceive the world with love and desire disinterestedly convey this love to others, and as a result, will be a happy and prosperous person , will build a strong family in personal likeness.
It is very important that the father begins communicating with the child as early as possible and spends as much time as possible with him!
This will be the best investment building a strong masculine character baby. Father is obliged give your son maximum love and affection directly in the first days of its existence. Believe me, having missed this moment, in the future we will establish emotional contact it will be much more difficult for father and son.
There are several conditional rules that can be considered as a guide in the complex process of raising a real man:
Just don’t limit his interests to the “boyish” sphere. Hobbies in sewing, drawing, and cooking may develop his creative potential and make your son a recognized chef or fashion designer.
Of course, there is no single guide on how to raise a real man, and only parents can decide what rules are acceptable for raising their son.
Problems of female education of a boy in a dysfunctional family - how to raise a son from a man to a man in a women's team?
Don't believe those who claim that there is no full family defective boys grow up.
An incomplete family is not one where there is no one parent, but one where there is not enough parental love!
Of course, without a father there are additional difficulties and problems, but they can be solved.
This is what psychologists advise you to pay attention to if you are raising a son without a father:
- Despite the absence of dad, an example of masculine behavior in the life of a son should be . This could be a grandfather, uncle, brother, teacher, coach. The more men there are in your son's life, the better.
As an example, there may be brave heroes of books and films.
- The mother’s relationship with the opposite sex also plays a big role . The stiffness, discomfort, anxiety, and aggression that you may experience in the presence of men will be passed on to your child. In this case, it is better to limit yourself to communicating with one or two men, for example, a brother and a father, who are the most significant for you and for the child.
- Be an equal with your child . Don't babysit, but... Overly domineering mothers grow up with uninitiative children, while overprotective mothers run the risk of waiting for a rebellion at a certain age.
Boys who are emotionally dependent on their mothers do not separate from them even with age, and often live with their mothers for a very long time and cannot marry.
When raising a boy without a father, you need to be weak and feminine and at the same time calm, confident and strong in spirit. But don’t try to play both a female and a male role - just be yourself.
Features of raising a grandchild by grandparents, what difficulties will you have to face?
Sooner or later you will be faced with the desire of grandparents to take part in raising a grandchild. Sometimes, this desire is completely and completely monitor baby's development , or it happens that it is limited free consultations by phone. One way or another, to a greater or lesser extent, they will still have an impact on the development of the child.
What benefits does communication with the older generation give to children?
- Grandparents enrich their grandchildren emotionally , which parents often cannot do due to lack of time.
- Grandma can become a loyal and understanding friend a child in the world of adults who will always listen patiently, read a book, play, caress.
- Unconditional love grandparents in small doses is necessary for every baby.
What could be wrong with “grandmother’s” upbringing?
Both of these can lead to a trip to a gastroenterologist or even an allergist!
- Grandmothers also love to do everything for their grandchildren. . And this can lead to inertia and lack of initiative in a person’s life. A child raised in this way is unable to resist the flow and is completely dependent on life situation and loses faith in himself.
Is it possible to somehow influence such reckless behavior of grandparents?
To change the attitude of a loving grandmother towards her grandson, change your attitude towards her . For people of retirement and pre-retirement age, the needs for love, respect, recognition are sharply exacerbated, therefore give your parents the opportunity to satisfy them on you . Show that you care and give them the opportunity to express their feelings for you. This will make it easier for you to understand each other.
And to avoid disagreements in education, agree with grandparents on what is allowed and what is not allowed , daily routine, etc.
It is necessary to ensure that all family members adhere to the same line of upbringing, then most problems will be avoided.
Already at the stage of pregnancy, knowing that a long-awaited son will soon be born, every woman thinks about being a real man. It would seem that there is nothing complicated about this - according to prevailing stereotypes, for correct height and the formation of knowledge, the boy needs the attention of his father. And not just attention, but the direct participation of the parent in the child’s life. Modern psychology debunked the myth that only in a complete family is it possible to raise a real and strong man- he can be raised by both a married woman and a single mother.
