Arrangement method in psychology. How are Hellinger placements performed? The principle of operation of system arrangements

I really want to tell you quick way how can I get rid of:

• many diseases, including incurable ones such as cancer;
• money problems/business/career problems;
• improve your personal life/get married/have children;
• establish relationships with people/relatives/friends/enemies/neighbors, etc.

Recently I was asked to participate in an event, namely, the Hellinger Constellation. Before that, I had no idea about its existence. And what I participated in impressed me so much that now I want everyone to know about this method of getting rid of numerous problems.

For reference:

Systemic constellations according to Hellinger are a phenomenological method of systemic (family) therapy. The author of the method is the German philosopher, theologian, and psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. This method is designed to work with systemic family trauma. The purpose of the method is to correct the consequences of these dynamics. People (“deputies”) are placed in the working field of the group. The placed figures (substitutes) represent what is happening in the family system, based on information from the working field.

Based on his many work with people, Bert Hellinger found that family trauma is the cause of almost any problem: health, work, family relationships, accidents, and so on. The most important root of all problems, as Bert Hellinger explains, is the exclusion (the desire to forget) of the participants in family trauma from the family system (both victims and perpetrators). It is exclusion that causes problems for subsequent generations. As a result of working with this method, hidden system dynamics are discovered, and a solution is offered to the client.

This method of work is a short-term one-time method, which distinguishes it from existing long-term ways of working with psychotherapists with patients.

In his works, Bert Hellinger classifies this method as a spiritual practice.

It’s difficult to explain in words what happened during the arrangement itself—you have to be there, see and feel everything. I can only note that it “works” very well.

The arrangement in which I was invited to participate was staged at the Dar psychological center in Samara. The leader of the arrangement is Tatyana Gennadievna Rokhmestrova.

The person who ordered the arrangement wanted to resolve his relationship with the opposite sex through communication with his family and parents.

There were several people (about 15) in the room where I was invited.

About the arrangement: whoever ordered it had to place deputies in the field. Substitutes had to be chosen from any people present in the room and placed in any place. Do everything intuitively. For example, you need to put someone in place of your dad, mom, grandmother, etc.

Next, the deputy stood in the field and described his state, what he felt in his body, what emotions he felt (if any) for other participants, etc. The presenter smoothly guides all participants and the main “culprit” of the event all the time and helps solve the problem.

What struck me:

1. A single energy field that was created during the arrangement. It was very tangible, alive.
2. Physical condition (pain in certain areas of the body) and emotions that were present while I was a deputy. These were “not my” emotions. And the physical pain went away as soon as the arrangement was over.
3. Many “deputies” voiced very personal information about who they were replacing (what was characteristic of this person, how he treated the other participants in the arrangement, personal habits, etc.). The people who “replaced” dad and mom (who were no longer alive at that point in time), upon entering the field, immediately lay down and crossed their arms over their chests. I mean, let me explain. The person who ordered the arrangement did not tell anyone his story and his problems. At the same time, I know this family very well and, of course, was aware of this fact.

I was very impressed by what was happening and, of course, interviewed the presenter Tatyana Gennadievna. I would like to note that she is one of those few people about whom they say “glows from within.” Such a radiant person. A very friendly and pleasant woman.

Interview with Tatyana Gennadievna Rokhmestrova, psychologist of the highest category, founder of the Samara Psychological Center "Dar"

T: Tatyana Gennadievna, tell us about yourself? What is your occupation?

T.G.: I have been a practicing psychologist for 25 years. I have two higher educations, and the second is psychological. She began her activities in the 90s with professional selection at the Progress plant, then in educational institutions, in the regional center "Family", and in 2002 my colleagues and I organized the "Dar" center. All the time I practice and look for innovative methods of psychotherapy.

T: What is "Hellinger arrangement"?

T.G.: Since 2002, I have been improving my qualifications at the Moscow Institute of Consulting and System Solutions under the leadership of M.G. Burnyashev, where I also studied constellations. This is one of the officially recognized methods of psychotherapy, which combines several technologies: psychodrama, narrative therapy, gestalt therapy and body therapy. The author of the method is Bert Hellinger, from whom I studied.

T: At his place?

T.G.: Yes. He and his followers. Personally, I attended almost all of his seminars that he conducted in Moscow. It's already old man, who has been practicing for 50 years. The family constellation method became widely known in 1993 in Germany, and with extraordinary speed it spread throughout the world and won wide recognition. Halls of 500 or more people gather. He works on stage, and the whole audience is involved in such a way that some changes occur for everyone. The method is very strong, very interesting. I am passionate about it, I am happy to use it in group and individual work.

T: Have you tried it yourself?

T.G.: Yes. Thanks to him, I solved a lot of my personal problems, which was not achieved by other methods, and the training of specialists to work with constellation takes place primarily through personal experience. It is now considered a short-term therapy. Gives quick effect. For some, changes already begin “tomorrow”!

T: What problems can it solve?

T.G.: The processes occurring during the constellation allow us to see differently and re-evaluate the family’s past and the impact it has on different areas human life: partnerships, child-parent relationships, self-realization, business, meeting needs, setting goals and achieving them, identification with victims, painful separation, illnesses or symptoms, etc.

T: What are symptom constellations?

T.G.: This is working with a person’s symptom or disease. Typically, a surrogate is selected for the role of the disease and a surrogate for the client. And the client arranges these characters in such a way that it is clear who the symptom replaces or indicates who the client does not want to look at. And when the person excluded from the system takes his systemic place, the symptom begins to subside and the disease goes away.

T: And the person is cured?

T.G.: Often. Constellations according to B. Hellinger have been practiced in our center for more than eight years, every week. It works. People return to the group to solve future problems and provide positive feedback on previous requests. Almost all of them are brought here by word of mouth.

Of course, this method is not a panacea! It doesn't affect everyone much. But thanks to the arrangement, a connection is often established for a person between his illness and a familiar one. life theme, grief or pain of a loved one. Therefore, in the future, if the disease appears again, he has a different attitude towards the symptoms, an understanding of what it is connected with, and a choice of options for change.

T.: Are there people for whom constellations are contraindicated or undesirable? Or those who don't need to do this? Is there a category of such people?

T.G.: It's too early for children to do this. Although recently there has been such experience when parents came with their children adolescence. This is the method personal growth. If parents begin to solve family problems in an adult way, then it becomes easier for the children, and they begin to grow.

T.: At what age does personal growth begin?

T.G.: It's different for everyone. There are people who do not accept this method, are afraid of it, do not understand.

I like it and it helps me a lot personally (as a specialist). And when I feel the client’s strong rational defense, this method allows me to more gently approach the person’s repressed difficult feelings and help release them and restore connection with the resource part of myself.

The method gives a strong impetus, and changes begin to occur in the person. Because there is an image good decision. The image is magic! Because if a person has a goal, then his subconscious works day and night to solve the problem. While there is no goal, while there is no picture, there is nothing to decide (the arrangement creates a three-dimensional, sensual picture). And then he saw the problem from the outside and the way to solve it.

T.: Does it matter who leads the arrangement and the people who are present there?

T.G.: People in our groups are always different. There are people who have participated in constellations many times - they have some experience and trust in themselves. They already know the rules. There are also newcomers who also get into the lineup. And only because they participate in it, they develop confidence in the method. You can’t imagine this when you start to feel everything that’s happening there... it’s impossible to imagine “heaviness in your arms,” “ache” in your leg, and so on. And when they get involved, they learn very quickly. And the most important thing is that they begin to trust themselves! And this is already an element of psychotherapy. Because all our troubles come from our minds, when we exclude our own sensations and feelings, when we don’t trust our “inner child.” It always becomes easier and better for us when we meet our primary feelings, which we once abandoned and were unable to express.

T.:“Primary” – what are these feelings?

T.G.:“Primary” are, for example, pain, self-pity, helplessness, etc... We always suppress the bad, we are always distracted from it. For example: A child knocked, it hurts, and they say to him: "Oh, look what a dog ran..."

T.: So it’s normal to feel sorry for yourself, to feel sorry for yourself?

T.G.: To experience yes, but at the same time to understand what you are experiencing. Understand: "Yes, I feel sorry for myself now", what can I do for myself now? It’s already “adult-like” to understand and control yourself. And when we are constantly distracted from ourselves, we become dependent on another person. And then, not having him nearby, we feel helpless, or when he is nearby, but does not behave the way we need, then we are offended. Without realizing our feelings, we transfer them to the person with whom we are in connection. When a person dies, we say: "How sorry for him", but actually feel sorry for yourself. How will I live without him?

