Today a man commented on the article, and in a very detailed and interesting way.
If a man disappears: suddenly and without explanation
“Such behavior of a man towards a woman can be for several reasons.
If a man disappears and appears, then there are several reasons for such indifferent behavior on the part of the man. For example, a man is not completely interested in a woman (mental and physical attraction). If he felt both ways about her, he wouldn't behave this way. This means that either she attracts him only physically, or he uses her spiritual and human qualities, for example, in the role of a comforter or a vest.
Sometimes men have problems, and then they simply have no time for building relationships. A woman must understand that if the relationship has not passed the trusting stage and has not yet become very close, then at this moment she needs to simply leave the man with his thoughts. IN right time he will show up himself.
In some situations, a man simply wants to teach a girl a lesson, neglecting to talk with her. If a girl really feels guilty, then you can apologize softly. But only if there is really something for it! If this does not happen, then the man’s resentment will simply develop into annoyance.
A man can either disappear or appear, or respond to SMS or messages in an agent, or not, simply because he has another woman.
By the way, it also happens that a man likes it when he pisses off a woman. If a man deliberately provokes a slight quarrel, and then apologizes in every possible way and hugs a woman, then perhaps he simply likes them in anger, likes their pouting lips, likes the negativity that women then splash out.
A man can be offended on the side. Of course, in a relationship you need to learn to be tolerant and you don’t need to throw out your anger or Bad mood to the woman you love. But there are representatives of the stronger sex who are offended by one woman, and they take it out on others.
It is also very important for men to just be alone sometimes. If you had a good relationship with him, and then the man is missing , stopped calling or became reluctant to make contact, then this may be for the reasons listed above, but, quite likely, this is the so-called “delay,” that is, the man’s desire to be alone and think. It is important for a woman to wait and endure this time, and if a man has feelings for her, he will soon return, and even more fulfilled and loving. Like an elastic band that was pulled very, very tightly, and then released, and it was pulled back with greater force.
But, my dear women, the essence here is the same - if a man needs you, he will definitely find a way to be with you. As a man, I can advise you not to impose yourself and not to terrorize a man with calls and showdowns. This will make things even worse.
Be wise and confident in yourself and your feminine power. Be loving and fulfilled. And don’t waste your time, nerves and health on “incomprehensible” men!
If a man disappears without explanation, that's his problem, not yours.
Don't take everything upon yourself, don't delve into yourself. Take care of yourself, love yourself! Loving man will always return to the object of his love and therefore if a man goes missing, do not make excuses for him and do not get hung up on him! If you are needed and interesting, if you have feelings, he will definitely come. And if not, then wish him a happy journey and wait for YOUR man! Loving and caring!
Here is a comment from Dmitry. I was even surprised at such a detailed answer. Thank you very much Dmitry for his male gaze on women's question! How to find exactly your man, read the article
I advise you to visit the websites of famous trainers such as,
You meet a man and feel that “that same spark” jumps between you. A few days of exchanging text messages, and now you are already going on a date. Chemistry is a strong thing. With new contact between the two elements that you and your boyfriend are, the attraction can be very strong.
But after several meetings, something goes wrong. And this is something that puzzles you. The man begins to ignore messages, come up with reasons to delay the next date, becomes too busy, promises to call back, but never does, and then disappears altogether.
What happens afterthe man leaveswithout a reason
When a man leaves out of your life in this way, you are left alone with yourself - stunned, morally crushed, having no idea why he is doing this. After all, everything was just great! And suddenly it was over.
You don't understand who is to blame for this. Perhaps he had intentions that you were not suited to fulfill. Or maybe it’s because of his “cockroaches in his head.”
I will say this, if this is an isolated case, then maybe it’s just those “cockroaches”. But if such situations happen more than once, you need to start looking within yourself for the reason,why do men lose interest to you.
Why does a man lose interest in a woman?or What went wrong?
This is why this situation is incomprehensible to most women. When a girl loses interest in a guy after a few dates, she can almost always identify the reason why. Perhaps he is not very intelligent, withdrawn, uncommunicative, or, on the contrary, too noisy and active. That is, she can specifically say what exactly she doesn’t like about him.
For men, everything is different. He can enjoy great dates with you. He may enjoy sex with you. But at some point, having discovered that your company is more unpleasant for him, the man leaves . And you are from such a situation.
And is there really no explanation for this?No. There is always a reason. Let's look at one of them. After several successful dates, many women, making sure that they like the man, begin to fantasize about a future together.
So what happens next? You're making it up various options living together, you can imagine how he will behave. You think that he is already yours forever. In general, you become attached to your fantasies and gradually begin to impose them on him.
At the same time, you do not notice the problem. Instead of getting to know the real him, you begin to build a relationship with his fictional copy, which often has nothing in common with real person in front of you.
Most men intuitively feel when a girl is too attached great importance an ordinary meeting or acquaintance. If expectations are placed on a man that he did not sign up for, this, of course, causes a reaction of rejection.
You think that he already owes you something. But he really just wanted to have a good time, in the end he was looking for an unobtrusive relationship plus sex. He is clearly not ready for such a turn of events, when he almost needs to take you to church, and will naturally back down.
In this situation it cannot be said that the man is just loses interest in a woman, because he has serious reasons for this.
Why do women do this?
All women want to feel good, but often their actions lead to the opposite. This is because everyone needs confidence and experiences fear of the unknown.
This fear is destructive. Moreover, a woman may not realize that he exists. Few people manage to realize the presence of such a problem in time.
