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A sense of the reality of one’s own “I” Disturbances in the sense of “I” are found primarily in such manifestations as depersonalization and derealization. A person loses his sense of his own reality, which is usually associated with the feeling of the changed forms of his own body,

On the path of spiritual development, we must understand that in order to develop our character, it is necessary to have self-respect and correct self-esteem. If we have low self-esteem, these psychological defense mechanisms will block our development and movement forward...

Respect yourself, respect others, be responsible for all your actions... (Nepalese sages)

Self-esteem and self-recognition - these are the qualities that are necessary in order to feel and experience Divine love for all of us.

As soon as we begin to respect and love ourselves, we create an atmosphere of internal trust, which creates our trust in Life.

A person who has, is focused and focused on improving his life, regardless of success, career, spiritual aspirations, any inspiration, his family or personal goals.

By building the right relationship with ourselves, we ourselves create the events of our lives, correcting those character traits that we ourselves do not like.

By pushing through our fears, we release our perceived mental limitations.

If our low self-esteem or mental limitations control our actions, then our growth stops, we lose self-respect.

“Tell me how a person judges his sense of self-worth, and I will tell you what this person is like in work, love, sex, education, in any important aspect of his existence, and how high he can rise. Your opinion of yourself and self-esteem is the only one the most important factor for a fulfilling life." (Nathaniel Branden)

How does self-esteem arise?

Self-esteem includes self-respect And self-efficacy.

Self-esteem gives the perception of oneself as worthy of success, happiness and love. Self-efficacy- this is the ability to make decisions and cope with one’s life problems.

This is what is important for a healthy . In every life situation, people, consciously or subconsciously, always perform a quick self-assessment:

• Am I worthy?
• Am I good enough?
• Am I really competent?
• Can I trust myself?

If you answer “Yes” to these questions, then you are moving forward. With low self-esteem, a person loses the desire to act and gives up. It is in these moments that important opportunities for his happiness, growth and success are missed.

Thus, self-esteem - necessary part successful human existence.

Our effectiveness, success and happiness depend entirely on the appropriate level self-esteem.

Every aspect of our existence depends on it: social interactions, careers, relationships, spiritual growth and dreams.

Without healthy self-esteem people are overwhelmed by fear, paralyzed by doubts and indecision.

The roots of self-esteem are found in our childhood. A child who grows up surrounded by rewards, praise and love has healthy self-esteem.

But if the child’s environment lacks all of the above, he will feel unworthy, inferior, and will not be able to develop.

What does self-esteem affect?

For success or failure;
in our views, it depends on what prospects there may be - positive or negative;
on our confidence, which allows us to be in the right position to succeed;
on our self-expression;
fortunately for us;
for all our relationships.
on our well-being and quality of life.

Of course, self-esteem develops in childhood. But still, adults who lack it need to think about it and build it so that they can move forward in life with a sense of happiness and purpose.

Happiness is participation in the lives of other people, which helps them get what they want and become better!!!

Tips for building self-esteem:

1. Be true to yourself. Live the way you think is right, not someone else.

Listening to the advice of others, analyzing your problems, make a decision that will be best for you.

It is impossible and short-sighted to please everyone. Learn to feel what is right and useful for you.

You are the one responsible for your own happiness. Your feelings are important.

2. Listen to what your inner voice says. Listen to your inner voice and thoughts.

It happens that we “catch” other people’s thoughts that are not good for us, pay attention to them and concentrate on something positive.

On initial stage it may seem difficult and take a lot of time until you learn to disengage from the negative. Remember to be kind to yourself as you gain insight and strengthen your mental will.

3. Don't compare yourself to others. You are not like anyone else. You are a unique person! You are the only one who can exist like you and live like you!

Your perspectives, talents, gifts and worth are uniquely yours. If you want to compare yourself with someone, compare yourself with how you were yesterday. Take some time to develop respect, self-love, self-acceptance, and improve in this every day!

4. Celebrate your successes, even the smallest ones! Eat something delicious for your success, reward yourself with relaxation or socializing with friends.

