Stepping into single life after many years of marriage and raising a child alone is very difficult. Many single women are trying to start a new family and arrange their personal life, but only a few succeed.
Desperate divorcees?
For the evening of dating, divorced 39-year-old Irina Osipova, mother of a seven-year-old son, prepared thoroughly: she lost weight, put on makeup, in a word, began to look more stylish and attractive. At the evening, having chatted for a short time with several potential chosen ones, Ira chose one of them. Several times she tried in vain to communicate with him via the Internet. “In the end,” she says, sighing, “I asked the employee who organizes such evenings to show me his resume, from which I learned that he prefers childless women...”
Unfortunately, attempts to rebuild your personal life can often be unsuccessful and painful. Not to mention factors that cannot be ignored: stress, the emerging need to earn more, the difficult process of “settling down” a new relationship with an ex-husband, searching for a nanny for a child. The above is quite enough for a single mother, in despair, to forever bury the idea of going on a date and spending the evening in the company of a pleasant man.
In fact, everything is not so gloomy. Many moms are even enjoying the freedom that comes with her new status! A modern woman does not feel forced to have a husband in order to legitimize her role as a mother. In addition, more and more divorced women are busy with careers and are not limited to family interests. Therefore, they do not have an irresistible desire to fill with something the gaping void in their hearts that their husband recently occupied.
30 years ago, for example, there were half as many single mothers as there are now. As a result, public opinion regarding single mothers (desperate divorcees who are hunting for potential daddies for their unfortunate children) has changed dramatically. The modern single mother is more interested in creating a new life, and for this she does not necessarily need to look for a man. If a woman nevertheless tries to find a soul mate, she does so on her own terms and not always immediately after the divorce. Although in the end, most of them get married again after about three years. However, any divorced mom faces certain difficulties. And there are three basic rules that will help you overcome them.
First: take your time. Think about how the man you choose can fit into your life.
Second: do not lose your “sense of balance”. Put your needs on one side of the scale and the needs of your children on the other.
Third: respect boundaries.. Not all information about changes in your personal life needs to be shared with your children.
Most divorced women put work and raising children above their own free time and women's time. And if a chronic lack of time is complemented by a difficult relationship with an ex-husband and his unplanned visits to meet with children, then many people forever give up spontaneously planned dates.
At the same time, many single mothers, when dating other men, feel confident because they do not need to prove to anyone that they can get married at least once. After all, they have already taken place in the most important role of a woman - the role of a mother.
Some women want to remarry and have a child with a new husband, but there are others who are openly enjoying themselves after a failed marriage. Most psychologists believe that divorced mothers who date new men are much calmer and less frustrated with life than unmarried women. But this is not easy for them: someone else’s child is not a long-awaited gift for a man. “When I meet men, I have no doubt that they are passionate about me,” 32-year-old Elena Startseva, manager of a large construction company, shares her experience. “Until I tell them that my son is waiting for me at home. In most cases interest in me instantly faded away. Sometimes men invited me on a date even after they found out about their son, but, rather, just out of politeness."
Instant family
There are men, psychologists warn, for whom a single mother is easy prey. For some reason they think that young divorced mothers are desperately looking for male attention and love. They are warmed by the idea that such women should be grateful to them: after all, the man turned his favorable gaze to her, and not to a younger, childless, unmarried woman... Therefore, before entering into a serious relationship with a man, it is better to try to find out motives for his courtship.
37-year-old Olga Morshanova, mother of a three-year-old daughter, spoke about the failures that befell her in relationships with three men. One of them, after the first meeting, called her at home at 3 o’clock in the morning (to say “Good morning”?). The second (also after the first date) said that he was not ecstatic that she had a child. A third called Olga a “hot mom” and said that she had “an instant family - just add water.” It is clear that she quickly said goodbye to these men.