Meanwhile, the ever-growing anxiety is overshadowed by the desire to become happy, to quickly find a man who will not only give you love, but will also become a universal tool for solving all your problems. At the same time, you forget that you also need to work on yourself, and not rely on your chosen one.
When you date a guy who makes you feel good, this need becomes overwhelming. You may not even realize you're doing it. But a man senses changes in you.
And in the end, instead of feeling a sense of unity with you, he begins to understand that you want something from him. He doesn't know exactly what. But instinct does its job and gives a hint to a man - to leave right now, before it’s too late and he’s not bogged down head over heels in responsibilities that he doesn’t need..
Here's more specific example from life: Once upon a time, one woman attended a women’s training and was informed that she needed to make an album of her desires and hang it in a visible place for her husband to see. And then they will definitely be fulfilled. When my husband came home and saw the album, he packed his things and left. To the question “WHY?”, she received the answer - “Sorry, dear, but I’m not the man who can give you everything you want.” The man was simply frightened by the number of desires that she had imagined for herself.
Now imagine - it was the husband! What can we say about a man with whom you have only had a couple of dates? It is quite natural that, frightened by all those desires that you so long for to be fulfilled, a man leaves your life. I'm not saying that a man cannot realize them. I'm saying that you don't need to shift your problems, questions and expectations onto him. If he wants, he will decide for himself. But putting a man in the state of “you owe me” is the first step towards breaking up in a relationship.
This usually happens at a time when a woman is trying to think about what needs to be done to make your future relationship work. the best way. But there are no relationships yet.
Here we can draw an analogy. Imagine that someone comes up to you and tries to sell you something unnecessary and useless. Even if the person who approached smiles and seems friendly, subconsciously you still want to leave, because you know that they approached you for a reason. They want to get money from you, not help.
The same thing is felt by a man who is just trying to get to know the interlocutor opposite, but already feels that they want something from him.
You can't force love
When you enter into a new relationship and start to think that this is something more than just communication, consider it game over. And by the time you think about what happened and why the man is losing interest in you, it will be too late.
This does not mean that in this situation the man is right and the woman is wrong.
The best relationships are those that are formed naturally. Relationships can give you what you dream of. But there is no need to make them an end in themselves.
This is the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy or dysfunctional one. A healthy relationship is when two people are happy, when everything is mutual, comfortable, when you give something, but also receive quite a lot in return.
An unhealthy relationship is when one of the partners, or even both, believes that the other should give them something or has something that could be received from him, some kind of benefit.
So how to solve this problem? If you stop focusing on results and just enjoy life, then a man will also feel good around you.
When he understands that you feel good, that everything is fine with you, he will want to be close to you. But when you begin to demand from him something to which in fact you do not yet have the right, this leads to the man leaving. And yes, it really is that simple.
Of course, this is not the only reason why a man leaves and loses interest in a woman, but it is certainly one of the most common. There may also be banal incompatibility, but this is a completely different conversation that we can have if you decide to follow the Path of a Woman.
The most interesting articles Yaroslav Samoilov:
My greetings to you, dear ones!
Why do men disappear from relationships without explanation? This most often happens at the very beginning of a relationship, but sometimes those who are especially “responsible” manage to evaporate even from the family. A special case is when a man disappears on the eve of the holidays, or after you ask him for a gift or help with something.
Who is to blame and what to do?
The man took the phone number and disappeared immediately after meeting
Variant of the story.
He saw you on a bus passing by, ran after you for a whole block, got on the bus at a stop and, very embarrassed, asked for your phone number, because he really liked you and was generally the girl of his dreams. At the same time, he was sober and adequate.
You agreed that he would call in the evening, and... 2 weeks have passed since then, and not a call from him, not a tiny text message.
Why the hell did you get the number, you ask? It's annoying!
Why couldn't he call:
he just didn't feel like it anymore. It happens that the romantic mood passes, a man switches to his life and forgets about this little adventure. Perhaps he was just bored, waiting for something, while away free evening and had a little fun getting to know you, not initially planning to call. Or maybe he is even too lazy to get involved in a new relationship, especially if there is at least some alternative;
he made a mistake in writing the phone number, or the number was not saved. Or maybe the phone committed suicide right after we met, or it was stolen. Oops, bad luck this time. Quite an unlikely situation. And if he really liked you a lot, most likely he will find a way to meet you;
he is married or in a committed relationship. He couldn’t contain his impulse and met you, but then he thought it over and decided not to get involved in a relationship on the side. Or I hid your number away so that I can call you when the opportunity arises and my wife goes somewhere. While I was waiting, I forgot what you looked like and called the one I could remember (and this is for the better);
he met you on a bet, as proof he had to show your phone number, or your number is a trophy in itself that you can show off to your friends;
he is learning to achieve goals, or he has set himself a task - to meet ten women he likes, without being embarrassed or screwing up. Well, or he was simply interested in the process itself and flirting, he was checking his “maleness” and whether he had lost his fighting acumen, but it would have been strange not to take the number, and so he took it. Or maybe he’s just a pick-up artist with his usual quirks;
after meeting you, I met another “girl of my dreams”, but forgot to think about you, because fresh emotions overwhelmed the slightly forgotten ones;
During the conversation, he realized that he had made a mistake with his conclusions about the “dream,” but it was simply inconvenient not to ask for the phone number, or he took it just in case. Such an understanding may come to him some time after the conversation;
he needed urgent sex, and you refused to go with him where he invited him (at least to a cafe to begin with), or even during communication he realized that it wouldn’t work out so easily with you. He took your number for the sake of decency, maybe even walked you home, and then ran off to look for more affordable option, and completely forgot about you;
he was disappointed that you so easily gave him the phone number without forcing him to go through some kind of quest like “on Saturday at 6 pm I will come to dance at the fitness club on Sovetskaya 64, if you want, you can see me there.” Some men are not looking for easy ways, they want to overcome obstacles and they are only interested in girls that are difficult to reach and even inaccessible, while others immediately lose interest. They have a peculiar understanding of ease of accessibility: if she gave the number right away, it means she’s a so-so girl, probably no one needs her;
he died or force majeure happened to him (this sometimes happens, although rarely).