Birth
When a baby is born, he needs all the love and care of his mother. Until conscious age, according to research, a child does not differentiate between people by gender, but by the first year of life he can easily determine where mom, dad, sister, uncle or other relatives and acquaintances are. From the moment of birth, a boy needs more heat and affection than for a newborn girl, since the little representatives of the stronger half of humanity are more vulnerable physically and psychologically. There is no need to limit communication with the baby - even at such a young age the child feels treated. While rocking your crying son in your arms, you should talk to him, reminding him that he is a man, he is strong and brave.
Growing up
When a boy turns three years old, communication with males becomes a necessity for him, and it doesn’t matter who it will be: dad, girlfriend’s husband or grandfather. For him, the main thing at this age is to comprehend and adopt all male behavioral qualities and habits. Hereby, at this stage of his development, he advises not to force the child to do anything at the request of the parents, against his will. This is fraught with the emergence of misunderstandings in the family, as well as the manifestation of personality complexes in the child at a more mature age.
From a boy to a man
A child, as he grows older and takes as a basis the behavioral characteristics of the representatives of the stronger sex around him from childhood, builds communication with peers and relatives. A boy's attitude towards women is formed thanks to his mother - she is the personification of femininity, beauty and home warmth. Looking at his mother, the baby on a subconscious level remembers her traits, both external and character, which in the future will be reflected in his preferences in choosing a life partner.
Can a mother raise her son on her own?
Many women, in an attempt to provide their father with care, often sacrifice themselves. At the same time, each of them finds excuses for their actions: “So what if my husband beats me/doesn’t work/drinks/cheats, but the boy has a father. To raise him into a man, he needs his father’s care.” Often such “care” manifests itself in the form of constant poking and prodding, since when disrespect is shown to a woman, one can hardly expect strong fatherly feelings from the husband. Men of this kind will not participate in raising the baby in any way, except, of course, for the conception itself; all concerns about it will fall entirely on the shoulders of women.
As a result, after long and painful attempts to correct the “careless dad” and a futile search for a compromise, the family breaks up. This pushes a woman with a young son to look for a new dad for the baby. Sometimes everything repeats itself in a circle, and in other cases only a few find good family man and father. You should not think that, having separated from her husband, a single mother will not be able to properly raise a boy - any adequate and loving mother can do this. To do this, you need to be guided by several simple rules communication with the child.
From the moment he becomes aware of the world around him, a mother must develop in her son responsibility for himself, his words and actions. Over time, the boy will begin to understand that what was promised must be fulfilled and mistakes corrected. You should explain to the child only in a calm, affectionate tone, without scandals or hysterics. It is important to remember that the baby must constantly be given the right to choose - this is the only way he will feel independent.
There is one more important aspect in how to raise a boy to be a real man: the son must feel his importance. But there is no need to cultivate egocentrism in him - such a person will grow up to be a “narcissist”, and his further adaptation will adult life will be significantly more difficult. Significance is not instilled on the scale of the universe (I am everything for this world), but only in relation to the mother. For example, when boarding public transport, a mother can ask her son to help her, or during a walk she turns to him with the words: “Take my hand, in case I fall, and you will hold me.”
Any mother should understand that communicating with males is vital for a child to become a successful and confident man. She is obliged to allow her son to see his father (if there is one) and spend time with him. At the same time, she should constantly be aware of all the events happening in his life, talk to him about it and help him solve problems. How to properly raise your son to be a real man? Become a friend for him, the best and closest. If there is a lack of male attention, a boy, naturally, after agreement with him, needs to be enrolled in any sports section - sport disciplines, helps the child adapt to society.
Parenting common mistakes
- An excess of love at a conscious age provokes a child’s incorrect perception of the world around him. Undoubtedly, it is possible and necessary to love and protect your child, but there must be moderation in everything. Mothers should prepare themselves in advance for the moment when their son grows up and starts a family. Some women are especially sensitive to the departure of a child from the parental home; they simply cannot come to terms with the fact that their beloved son is now doing without his mother.