Some men, especially those who have not yet experienced fatherhood, get scared when they are directly faced with the reality where toys and diapers reign. “I would like for the man I’m dating to not have a burden on going to a cafe or to the cinema with my child,” says Olga. “After all, for me the child is an undeniable priority and I have a hard time finding time for evening dates.” . Unfortunately, not every man is able to understand this.
“Being a single mother and a woman is like experiencing a split personality,” says 33-year-old nurse Ekaterina Lavrova. “90% of the time I’m the mother of a five-year-old daughter, the remaining 10% I can spend on myself and communicate with people I’m interested in. That’s enough, to feel like I'm 20 again! At first I'm worried about leaving home for a date or a party, but then I suddenly realize: wow, great! You can relax and take your mind off your worries! There's something strange about going on dates and being mother. But you need to understand that you are not only a mother, but also just a person! And meetings with the opposite sex bring back to me, which was thoroughly shaken after the divorce." By the way, for Katya, being with a man is not an end in itself. “How many times they tried to introduce me to potential suitors! But I was in no hurry to find a husband - I focused on work, family and felt very good!” - Katya, who recently has a serious contender for her hand and heart, confesses. She regrets only one thing: she brought one of her suitors into the house too early. 6 months after the divorce, she became interested in a man and introduced him to her little daughter as her groom. After some time, their paths diverged, and the daughter, who became attached to him, kept asking for a long time: “Where did mother’s fiance go?”
When 30-year-old Marina Stepanova divorced her husband, her son Danila was only a year old. At first, she allowed the men she dated to accompany her and her son on walks in the park or invited them to her home. “I soon realized that it was better not to do this. They all considered it necessary to show their parenting abilities. One of them even began to correct the reading of the growing Danila, which I did not like at all. As a result, it turned out to be a family game according to a bad script.”
Men can only talk about how much they enjoy dating a single mother. In fact, not all unmarried men feel comfortable being the father of a ready-made child. When 35-year-old firefighter Igor Vasilyev began dating 33-year-old Anna, a supermarket manager, he could not accommodate the schedule of her son, Gosha. Therefore, Anya met with him mainly when the boy was with his own father. On the other hand, what Igor liked about Anya was that she “values family and is very responsible.” “I didn’t want to immediately throw my son and my beloved man into each other’s arms,” recalls Anna. “I tried for them to communicate in a friendly manner, taking into account the fact that Gosha’s own father deals with him a lot.” Over time, Anna's beloved men developed a true friendship. But she was worried about another problem: her future acquaintance with Igor’s parents. Anya was very worried: how they would accept her child. But the worries turned out to be in vain, Igor’s parents are friendly and Anya recently married Igor.
Single father willing to compromise
The most reliable category of men for single moms is single dads. 40-year-old Inga Bovina accompanied her daughter Katya to school every day. And every day I watched in admiration a middle-aged man driving his daughter to school along the same route. “He is not only good-looking, but also attentive and neat - his seven-year-old daughter had a wonderful braid every day. It shocked me,” Inga smiles. One day they started talking, got to know each other and learned a lot about each other. “It’s much easier to date single fathers,” says Inga, “they are ready to compromise, because it is important for the child to understand that he is in charge, and the man should treat this normally.” In addition, single fathers are no less pragmatic than single mothers. “On our first date, Sergei immediately told me: I’m divorced, I want to get married again. Meeting him, I learned about myself again. And I really appreciate that he gave me this opportunity.”
Marina Stepanova's lonely voyage is also over. She met a 39-year-old widower who was raising his daughter alone. "We soon realized that with our schedules we could only meet once a month." For a year they saw each other only occasionally, communicated only by phone, then they realized: they either had to separate or unite their destinies. They chose the latter.
Arrange your personal life or leave everything as before?