In general, the cause could be anything from a simple change in mood to personal Armageddon. Anyway, if he doesn’t call, it means he just doesn’t want to do it. Unless he died, of course.
What to do?
Nothing. Leave him the right to be what he wants and do with his life as he sees fit. Very often a man gets acquainted, knowing full well that all this will not be continued, and you have absolutely nothing to do with it. You shouldn’t get carried away with soul-searching and look for the reason within yourself, because in the vast majority of cases, as you noticed, it’s about the man himself and his intentions, and not about you.
In the end, this is just another acquaintance, of which a free girl in search can have (and should be!) a dozen a day. Why make too much of it? Mind your own business, communicate and enjoy life. Don't rush. If he needs it, he will find it and call. The less you remember about it, the faster you will forget. In a week, month, or year, you definitely won’t remember about it.
A man suddenly disappeared at the beginning of a relationship
You started a relationship, everything seemed to be fine, perhaps you even managed to become friends not only with your hearts, but also with your bodies. And then bam - you realize that it’s been washed away for a whole week. Or he gradually faded away, called less and less often, and the time between meetings lasted longer and longer, and eventually stopped showing signs of life. You feel crushed, and thoughts are swarming in circles in your head: “Why? What did I do wrong? How can I fix everything?”
Alas, not all men have the courage to at least write a text message saying that everything is over between you. Not to mention a personal meeting. And is this meeting necessary? There is no longer a relationship, and what difference does it make how he told you about it? What if he didn’t say anything and just disappeared without explanation?
In this case, women most often begin to blame themselves. And in vain.
If you disappear at the beginning of a relationship, the reasons may be different:
1. He died or something tragic happened to him. Again, it is possible. This is a very unlikely case, so I highly recommend not calling him, asking if everything is okay with him, and if he has breathed his last. Moreover, you shouldn’t wait at the door of his apartment to “just talk and dot the t’s.”
If you have been in a relationship for some time and are very worried about his life, ask mutual friends about him once.
If they are not there and there is no one to find out about its existence, then you can still easily check it yourself. Wait for him near work or home. The main thing is to do it from afar and don’t catch the eye of either him or your mutual friends! Otherwise, he will think too much about himself, or worse, he will feel like a victim of an abnormal hunter and is unlikely to ever show up.
As a last resort, you can also write him a message: “Hi, how are you?” Delivered, but no response, and yet it regularly appears online? So, point number 2.
2. He just doesn't like you. Maybe you liked him initially, but didn’t like him, he saw that you and he had different interests, views on life and goals, and you weren’t on the same path. Or he started dating you out of boredom, without thinking about whether he likes you. Doesn’t it really happen to women that, out of boredom, they indulge a little in a relationship with someone who is not very interesting and with whom nothing long-term is initially planned? The boredom has passed, and the need for a relationship with you has disappeared. How can he explain this? That’s why he prefers to evaporate in silence.
3. He realized that he conquered you, got what he wanted, and is looking for the next prey, or is already running after it with all his might. This often happens after sex, which is what men most often hunt for. This means that sex was the goal, or it was accidental, or not at all what the man would like. And here, in fact, this is the same point number two, in which he simply doesn’t like you.
4. He was afraid of responsibility, your serious conversations and intentions, or even realized that he did not want to spend his life with you. Also point number 2.
5. He has a period of doubt when he himself wants to decide whether to continue the relationship with you. Very similar to point number 2, but with unimportant nuances.
6. He made peace with his ex. It's trivial because it happens often. Especially if he started a relationship with you to forget her, or to spite her, or to make her jealous. The effect has been achieved, your services are no longer needed...
7. He is tired of your hysterics, demands and brainwashing, especially in public. The lack of gratitude and criticism makes him feel used. And his patience ran out.
8. He has problems or is stuck at work. That is, the fear of losing you fades into the background, because it is not so great in comparison with his problem.
9. Holidays are coming: your birthday, New Year, February 14, March 8. It’s a pity to spend money on a gift for you. He'll show up after the holidays. Either you yourself asked him for a gift or help with something, and he disappeared. This is definitely point number 2.
It would seem that the reason should be obvious to the woman herself. But when falling in love literally comes out of your ears, all this no longer seems so logical. I would like to hope for the best. Especially if in my mind I already married him and gave birth to three children. And he takes it and brazenly merges... I don’t want to believe that this is the end. But there is nothing more left.
What to do?
If he disappeared after the first sex - nothing. He is not interested in developing relationships, he will have to get over it. Any SMS and calls are a humiliation of your dignity.
If he disappeared before the first sex, then nothing. It's not hard to forget a man a woman hasn't slept with. Sooner or later it will disappear from your mind without leaving a trace. It is unlikely that it will take more than a few months, and in a couple of years you will not be able to remember about it, even if you wanted to.
If he disappeared after a couple of months of the relationship, it’s surprising, but again nothing. It makes no sense to terrorize him with calls, “accidentally” catch his eye, ask for forgiveness, offer help in solving problems, eternal friendship or meetings for sex. He may agree, but in his eyes you will lose your last value. What if he doesn’t agree, how will you feel?