- Cruel treatment and pressure from parents have never helped raise a strong and courageous man. Families that believe that shouting and assault, as well as the lack of the right to choose, are the norm produce downtrodden, shy and at the same time embittered guys with low self-esteem and disrespect for women. It is worth remembering that our children are a reflection of the “weather in the house” and the behavior of their parents.
- Lack of attention from both mother and father makes the future man withdraw into himself. Growing up, such boys become alienated; many of them, in order to force their parents to notice them, get involved with bad companies, begin to drink alcohol, drugs, and acquire various bad habits.
Future man: growing up in a complete family
Some mothers allow one very big mistake- worried about the health and safety of the newborn baby, they do not allow the father to fully enjoy communicating with him. It is the very first moment of meeting between father and son that is key point in how to raise a boy to be a real man. If a wife repeatedly refuses her husband’s desire to help with the baby, then future healthy communication between father and son may come to naught.
Mom and Dad
A mother should leave her child with her husband more often, encourage them to spend time together - organize various trips for their men, and send them fishing. In any conflict situations The mother needs to remain neutral, but at the same time remember to talk to the baby about his misdeeds.
How can a father raise a boy to be a real man? To do this, you need to be an example to him in everything, from your attitude towards your wife and ending with your position in society. The child intuitively senses whether dad loves mom and whether he respects her. Even if both parents try to create an image in front of their son ideal family, and for closed doors They are constantly quietly sorting things out - it will be difficult to raise a boy to be a real, mentally healthy member of society.
Books are the best assistants in the educational process
Many parents are looking for an answer to the question of how to raise a boy to be a real man. A book containing good old fairy tales helps to tell the child in detail about the role he occupies in life. Knights, heroes, princes, possessing remarkable strength, are always ready to come to the aid of the weaker sex - beauties bewitched by evil wizards.
The distribution of roles in each fairy-tale story allows us to clearly explain little boy that men are strong, heroic and selfless people. Thanks to fairy tales, a child’s subconscious is formed perfect image which he wants to strive for.
- Teach your child the rules of etiquette. It doesn’t matter at what age you start, the main thing is that from an early age he understands how to talk to elders, why women need to be helped, and how important the words spoken to him are.
- Explain to your son that all his emotions: fear, embarrassment, joy, sadness and sadness can and should be expressed in words.
- Teach your baby to order, let him help you around the house.
- Organize reading evenings, read good life stories and fairy tales to your son, and share your impressions with him.
- Teach your child how to lose correctly. While supporting him in his failures, tell the boy that one defeat is not a reason to give up and give up on your goal.
- Show him that showing affection is not weakness.
- Allow your child to help you and the people around you. Just allow it, don't force it.
- Encourage frequent communication between father and son.
- Throughout your pregnancy, support your spouse and talk to the baby growing under her heart. After he is born, try to spend as much time as possible next to him. It is at this stage that you will begin to understand how to raise a real man from a boy, using only your skills and love for the child.
- Find free time, try to be at home as much as possible - endless business trips and irregular working hours take away from your baby the precious childhood spent with dad.
- Show emotions more often. The love, laughter and tears associated with your son are not considered weakness. Looking at you, the boy will understand that there is nothing shameful in this.
- Be disciplined and set a daily routine for your child. How can he grow up to be a successful man? Make his day useful, help him solve his problems. Gently, without assault, establish discipline standards, while calmly and firmly insist on respect for yourself and your mother.
- Know how to have fun with your son. Joint leisure should bring joy to both the child and you.
In the modern world you can often hear that there are no real men, knights left. Many people believe that there are simply no men capable of heroism and self-sacrifice. Although this is not true and there are real, caring men, however, there really are not as many of them as we would like.