T.: Is it true that even by participating in the constellation as a “substitute”, a person is already solving his problems?

T.G.: Yes it is. Because “substitutes” are always chosen according to the principle of resonance. That is, if I have it in me, they will definitely choose me. And when in this arrangement I help another person solve his problems, I help myself. Then, when I find myself in the same situation in my family, I will already have experience in solving this problem. That’s why we recommend that those who do the constellations come 3 more times to participate in other people’s constellations. By participating in the constellations of others, a person strengthens his constellation, maintains the balance of “give and take,” and begins to better see his problems in someone else’s system: "Oh, that's what it was! It's about me!" And the process begins faster...

Therefore, a one-time visit to a psychologist is the beginning... It only actualizes the problem.

T.: What do you need to do to create your own arrangement? Is there any principle of action?

T.G.: First, a person must clearly formulate his request: “What do I want as a result?” He must clearly know his goal. And this is necessary in order to then choose the right deputies.

T.: And who is the “deputy”?

T.G.: A “substitute” is any person who replaces something in me: my parents, my fears, my attitudes, my symptoms, etc. Everything that is in the arrangement is all “I”. These are all parts of "Me". And “I” inside myself, with their help, restore order. "I" complete what was not completed (for various reasons). And now it's possible! And now I can look at it and find new meaning and peace of mind.

T.: Are there rules - how many people should participate in the arrangement (minimum/maximum)?

T.G.: Each arrangement requires a different number of participants. For some, 5 people are enough, and for some, 20 or more. It depends on the request and what we are doing. Therefore, the arrangements are different.

T.: Why?

T.G.: We place everyone in a certain way in the arrangement, but as soon as one starts some kind of movement, everything begins to change. And everyone behaves differently.

T.: How long does the arrangement take?

T.G.: On average one hour. In four hours we manage to make three/four arrangements.

T.: Do I need to prepare for the arrangement in advance? And in general, I decided to make an arrangement - what do I need to do for this?

T.G.: Know what is most important for you now. Because if a person does an arrangement for the sake of curiosity, there are no strong feelings and no energy (emotional energy) in it - then the arrangement turns out to be somewhat sluggish and lasts a very long time. Therefore, not all arrangements work out. When the person who orders the arrangement is worried - for me this is a good indicator - he trusts and is open. He sits down in a circle and just looks at this theater. This effect is also called "magic theater". Because the client, when he arrived, had one picture, but when the arrangement is made, the picture changes and something changes in his mind. He begins to see differently and act differently.

T.: If we talk about the soul and subtle structures, when I participated in the arrangement, I had the feeling that it was something like channeling. Because the people in the constellation voiced very truthful things about those they were replacing that they could not know about. I was amazed by this. How can you comment on this?

T.G.: I can assume that when the deputy gets into the formation, he knows nothing about the problem. He does not know what experience to apply, he only feels and enters an altered state of consciousness - trance. He lets go of control and accepts what comes from him (information). He listens to something from within. At this moment he is like a medium. When the customer of the arrangement chooses a deputy, he takes him by the shoulders and at that moment imagines in front of him the person he is placing, finds a special place for him, i.e. enters into the information field of his system, and the deputy begins to experience special sensations. And the deputy begins to show familiarity characteristics the person in whose role he is. Fantastic! But that's probably true! The phenomenological method!

Some people, after participating in a “deputy” arrangement, say: “I would never do such a thing in my life, but here now I did such a thing,” “I have never spoken like that,” “I don’t swear at all.”

T.: Do people in the arrangement swear? What other reactions are there?

T.G.: Different.

T.: What was the most surprising and unusual thing you saw in the arrangement?

T.G.: It happens that they start killing, strangling themselves or attacking someone in the arrangement. Even men lose consciousness.

T.: So it turns out that you don’t need to have some kind of gift to be a medium?

T.G.: Probably all people can do this. Because at this moment our “sensual child” turns on within us. Children, when they come to an unfamiliar place, begin to behave differently, just like animals. Because at this moment they begin to adopt what is happening there. The same principle works in the arrangement - this is the principle of resonance (resonance with nature, with the place you find yourself in, with the soul of the one you are replacing).

T.: Does it matter who leads the lineup?

T.G.: I have great confidence in this method. At first glance, everything seems easy: in fact, to do an arrangement, you need basic knowledge of psychology and systemic psychotherapy. Because if you start the arrangement the way it is going, you can mess up a lot of things, and then who knows what the person who does it will leave with. Therefore, every leader of the constellation has a systematic structure in his head ( systemic therapy), rules that were strictly taught in our seminars. Therefore, the presenter must have basic education, the ability to consult, and speak. During the arrangement, you have to select special phrases that correct the patient. Each phrase carries an energetic emotional charge. If one phrase doesn’t work, you need to select another one so that the resource movement begins... I often use those suggested by B. Hellinger.

T.: So these phrases cure the patient?

T.G.: They become affirmations for him, i.e. new thoughts for every day. For example, before the constellation, the wife always condemned her husband, and then she says to him (the person who replaces him) - "You are what I need." And in real life they are making good changes.

Therefore, when the arrangement is taking place, I watch and think all the time. The presenter must have a three-dimensional vision of the situation. I don’t ask everyone in the arrangement. Because there are significant elements and not so significant ones. It is important who and where to add to the arrangement. There is a loss of resources in the arrangement, and you need to be able to catch them in time, as there may be the opposite effect.

Experience is important here. I myself, due to inexperience, had this happen when I interrupted the arrangement in the wrong place. A person may experience severe relapses. I'm sorry, but it comes with practice.

T.: Who else is doing this in Samara?

T.G.: Certified psychologists are listed on the official website of the Moscow Institute of Consulting System Solutions (ICSR) and the Moscow Institute of Integrative family therapy, and now St. Petersburg is also preparing.

T.: Do I need to consult a psychologist before constellation?

T.G.: If a person already has the intention and trust in this method, then don’t. If complete beginners come with the intention of doing an arrangement, I always slow them down a little and ask them to watch at least one and get acquainted with the method. It was one thing that he heard about it somewhere, and another thing - he saw it with his own eyes. And very often (almost always), when a person looks at the arrangement, his request is reformulated. That is, he comes with one thing, and then realizes that something else is important to him. And this, as a rule, always has more power.

T.: Everyone has problems, and I am no exception. But the problems that I would like to solve, I am not ready to disclose publicly. Because even if you don’t tell the participants in the arrangement your problems, they will see everything anyway. How to deal with this?

T.G.: And that’s why this method exists. A problem always becomes a problem when a person begins to solve it alone. He packs it and hides it. The arrangements highlight what people hide “in the closets”. They show the hardest. And when a person can get hold of a problem and talk about it, it becomes easy for him, and it ceases to be a problem. And if a person has packed his secret, hidden it, it becomes very difficult for him and then leads to illness (mental and physical). This is what therapy exists for, to endure such difficult moments. When they come to me for a consultation and ask that everything be kept confidential “ear to ear” - this is a direct indication to bring him to the arrangement. All the secrets are revealed in the arrangement - and the secrets of birth (when there is one father, but another person is passed off as the father) - this greatly influences the person.

T.: Can this be revealed in the arrangement?

T.G.: Yes, like adoption, imprisonment, murder, suicide. And here you know how they treat suicides - everyone in the family begins to hide this fact and come up with something else.

T.: If we talk about magic, sometimes a person is haunted by failures, the so-called " black line"When you have bad luck everywhere, like a curse. Is it possible to get rid of this with an arrangement?

T.G.: It is possible to look into yourself, because this is a method of knowing yourself.

T.: And when there are problems in your personal life, in business, and with health? How then to set the arrangement?

T.G.: Then all the topics need to be discussed and find out what is more critical? Where is there more suffering? This is where we start.

T.: Is man himself the cause of his troubles?

T.G.: A person is certainly responsible for himself, but he is always in some kind of connection, supporting someone or supporting him. Sometimes a person cannot be successful if everyone in the family is poor. The installation works: “I can’t be happy when everyone in my family is unhappy.” This is called loyalty to the system.