Even if your tantrums were to blame, draw conclusions about changing your behavior in life, wait a couple of weeks, write to him “Hi, how are you?” and wait for a reaction. If he wants to communicate and meet you, try not to repeat your destructive behavior. If his reaction is sluggish or absent, continue searching for the man of your dreams. Give yourself the right to make mistakes! After all, no one is perfect, and there is no point in making excessive demands on yourself. After all, you are not a gold bar for everyone to like, and you don’t have to be loved by everyone who comes your way. Leave it to others to choose whether they like you or not. And it's not your problem. You don't like everyone either.
And this “loser” will show up himself if he wants. And he will most likely do this no sooner than you truly decide to let him go inside you.
In any case, even if you want to get him back, you first need a break in communication for 2-3 weeks so that he forgets the bad things about your relationship, the resentment subsides, and he misses all the good things that happened between you. Problems don’t last forever, if you’re bored, you’ll call. If you don’t get bored, draw your own conclusions. By the way, I plan to write an article about how to competently return a man. Therefore, subscribe to updates at your convenience: on VKontakte, or in Telegram, or so as not to miss it.
Why no explanation?
It would seem, well, just say humanly that you don’t want to continue, and that’s the end of it. A woman will not suffer in the unknown. But no. And why is that?
main reason this is fear. Suddenly you start making trouble, sort things out, accuse him of all sins, cut off his phone, watch at the door, threaten, or even smash his car or face. And so it seems that he hid his head in the sand, and you see - everything will sort itself out, she will survive and calm down.
Although his hopes look stupid, it is still pointless to blame him for them. After all, women often do even worse than he could imagine in his worst nightmare. If all women calmly reacted to the proposal to leave, did not reproach him and did not cry, did not try to get a reason from him, did not persuade him to change his mind and stay where he does not want to stay, then it is quite possible that he would not disappear after all. English
That is, if women knew their worth and behaved with dignity. If he doesn’t want to, it means he doesn’t want to, this is his decision and choice, it is impossible to be suitable for everyone, and you are good enough to arrange your personal life happily without him. If all women had this much self-esteem and confidence, the world would be a completely different place, full of responsible men. About the benefits feminine dignity I wrote in detail about family happiness.
Also, the reason may be the feeling of being the navel of the Earth. He is sure that everyone around him thinks and feels the same as he does. In his head, he has built logical arguments why your relationship has no future, and he is absolutely sure that everything is just as clear to you, this is more than logical!
He doesn’t take into account that this is only logical for him, and you have your own feelings about the relationship with him, and about all other reasons too. Needless to say, women are guilty of this no less often. For example, when you are sure that it is logical - after six months of a relationship, buy the most expensive ring that you can afford, invite you to a restaurant, get down on one knee and, shedding tears of love and admiration, propose to the woman.
And he may have his own logic about when, to whom and how to make an offer. The woman gets offended and leaves him, and he doesn’t even understand why he was abandoned.
Or a woman thinks that it is logical and natural to help her when she is puffing and straining, dragging bags from the store, or washing dishes late at night, when everyone is already asleep. But this is not logical for a man - well, since she copes and doesn’t ask for help, then she doesn’t need it. If a man does not need help, he will not ask for it, and offering to help him will humiliate him, show him that he is a weakling and is not able to cope with it.
Therefore, he judges by himself, and the woman by herself. Each is sure that the other’s head has the same thoughts as his. That the other understands perfectly well what they want from him, but does not do it out of spite, specifically to offend him more strongly. This is how two adult small children, who still have not realized where one person ends and another begins, ruin each other’s relationships and lives.
Another option could be a period of doubt. Many male trainers argue that a man must have a period when he decides for himself whether he wants to be with this woman. They came too close and he first needed to move away in order to see her at some distance and feel attraction. And it would be better if this period came at the beginning of a relationship, and not in a deep marriage.
Women, as a rule, do not have such a period. Therefore, he won’t even be able to explain to her what’s what, no matter how hard he tries. Often he cannot even explain to himself why he wants to push away from her. If she doesn’t get hysterical and just minds her own business, then most likely he will get bored and will be attracted to her again.
A man disappeared and appeared, how to behave
For whatever reason, a man disappears, if he appears, it means he has some desire to be with you. Whether it’s strong or not, he himself doesn’t know yet. Therefore, competent behavior of a woman is important here.
First, you need to put aside the desire for revenge and send him away, fall in love and leave him, get him at all costs and come what may. Better analyze his qualities, past attitude towards you, listen to yourself - would you like to spend your life with this person? Are you interested in communicating with him? Are you inspired by his goals? Don't you feel deep down that you will break up with him sooner or later because he is not right for you? Are you simply fooled by his good looks? To help you decide, I specifically wrote.
Usually inside a woman there are answers to these questions, but emotions drown out everything. And then she either understands that he is what she needs, but pushes him away out of resentment, or, on the contrary, she realizes that he is not very interesting to her and does not suit her, but the excitement of the hunt and offended pride force her to fight for him, wasting her time in vain.
If you don't need him, you shouldn't start this relationship again. It's better to end everything now before you get too attached. Then it will be more painful to tear it off, but you will still have to, since it is not a match for you.
If you don’t know him well and have not yet managed to understand whether he is needed or not, or are sure that he is needed, you will need all your self-control, pride and patience. React to his appearance calmly.
You should not joyfully throw yourself into his arms - for him this will be a sign that you have been waiting for him and he can disappear and appear whenever he pleases, and you are quite happy to be an alternate airfield and will always happily accept him.