The modern education of boys in the last twenty to thirty years is to blame for this. Often boys are raised only by their grandmothers and mothers. Predominantly women work in kindergartens and schools. The boy simply has no role model. Father or grandfather, even if the boy grows up in a complete family, they are so busy with work or their own interests that they simply do not have enough time for their son or grandson. How to raise a boy if there is no man nearby? And mothers and grandmothers are so worried for their child, that they begin to limit the future adult, their protector, in everything. How often can you hear this concern on the street: “Don’t run, you’ll fall, hurt yourself, put down your bag - it’s heavy, and the like.”
As a result of such upbringing and hypertrophied care, a soft-bodied creature grows up, incapable of making its own decisions. But a man, first of all, must be able to solve problems and solve them correctly. How to raise a real man from a boy?
How to raise a boy to be a real man
Previously, in peasant families with many children In families, raising children was divided into three periods, each of which lasted seven years:
- Baby.
- Youth.
- Young man.
The first seven years of a child were considered an infant Despite this, children were already beginning to be taught to do housework. This was the first stage of education. Until the age of seven, a boy had to learn how to sit in the saddle and control a horse, herd cattle, and help his father in field and farm work.
From seven to fourteen years old, a boy, or as the youth was called then, already received own work housework, for which he was responsible to the family. At this age, boys were taught to plow the land, and were often sent to work for other people, for example, as shepherds or apprentices. Therefore, by the age of fourteen, the boy already knew how to do everything that adult men should be able to do: work in arable land, clean and look after livestock, go hunting and fishing, and was trained in some kind of craft.
In the last seven years, until the age of twenty-one, the young man honed his skills in his chosen business and became a groom, completely ready for an adult, family life, he could already be called a real man.
In the modern world, in cities, of course, no one teaches children to plow or look after livestock, but all people live in apartments or own homes and everyone has theirs household, to which children must be taught. How to properly raise a boy in the modern world?
Raising a child from birth to age three
Raising a boy is a very responsible process in which both mother and father must participate.
Mainly raising a child up to three years of age is the mother’s concern, but the father must take an active part in raising children. First of all, even very young boys should see their father’s care for the family . This includes heavy housework., such as repairing any things (furniture or household appliances), providing the family with provisions, and the young father must play with his son and teach him to help his mother, so that little son the concept of how an adult, real man behaves was laid down. By the age of three, the son is quite capable of helping his father or mother with simple household chores: supporting something or giving him a light tool.
Raising a boy from three to seven years old
By the age of three, children begin to understand their gender. How to raise a boy during this period? At this time, the example of the father is very important. From this age, little sons try to be like their father or grandfather. Their habits and actions are copied, and from now on the father becomes an authority for his son. Often a son wants to help his father in his affairs; a boy should never be denied this. Although the participation of a three to five year old son in work is more of a hindrance than a help. But the guy who received the proud title of father must be patient and be able to find such a task for his son so that little helper was able to complete it.
Between the ages of three and seven, you can see what interests and talents a child has. Perhaps the child knows how to choose a nice suit for himself or is interested in preparing food for the family . After all, such professions like a tailor or a cook are more masculine. History knows more male fashion designers than female ones.
Maybe the child is always making something out of children's construction set and when he grows up, he will become an engineer. If a child painted the wallpaper in the hallway, there is no need to scold him too much; apparently, he is an artist or an architect; you just need to buy him some drawing paper. Or maybe the baby is constantly drumming on pots and beating out a rhythm. Isn't this a musician? Even if the child is always eager to use the computer, this cannot be prohibited; he is probably a future programmer.
At this age, parents often face the problem of child disobedience. It is very important to understand and distinguish when a child makes random mistakes, and when he does not listen to teachers on purpose, out of stubbornness or out of spite. If the baby does something wrong due to ignorance, then you need to calmly explain and point out to him his mistakes. Under no circumstances should you humiliate or present the child as a stupid, unreasonable person. This behavior of the parents will lead to resentment and complexes, it may even alienate the child and the boy will no longer turn to his mother or father with his questions, but will go to look for answers elsewhere, for example, on the street.
If a child deliberately disobeys, then you need to find out the reasons for bad behavior:
Based on these reasons for the wrong behavior of the child, it is necessary to adjust the processes of education. Give the future man the opportunity to make his own decisions, communicate more with parents and other children. Don’t let your child do anything, as long as he doesn’t cry and monitor his health.