T.: Can a problem on one topic be solved in one arrangement, or do several need to be done?

T.G.: Usually one topic is enough, but at the same time, topics are related to each other.

T.: Thank you for your interview. Your wishes to the readers of the portal...

T.G.: Thank you for the interesting conversation, questions and interest in us.

I would be glad if the readers of the portal take the opportunity to apply this wonderful method in the path of self-knowledge to achieve their goals.

In psychotherapy in the early nineties of the last century there appeared new method, which is called the “Hellinger arrangement”. Having received its name thanks to the founder, it is successfully used by specialists today. Moreover, every year it is becoming more and more popular, since its use, oddly enough for many, is striking in its effectiveness. Followers appear, specialists are trained.

B. Hellinger at one time attended and mastered a course of psychoanalysis, family and gestalt therapy. Having summarized his knowledge and skills, he (together with like-minded people) created a method of constellations that is based on the synthesis of all trends in psychology.

He was able to identify patterns that lead families to destructive conflicts. This method is used with equal success in both group and individual work. Clients can be persons over 14 years of age who really want to find solutions to their problem. You should not attend such classes out of idle curiosity, since the main thing here is positive motivation, not skepticism. Hellinger constellations help to deal with problems in family relationships, work well in the presence of various fears when working with fears, applicable for a team. When working through these problems Special attention paid to confidentiality and non-disclosure of information obtained during therapy. This is a professional psychotherapeutic method, in their work it is used by those who have undergone appropriate training, since the interpretation of the results and the placement itself depends on the experience of the specialist.

Hellinger's constellations are as follows: first, the psychotherapist's client selects from a group of people those who, in his opinion, are most suitable for working through a specific situation.

Next, he arranges them in the space allocated for work, as his own intuition tells him. This is where the work begins. People or figures (if we're talking about about individual psychotherapy), placed by the client in space, are a reflection of the subconscious image problematic situation.

The amazing thing is that substitutes (people whom the client chooses for placement) play the role of a person about whom they know absolutely nothing, but, nevertheless, they accurately reproduce the person they are replacing.

Hellinger constellations are a unique and unusual method; it works despite its apparent pseudo-science and shades of esotericism.

Bert Hellinger and his method

German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger born into a Catholic family on December 16, 1925 in Leimen (Baden, Germany). He became widely known thanks to a therapeutic method called systemic-family constellations. Numerous practicing professionals around the world continue to successfully apply and adapt the constellation method to a range of personal, organizational and political situations.

At the age of ten, Bert Hellinger left his home to attend school at a Catholic monastery. Bert was later ordained and sent to South Africa as a missionary, where he lived for 16 years. He was parish priest, teacher, and finally director of a large school for African students, with administrative responsibility for the entire area of ​​the diocese, which had 150 schools. Hellinger became fluent in the Zulu language, took part in their rituals, and began to understand their special way of looking at the world.

In the early 1960s, Bert Hellinger took part in a series of interracial ecumenical teachings in group dynamics conducted by Anglican clergy. The instructors worked with the direction of phenomenology - they dealt with the issue of identifying what is necessary from all the available diversity, without intention, fear and prejudice, relying only on what is clear. Their methods showed that it was possible to reconcile opposites through mutual respect. One day, one of the instructors asked the group: “What is more important to you, your ideals or people? Which of these would you sacrifice for another? For Hellinger this was not just a philosophical mystery - he keenly felt how the Nazi regime sacrificed human beings for the sake of ideals. “In a way, this question changed my life. Since then, the main direction that has shaped my work has been a people orientation,” said Bert Hellinger.

After he left his job as a priest, he met his future first wife, Hertha. They married soon after his return to Germany. Bert Hellinger studied philosophy, theology and pedagogy.

In the early 1970s, Hellinger completed a classical training course in psychoanalysis at the Vienna Association for Psychoanalysis (Wiener Arbeitskreis für Tiefenpsychologie). He completed his training at the Munich Institute for the Training of Psychoanalysts (Münchner Arbeitsgemeinschaft für Psychoanalyse) and was accepted as a practicing member of their professional association.

In 1973 Bert traveled to the United States to continue his studies with Arthur Yanov in California. He studied group dynamics intensively, became a psychoanalyst and introduced elements of primary therapy into his work, transactional analysis, Ericksonian hypnosis and NLP.

By the 1980s, Burt had identified patterns that lead to tragic conflicts between family members. Based on his discoveries, he developed effective methods for overcoming family conflicts, which are becoming increasingly popular, going beyond the scope of family counseling.

Bert Hellinger's insightful vision and actions speak directly to the soul, releasing forces of an intensity rarely seen in psychotherapy. His ideas and discoveries about intergenerational interweavings open up a new dimension to therapeutic work with tragic family histories, and his solutions found through the method of “family constellation” are moving, amazingly simple and very effective.

Bert agreed to record and edit a series of recorded seminar material for the German psychiatrist Gunthard Weber. Weber published the book himself in 1993, entitled Zweierlei Gluck ["Two Kinds of Happiness"]. The book was received enthusiastically and quickly became a national bestseller.

Bert Hellinger and his second wife Maria Sophia Hellinger (Erdody) head the Hellinger School. He travels a lot, gives lectures, conducts training courses and seminars in Europe, the USA, Central and South America, Russia, China and Japan.

Bert Hellinger is a special, iconic figure of modern psychotherapy. His discovery of the nature of adopted feelings, the study of the influence on a person various types conscience (children's, personal, family, tribal), the formulation of the basic laws governing human relationships (orders of love), puts him on a par with such outstanding researchers of the human psyche as 3. Freud, C. Jung, F. Perls, Ya. L. Moreno, K. Rogers, S. Grof and others. The value of his discoveries has yet to be fully appreciated by future generations of psychologists and psychotherapists.

B. Hellinger’s systemic therapy is not just another speculative theory, but is the fruit of his many years practical work with people. Many patterns human relations, were first noted and tested in practice and only then generalized. His views do not contradict other therapeutic approaches, such as psychoanalysis, Jungian analysis, Gestalt, psychodrama, NLP, etc., but complement and enrich them. Today, with the help of systematic work according to B. Hellinger, it is possible to solve such human problems that ten years ago baffled even the most experienced specialists.

Method of systemic arrangement according to Helinger.

Family constellation becomes Bert Hellinger's main method of work and he develops this method by combining two basic principles:

1) Phenomenological approach- following what appears in the work, without preliminary concepts and further interpretations

2) Systems approach- consideration of the client and his stated topic for work in the context of the client’s relationships with members of his family (system).

Method work family constellations Bert Hellinger's method consisted of selecting participants in the group - substitute members of the client's family and placing them in space using very discreet expressive means- only the direction of gaze, without any gestures or posture.

Hellinger discovered that when the facilitator and group work slowly, seriously, and respectfully, surrogate family members feel the same as their real counterparts, despite the fact that they are unfamiliar and no information about them is available.

This phenomenon has been called “vicarious perception”, and the place from which the information comes is called the field (knowing field or morphic field - Rupert Sheldrake’s term). Scientific lack of evidence and insufficient experience in field research is the main criticism of the family (systemic) method. However, in the practice of recent decades, experience has been accumulated that allows constellations to trust the information of the field and follow it in their work.

In the process of gaining experience and observations, Bert Hellinger finds and formulates several laws operating in systems, the violation of which leads to phenomena (“dynamics”) presented by clients as problems. Following the laws, the first experience of which the client receives in the constellation, allows one to restore order in the system and helps to facilitate system dynamics and resolve the problem presented. These laws are called Orders of Love.

Accumulated observations show that systems approach and vicarious (field) perception also manifest themselves in non-family systems (organizations, “internal parts of the personality,” abstract concepts such as “war” or “fate”), and not only with direct substitution in a group, but also with other methods work (work in an individual format without a group, work with figures on the table or with large objects on the floor). Increasingly, the family constellation method is being used to make business and organizational decisions ("organizational constellations" or "business constellations").

What problems does the Hellinger arrangement method work with?

First of all, with adopted feelings - repressed, not fully experienced, blocked or prohibited by society feelings that our ancestors experienced.