“When my husband and I divorced after 10 years of marriage,” Elena Rybchinskaya confesses, “I promised myself to abide by the law of three “don’ts”: not to use my son in a relationship with my husband, not to get a facelift, not to turn into a lady ready to jump into bed with the first person I meet. Nevertheless, the first thing I did was go to a store where they sell beautiful underwear. Even if I have to take off my clothes in the presence of a new man, I would rather drown in expensive lace than in the modest, faceless lingerie of a stall. Surprisingly, but along with the new underwear, new thoughts appeared in me. A curious thing: for the first time in my adult life, I began to be embarrassed by thoughts about sex. In my pre-married life, everything was simple: do I want to sleep with this young man and does he want to sleep with me? In my married life - even simpler: do I want to sleep with my husband or do I just want to sleep? But intimate life after a divorce is a more complicated matter. With whom? When? And most importantly, why?
The only thing I was sure of until the end: I needed to make the right choice for myself and my nine-year-old son Nikita. A choice that would not leave psychological scars in our souls, which had already painfully experienced the breakup of our family. I understood perfectly well: the chances of making a stupid choice immediately after the divorce are very high! I didn’t want to plunge into a light romance that would lead to inevitable communication between my son and a complete stranger. I vowed not to introduce Nikita to any of my new acquaintances until our relationship moved to a more serious level. Sometimes I was even overly cautious. Dating a man after a divorce is like getting behind the wheel again after an accident. You understand that this is necessary, but you already realize how easy it is to lose control. In such a state, a woman needs, first of all, compliments and entertainment. But what in reality? A night spent with a man, the next day waiting in vain for his phone call and the belated realization that you have been fooled.
My vigilance became acute when my ex-husband had his first girlfriend, who stayed overnight even when Nikita came to visit his father for the weekend. I was worried about their rapidly developing relationship, because when we lived as one family, Nikita had a habit of bursting into our room in the morning without knocking and hugging us in turn. “You don’t need to go into daddy’s bedroom if the door is closed,” I said. "Because they're having sex?" - my son surprised me. "Maybe so". - “What is “having sex?” I tried to explain this process more simply. “What disgusting!” - the son winced. Quite a normal reaction of a child. Holding back a smile, I still repeated: “Don’t go into dad’s room without knocking.”
As far as I know, the son never came to his father without knocking and never asked me questions about sex. Although he, of course, was irritated by the inevitability of sharing his rightful hours with dad with some other aunt. And then I decided: until the passions subsided, I would not force my son to share his mother with someone else. Nikita needs a mother more than I need a dear friend.
Once a man appeared in my life, who on the first date (it also became the last) told me that he had not seen his teenage son for five years, because his ex-wife was so and so... I am still with I remember him with a shudder. I felt something similar to love for a man who kissed me as if I were the only woman on Earth: tenderly and at the same time passionately. I admired him. But, if I met that same man on the way, it was not the right time... Every single mother has the right to an intimate life. But safe, with a man who will never make you cry and will certainly never hurt your children. A woman needs a life filled with love and respect. In short, such that you suddenly want to shave your legs, worn out during the day, for someone. In the meantime, I spend Sunday evenings at home watching TV: a dozing cat is perched on one end of the sofa, and my beloved smiling son is on the other. And between them I am all romantic, old-fashioned and demanding, in a dressing gown, under which beautiful underwear is waiting in the wings.”
- Approximately 75% of divorced people are between the ages of 25 and 44.
- The more children a single mother has, the less chance she has of getting married again (about two million divorced women have one child, a million have two, half a million have three or more children under the age of 18).
- 75% of officially registered remarriages take place after a period of civil residence.
Psychologists consider one of the most common mistakes of single mothers to be an attempt to combine their personal life with family life. Don't rush to do this: the consequences can be very unpleasant. That's why:
Introduce your friend to your children only when necessary.
The children may become genuinely attached to him and will feel abandoned if your relationship ends. Some kids will painfully experience another loss.
Discuss your personal life less with your children.
First, introduce the man as a friend. This way you will not awaken feelings of anger or jealousy in the child, or provoke a completely understandable “strike” in relation to your friend.
Consider the age of the children.