The word cannot be used as rarely as possible and denote a real threat to the child. If something is impossible, then it is never possible. It should not be that today it is possible, but tomorrow it is not possible, or the mother allows something, but the father prohibits the same action. Parents should never pay attention to a child’s hysteria; the baby must learn to understand that he will not achieve anything by screaming and yelling. Certainly, if a child yells on the street or in another public place , then we must try to switch his attention. In the store, you need to ask the capricious person to help collect goods in the basket; on the street, you can draw the fidget's attention to birds, cats, dogs or other objects so that the child forgets what he was rowing about.
It is very important that the little person understands the cause-and-effect relationships of his bad behavior . When a child starts throwing his toys around and at the same time, you don’t have to scream and immediately run and bring these toys to the baby, they need to be collected and put away. He should know that if he threw something away, it is no longer there. Deprivation of toys in this case will already be a punishment for the baby. When children refuse to eat, there is no need to persuade, you need to make it clear to the child that if he does not eat breakfast now, then he will not receive anything from food until lunch.
Under no circumstances should you engage in assault. There is a saying: “when words run out, fists come into play,” that is, if a parent begins to beat his child, it is not the child’s fault, but the parent should reconsider his parenting methods. Physical assault on boys will establish in him the concept that whoever is stronger is right. According to this rule, boy and will grow, achieving its goal exclusively by force.
Basic laws of education
Start off proper upbringing According to these laws, it is necessary as soon as possible. In the old days they said that a child should be raised while he was lying across the bench. It is worth listening to the wisdom of our ancestors. It is impossible to develop in a family such a concept as child-centrism, when the whole family “dances” only around the interests of the child; one must always remember that it is not the flock that follows the cub, but the cub that follows the flock.
Difficult age from seven to fourteen years
The age when a boy gradually turns into a young man. At this age, boys are looking for male company and making friends. At this age, the mother becomes an example female image for son. It is very important that the mother begins to treat her son as an adult man. This is very difficult for many mothers, they are used to the fact that this is their little, beloved son, whom they carried, gave birth to, raised, and cannot accept the fact that their son has grown up.
It is during this period that the mother should begin treats his son differently. She must understand that her son is growing and turning into a man who will later start his own family. This does not mean that the mother should love her son less, but she should understand him and give him more freedom to accept the boy independent decisions. Not so much to give instructions as advice and not to forget to consult with your son yourself, letting him know that he is already an adult. Ask the child for basic help, for example, to bring groceries from the store, because a woman should not carry heavy objects, to give up her seat in transport, and the like.
The example of a father is also very important in the process of developing a son’s masculine character. If the father takes care of the family, listens to the wishes of the children, is ready to help at any time, is gallant towards his wife (mother), then my son will grow up the same way. But if there are constant scandals in the family and mutual reproaches, then most likely the boy will go looking for advice and help from friends on the street.
From the age of fourteen until the age of eighteen, the skills acquired by the boy are consolidated. Often, a fourteen-year-old teenager does not yet look like a young man and sometimes suffers from this, especially if the family has an older brother who already looks like an adult uncle. At this age, under no circumstances should you treat a boy as small, much less consider him stupid. By the age of eighteen, the son had grown up, and how he grew up depends on the boy’s upbringing and environment in childhood.
How to raise a boy to be a real man? Loving mothers ask this question when they look at their little baby lying in the crib. The son is growing quickly, acquiring useful skills and abilities. However, he must be taught to live in this world. Many events occur simultaneously, and they all influence the process of personality formation. The ideal of a real man lies in childhood. The son, as a rule, takes an example from his father and tries to imitate him: he is happy to help in business, tries to be similar in behavior to his loved one. How to raise a boy to be a real man? What character traits need to be cultivated first? Can his parents' behavior significantly affect him? Let's try to figure it out!