The adopted feelings are stored in the family system, as in an “information bank,” and can later manifest themselves in their children, grandchildren, and sometimes even great-grandchildren. A person is not aware of the nature of these feelings; he perceives them as his own, since he often simply grows up in their “field” and absorbs them with his mother’s milk. And only when we become adults do we begin to suspect that something is wrong here. Many people are familiar with such feelings; they visit us as if spontaneously and are not related to the events that are currently happening around us. Sometimes the intensity of the feelings we experience is so great that we realize the inadequacy of our reaction, but often, alas, we cannot do anything “with ourselves.” We tell ourselves that this won’t happen again next time, but as soon as we loosen control, it happens again.

It is also difficult for a psychologist or psychotherapist, if he has not undergone systematic training, to understand the nature of the adopted feelings. And if you don’t understand the cause of the problem, you can work with it for years. Many clients, not seeing the result, leave everything as it is, suppressing the feeling, but it will appear again in one of their children. And it will appear again and again until the source and recipient of the adopted feeling is found in the family system.

For example, due to some circumstances, a woman’s husband died early, and she is sad for him, but does not openly show her sadness, because she thinks that this will upset the children. Subsequently, this feeling may be adopted by one of her children or grandchildren. And this woman’s granddaughter, who from time to time experiences “unreasonable” sadness towards her husband, may not even be aware of its true reason.

Another theme that often appears in systemic work is the contradiction between the individual and the family (system). Bert Hellinger calls this working with the boundaries of conscience. It is generally accepted that conscience is an exclusively individual quality. But it is not so. In fact, conscience is formed by the experience of previous generations (family, clan), and is only felt by a person belonging to a family or clan. Conscience reproduces in subsequent generations those rules that previously helped the family survive or achieve something. However, living conditions are changing rapidly, and modern reality requires a revision of the old rules: what helped before is now becoming a hindrance.

For example, the conscience of many Russian families contains a “recipe for survival” in times of repression. We remember from history what fate befell many bright and extraordinary personalities. In those difficult years, in order to survive, a person had to not stand out, to be like everyone else. Then it was justified and entered into the family’s “memory bank” as a rule. And its implementation is monitored by conscience. Nowadays, the same mechanism continues to operate and leads to the fact that a person does not realize himself as an individual. Conscience blindly controls us with the help of feelings of guilt and innocence, and a person from a family that has experienced the fear of reprisals will experience inexplicable discomfort (feel guilty) if he strives to realize himself. And vice versa, he will feel comfortable if he does not strive for anything. Thus, personal aspirations and the conscience of the family come into conflict. And if you do not take into account the family's past, it is difficult to understand why this happens.

Separately, I would like to say that B. Hellinger points out a path to the spiritual that is accessible to many. After all, liberation from adopted feelings is tantamount to the end of the struggle in a person’s soul, and he begins to live his own life, realize his own goals. And accepting a sense of humility and gratitude to parents, one’s family and clan provides a reliable rear and allows us to use the accumulated family resources and energy to realize these goals, which greatly increases our chances of success. This gives us the opportunity to explore new horizons in life, gain new experiences, and discover new opportunities. And in case of failure, a loving family provides us with a “safe haven” where we can heal our wounds and restore strength to once again set sail across the vast expanses of life.

The family constellation method allows you to return to the past and relive the feelings that our ancestors experienced. It makes it possible to take an impartial look at what happened, return our ancestors to their dignity and see a solution to the problems that we are experiencing now. Constellations will help you understand relationships with loved ones, improve them, avoid mistakes and, perhaps, make your life a little happier.

Mikhail Burnyashev, Ph.D., family therapist

Taking a phenomenological approach, Hellinger points out the various aspects of conscience, which acts as an “organ of balance” with the help of which we are able to feel whether we are living in harmony with our system or not.

The key words in Hellinger's family therapy are conscience and order. Conscience protects the rules of living together within the framework of personal relationships. Having a clear conscience means only one thing: I am sure that I still belong to my system. And a "troubled conscience" means the risk that I may no longer be allowed to belong to this system. Conscience reacts not only to the right of membership in the system, but also to the balance between the amount of what the individual has given to other members in his system and what he has received from them.

Each of these functions of conscience is guided and carried out by different feelings of innocence and guilt. Hellinger highlights an important aspect of conscience - conscious and unconscious, unconscious conscience. When we follow the conscious conscience, we violate the rules of the hidden conscience, and despite the fact that according to the conscious conscience we feel ourselves innocent, the hidden conscience punishes such behavior as if we were still guilty.

The conflict between these two types of conscience is the basis of all family tragedies. Such a conflict leads to tragic interweavings that cause serious illnesses, accidents and suicides in families. The same conflict leads to a number of tragedies in relationships between a man and a woman - for example, when relationships between partners are destroyed, despite the strong mutual love that exists between them.

Hellinger came to these conclusions not only through the use of the phenomenological method, but also thanks to the extensive practical experience gained during family constellations.

An amazing fact obtained by participating in the constellation is the fact that the resulting force field or “controlling knowing Soul” finds solutions that significantly exceed those that we could invent ourselves. Their impact is much stronger than that what we could achieve through planned action.

From the point of view of systemic family therapy, a person’s feelings, thoughts, and actions are determined by the system. Individual events are determined by the system. Our connections are expanding in ever increasing circles. We are born into a small group - our family of origin - and this determines our relationships. Then other systems come and, in the end, the turn of the universal system comes. In each of these systems, orders operate differently. Among the conditions given to us necessary for good relations between parents and children include the following: affection, balance between “giving” and “taking” and order.

Affection is the first thing basic condition for the relationship to work out. Primary love, the attachment of a child to his parents.

Balance between giving and taking.

Relationships between partners can develop normally, if I give something to you, you return a little more as a sign of gratitude, in turn I also give you a little more, and so the relationship develops cyclically. If I give too much and you can't give me as much, then the relationship falls apart. If I don’t give anything, then they also fall apart. Or, on the contrary, you give me too much, and I cannot return so much to you, then the relationship also falls apart.

When balance is impossible.

This balancing of “giving” and “taking” is possible only between equals. It looks different between parents and children. Children cannot return anything of equal value to their parents. They would love to, but they can’t. Here there is such a gap between “take” and “give”, which cannot be eliminated. Although parents receive something from their children, and teachers from their students, this does not restore balance, but only softens its absence. Children are always in debt to their parents. The solution is for children to pass on what they receive from their parents, and first of all to their children, that is, to the next generation. At the same time, the child takes care of his parents as much as he sees fit.

As an example, we can cite the Georgian parable:

The mother eagle raised three chicks and is now preparing them for flight. She asks the first chick: “Will you take care of me?” “Yes, mom, you took such good care of me that I will take care of you too,” replies the first chick. She lets him go, and he flies into the abyss. It's the same story with the second chick. The third responds: “Mom, you took care of me so well that I will take care of my children.”

Compensation in the negative.

If someone hurts me and I hurt them just as much, then the relationship ends. Biblical "eye for an eye." If I cause him a little less, then this pays tribute not only to justice, but also to love. Gospel: If you are hit on the cheek, offer the other one. Sometimes getting angry is necessary to save a relationship. But here it means to be angry with love, because these relationships are important to a person.

In order for the relationship to continue, there is a rule: in positive attitude out of precaution they return a little more, in a negative precaution - a little less. If parents do something bad to their children, then the children cannot return or do harm to them as compensation. The child has no right to this, no matter what the parents do. The gap is too big for that.

However, it is possible to solve the problem by more high level. We can overcome this blind compulsion to balance through the bad with the help of a higher order, namely one of the orders of love. Not just love, but a higher order of love, within the framework of which we recognize both our own fate and the fate of another, loved one, as two different destinies independent of each other and submit to both of them with humility.

In the process of rearranging the family, Hellinger restores the balance, the order that was disrupted in the system. At the same time, he describes the existing procedures:

1. Accessories. Members of the same genus, regardless of whether they are living or already dead, usually include:

The child and his brothers and sisters;

Parents and their brothers and sisters;

Grandmothers and grandfathers;

Sometimes one of the great-grandparents.

In addition, the parental system may have stillborn children, unborn children due to miscarriage or abortion.

Usually the victims belong to the abuser's system and vice versa.

In order for personal relationships to develop successfully, three conditions must be met: affection, balance between “give” and “take” and order.