At the same time, you should not roll out insults to him, describe your sufferings that you experienced without him, how bad you felt without him. He can run away from guilt again. Perhaps he had that very period of doubt, and he survived it.
You shouldn’t scold him for this, it’s best to just explain your feelings: “I didn’t know what to think, it was like you don’t want our relationship anymore, and I was preparing for the worst and trying to come to terms with the idea that between We're done. So now I need to think about it to see if I want to continue.”
And let him try to earn your favor. Just accept his courtship, gifts and attention not with a feeling of offended pride and arrogance, but as if it were the first time. It’s as if he didn’t do anything wrong, but nevertheless he rolled back a step and is now trying to conquer you again. Old new fan. And it’s up to you to decide whether he’s worthy of a second try or not.
If you did everything right, he conquered you and you had a wonderful relationship, but then he suddenly or gradually disappeared a second time - your relationship is over. He has very big doubts about you. Too big to create with reliable family. This means he’s not right for you because he doesn’t love you enough. Or he is very afraid of responsibility, and this also means that he is not a match for you.
The man disappears and appears again
I won’t say anything new - he doesn’t like you enough to settle on you and stay. He may or may not have another woman - the conclusion is the same.
Yes, sometimes it happens that a man is very passionate and involved in his activities. Kind of like Rearden in Atlas Shrugged. This one will sometimes appear and disappear again in his fantastically interesting work. These are the kind of passionate people who can change the world. But there are very few of them.
This happens much more often when a man likes you in some ways, but not in others. So he rushes about in the hope of finding more suitable option. Sometimes he misses some of your qualities that suit him, and at such moments he calls and writes. If he doesn’t show signs of life, it means at these moments he is most likely thinking about your unsuitable qualities, or about the suitable qualities of some other woman. Therefore, it is pointless to torture him with calls - at this moment he is focused on the bad, and you push him away even more.
That is, in essence, he doesn’t really need you. I specifically call the qualities "suitable for him" and "unsuitable" and do not call them your "good" and "bad" qualities. So that you don’t suddenly rush to blame yourself and reshape these qualities to please him. If you try to adapt to him, to love what he loves, to stop loving what he doesn’t like, you will lose yourself, and then you will not like either yourself or him, because he will become bored. Your self-esteem will drop to zero, you will constantly be looking for something else that is so “crooked” to change in yourself so that he will like you more. And without consistently high self-esteem, healthy relationships are impossible.
It is much more interesting to find someone who needs exactly your kit. My consulting experience shows that every product has its own merchant who can appreciate it. One considers a woman's intelligence to be a disadvantage, the other - an advantage. One needs someone who is soft and submissive, the other needs someone who can firmly defend their opinions and desires. One wants a woman who knows how to calmly negotiate, the other wants a brawler who, with her screams, causes a surge of emotions in him and makes him experience the whole rainbow of feelings. It is impossible to please everyone at once; it is better to look longer and find your own ideal.
It turns out that such relationships, when a man is “figaro here - figaro there”, are unpromising. You can’t adapt to him, and if you don’t adapt, he will run away again. As a last resort, you can correct your obvious shortcomings, which you yourself consider to be such. For example, quarrelsomeness, rudeness, inadequate jealousy, unkemptness and others like them - in any case, it won’t hurt to work on these qualities, at least just for yourself, and not for him. But only if you want to. After all, you can find your connoisseur in any case if you look hard enough.
In such a “neither here nor there” relationship, the woman becomes deathly attached to the man. No wonder - he gives her such an emotional swing that you just sway! A woman considers such a man amazing because he makes her shake ten out of nine. Sometimes from love and happiness, sometimes from resentment and hatred. She feels "finally truly alive." And it’s so sweet and pleasant to wait for his call, and then he will crawl on his knees in front of her, ask for forgiveness and say that she is the best in the world and he realized that he cannot live without her. They will have a sweet time of love, seasoned with the bitterness of waiting for a new separation, and then everything will happen again.
Other things are relegated to the tenth plane, because nothing can compare with these sensations. In my head there is only him and the anticipation of his next prank, an acute desire to get him whole, and it doesn’t matter how suitable he is. You can get into this addiction for many years.
Moreover, dependence is not so much on a man; he himself may not be needed; deep down, many women understand this. That they will break up with him sooner or later, when their relationship has more or less settled down, because they have very different views on life, and by and large bored with each other.
The dependence here is more on these emotions and the irresistible gambling desire to achieve his love. Many of them say: “I’m not used to losing, I’ve invested too much in him, I can’t afford to lose, and I’ll get him at any cost.” Especially if he's handsome. They invest more and more, and therefore become more and more attached. There's too much at stake to just give up. And the further it goes, the worse it gets. Just like in a casino.
The secret of getting rid of addiction is to finally come to terms with it, take it and give it up. If a man has disappeared more than once, then he is simply not right for you. After all main criterion suitable man- he loves you and wants to be with you. And this one either loves, then doesn’t love, then again twenty-five. Is it possible to build a family with this? If you hope that a stamp in your passport and the presence of children will stop him, then you are mistaken.
Accept that you have invested too much in this relationship and realize that you still have a lot left. You will not invest anything else into this relationship, and from now on you will only invest in places where you are truly welcome.
Find other sources of pleasure and emotion. During your relationship with him, you abandoned everything, because nothing could compare in the intensity of sensations with your hopeless romance. Old passions and hobbies no longer bring joy - look for new ones that do. Replace this dependency with another one, only more useful and accessible - for example, from healthy image life or your own chic appearance. Just this time remember that everything is good in moderation, don’t be obsessed and leave room in life for other activities and hobbies.