Mother's love
This is the first thing a child of any gender needs. A boy, just like a girl, should feel that his mother loves him limitlessly. External achievements and circumstances should not play any role here. It has been proven that the most successful men grew up from those boys whom their mothers loved very much in childhood. It is a woman, like no one else, who is able to surround a baby with unconditional tenderness and care. Her father, no matter how much he wanted, could not do this for her. A mother inspires her little son to new victories and achievements.
It is in interaction with her that the child learns to be a little protector. If you are asking yourself a pressing question - how to raise a boy to be a real man, then do not skimp on showing sincere feelings. Praise should become an integral part of raising a son. The more they believe in a child, the sooner he realizes his prospects.
Fostering Responsibility
Interacting with a child is not an easy task. Parents often face new difficulties and learn from their own mistakes. The achievements of your own child are incredibly pleasing, but failures are seriously upsetting. How to raise a boy to be a real man? First of all, let him know that he needs to be responsible for his actions. The child must clearly understand that each of our actions leads to a certain result. If you want to achieve something important for yourself, try. How to raise a boy to be a real man? The rules here are simple. However, their implementation will take years. A mother should be affectionate and at the same time be able to instill in her son responsibility for the choices he makes every day.
Self-realization
Many young mothers think about how to raise a boy to be a real man. The psychology of the stronger sex is such that its representatives need to achieve everything through their own labor. Do not interfere with such impulses of the baby! Give him the opportunity to fully participate in learning something new. A child must explore life, make amazing discoveries every day. If a mother notices a certain inclination towards something in her son, then she should allow him to do what he loves. Never stop him from playing sports, drawing or playing musical instrument. Perhaps it will be your child who will amaze everyone around him with his great achievements in the future!
Self-realization is the main component of the life of a successful man. How to raise a boy to be a real man? Advice from relatives will not help here. It is important to understand that self-realization is necessary for effective personality development. Encourage any endeavors of your child, then the efforts will not be in vain!
Good manners
Any child should know how to behave correctly in society. Only in this case will he not constantly come into conflict with his environment. A boy should be able to thank and show delicacy towards those around him. Teach your son to respect elders and give up his seat on public transport. Good manners are useful everywhere. How to raise a real man from a boy? Reviews show that when the attention of adults is directed to the development of delicacy, in the future the young person is able to understand close people.
Ability to express feelings
There is a widespread model in society that prohibits the stronger sex from showing their own emotions. “Boys don’t cry,” boys hear from a very young age and therefore try to suppress pain and despair within themselves. As a result, the most important feelings remain undisclosed, unclaimed, and unheard. How to raise a boy to be a real man? Of course, it is impossible to take into account all the nuances. However, you should always remember that you need to learn to express feelings. Don't let your child suffer because of stupid human prejudices! There's nothing more terrible than with my own hands destroy the fragile child's psyche every day.
Tell your son what you are experiencing. Don't be afraid to share your pain with him. A child must consciously learn to recognize feelings, and this can only be done when adults do not lie in front of him, but show sincerity.
Nurturing masculinity
Nowadays, women often complain that they do not meet worthy partners. Few people understand that we ourselves create the reality around us, and pay close attention to this issue in our own family. How to raise a boy to be a real man? The role of the father here is extremely important. It is the figure of a big and strong dad that encourages the little son to strive to copy his behavior. The father is the first to teach the child a lesson in masculinity by demonstrating by example what behavior can be considered worthy. Every boy wants to be proud of his father and feels the need to hear praise and advice from him.
An adult man is able to teach a child a lot: responsibility for the choices he makes, the ability to make decisions, and set realistic and achievable goals. The development of masculinity is possible only by imitating a father or a close relative of the stronger sex. A boy cannot learn from his mother how to express himself. Successful identification with one's gender is possible only with the participation of a man in the family.
Help mom
Ideally, it is better to instill in your child the habit of fulfilling responsibilities at home. At the same time, it is good that they are quite specific: take out the trash, wash the floor in your room or the dishes after dinner. This way, the child will be more likely to get used to taking responsibility for what happens to him. Helping your mother is a desirable attribute in raising a future man. He must learn to understand that the family at a certain point in time may need his support and attention. Some men mistakenly believe that their son does not need such skills. Like, they won’t be useful anywhere in life.