Everyone belonging to the same clan has an equal right to belong, and no one can or has the right to deny them this. As soon as someone appears in the system who says: “I have more rights to belong to this system than you,” he disrupts order and brings discord into the system. If, for example, someone forgets an early deceased sister or a stillborn child, and someone, as if by itself, takes the place of the former spouse and naively proceeds from the fact that now he has more rights to belong than the one who made room, then he sins against order. Then this often affects itself in such a way that in one or subsequent generations someone, without noticing it, repeats the fate of the person who was deprived of the right to belong.

Thus, belonging is violated if a person is excluded from the system. How can I do that? You can be sent to a mental hospital, write a waiver of parental rights, divorce, abortion, emigration, missing, lost, died and forgotten.

The main fault of any system is that it excludes someone from the system, although he has the right to belong to the system, and all the above-mentioned members of the clan have the right to belong.

2. Law of Integers. Any individual member of the system feels whole and complete if all those who belong to his system, to his family, have a good and honorable place in his soul and heart, if there they retain all their dignity. Everyone should be here. He who cares only about his "I" and his narrow individual happiness feels incomplete.

A classic example relates to my patients from single-parent families. In Russian culture, it is accepted that after a divorce, children most often remain with their mother. At the same time, the father is, as it were, excluded from the system, and often the mother tries to erase him from the child’s consciousness. As a result, when the child grows up, he knows little about his own father, who has lost the right to belong to his system. The situation may also be aggravated by the fact that the stepfather will try to claim the place of the natural father in the child’s soul. Typically, such children are constrained and unsure of themselves, weak-willed, passive, and have difficulties communicating with people. The feeling from such a patient is that he has little energy to achieve something in life, this energy should have come from his own father and his family, but it is blocked.

Hence the task of psychotherapy: to find a person against whom injustice was committed and restore it, return him to the system.

3. Law of priority of earlier. Existence is determined by time. With the help of time it receives rank and structure. Who appeared in the system earlier has an advantage over those who come later. Therefore, parents go before their children, and the first-born comes before the second-born. The first partner has an advantage over the second.

If a subordinate interferes in the area of ​​a superior, for example, a son is trying to atone for his father's guilt or be best husband for mom, then he considers himself entitled to do what he has no right to do, and this person often unconsciously reacts to such arrogance with the need for collapse or death. Since this comes mainly from love, we do not recognize it as guilt. Such relationships always play some role where there is a bad ending, when someone, for example, goes crazy, commits suicide or becomes a criminal.

Suppose a man and a woman lost their first partners and both had children, and now they get married and the children remain with them in their new marriage. Then the husband's love for his children cannot go through the new wife, and the wife's love for her children cannot go through this husband. In this case, love for your own child from a previous relationship takes precedence over love for your partner. This is a very important principle. You shouldn’t be attached to this as a dogma, but many violations in relationships, when parents live with children from previous marriages, occur because the partner begins to be jealous of the children, and this is unjustified. Priority for children. If this order is recognized, then in most cases everything turns out well.

Right order is almost intangible and cannot be proclaimed. This is something other than a rule of the game that can be changed. The orders are unchanged. For the sake of order, it doesn’t matter how I behave. He always stays in place. I can't break him, I can only break myself. It is established for a long or short period, and to submit to the order is a very humble performance. This is not a limitation. It's like you step into a river and it carries you along. In this case, there is still a certain freedom of action. This is something different than when order is proclaimed.

4. Hierarchy of family systems. For systems, subordination is the opposite of hierarchical order in developed relationships. The new system takes precedence over the old one. When a person starts a family, his new family has priority over the natural families of the spouses. This is what experience shows.

If a husband or wife has a child with another partner while they are married, he or she should leave that marriage and move in with a new partner, no matter how difficult it may be for everyone. But this same event can also be considered as an extension existing system. Then, although the new system appears last and the partners must remain in it, this system is lower in rank than the old one. Then, for example, the former wife has priority over the new one. However, the new one replaces the old one.

5. Ancestral conscience. Just as personal conscience ensures that the conditions of attachment, balance and order are observed, so there is also a clan or group conscience, that authority that guards the system, is in the service of the clan as a whole, makes sure that the system remains in order or comes into order, and takes revenge for violations of order in the system. It acts completely differently. While individual conscience manifests itself through feelings of comfort and discomfort, pleasure and displeasure, the ancestral conscience is not felt. Therefore, it is not feelings that help to find a solution here, but only recognition through comprehension.

This tribal conscience takes care of those people whom we have excluded from our soul and our consciousness, either because we want to resist their fate, or because other members of the family or clan have done something wrong to them, and the guilt has not been named and certainly not accepted and not redeemed. Or maybe because they had to pay for what we took and received without thanking them for it or giving them credit for it.

6. Love and order. Many problems arise because we believe that we can overcome the order prevailing in families through internal reflection, effort or love - for example, as the Sermon on the Mount instructs. In fact, order is the principle on which everything is built, and does not allow itself to be replaced by love.

Love is part of order. Order was established before love, and love can only develop within the framework of order. Order is the first principle. Every time a person tries to reverse this order and change the order through love, he fails. It's unavoidable. Love fits in certain order- to a place where it can develop, just as a seed falls into the soil - a place where it can germinate and develop.

7. Intimate sphere. The child should not know any intimate details of the parents’ love affair. This is not his business, nor does it concern third parties. If one of the partners tells anyone about the details of their intimate life, then this is a violation of trust leading to bad consequences. First of all, to the destruction of communication. Intimate details belong only to those involved in this relationship. For example, it is unacceptable for a man to tell his second wife intimate details of his relationship with his first wife. Everything that belongs to the intimate relationship between a man and a woman must remain secret. If parents tell their children everything, it will lead to bad consequences for the children. Thus, in the event of a divorce, the child is presented with a fait accompli, and the reasons do not concern him. You cannot force a child to choose which parent to live with. This is too heavy a load for him. It is better when the child stays with the parent who respects the partner more, since he can pass this love on to the child.

If the mother had an abortion, then the children should not know anything about it. This is part of the intimate bond between parents. As for the therapist, he also needs to tell only what would not undermine the partner’s dignity. Otherwise the connection will be destroyed.

8. Balance. The system strives to equalize the balance: children are the first to strive to equalize it. They seek to protect or begin to get sick. Illness often represents an excluded family member.

When the balance is poorly aligned, we understand where love goes: love leaves, and it is directed towards another object.

9. Incest. For example, the wife did not say goodbye to her first partner in the shower, so the husband is lonely. Then the daughter says: I love you so much that I will replace your mother. Incest occurs. If the patient complains about his father or mother, then first you need to restore the figure of the parent in his eyes.

A family member has three opportunities to balance the balance with love:

1. I love you so much that I'm leaving for you.
For example, a client with bronchial asthma said that she was three years old when her father fell ill first with the flu, then with pneumonia, and finally died of pneumonia. After which she also fell ill with the flu and pneumonia and was admitted to intensive care with an attack of bronchial asthma.

2. I love you so much that I'm leaving in your place. I'm better than you.
For example, a daughter cannot accept the idea that her mother will die soon and dies before her mother.

3. I love you so much that I will atone for your guilt.
The ancestral conscience seeks to restore balance by caring for those who have been excluded from the system, those who are misunderstood and forgotten, those who have not been given their due, and those who are dead.

If someone who belongs to the system, or someone who should belong to it, is for some reason excluded from it, if he is denied the right to belong because others despise him or do not want to admit that he gave a place appeared later or that they still owe him something, then the tribal conscience chooses for itself someone innocent from among those born later, who, under its pressure, imitates this person through identification, and imitates conscientiously. He didn't choose it, he doesn't notice it, and he can't resist. He thus reanimates someone else's fate, the fate of someone who was excluded, and once again plays out this fate with all its guilt, innocence and unhappiness, with all the feelings and everything that relates to it.

Another situation that becomes the main cause of violations at the individual level is “interrupted movement towards...”. This is a situation in which a person is childhood was stopped in his movement towards some person (most often this is the mother). This may be due to a hospital stay or separation due to other reasons, or to events that were associated with strong feeling rejection.

And when, as an adult, this person goes to someone, that is, is in a “movement towards ...”, at some point memories of that situation arise in him, even if just as a bodily memory, but he reacts with those feelings and symptoms as in childhood. For example, bronchial asthma is often a manifestation of interrupted movement towards the mother, and when the asthmatic has a threat of loss loved one, often this is a lover, he reacts with a severe attack of bronchial asthma and ends up in intensive care.