5. Be grateful. We all always have something to be grateful for. Gratitude alone can lift our

When you do something for others from the heart, without expecting gratitude, someone writes it in the book of fate and sends happiness that you never even dreamed of. (Angelina Jolie)

6. Write down your own achievements and review them. Usually, we pay a lot of attention to what needs to be done, forgetting to pay attention to how far we have already come.

7. Learn something new. Be curious and study whatever interests you. With training, your knowledge grows, it increases self-esteem. Learn about spiritual awakening!

8. Do something good for others. Serve others without expecting reward. This is very effective method, giving us a feeling of satisfaction.

Psychological research shows that doing something for others is one of the most quick ways increasing your self-esteem.

9. Spend more time doing what you enjoy. Find something to do that gives you pleasure.
Remember that happiness is not selfishness, but the main goal of human existence.

Self-esteem — it is the personal belief that every person is unique, worthy and important, regardless of what others think or say about them.

The greatest human need is to be needed. If someone needs you, you feel satisfied. But if the whole existence needs you, then there is no limit to your bliss. And this existence needs even a small blade of grass just as much as it needs the biggest star. There is no problem of inequality. (Osho)

Love and be happy!

Perhaps no topic causes as many conflicting opinions and debates as human dignity. In essence, this concept denotes the subjective attitude of a person to himself. For many people, in order to develop great self-esteem, they first need to achieve extraordinary heights in life. People who have high demands on their personality often suffer from imaginary shortcomings and strive to improve themselves in many ways.

The formation of human dignity begins in childhood and continues into adolescence and adulthood. Human dignity is made up of many factors that can have a powerful impact on an individual's self-esteem. In some cases, the circumstance is due to how much attention was paid to her in childhood. If parents spend a lot of time with the child, are interested in his mood, successes, then gradually he develops an awareness of his importance. A mature sense of dignity is usually expressed in the desire to follow a given direction in life, to realize individual plans and dreams. Dignity has nothing to do with permissiveness.

Human honor and dignity

Honor and dignity are the inherent values ​​of every self-respecting individual. Several decades ago, the word “honor” was associated with the concepts of honesty and the ability to be sincere to the end. Today it has practically not changed and denotes a person’s desire to achieve his goals in a pure way through fruitful work on himself. An honest person acts towards himself and others with dignity, he will certainly apologize if he causes significant or minor inconvenience to others.

Dignity correlates with the concepts of self-worth and. In many situations, life itself often requires from the individual a great ability to maintain internal freedom and be independent. Honor and dignity are important components of an adequate perception of reality. When a person can look confidently into the future and accepts his achievements that exist at a given moment in time, he becomes truly independent and happy. If the concepts of honor and dignity did not exist, accepting oneself as an individual and self-realization would become impossible. Dignity is the path to a fulfilling life. Without dignity, no development is possible.

Human dignity and freedom

How is dignity related to freedom? Is it possible to maintain dignity while being a dependent, driven person? Life practice shows that no. If a person is so unsure of himself that he allows others to control his own life, he can hardly be called fulfilled and happy ( read about). But what does freedom mean and why is a person sometimes ready to fight tooth and nail for it?

Freedom has always been recognized as the main value of the individual. Without it it is impossible to develop dignity sufficiently. Without freedom, all the achievements that a person has would ultimately be in vain. Everything we achieve, we do in order to develop our own individuality, to express ourselves to the fullest. And having dignity will help a lot here. Some people are initially driven by the desire to gain the respect of others, others begin to be proud of themselves ( read about). Be that as it may, the feeling of having freedom helps to develop dignity and build self-confidence. In fact, it is impossible to be productive without realizing your own individuality. You cannot become happy for someone else or by realizing other people's dreams rather than your own goals.

What situations require the presence of dignity?

Sometimes in life you have to act quickly without thinking about the end result. No one can exclude the occurrence of unpleasant moments. In some cases, the presence of dignity can help you feel better and cope with serious difficulties.