Young children don't need to introduce their new playmate right away. Not yet understanding what a date is, they may worry: maybe this uncle will be the new dad. And they will see only one thing: a strange man is taking their beloved mother away from them. Older children are able to understand that mother should be happy not only in the family, but also outside it.
Diaries:
ON DECEMBER 6 I'M GOING TO THE ALTAI REGIONAL DRAMA THEATER FOR THE CONCERT OF VIKTOR KOROLEV. WHO'S WITH ME? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? EVERYONE PAYS FOR THEMSELVES. I HAVE A BALCONY TICKET, ROW - B5, SEAT - 17
No matter how hard a person tries to live, he still needs a family. Family cannot be replaced by money, career, or friends. Family is like an element of a puzzle: you find the missing piece, and the picture of life will come together...
EACH PERSON MAKES HIS OWN WAY TO PARADISE, AND BY PERFORMING GOOD ACTS WE ARE THEN OPENING THE GATES TO PARADISE FOR US, BECAUSE ONLY WITH THE PERMISSION OF THE ALMIGHTY WE CAN ENTER THESE GATES AND ENJOY PARADISE! MAY THE ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU AND FORGIVE YOU!
This year the weather has certainly been brutal... It’s hot in April and -2 in May and snowy, global warming is crazy! May beetles emerged this year on April 28 and I observed them for only 3 days, and then the cold came again. We're waiting for it to get warmer, maybe they'll come out yet, but for now this morning the cars were all frozen. Almost the first days of May there were only 2 days without rain, I was at the dacha during those days. It was cold and damp, so we had to constantly light the stove. There a local dog comes to visit me, we feed him what we can, the local dog is kind enough and smart. So it came in the rain on May 8, I was just sawing wood. I finished it and invited him with me, there was some old cheese left and I decided to give it to him. So I took the cheese and gave it to the dog, and this dog sniffed the cheese, laid his ears back and ran away from me. I’m shocked, I go to him and tell him to eat, he runs away from me. I looked at the blood on my hand, apparently they drank firewood, but I didn’t see how he shuffled on my hand, the dog sniffed it and ran away crazy. He threw this cheese into the bushes - he will have to eat it or someone else will eat it... This weekend he came to visit again, but he doesn’t come up to me, he usually came up to pet him, but here he stays a meter away from me and doesn’t come up. I tell him to go pet him - he jumps back and stays away... Such an impressionable dog.
it hurts - it’s when you spill boiling water on your feet, and then at night you bite the pillow; it hurts - it’s when you can’t hug your mom or dad because they are no longer in pain - it’s when you see a 5-year-old girl being hit by a car; it’s painful - it’s when a woman, having suffered for almost a day, does not hear the cry of his newborn child; pain is when a person dies, who most wanted to live; pain is when you learn about the crash of a plane in which a person close to you was flying; pain is when with one awkward movement of the hand you are made disabled and I can give many more examples when it really hurts, it stays inside you forever, there, at the very bottom of your soul, and all this unrequited love and breakups of yours is complete bullshit, it’s just that your vocabulary is too small, so everyone calls it pain, pain, which after a few bottles of vodka, cartons of cigarettes and a couple of strangers passes, the real one remains with us forever so shut up and think carefully about when it really hurts
We explore each other with the touch of our fingers. Is this passion? Is this flour? Or is it just nonsense? How desirable is this obedient participation. How gratifying that the word “no” did not escape your lips. We study each other... It’s almost tactless. But who can impose bans on this? Enjoy. Isn't it nice? I won't give you an answer. Kiss. Sorry... Body heat. From a glance. From touch. From breaths that are fighting with something else... And almost there is only a moment left before oblivion, When you become mine, and I become yours. The feeling of feelings - their intensity, temperament... There are no limits that cannot be crossed. We study each other – we erase all the edges. And the last edge encourages us to enter...