There is no need to be afraid that the boy will grow up to be effeminate - this is absolute stupidity. There is no connection between the lack of masculinity and the desire to be useful to close relatives.
Sports activities
Physical health is the most important indicator of successful development. If you do not devote enough time and attention to this issue, the boy will not be able to feel confident among his peers. Playing sports incredibly increases physical endurance, strengthens muscles, and trains the will. It is useful for a boy at any age to spend time swimming, playing basketball or volleyball. The benefits of such activities are undoubted: physical endurance and stamina develop, muscles become stronger, and self-confidence increases. Sports activities contribute to the development of a future man. The more physically developed a boy becomes, the closer he approaches the image of masculinity.
"The boy is the man's father"
This is the name of the famous book by I.S. Kon, reflecting the stages of formation of the personality of the stronger sex. It would be useful for parents to study it and highlight the peculiarities of upbringing in each individual period. How many mistakes could have been avoided then! With the help of the available guide to action, in the end you will not have to reap the bitter fruits of incorrect pedagogical influence. This book explains in detail what shapes male qualities of character, what events have a strong influence on the development of a child.
How to raise a boy to be a real man? The book will help parents who want only happiness for their children. “A Boy is a Man’s Father” should become a reference book for most caring mothers and fathers.
The right to choose
When raising a boy, we must not forget about one important feature. From childhood, a child must learn to make decisions independently. Give up the idea of imposing your point of view on him, this is a fundamentally wrong position. This way, the child will not begin to take responsibility for what is happening, but will shift it onto the parents’ shoulders. If a boy is growing up in a family, he needs to be given more freedom of choice to implement certain steps. Only then can he learn to act confidently and easily, without fear of making a mistake or receiving the disapproval of his elders.
The right to choose is an integral component of dominant behavior, which every male representative must have. When we deliberately deprive a little person of choice, the result is a weak, weak-willed person, unadapted to life.
Recognition of male authority
From childhood, a child must learn a family model in which the father is always the main one. Having a big, strong and strong shoulder that you can always rely on makes life much easier. In childhood, almost all boys admire their fathers and want to be like loved one. They often say their desires out loud and add: “I’ll be just like dad.” The father must pay a lot of attention to his son, starting from the time when the baby is just born. Only then, identifying himself with a strong and brave dad, will he strive to accept important decisions on one's own. The father in a boy's life is the number one figure. They look up to him, admire his actions, and enthusiastically imitate him.
Recognition of male authority is an important step in the development of a man of the stronger sex. Raising a boy to be a real man will not be difficult for a father. This is provided that a loving and caring dad himself is a worthy role model. He should take care of his mother with special warmth and tenderness. Through his actions, the father teaches his little son to respect a woman. Otherwise, the child will feel the falseness in the parents’ relationship, the discrepancy between their words and actions.
If there is no father in the family
How to raise a boy to be a real man without a father? Is it possible to do this in principle? A mother raising her son alone must take some points into account. Today, single-parent families, unfortunately, are not uncommon. A woman should not feel guilty about her child. If it so happens that she currently does not have a worthy life partner, do not despair. A mother should never put pressure on her son, force him to do something through force. Otherwise, a man will grow up who will endlessly adapt to the whims of a woman.
How to raise a boy to be a real man without a father? It is desirable that the absence of a child’s father be at least partially compensated for by close relatives or other male acquaintances. Let's say, a grandfather or uncle who spends a lot of time with the baby will benefit him and help him correctly and painlessly carry out self-identification. This difficult process, which does not happen in one day, but it should not be forgotten either. A man who helps raise a boy, contributes to his personal development, helps to strengthen faith in himself and his own capabilities.
Instead of a conclusion
Thus, growing up is never painless or smooth. In most cases, you have to overcome significant obstacles on the way to the desired goal. The formation of a boy is a complex process that requires great emotional participation from both parents.