• Undeserved insult. When a person experiences an internal feeling of resentment, his entire being shrinks from the infringement of his own dignity. There is a feeling that you were wronged undeservedly, in vain. This condition is accompanied by strong indignation and often a desire to take revenge on the offender. A state of internal devastation, fear, apathy, anxiety, and sleep disturbances are possible. Honor and dignity also suffer and undergo significant changes. The dignity of the individual mainly begins to fluctuate. While feeling resentful, it is impossible to feel whole. There is a feeling that the soul has been trampled, often a person withdraws into himself and refuses communication for some time.
• Advocacy of interests. In the case where you need to stand up for yourself, to defend your interests, dignity develops to a greater extent than in other cases. Going through difficulties strengthens character and contributes to the formation inner strength, will. Here the theme of honor and dignity comes to the fore. The spoken words mean a lot, so special attention is paid to them. When conducting a conversation with an opponent, it is extremely important not to respond with insult to insult and to be sincere to the end.
• Conflicts within the team. Where, if not in the team, is the individual located most of the time? Often in this group of people there is a clash of interests, views, and opinions. It will take a lot of willpower and self-confidence to overcome significant problems every day and to seek compromises. The development of dignity will certainly occur when a person learns to separate his own interests from public ones. It is necessary to develop your own behavior strategy in conflict situations. This can take a lot of time. But having self-esteem is worth it!

How to develop self-esteem?

From how much we value ourselves ( read about) often depends on the attitude of others towards us. Why is this happening? The fact is that when communicating with different categories of people, we form our opinions about them based on our own impressions, and they do the same in relation to us. If the personality projects into external space internal constraint, uncertainty, then others will subconsciously perceive this. It is known that those who do not love and value themselves should not expect respect and recognition from others. Dignity must be preserved in any situation precisely because it allows you to feel significant and important. Without this feeling, a person will never dare to set high goals and strive to achieve them. Honor and dignity are the main components of any advancement, personal growth and success in general. The tips below will help you build your sense of dignity. It is necessary to understand that the degree of its development depends directly on a person’s sense of self, on how ready he is for significant changes in his life. Self-esteem, as a rule, is formed through systematic constructive work over oneself, recognition of one’s uniqueness.

Find your own personality

If a person does not treat himself with due attention and respect, perhaps he is not fully aware of his strengths. Only after thoroughly studying your own personality can you begin to understand the motives of your actions, fight fears, and prevent disappointments.

Are you confident that you are doing what you want in life? Are the positions held appropriate? career your ambitions, desires, aspirations? If not, then there is a serious need to think about it. Dignity is a necessary and necessary component that helps to cope with many difficulties, to realize one’s uniqueness and originality. Nothing can create such powerful internal protection for a person as honor and dignity. How a person treats himself directly determines the attitude of the people around him. Forming your own individual view of things helps you feel significant and take an important place in society.

Professional self-improvement

At a certain point in life, each of us chooses our own professional path. This choice is dictated by both the internal needs of the individual and social expectations. The theme of honor and dignity is directly related to him. If a person, due to some circumstances, cannot succeed in one area or another, he will always feel his own worthlessness and emptiness. Nothing can compensate for the gap in education. It is extremely important for a person to feel significant, to show his individual abilities and express himself in one activity or another. Personal dignity can be cultivated through constant painstaking work above oneself.

Constant self-education

Even a professional in his field from time to time feels the need to update his existing knowledge and gain new ones. Self-education is an integral part of the life of any person for whom career and growth in the profession is of significant interest. The honor and dignity of an individual are largely determined by how successful she was in her activities. By improving his skills, a person moves forward, strives to improve his condition, and always works on his character ( read about).

A person’s dignity in this area of ​​life can either be seriously damaged or rise to unprecedented heights. If a person does not think about the topic of his dignity, then, most likely, over time, serious problems will begin in the profession.

Avoiding unpleasant company

It has long been noted that being among people who can offend or humiliate negatively affects the formation of personality. If a person is surrounded by people who, by word or deed, will interfere with his self-realization, then he will soon feel unnecessary, empty and depressed. Some individuals may inadvertently insult a person’s dignity, causing the latter to feel strongly offended. Usually those people who offend others are those who themselves do not have self-esteem. It gives them short-term joy to humiliate others, to deprive them of their inner strength and sense of balance. Everyone should take care of themselves and avoid society that can hurt their dignity. Remember, we are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

Thus, human dignity is an extremely important and significant topic that causes numerous debates and rumors in society. If the concept of dignity did not exist, there would be no personality itself. Any personal growth and self-development are impossible without awareness of one’s own value and significance. Dignity belongs to the category that is responsible for success and happiness.