A man disappeared from a family or long-term cohabitation
Everything was fine, the family was created (or in the immediate plans), perhaps there were already children. And then, out of the blue, the man slammed the door and disappeared without explanation. Is this really possible?
Fortunately, rarely. This can only happen if in reality everything was not that good. But the wife chose the ostrich position. I buried my head in the sand and didn’t want to notice the problems. Because I didn’t know how to solve them, and I was afraid that everything would collapse. “A bad peace is better than a good quarrel, maybe it will somehow resolve itself,” she hoped. It didn't resolve...
The reason for this could be scandals, insults and grievances that accumulated and accumulated, and one fine day he realized that he was either in the noose or free. Because otherwise it will explode so much that they will have to collect its remains within a radius of one hundred kilometers. The instinct of self-preservation makes him run. He can be understood, because he was not taught the ability to negotiate, hear another and competently convey his thoughts. And who was taught?
The reason could also be that he fell in love with another woman who gave him an ultimatum, he couldn’t withstand the tension, and he didn’t have the courage to look you in the eyes. Just like long-term grievances with claims, a woman cannot help but notice that her husband has fallen in love with another. Therefore, here, too, it cannot be said that he disappeared for no reason. The woman understood what was happening, but was afraid to ask questions. And if you really didn’t notice, then can you really say about such a relationship “everything is fine with us”? In the family there is no closeness and understanding of what is happening to the other person. Not spouses, but cohabitants in a common area. When there is spiritual intimacy, a change in the other’s mood is felt almost instantly.
Leaving your family once and for all is not so easy. Parents and friends will force him to change his mind and return (if you created with them a good relationship, Certainly). Most likely, he will miss his children. And it wouldn’t hurt to get a divorce either, in order to create other relationships. Therefore, few people succeed in disappearing from their family without a trace.
Finally
If men often disappear from your life, then it is likely that the reason is you. Maybe from the first minute you want to marry every next man, and you behave too annoyingly? Or is your nature very hysterical and it would be worth working on yourself? There can be many reasons, each situation is individual.
Don't get attached to a man too quickly, let things take their course. Leave him the right to change his life whenever he wants. And don’t forget to give yourself this right. Stop thinking about whether you are right for him and what he wants from you. It’s better to check if it suits you (using the same one that I already mentioned).
And most importantly, stop blaming yourself for everything! Self-esteem is like a hundred-kilogram weight - it’s easy to drop and difficult to lift. If he has not forgotten his ex, this does not mean that you are worse, it’s just that his heart is closed to others. If he doesn’t like something about you, it doesn’t mean that you are bad, you just aren’t suitable for HIM. After all, if it is important for you that a man, for example, likes to travel and does not smoke, then smoking homebody men are not bad at all, they are just not suitable for YOU. And there is no tragedy in this, because it is impossible to be good and suitable for everyone. Look for your man who will be delighted with your qualities.
Situations when she was waiting around the clock for a call from her loved one. When your heart sank with frantic anxiety in the hope of hearing your own voice. But men don’t seem to understand that women are waiting for their call and hoping for reciprocal feelings. Sometimes a young man does not call back even after the first date, although all the time he held his companion’s hand and looked at her with loving eyes. Sometimes a man stops communicating in the midst of an affair, although there were no objective prerequisites for this. And it is not known which of the situations is more difficult. The first is when it’s offensive that you are ignored. Or the second, when feelings appeared - and silence, like a knife, cuts the heart. So, why did the man suddenly stop communicating? Let's look at these two situations in more detail.
Why did the man suddenly stop communicating after the first date?
A rich female imagination can draw a thousand reasons for the disappearance of a young man. But usually they have nothing to do with reality. So, what's the matter?
Explaining everything, but absolutely fantastic reasons
1. Force majeure
For example, his friend died or close person, and he had to quickly leave the city, region, country. Go to a place where there are no mobile towers. Of course, he is worried and wants to call and chat, but circumstances are stronger than him. Is it possible? Quite. After all, every day someone dies. Maybe your chosen one really has just such a situation? But if he really fell in love with you, the man will always find the opportunity and time to communicate.
2. Disease
It doesn't matter how heavy it is. The main thing is that your loved one is simply not capable of even writing a simple SMS. You begin to convince yourself of the seriousness of this version. On the other hand, what prevents him from contacting you through a friend or relatives and explaining the reason for his silence? No matter how serious the illness, it is not an obstacle to a simple phone call.
3. He was killed
This explains this behavior of the man. Now high level crime, and the guy got caught. All that remains is to cry and say goodbye to failed love. But, you see, this reason is the most incredible.
Real reasons
1. Sex on the first date
After the first date, two scenarios are possible: either the man and woman will end up in the same bed, or in different ones. Why is the first option an error? Yes, because any man is a conqueror. And if he has already received everything, then what should he strive for? If there was no sex, then with each new meeting his sympathy and interest would grow in And so - the motivation disappeared, and with it the desire to communicate. In general, you only have yourself to blame for this!
2. Too much alcohol
In a drunken stupor, communication between a woman and a man can go far beyond the boundaries of decency. Everything is possible - a story about your secrets, passionate declarations of love, and proposals of the heart. You should not believe words spoken while intoxicated. And any normal girl understands that while drunk it is difficult to seriously interest a man. And it’s even more stupid to hope for a continuation of the relationship.