It could also be a headache, cramps, or self-harm. important decisions(for example: “I will never show weakness again,” or “This won’t help anyway”). Instead of continuing to "move toward..." until it leads to the goal, the person steps back and begins to move in a circle until he returns to the same place. This is the secret of neurosis. When such a person becomes emotional, the voice of a child appears in him, and then one can ask how old this voice is. This is usually early, unconscious trauma.

The solution here is for this person to become that child again, and already, being that child, complete the interrupted “movement towards...”. At this moment, the client acquires a decisively new experience, and it is much easier for him to succeed in subsequent “movements towards...”.

These, and many other topics, are best considered and resolved through practical participation in systemic family constellations according to Helinger.

Literature:

B. Hellinger. Orders of Love. Resolution of family-systemic conflicts and contradictions. M., Publishing House of the Institute of Psychotherapy, 2001.

B. Hellinger. Orders of Love. How life and love work together. Institute of Consulting and System Solutions, 2007.

The article was prepared based on materials found in the public domain on the Internet.

For our country, the method of systemic constellations according to Hellinger is a rather new and not fully tested method. In Germany, their homeland, constellations began to be used in the 90s of the last century, and in a fairly short time this psychotherapeutic technique simply conquered the whole world. The Hellinger arrangement method is used for treatment a variety of problems - problems in love relationships, difficulties at work, family conflicts. And also during the treatment of various diseases, primarily drug addiction and alcoholism.

Hellinger Constellations: General Information

Bert Hellinger formulated certain patterns and laws that lead to negative events and conflicts between colleagues or spouses. The scientist worked for quite a long time on the following questions: “Is there a system that governs relationships?”, “How does conscience (family or personal) influence the life of an individual?”, “How does the adoption of feelings occur?” In fact, these are only a few of Hellinger's many teachings.

Today, the Hellinger method is becoming increasingly popular. With the help of constellations, a huge number of people were able to find the origins their problems and resolve them. Many practicing psychologists are increasingly using the Hellinger method in their work with individuals, couples or groups.

“Arrangement” is the place of the individual in space. The method itself is similar to playing chess. That is, all participants are assigned a specific role that reflects a subconscious image in a situation that requires elaboration. This may not only be a family problem, but also business failures and team problems.

There are several main varieties arrangements, but each involves improvisation and a creative approach:

• structural(treatment of drug addiction and alcoholism, getting rid of fears, solving problems at work);
• family(resolving family quarrels);
• organizational(solving problems in work teams).

Resolving family conflicts

So, a man comes to a psychologist with some problem. First of all, the doctor has a short conversation with him, during which it is determined whether he needs an arrangement or whether everything is much simpler. Because sometimes a person can be guided simple advice– and life will return to normal. But if the situation is complex, then a more detailed conversation is held with the client. First of all, it is determined directly problem.

For example, a man drinks, his wife nags him every day and says that all the problems in the family are related to his alcoholism. However, the man does not think so, since before the wedding he did not drink such amounts of alcohol.

The psychologist asks the client to tell him about his lifestyle. Hellinger arrangements need systematic consideration situations. That is, it is necessary to determine:

• what each spouse does every day;
• what causes conflicts;
• what kind of relationship do the spouses have in general;
• whether in family life people are themselves or play someone else’s roles.

The psychologist examines the wife's and husband's parents separately. How did they behave in the family with each other? If it is determined that on the husband’s side, the mother and father lived ideally, and there were no issues with alcoholism, then the greatest attention is paid to the wife’s relatives.

Having previously understood the situation at the first appointment, the psychotherapist recommends that the man come to the next conversation with his wife. Since the “root of evil” is most likely in her, it will not be possible to get rid of it without her participation.

Family constellations

So, when a couple is trying to save their marriage, the wife of the drinking husband comes with him to a psychotherapist for help. During the conversation it may become clear that the woman copies unconsciously her mother's behavior, that is, she took on her role.

Since that one family life didn’t work out, and she constantly asked her daughter: “Look, all men are the same. Your father is like the rest. He drinks and brings home pennies.” With an imposed opinion, the daughter grows up with the men around her involuntarily notes only negative traits.

Still, the girl begins a relationship with the guy she likes. After a while she marries him, but soon it seems to her that this man is not “her man” at all. No matter what he does, everything seems negative to her.

It seems that the husband is not so bad, his positive qualities significantly exceed his shortcomings. However, the woman retains internal aggression and sends negativity to her husband on a subconscious level. The man picks up this signal, understands that his partner hates him, and over time tries to seek solace in alcohol. This allows him to forget for a certain time, but the problem is not solved.

Further actions

The Hellinger method involves playing roles. The doctor invites the husband and wife to play out a certain situation. For example, he asks a woman to tell her how she behaves at work. The woman comments on her communication with colleagues, work behavior, and it turns out that at work the patient is “white and fluffy.”

What changes when a woman crosses the threshold of a house? Why does a husband's appearance irritate a woman? The couple plays out the conflict scene in front of a psychologist. A woman tells her husband a standard phrase: “If I would stop drinking, everything would be fine.”

At this point, the psychologist asks the couple to stop. Systemic arrangements require timely focus on important point. In this example, that time has come.

The doctor says: “Let's try to determine the source of the problem that forces the man to drink.” Then all the reasons that contribute to this are crossed out. For example, the following are excluded:

• big financial problems;
• health problems;
• conflicts at work for men, etc.

What remains? The man openly says that he is depressed by the constant wife's dissatisfaction who always finds fault with something or, conversely, is constantly silent and avoids sexual intimacy. In this situation, the partner suffers from a lack of female attention. Often, women, out of a sense of resentment or lack of love for their partner, punish their chosen one in this way. They overload themselves with household chores or actively sublimate their energy into caring for children. At the same time, the spouse is trying to get some kind of positive mood by drinking alcohol. A vicious circle appears.

Subsequently, systemic arrangements imply an in-depth study of this situation. In this case, the psychologist tries to instill in the woman the idea of ​​​​the need to get rid of the attitude that her mother involuntarily set.

Wife provokes by her behavior, a man is forced to drink alcohol, that is, he forces him to play the role of her drinking father. If at the same time the wife still has a certain grudge against her husband, then during the session it is proposed to get rid of it. “It is very important to free yourself from negativity,” says Hellinger himself. Family constellations offer many techniques in this regard.

In reality, the whole process is quite complicated. In the history of this couple, the psychologist will have to give the heroes many “roles”, so that there is an equal exchange of energy between the spouses.

The effect of egregor on people

After carrying out a systemic alignment, people are often surprised: “Why did I reason with other people’s thoughts?”, “How did it happen that I began to play a role that was not my own in life?” In reality, not many people think about whether he actually does what he wants and lives as he wishes.

What we find most often is that our daily actions, feelings, and thoughts borrowed many from the people around us: the team, one’s own family and society as a whole. In other words, some energy-information space (egregor) directly affects the personality.

Any society (collective) is subject to a certain value system. The impact of egregor can be both positive and negative. Everyone creates a personal value system. For example, a church egregor tries to influence people through sermons. And each terrorist organization develops its own egregor, manipulating the subconscious of its participants with some theory. In some cases, strong personalities create their own egregors and influence others. This individual must be very energy intensive, since its goal is to influence and lead, to manage a large number of energy flows.

Family egregors

The family clan is a system with its own specific tasks. And family members (father, mother, daughter, son) are elements that are required to perform certain functions. What happens when someone gets knocked out of the system? For example, the son, despite family tradition I didn’t want to become a military man, but my father really wanted it.

In this case, the role of the son may distribute between the rest of the family or to play the game: the daughter marries a military man. The father is happy, tries to establish strong contact with his son-in-law and shares plans for the future to continue the military line.

The Hellinger arrangement method deeply addresses the problem of the younger and older generations. Can this method help everyone? The reviews are completely different. But many agree that family egregors can negatively impact their descendants.

For example, a young girl is very unhappy in her marriage. All methods of restoring relationships do not produce results; violence and rudeness occur in the family. The only way out is divorce. However, the older generation of this girl unanimously says: “There were no divorced people in our family, as this is a shame.”

Thus, this girl’s family egregor demands submission and dictates its principles to her. Only abandoning the role of “victim” and a complete rethink will help this person make a decision to start a different life.

Egregor by inheritance

The Hellinger Method helps many couples and individuals determine the origins of evil. Let us give another example of a problem with which men often turn to psychotherapists.