SEVEN RULES OF FREEDOM AND HAPPINESS 1. Rule of the Mirror. The people around me are my mirrors. They reflect features of my own personality, often unconscious to me. For example, if someone is rude to me, it means that I want it that way, I allow it. If someone deceives me again and again, then I am inclined to believe anyone. So there is no one to be offended by. 2. Rule of Selection. I realize that everything that happens in my life is the result of my own choice. And if today I communicate with a boring person, it means that I myself am boring and boring. There are no bad and evil people - there are unhappy ones. If I solve their problems, it means I like it. So there is no one to complain to. I am the reason for everything that happens to me. The author and creator of my destiny is myself. 3. Rule of Error. I agree that I may be wrong. Other people should not always consider my opinion or my actions correct. The real world is not only black and white, there is also light gray and dark white. I'm not an IDEAL, I'm just a good person and I have the right to make mistakes. The main thing is to be able to recognize it and correct it in time. 4. Rule of Correspondence. I have exactly what I correspond to, what I deserve, no more, no less, whether it concerns relationships with people, work or money. If I cannot love a person to the fullest, it is ridiculous to demand that this person love me THAT much. So all my complaints are meaningless. And at the same time, when I myself decide to change, the people around me also change (for the better) 5. Rule of Dependency. Nobody owes me anything. I am capable and can selflessly help everyone I can. And it makes me happy. To become kind, you need to become strong. To become strong, you need to believe that I can do anything. And I believe! But you also need to be able to speak 6. Rule of Presence. I live here and now. There is no past, because every next second the present comes. There is no future because it doesn't exist yet. Attachment to the past leads to depression, anxiety...
Once upon a time, she could get ready for a date all day long: shave her legs, pick out a dress, change to jeans, change her mind a hundred times... Now her main concern is who to leave the child with, and she can simply forget some little things.
2. Time is precious to her.
Children take up a lot of physical and moral strength, so in rare moments without them, mom wants to take a nap, watch a new movie, have a drink or do something else equally pleasant. But in reality, this time is more often devoted to cleaning, cooking and other household chores. Therefore, a single mother values her time most of all and will not waste it on those who are not worth it. If she gets bored on the first date, she will definitely prefer doing laundry over the second.
3. She may not give free rein to her emotions.
A single mother usually does not have time to sob into her pillow and experience emotional distress, because she is busy with children, home, and even work. Therefore, if she seems overly restrained and stern, it most likely only seems so.
4. Meeting her child is the most important event.
A single mother will definitely not introduce her boyfriend to her children after the first date. And after the second one. This requires a truly promising relationship, no matter how child-loving the new man may be. The reason is simple: children quickly get used to the new “dad”, and if he disappears after a week or a month, they will be very bored.
5. The child is her main priority.
A man in the life of a single mother will always be in the background. This is one of those things that doesn't need to be explained: she has poured her whole soul (and partly her body) into her offspring, and anyone who tries to break their connection will lose.
6. Sometimes she will have to take the child on playdates.
Of course, she would like sensual dates and preferably for the whole night. But the circumstance in the person of her child will have to be taken into account - after the man passes the acquaintance test. Sometimes there will be no one to leave him with or he will want to see “that guy” again. So you have to keep your feelings to yourself.
7. Communication with your ex-husband does not equal feelings for him.
If a single mother gives her child to her ex-husband or meets with him for some child affairs, this does not mean at all that they want everything back. They are simply good parents, and the child is the only thing that unites them now.
8. She might cancel the date.
Troubles happen, and most often with children. The date may be postponed if the baby suddenly gets sick, needs attention right now, or something unexpected happens. Don't be offended - anyone has the right to get sick.
9. She doesn't need saving
A single mother is not at all an unhappy person who is just waiting for a prince on a white horse to appear and save her from paying bills and screwing in light bulbs. There is a time for everything, and pity along with unsolicited help are inappropriate here. However, as in any other relationship.