Most common reason
It is not necessary to know what is hidden behind the concepts of “features of intersexual communication” and other scientific terms in order to determine the most common reason disappearance of a partner. It is very banal - you are not his type. You may have a spectacular appearance and a rich inner world, but a man simply isn’t attracted to you, and that’s all. Don’t be upset, because even royalty, movie stars and models are rejected. This is just not your person!
Why did a man suddenly stop communicating in the midst of an affair?
What to do if the relationship has been going on for several weeks or even months? The chosen one suddenly stopped calling, answering calls, appearing in in social networks and even maintain relationships with mutual friends? What if this is the end of a whirlwind romance? Or can this behavior still be explained?
Banal reasons
1. Women place too much importance on phone calls.
When a girl is waiting for a call from her chosen one, she simply doesn’t understand that it doesn’t even occur to him to call. “If I don’t call, it means I’m busy” - this is what most guys think. In addition, many people have situations in their lives when they simply don’t want to talk on the phone. And it is not necessary that the reason for such reluctance is the girl herself. Therefore, you need to calm down and stop waiting for his call. Your loved one will show up on his own.
2. You may be in too much of a hurry
Yes, you went on a few dates and had a good time. So why did the man suddenly stop communicating? The main reason is that you treat him as your property and are very jealous. And the guys are in no hurry to say goodbye to their freedom, especially at the beginning of the novel. Of course, after the first date, girls tend to fantasize about what kind of children the newly-made gentleman will have and how long and happily they will live in marriage. Guys are not characterized by such sentimentality.
You are already seriously thinking about wedding bells, and your chosen one may not yet have decided whether to continue the relationship at all. If this is so, then there is nothing surprising in his reluctance to communicate. By leaving, he makes it clear that he is not ready for serious changes. At least for now.
Serious reasons
Here we’ll talk about the reasons why your loved one decided to withdraw from the relationship. Maybe he didn’t have the courage to say it to his face, or maybe he wanted to give him the opportunity to leave him first. Well, he stopped communicating and hasn’t called for several days, and you sent him a message that it’s all over. And it’s easier for him, and a load off your shoulders... This is what the man thinks, and the woman continues to hope for the resumption of communication. What makes the stronger half do this?
1. You may be too good for him.
Overly educated, beautiful, smart. If he feels like an unsightly simpleton with complexes next to you, then it will be difficult to maintain a relationship. You may have been smarting up too much on dates, and as we know, men don't approve of that. To feel like real machos, they need a laughing simpleton who looks with adoration and greedily catches every word. Moreover, she may be well-mannered and erudite, but she is smart enough to hide it. On the other hand, why do you need a chosen one who doesn’t live up to your standards? A man and a woman are happy in a relationship only when they either have the same level of development, or the representative of the stronger half is smarter.
2. Inflates his worth
This is very common among young people. If a guy feels like a “star” and is sure that the girl will be waiting for his call, then he will remain silent. A man does this to provoke a woman and later take her “lukewarm”. You just need to take into account that the girl may have new boyfriends during this period, and the unlucky “star” will be forgotten.
Conclusion
Of course, it is very unpleasant if a man does not want to communicate. And it doesn’t matter what stage your relationship is at. This is always a difficult situation for a woman. Try to find in this positive sides. Firstly, he may not be your dream, and now your hands are free to search for your true happiness. Secondly, there is even nobility in his action: he did not give hope and fool his head. So blow him a kiss and... forget it. Remember, if your chosen one truly loves, he will never disappoint you with a long wait.
Contents of the article:
From early childhood, we all read fairy tales about beautiful love, where an ordinary girl or princess, after going through a number of obstacles, definitely finds her love. And, despite the fact that with age we come to the realization that sometimes in life everything is a little more complicated, faith in a wonderful fairy tale always lives within us. This is why it can be very difficult to cope with losses that can happen even in the most ideal relationship. However, there is a different scenario for the development of events - it seems that there was nothing bad, no quarrels, no insults, no mutual misunderstandings, however, the man suddenly up and disappeared. Why does this happen and? Let's try to look at the situation from the point of view of a professional psychologist.
Reasons and sources
They say that any problem always has a certain core, in other words, every negative has its own source of origin. Most girls and women who are faced with the unsolved behavior of a man begin to blame themselves for what happened - it seems to them that there was something in their behavior that could frighten and alienate the chosen one. In fact, this opinion is most often wrong. But the girl is worth it.
Let's try to understand the main reasons why a man disappears:
- He is afraid of responsibility.
Perhaps this is one of the most common reasons for sudden disappearance from sight. The laws of psychology operate flawlessly: every process has a transition to a new stage of development, or its logical conclusion. Unfortunately, often, as soon as a man understands that the next stage will require a certain seriousness of intentions from him, he begins to perceive this as a limitation of his own freedom and a threat to his personal space. He may have the brightest feelings for the girl, but the thought that in order to continue the relationship, he will have to slightly change his rhythm of life may sound scary. Even if the marriage was not planned, he understands that this step is getting closer to him, but he may simply not be ready for it. And then the answer to the question of why the man disappeared is a banal psychological fear. - He has a lot of work to do.
An equally common reason is the incredible busyness of the chosen one. Even in fairy tales, the prince often has urgent matters to attend to, and even more so with the modern pace of life. It is not surprising that many careerists devote a lot of time to solving work issues, and with a busy work schedule, it is sometimes simply impossible to be distracted by personal matters, so from the outside it looks like the man has suddenly disappeared. At the same time, this does not mean that they completely forgot about you, perhaps it’s just that at this stage of his life the main role is played by conquering career heights. - He has problems.