So, a conventional young man comes to a psychotherapist who cannot understand his behavior towards women. After multiple divorces, he was faced with the fact that his partners were leaving him because unmotivated aggression. In other areas of life the man turned out to be positive. During a conversation with a psychologist, it turned out that in the past the man had “unconsciously” set himself up for revenge. How did it happen?

Most often in this case it turns out that the man grew up in a family in which the father was constantly depressed and humiliated by his wife. The boy could not resist his mother to protect his father. So, as he grew older, he developed his plan ( attitude towards revenge).

This situation led to the fact that, being in relationships with girls, he periodically felt strong hatred towards them. When the right situation arose, he took out his anger on them with his fists. The systemic arrangement should show the guy that these feelings do not belong to him. They are fixed and inspired in the subconscious from distant childhood. But the man has a different situation, and the girls have a different character than his mother. And the most important thing is that he can be happy only when he understands this and begins to change.

This is gradual process. A lot will depend on the natural temperament of a person. Some people need two sessions, while others need much more. The Hellinger method is different in that, knowing family systems, a person can avoid failures in life, as well as protect the future generation from them.

Group classes

The phenomenon of such activities is that a group of people play the roles of actors in the problem of one person. The cases can be different: a person is constantly sick, cannot find a partner, or has difficulties with money.

The constellation method is difficult to explain in detail, but it works according to the following scenario: various roles are distributed among the group. And they begin to feel similar emotions of the person who asked for help. The phenomenon is called " vicarious perception».

Thus, there is a transfer from the client’s internal images to all participants. People who are chosen to play certain roles are called " deputies" During the session, they describe their condition out loud, trying to restore the situation that is a problem for the person.

Hellinger constellations enable a person to unravel the tangle conflict situations, correctly build a hierarchy and restore energy. The method is built by moving "substituents".

The session is considered successful when all participants do not feel discomfort. And most importantly, the client should experience psychological and physical relief.

Arrangement using Tarot cards

Not every person can openly tell a group of people about his problem. In this case, the client can take part in a group session, but at his request, hidden arrangement. Thus, a person independently regulates the openness of information. An excellent way out of this situation is a systematic arrangement using Tarot cards.

IN in this case the deck is diagnostic tool process. A person is asked: “What is the meaning of the problem?” The client, without looking, selects a card and describes what he saw on it. “Deputies” are also selected taking into account the selected arcana. A person, according to his problem, with the help of the facilitator’s prompts, indicates to all participants where to stand and what needs to be done.

Further action - emotional play situations. “Deputies” share their impressions: “I had a feeling that...”, “I thought now that...”. At this time, the client is also included in the discussion. He listens to the opinion of each participant and takes the place whose participant hurt his emotions the most. And given his new role, he says the words that are important to him.

Individual arrangement

Can on one's own conduct this session, since not everyone has the opportunity to work in a group. In this case, independent systematic arrangement is possible. However, for this it is necessary to become thoroughly familiar with Hellinger’s theory.

So, the problem is defined, and cards will be used as “substitutes”. The process has three stages:

A less dedicated person may think that a fortune-telling session is taking place, but this is not true. The individual method of arrangement using the Tarot is shown only professionals. Others are advised to resort to this method under the guidance of an experienced psychotherapist.

Today, this method is becoming increasingly popular and is developing technically and methodologically in the works of Hellinger himself, who develops constellations today, as well as through the efforts of other constellations that have “groped” their way.

Hellinger constellations are a psychotherapeutic method of the 21st century aimed at changing the deep processes of the collective unconscious of the family and clan, which creates family, psychological, health and career problems for a person. Currently, this method is widely recognized by the world psychotherapeutic community; it is used in group therapy and individual counseling.

The constellation method is systemic, that is, it works with problems of a complex, recurring nature (family, tribal, organizational) and short-term - the method is characterized by an extremely small number of meetings with a psychologist and large intervals between them. Solution-oriented means that the focus of the psychologist's work is finding a solution, rather than analyzing the problem itself.

The arrangement method owes its appearance to Bert Hellinger, a German professor, former priest and missionary, and psychotherapist. Summarizing his multifaceted experience in philosophy, theology, pedagogy, various areas of psychotherapy, information theory and systems theory, he was able to identify patterns that lead to tragic conflicts between family members. On this basis, he developed his own method of therapy, which is becoming increasingly popular throughout the world.

“Constellations” (also used as “system constellations” or “family constellations”) is the author’s term translated from German language(familien-stellen - family constellation). It most accurately reflects the essence of what happens during work in this method: people (deputies) are placed in the “working space of the group,” intuitively determining for each their place in the family and clan system. This is where the arrangement begins. The figures placed by the client reflect his subconscious image of the problematic situation with which he works in the process of arrangement.

How the formations work

A group of people gathers, which can include both people who want to solve their problem (“customers” of the constellation), and people who want to get acquainted with the method and participate in “other people’s” constellations (“deputies”). The client gives a request for an arrangement or voices a problematic situation that he would like to solve with the help of an arrangement. Usually a request is 2 - 3 phrases that reflect the essence of the problem and the result that you would like to receive as a result of the arrangement.

For example, if the client has complex, conflict-ridden relationships in the family, then the request for constellation may sound like this: “I have constant conflicts with my husband, we are on the verge of divorce. I would like to save my family."

The constellator, guided by knowledge of the “orders of love” formulated by Hellinger within the family as a system (about the “orders of love”, see below), selects “substitutes” from the group to play the roles of the main participants or elements of the problem situation for the constellation.

The participants in the arrangement are looking for their place in space and, based on their movements, the leader can judge the processes occurring in the client’s family system. Substitutes reflect the movements of the soul, feelings, emotions and thoughts that occur in the client’s family system and transmit them to the constellation. The task of the deputies is to be very attentive to the feelings and sensations that begin to appear (this is one of the phenomena of systemic interaction), and to move in accordance with this inner feeling.

Deputies move, transmit information to each other about feelings and sensations within the system. Thus, internal image problem situation becomes obvious to the participants, and most importantly - to the person who ordered the arrangement.

The method of family systemic constellations also allows you to solve the client’s problem confidentially, without disclosing details. The task of the leader of the constellation, with minimal interference in the client’s ecology, is to identify dynamics indicating violations of the laws of functioning of the family system and find a way to restore the broken order.

This allows you to start a process of rapid and extremely powerful changes leading to the best solution, both for the customer of the arrangement and for the entire family system as a whole.

The mechanism of arrangement is based on the phenomenon that people unconsciously take on the role of another person about whom they have no information, but in this role they are able to perceive and feel the same way as those real characters whom they replace.

This phenomenon is called “substitute perception” by arrangers, and the people chosen for certain roles are called “substitutes”. Deputies, voicing their states and experiences, allow the psychologist to restore the course of events in family history and gradually, step by step, unravel the tangle of family relationships, return harmony to the family system and find for each of its members the best appropriate place where he will be happy and calm. And also to return the excluded kind to the archetypal system, build the correct hierarchy, deal with the balance... The work is carried out by adding, moving and changing the behavior of substitutes in the “arrangement field”, various psychological techniques and interactions are used. An indicator of the correctness of the decision for a given family system is the comfortable state of all participants in the arrangement (even feelings, absence of discomfort in the body), clear signs of sustainable physical and mental relief in the client, which are then preserved in his life along with the result of the arrangement. It is quite difficult to describe how the arrangement works to a person who has not seen it. Work is being carried out on different levels client perception (visual, tactile, auditory, mental, emotional). What is common in all arrangements: the client living a new experience in a safe space. A person receives new information about his situation from the point of view of the system, lives this situation in a new arrangement, with acquired and returned resources, thereby acquiring a new model of happy behavior and a new, harmonious perception.

The best way to understand how a constellation works is to take part in it as a substitute. Your own feelings will tell you much more than any, the most detailed story about it. You will be able to get an idea of ​​how family ties and laws work, what destroys relationships and what allows them to last, how Love is archetypally manifested in family members.

Bert Hellinger has very precise words: “The main thing in the arrangement is what is essential, what is a turning point, what is effective, what turns our ideas upside down - this is not a theory, this is not a utopia, this is not an ideology, but observations and positive experience, collected in different contexts."