A person is born with a sense of self-esteem. But as he grows up, comments addressed to him, expectations, and the attitude of other people towards him make a person doubt himself. Self-esteem is what makes us believe that we can achieve great things through our abilities, that we can contribute to society, that we are worthy of leading a fulfilling life. Therefore, developing self-esteem is natural, important and useful.

Steps

Understanding yourself

Realize the importance of your attitude towards yourself. How you perceive yourself, how you talk about yourself, who you see yourself becomes reality for you. If you allow yourself to be humiliated, do not value yourself, do not notice and do not show your abilities, then you will have low self-esteem, you will be invisible to everyone. This is not humility, but rather a refusal to recognize one's own importance.

1. Don't be afraid to love yourself. Self-love is often identified with selfishness, narcissism and, to some extent, introversion at its worst. Perhaps this is partly due to the peculiarity of the Russian language, in which the word “love” has many meanings that characterize different types love. In addition, people often misunderstand calls to help others, to be generous, to give, to give, and to give of oneself. Although these intentions are noble, some people go to extremes: they downplay their desires, forget about their own needs because they seek approval from others, or are simply afraid of being considered selfish and only thinking about themselves. It is very important to find a middle ground here too.

   • Healthy self-love means being yourself best friend. Self-love doesn't mean primping yourself all day and talking about how good you are all the time (these are signs of serious self-doubt). To love means to relate to to myself with the same care, tolerance, generosity and compassion as you would treat a close friend.
   • Don't get hung up on what other people think of you. Someone else's opinion will not help you become the person you want to be. It depends only on you whether you will have self-esteem.

2. Value your time. If you're doing volunteer or low-paying work that takes up more of your time than you can afford, while neglecting other important parts of your life such as family, personal relationships, or finding another job, then you're likely facing a conflict of values. .

   • On the one hand, you are convinced that being a volunteer and taking part in community service, helping those in need, is very noble and important for your state of mind. On the other hand, your sense of self-worth dictates that your contributions to society should be rewarded.
   • These two competing value systems create tension within many people who want to help others and have the best intentions. Trying to do everything at once, they are faced with a lack of time and money and wonder if their efforts are worth anything.
   • Sooner or later this will lead to one or more possible consequences: you will get sick, get angry, give up everything, regret that you wasted so much time, or you will live like this, forgetting about a healthy balance between public and private, which will not only affect you, but will also serve as a bad example for your children, friends and all those who are watching you. If you feel the need to downplay your abilities and skills and give them away to someone else at little or no cost, this should be a warning to you. You need to stop and start valuing yourself and your time.
3. • Keep a diary of your achievements. Every time you want to humiliate yourself and cry because you are incapable of anything, pour yourself a cup of coffee, sit back, take out your diary and re-read it. Maybe there are already new achievements that you could add to it?
   • Compete only with yourself, not with others. Your achievements reflect what you do You, and that You feel at the same time, and not how others perceive them or what they themselves do.

• Every 10 years people discover something new about themselves. There is no need to blame yourself for the fact that now you are not the same as you were 10 years ago. Instead, thank your fate, pick yourself up and move on. Think about the wisdom you have gained during this time and use it.
• Don't confuse platitudes with positive affirmations. There are aphorisms, sayings, examples of “worldly wisdom” and other banal phrases that are supposedly designed to strengthen self-esteem, but may not evoke the slightest response from you. Forget about them and encourage yourself with words that truly mean to you.
• Every meeting is a lot of opportunities for you. Be interested in other people, be willing to spend time with them to learn something new. It is impossible to predict what this particular person can teach you and how he can help you develop self-esteem. In addition, hearing about other people's problems will make it easier for you to forget about your own troubles and worries.
• Let go of the past. Live for today. Remember that love is most important. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Warnings

• If you expect too much from yourself and constantly add to this list of demands, it will destroy your self-esteem by constantly reminding you of what you have not yet achieved. This may cause you to mistakenly believe that you can do things that you actually cannot, and vice versa. Calm down and start regularly reviewing your goals in life.

Self-esteem is a very important component of every person’s life. For a woman, it is a primary feeling that can help her find the way to herself and understand that she deserves all the best.