The sudden “was there and disappeared”, “wrote every day, but then is silent”, “hasn’t called for a week” may have a fairly simple reason - your chosen one could have problems. They could start either at work, and then, based on the previous point, he will completely rush to solve them, or they could be of a personal nature. For example, problems with relatives, or with health. There are many reasons why he doesn’t want to share them with you - men are extremely laconic in expressing their own emotions and may simply be embarrassed to open their souls. Or he may simply not want to talk about everything yet. You can try to gently find out if he needs help, but don't be too persistent - this will only scare you away and make you angry. - He started an affair.
Alas, this is true. Perhaps he met a girl somewhere that he liked. It doesn’t mean that he liked you more than you, or that he no longer loves you. It may well turn out that this is for him, and perhaps this is a signal for you that, after all, love and feelings were not so strong. - He didn't take the relationship seriously and was dishonest with you from the beginning.
Another not the most pleasant reason may be his frivolity. He can be incredibly charismatic, caring and gallant, but for him this is just a beautiful performance, and as soon as he has played enough of the role of a true gentleman, he will decide to go in search of a new audience. It's hard to accept the fact that not everyone is cut out for... Serious relationships, but, alas, this is so. Why does the man suddenly disappear? Perhaps this is not abrupt for him, but simply timely and as if part of the plan. - He takes a closer look.
By nature, men are even more suspicious than women. According to American psychologists, the average man is 19% more likely to doubt his own decisions than a woman. It is not surprising that even in the best relationships, sometimes there comes a period when a man feels some frustration and wants to move away a little in order to take time to think, look at the situation from the outside and make a final decision.
The second part of the performance: appearance after disappearance
As can be seen from most of the previous points, the sudden disappearance of a man does not mean that he will not appear again. Sometimes a man appears and disappears. This can happen in a couple of days, or in a few weeks or even months. Be prepared for such a scenario. So, what should you do after a sudden appearance?
Analyze your feelings
Try to talk to yourself: if you were with a person, you definitely had feelings and... Do you want to continue, do you see a future together, or do you think this is not the best idea? Decide for yourself and if you are ready to give it a chance, there is no need to pretend that nothing happened.
Talk to the man
However, you should not swear, throw tantrums or threaten. This is not only counterproductive, but also very intimidating. Try to talk to the person, carefully find out the reasons for this behavior and understand: did he really return sincerely, or is this a new season of the show for him? And one more important point, often a man disappears as if “forays”, so don’t try to immediately find out why a man disappears periodically, why he disappears and then appears, first try to understand whether your relationship is important to him.
Take a break
They say that very often you need to think with your heart. However, the heart also needs to be given time to comprehend everything. Understand one thing: a man who once disappeared can disappear again, whether you are ready for this, whether your feelings are so strong, or whether it is all a stupid addiction. And if you decide to fight for your happiness, remember that any relationship requires serious work. There can be many reasons why a man appears and disappears, but do not rush to blame yourself for everything, remember: both sides are to blame for any misunderstanding.
Why do men disappear without explanation?
Sometimes a man disappears without explanation, SMS or any trace at all. And the worst thing is that there is only one reason: you are not that dear to him. Unfortunately, in life we sometimes meet people whose feelings are not synchronous with ours, because a person who is truly in love will never become a ghost.
There is a very instructive American film - “Promising does not mean marrying.” His main character, a young girl, is trying to find her happiness and after every failure she asks a question, and one day her acquaintance tells her that it means that she is not so dear to the men she chooses and they do not want to continue the relationship. However, in the end, he himself falls in love with her and calls her his “exception.” In other words, life scenarios can be very unpredictable and at the peak of emotions, resentment and anger, the most important thing is to try to think soberly and sensibly. Why do men disappear without explanation? Sometimes they simply have nothing to say, they just seem to be running away from themselves.
Any, even the saddest and most unhappy story about relationships and the story about “why a man disappears without explaining anything” is yours little experience and a step towards happiness. And fairy tales are not only about an ideal world, they are also about the fact that happiness, sooner or later, finds everyone. And this means that the most important thing is to believe and try to be strong, and also to know that he will never leave you alone. And if he left it, it means that this is not the hero of our fairy tale.
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Orthodox calendar
Tuesday, December 31, 2019(December 18, old style)
29th Week after Pentecost
Mchch. Sebastian and his squad: Nicostratus (treasurer), his wife Zoe, Castorius, Tranquillinus the presbyter and his sons Marcellinus and Mark, deacons, Claudius, the commander of the prisons, his son Symphorian, brother Victorinus, Tivurtius and Castulus (c. 287 or 304)
Saints' Day:
St. Modestus, Archbishop. Jerusalem (633-634). St. Flora, ep. Amy (VII). St. Michael isp (c. 845). St. Sebastian of Sokhotsky, Poshekhonsky (c. 1500). Celebrating rights. Simeon of Verkhoturye (1694).
Day of Remembrance of Confessors and New Martyrs of the Russian Church:
Mch. Viktor Matveev (1937); sschmchch. Thaddeus, Archbishop. Tverskoy, Nikolai, Archbishop. Veliky Ustyug, Elijah Benemansky, Ivan Mironsky, Vladimir Preobrazhensky and Nikolai Kobranov presbyters (1937); sschmch. Sergius Astakhov deacon and monk. Vera Trux (1942).
Christmas (Filippov) fast.
Marriages are not celebrated during the Nativity (Filippov) Fast.
Readings of the day
Gospel and Apostle:
In lit.: -Ap.: Hebrews 4:1-13 Ev.: Mark 10:2-12
Psalter:
In the morning: - Ps.46-54; Ps.55-63; Ps.64-69 For eternity: - Ps.119-133