6 simple truths about single mothers
I think that such characters have a much better chance of living their whole lives alone than women with children, whom they hate so much.But the most important thing: there were a lot of comments from the “singles” themselves, who either have already found a good husband or are still choosing among those who want to. But for some reason there were no complaints at all that the presence of a child was perceived by someone as a hindrance. Based on this, it was possible to formulate several truths that are clearly more relevant than outdated conjectures and stupid prejudices on the same topic. Let me announce them to you.
1. A man who is looking for a wife, he is not always eager to have children immediately. Some intelligent beings rightly believe that you first need to live together for a couple of years and make sure that you not only have love, but also complete love. In this sense, a single woman with a child is simply a gift, because she, as a rule, does not have the goal of immediately having another child. Therefore, she does not say that she is already 27, 29, 31 and then it will be too late. In addition, by choosing a woman with a child who is no longer breastfeeding, a man deprives himself of two years of sleep deprivation. Someone may like to go through all this screaming, diapers, etc. from the very beginning, but in general these are not the easiest couple of years. But, of course, you can always have a second child together and enjoy it all.
2. Someone else's child does not mean a bad child. Some will surpass any future dad in education, kindness and intelligence. Therefore, bad candidates for dads immediately have problems communicating with the child, and this is where theories that someone else’s child will never be their own, etc., come into play as an excuse for their own inferiority. Get these candidates to hell! There are many better ones and many more of them.
3. If a man truly loves a woman, he also loves her child. Personally, I don’t know of a single case when one of my friends, having fallen head over heels in love with some girl, suddenly exclaimed in horror: “What am I doing?! She has a child!” This didn't stop anyone. Even those who had previously talked about genetics and that he was unlikely to babysit other people’s children. Love doesn't just blow your mind - it also makes a person better. Teaches you to think with your heart and not with your head alone. True, if love leaves completely or a man falls in love with someone else, he can often abandon his own child. It’s better not to know what he’s thinking about this.
4. Despite the fact that outside the window is the 21st century, the Internet and other achievements of civilization, some women still think of hiding the fact that they have a child. They think that this might scare away a potential suitor. We have already found out what kind of men this can scare off. But a person who has fallen in love with you and has the most serious intentions will be scared off not by the child, but by the fact that you tried to deceive him from the very beginning. No relationship can be built on lies and insincerity.
5. Not everyone will believe it, but very often it is the child who helps the mother find a full-fledged family. It happens that while caring for a mother, a man becomes so attached to the child and feels how much they need each other that he is even ready to turn a blind eye to some of the mother’s shortcomings or whims. Of course, we are talking about normal relationships between a man and a child, and not about the criminal desires of a pedophile. Unfortunately, the Humbert-Humberts have not disappeared from the face of the earth, but here the mother herself must feel who she has become involved with.
6. No matter how rapidly the romance of a single mother with a lonely bachelor develops, some time must pass before the candidate for father is introduced to the child. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this - both single mothers and their boyfriends. Often young children become attached to their new dad very quickly. And if something goes wrong in the relationship and the couple doesn’t work out, the baby will suffer.
Of course, this is not a definitive list of truths on this topic. But I hope that many readers will now have something to answer the question of various neighbors, pseudo-girlfriends and other cretins, “Who will take you and your child?”
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No scandals in the house, independence and training of new skills, ingenuity and fortitude. Yes, yes, all this is about the advantages of living as a single mother. Why raising children alone is better for some than being stuck in an unhappy or stale relationship, says mom and columnist Tara Kennedy-Klein.
I was raised by a single mother. I have many friends and acquaintances who are raising children on their own, and I must tell you: everything they have achieved testifies to their strong character and originality. Prejudice against single mothers has always existed, but in my opinion it is much stronger than most people, if only because they have to work their “parenting muscles” more.