Selfishness should not be confused with this feeling. Self-esteem is inner confidence in oneself and in the fact that the Universe will give us the best, and we deserve it.

Why does a woman have no self-esteem?

From childhood we are taught that we need to work hard so that someone can give us what we want. And we work on ourselves with such confidence to achieve perfection and finally become worthy of something good. We have forgotten that with birth we have already been given everything we need and it is the best for us. But we cannot take advantage of this because we consider ourselves “not good enough” to accept it.

This usually happens due to the fact that most often from childhood we are deprived of the care, security and care that our parents could have surrounded us with. After all, they work for the benefit of us, earning money for necessary needs, forgetting about the inner world of their daughter.

Now is the time when all these understandings are remembered and there are people who think about it and put it into their lives and the lives of their children.

Dignity awakens in a woman when she begins to understand and appreciate her desires. Contrary to what we are told, we need to forget about ourselves, and above all we need to look good in the eyes of others and work for the good of society.

In fact, you cannot do much for others without taking care of yourself, and without being filled with love and harmony.

How to develop self-esteem?

Therefore, I propose, first of all, to look at ourselves and remember that we are women, we came here initially pure and divine, and worthy of the best in the world. And you don’t need to prove this to anyone. All these are games of our Ego, which constantly compares us with others. We are the way God created us, and this is at least perfect.

We are taught from childhood that we must study well, obey and take care of everyone. And we grow up and do this, forgetting about ourselves.

It is necessary to stop and look inside yourself, listen to your desires and allow yourself to have all these desires, and, most importantly, we have the right to fulfill them all, please ourselves with little things and allow ourselves to do the things we love. After all, this fills and pleases us so much.

For some reason, many women think that if they take care of themselves, the world around them will collapse. That there will be no one to take care of the family and children.

In fact, nothing will collapse if you devote a couple of hours to yourself and fulfill your desires. If you think that someone else should do this for you, then you are very mistaken. It all starts with your inner attitude towards yourself, and then all the people around you reflect it to you.

Therefore, if you want something, take it and do it. If you want chocolate, buy it, if you want flowers, treat yourself, or maybe you want to go to a beauty salon, then this is a must. Please yourself as often as possible, and do it out of pleasure, and do not torment yourself later with remorse that you could have bought something for your children or husband. They need, first of all, a calm and happy mother and wife, and not another pair of sneakers.

Signs of a woman with self-esteem

A woman with self-esteem knows that she will always be taken care of. What if she got into difficult situation at this moment there will always be someone who will help her. She will use the feminine principle and ask for help, and worthy men will definitely help her.

A self-confident woman will think that she can do everything herself and will resist doing it, losing her femininity and energy. She is confident that she does not need support, that she has everything already planned and will achieve everything on her own. That is why she is being deprived of this support.

The principle of independence is a purely masculine principle. A woman was born to fulfill her desires, through inner filling with love and harmony.

A woman with self-esteem always looks great because she lovingly takes care of her soul and body, pleasing herself with different and amazing things. She does it with joy and love, and not because it is necessary. Such a woman does not do anything through force, because everything we do in spite of ourselves takes away our energy and devastates us.

Our task as women is to do everything with joy, and sometimes this is not very easy.

Also self-esteem A does not allow women to run after men and beg for love. A woman can allow or not allow herself to be loved. She deserves to choose the best from her fans, and does not allow herself to be treated unworthily. Such relationships are terminated immediately.

When such a woman chooses for herself worthy man, she devotes her life to him. But this in no way deprives her of self-esteem. She knows that he is the best, she helps him and, most importantly, believes in him, without forgetting about herself and not sacrificing herself. Such a woman is filled with love herself, and thereby fills her man with strength and energy.

As soon as a woman loses her self-esteem in a relationship, her partner mirrors this to her with his disrespect and unworthy behavior. Therefore, carefully monitor your mirrors so that you can return to yourself in time.

I hope I have convinced you that self-esteem is simply necessary, like air, for a woman.

I wish you to appreciate and love yourself. Remember that you are already a Goddess, for whom the best has already been prepared. You just need to accept it.

With love to you, Marina Danilova.