Professor Hellinger is asked: “Why did you put it that way? Why are you telling the deputy to say that? Why do you think so?" He says: “I have seen 100 cases, and in 100 cases it was like this. I have no reason not to trust my eyes, my experience and the experience of people who were sincere.” He emphasizes again and again that the basis of constellation methodology is observations collected in different contexts, generalized and tested by his many years of psychotherapeutic practice with hundreds and thousands of people and couples.

The arrangements are a very complex and beautiful mosaic. A mosaic of relationships, feelings, intentions and actions in their name. In part, it is similar to a hologram or a frosty pattern on glass, where each part complements the harmony of the whole and is part of it.

The main goal of the arrangement is to restore the integrity and harmony of family systems and the life of an individual.

Bert Hellinger is not only the creator of the family constellation method, whose popularity is rapidly growing throughout the world, but also an interesting thinker. Here are just three examples.

1. If a person causes the death of another person, the deceased enters his family, becomes a member of his family.

2. If someone was excluded from the family, then the children “look” at such excluded people and, as it were, replace them - this explains many oddities in the behavior of children.

3. Conscience has nothing to do with good and evil, but with our belonging to the family. Our conscience hurts when we feel we have lost our right to belong. The brightness and unusualness of his ideas captivates, regardless of whether we agree with them or argue.

Long-term conflicts between relatives, family problems... Sometimes we pay the debts of our ancestors without knowing it. The arrangement shows the structure of relationships in the family, makes the invisible visible and allows you to find a solution.

“We lived with my husband for 26 years. Our son is now 19, our daughter is 25, and our granddaughter is six. And all these years I have been worried about the lack of mutual understanding with my children. Even when they were very young, they acted in accordance with their ideas about what was right and what was wrong. Their frame of reference did not match mine. And now the children have grown up, and it has become even harder. The son stated that he never wanted to study as an economist, left the university and mastered playing the guitar for two years. Then I abandoned this activity too. Now he’s just lying on the couch - looking for his way in life. And my daughter is building a career, lives with us, gave birth to a child and “pinned” it on my husband and me. She is absolutely sure that we should be grateful to her for such trust... It seems to me that for the last 25 years I have not been living the life I wanted. My family manipulates me, and I, in turn, do not bring them joy, only fatigue and irritation. We all - family and friends - are constantly “out of phase”. With the hope of discerning why this is happening, restoring mutual understanding between different generations our family and to find a way out of my personal crisis, I met with psychotherapist Albina Loktionova. “Our family history influences us more than we think,” says Albina Loktionova. - Each of us is part of the family system (relationships with parents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, grandparents, husbands and wives), and when it is disrupted (for example, relatives “forget” about one of the family members or stop communicate with him), then the balance in the relationship is disturbed. And this failure is involuntarily repeated by subsequent generations.” The psychotherapist invites me, using the family constellation method, to identify those “forgotten” episodes of family history that prevent my family members from living life to the fullest. After listening to me, Albina Loktionova summarizes: “The order of love has been violated in your family. Order means hierarchy, subordination. In this hierarchy, for example, parents are always placed above children, because they are the ones who created the family. There is no parental leadership in your family, the roles are confused. Let’s make an arrangement to sort out this “tangle” and understand how to return to the natural hierarchy of relationships.” Since my desire to go through family constellations was spontaneous and impetuous, and the group began work only after the very vacation month- August, we worked together with a psychotherapist. And the substitutes for my family members were pieces of paper laid out on the floor with figures-symbols drawn on them - who is who. This work became an invaluable experience - painful and healing at the same time, when I had to be in the shoes of my household, let their feelings pass through me and understand hidden motives. I'm drawing geometric figures , representing me, my husband, daughter and son. Square, rectangle, circle, oval, and on each I indicate the direction of view with a tick. I lay out the sheets of paper on the floor. “Look,” Albina Loktionova points to the arrangement that I got, “you, your husband and daughter are located too close. You feel cramped, you seem to be pushing, getting in each other’s way. And your son is separate from you and has his back turned to you. It seems that he is afraid to approach his family, as if he is too hot in your close circle, or there is simply no place for him in it. Or maybe the system itself, your family, excluded him?” I am completely perplexed - what is the psychotherapist talking about? And she continues: “Perhaps there was someone in your family history who is now undeservedly forgotten, and your son unconsciously identifies himself with this person?” Still not understanding what the therapist means, I begin to remember and talk about three episodes that our family tries to forget. My great-grandfather (my father’s grandfather), dispossessed during the years of collectivization and ended his days in Siberian exile. Even his daughter (my grandmother) never spoke about him, who, even 50 years later, believed that this family page could be disastrous for the careers of her children and grandchildren. The second episode is related to my mother's parents. They really wanted, but did not dare, to have a second child at a difficult time - the end of the thirties and the beginning of the war. And finally, I know that my mother, having become ill, was forced to have an abortion a year or two after I was born. It turned out that from generation to generation my family carries information about an unborn second child and an unfairly forgotten ancestor. “In my mind, these events were never connected with each other,” I admit to the psychotherapist. “Not only you, but also your son, have unconsciously accepted the dynamics of systemic intertwining and, in a sense, are now unconsciously compensating for the feeling of guilt towards the unborn second children in the family of your relatives or the “forgotten” great-great-grandfather. The distance at which your son is in relation to other family members - we clearly saw it during the family constellation - only confirms the fact: in your family there is no place for a second child, there is no model of communication and relationships with him that has been worked out over generations.” “But he takes care of his niece with tenderness and love, who has been growing up without a father since birth,” I ardently defend my son’s ability to have related feelings. “That’s how it should be,” Albina Loktionova answers, “after all, his niece, in a sense, is an unexpected child. And he unconsciously “rehabilitates” her birth, gives her a chance to live.”

What about my daughter? She is actively pursuing a career and does not want to get married or start her own family. And he only includes his daughter in his plans when he goes to visit and wants to show off how smart, beautiful and cheerful child. “Grandmother and grandfather, that is, me and my husband, are really involved in raising my granddaughter. And the daughter only controls us,” I ask new topic for the development of the arrangement.

The psychotherapist invites me to stand on a chair, leaving a piece of paper with my daughter’s symbol on the floor, and imagine my mother - somewhere above me, high, at ceiling level. This exercise helps you feel your own place in the family system, where every older generation is located above the next. “Imagine that I am your daughter,” continues Albina Loktionova. - Get down from the chair, come up to me and say firmly: “Lena, I am big, and you are small. You are my daughter and I am your mother. You cannot command me, and I must not obey..."

I obediently repeat these words, but I clearly understand that such a conversation is hardly possible with my real daughter. “Your daughter is used to being in charge,” explains Albina Loktionova, “and in order to restore the correct family hierarchy, without which harmonious relationships in the family are impossible, it is necessary to return both the vertical and the horizontal: to establish contact with the daughter. Sit next to each other, talk about your feelings, or maybe just be silent... From such silent empathy, once-lost closeness with loved ones is often restored. The boundary that it is time for you to draw between yourself and your daughter should not become the “Great Wall of China.” On the contrary, precise distance will help you truly feel closeness and belonging to each other.”

But here my worries about my son and daughter converge at one point - a second child! After all, the daughter, a beautiful young woman, will probably get married and want to have a second child. And he will carry negative information about unborn second children in several generations of our family. “What if he, too, becomes a stranger among his relatives?” - I share my concerns with Albina Loktionova. “Your son is already “filling” this role in your family,” she explains. - But now, understanding the situation, you can change it. The problem is finally resolved when relatives take the right place in the family hierarchy and are ready to take responsibility for their actions. From now on, there is no need to be afraid of the return of the past.” In literally two hours of family constellations, I discovered the hidden motives that determined the relationships among my relatives for many years. “The founder of the family constellation method, Bert Hellinger, says that accepting the past makes us free,” Albina Loktionova concludes the meeting. - But true acceptance also means accepting all the consequences of many years of silence and hidden family secrets. And it’s really not easy to come to terms with the fact that in our family’s past there were losses and losses, mistakes and disappointments.” It is difficult to accept your past - to do this you need to reconsider many of your usual ideas and ideals. “We will have to clearly clarify the consequences - who won what and what price each member of the system paid for this past, and then determine the ratio of losses and gains,” the psychotherapist sums up. - If you can’t admit it, then you need to at least call the past the past. And it will stop clinging, and you will be able to let it go. Then we can move on."