So here are 12 reasons why being a single mother isn't such a bad thing:
Single mothers don't need to negotiate
(if they don't want it)
All decisions in the house are one-sided, which means that a situation with a good cop and a bad cop will definitely not arise. So the decision is up to the mother. And the only reaction she has to deal with is: “It’s not fair! Woe is me!”, or something like that. Bonus: Since you're not arguing with your partner while trying to reach a consensus by responding to your child, you can teach your children from experience how to communicate and express dissatisfaction without yelling.
Unmarried mothers are role models for independence
When there is no one else to do what you cannot do, you have to learn to do it yourself. I know single moms who have changed tires, hooked up a TV and home theater, moved heavy furniture, hung shelves, cut down shrubs with a chainsaw, and assembled a lawnmower.
Such women teach their children how to be independent. And when they grow up and build relationships with someone, it will happen because they want it, and not because they need someone to survive.
A single mom is more likely to get enough sleep
The American National Sleep Foundation found that sleeping together in the same bed leads to a loss of 49 minutes of sleep per night. This is unacceptable for any mom, especially when tiny people are constantly barging into your bedroom at 6am. A single mother has a much higher chance of getting enough sleep - she is not disturbed by a partner who went to bed later, the light on, and especially not snoring.
Single mothers are masters of their bodies
Scientists at Cornell University (USA) found that women typically gain 2 to 4 kg in the first few years of marriage. The situation gets worse if they are unhappy in their marriage. The study found that in such cases, women gain 25 kg in weight during the first 10 years of marriage. Single moms don't have to skip the gym in favor of cuddling or going out with their partner. They don't have to give up salad for dinner because their spouse is craving hamburgers.
There are other freedoms that being alone gives you: you can sleep peacefully whenever you want, no one will pester you in the dark with opaque hints about sex. You can also wear what you want without asking anyone, “Is this blouse too low-cut?”
Give these girls a cape!
(Yes, single moms are superheroes)
Their children think their mothers are amazing. Yes, single mothers want their children to not feel left out. Such a mother can bake fifty cupcakes overnight for the fair the next day. She can teach them how to throw a curveball or dress up for a party with friends.
In single-parent families, frequent changes of roles are required, and when the mother can combine both, the children feel safe and calm. They know that they can trust their mother and cry into their vest in any situation.
The fight for survival creates a close-knit family
Some argue that single-parent families are bad for children because they grow up quickly. But in such families it is more important to unite and rely on each other, which brings them very close. Just like in sports, it is important to work as a team.
Single moms have a monopoly on the values they instill in their children.
Single mothers can raise their children with the morals, beliefs, character and life skills they believe are right without worrying about other people's opinions that go against their own. And they kicked the whining dad out the door a long time ago.
The success of her children is only her success
She is able to find the strength within herself to be as useful as possible for her children. This is an experience that many parents will never have. And the single mother feels a great sense of satisfaction when her children succeed, no matter what, because she was the best parent she could be. This is a reward for all her hard work and sacrifice.
Single mothers are resourceful and cunning individuals
Being the sole breadwinner is not easy, but this does not mean that a single-parent family cannot be happy and fulfilling. Circumstances push mom to various creative tricks in managing the household. Instead of buying a sheep costume for the school play, she and her children sew cotton balls onto pillowcases.
Single moms are masters of leisure. They make ice cream at home, build camping tents in the living room, and tell scary stories by flashlight. They become brilliant confectioners, creating masterpieces from store-bought biscuits and frosting, and a second-hand dress can easily be turned into a great prom outfit.
They don't have a mother-in-law!
However, some still have babysitters who are their exes. And this is quite a reason for joy.
Single mothers don't have to share their children with anyone every day
It's a little selfish, but understandable. Unlike their married friends, they don't have to give anyone else their time or attention if they don't want to. Single mothers can focus all their attention on their children without having to deal with the “jealous dad syndrome” who wants to steal the attention (yes, that exists).
Single mothers inspire us
They overcome challenges and do things they thought they couldn't do. This gives others confidence in their abilities. We think, “Hey, if my single friend can get a job, raise three kids, and go back to school, I can try running a marathon or learning Spanish.”
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