The ability to overcome fear, confusion, calmly assess the situation and accept correct solution, as well as avoiding quarrels and scandals can have a very good service.
Try not to dramatize the situation where it is not necessary. Some people, especially emotional and impressionable people, are prone to excessive dramatization. In the most severe cases, they are capable of elevating any trifle to the rank of almost a universal tragedy. This harms both them and those around them, because communicating with such a vulnerable and emotional person is not an easy test.
Master the technique of self-hypnosis, convince yourself that the problem is not as serious (let alone dangerous) as you think. It's not worth making you nervous and making those around you nervous. Try to avoid an immediate reaction to unpleasant news or someone's offensive words. First, take a few deep breaths and mentally count to ten (even better, to twenty). This extremely simple method will help you stay calm and avoid an outburst of anger or resentment.
Don’t rush to immediately share your problems with others, share your concerns on blogs and social networking pages. Friends and well-wishers will most likely only aggravate your condition with their (often excessive) sympathies, and random interlocutors, and simply not very smart people, can make you laugh. This obviously won’t bring you peace of mind.
How to learn to control emotions
Avoid things that make you nervous and worried. Take care of yourself. In what situation, under what circumstances, do you most quickly lose your composure and are capable of entering into conflict? It can be anything: time of day, degree of workload with work and home affairs, feeling of hunger, headache, annoying noise, uncomfortable tight shoes, communication with unpleasant people, etc. Eliminate these factors, or at least try to minimize them. And on the contrary, use in every possible way what calms you down and puts you in a peaceful state, be it quiet minor music, reading your favorite books or an aromatic bath.
Visit more often fresh air, try to maintain a measured and orderly daily routine. Even with a heavy workload, it is very important to pay attention to proper rest and sleep. Since the cause of increased nervousness and conflict is often elementary physical and nervous fatigue.
Learning to remain calm in any situation is important for every person. Indeed, negative emotions such as anger, fear and panic can exhaust anyone, and in return they do not provide anything useful. On the contrary, those who cannot control their emotions often end up with some unpleasant consequences. chronic illness. People who know how to save composure, achieve success, do not spoil relationships with loved ones, and get everything done on time.
Instructions
Don't make mountains out of molehills. In any situation, try to soberly assess what is happening. Watch what you think. How often do phrases like “always” or “when it’s finally” flash through your head? If instead you think “it’s not that scary” and “I’m stronger than these circumstances”, then everything will begin to seem easier and you will get rid of anxiety.
If you have a problem, first try to think about it yourself, and then share it with others. How often, when you tell your friends information that horrifies you, do you see the same reaction on their faces? They begin to empathize with what they hear from you, which may be an exaggerated or misunderstood situation. Meanwhile, you are completely affirmed in what you just told them, even if you yourself know that you exaggerated a little.
When you are in a difficult situation, to calm down, try to imagine the problem as an incomprehensible tangled knot. If you are nervous, the knot tightens. When you are calm, he relaxes, you have a chance to unravel everything easily.
Control your gestures. Don't scream or run from corner to corner. Speak slowly and move smoothly. Try to look calm, and before you know it, you will actually calm down.
Many people who are busy solving problems are hindered external stimuli. They would calmly cope with the task if they managed to get rid of them. Some people are unable to think in silence, while others are disturbed by noise. It is almost always possible to temporarily leave circumstances that irritate you in themselves, so that you can make the right decision away from them. For example, if your thoughts are disturbed by conversations and household noise in your home, then you can take a walk in the park and calmly assess your problem there.
Sometimes life presents situations in which every little thing irritates: the husband doesn’t thank you for dinner, the children don’t want to pack up their toys, and the boss reprimands you for not completing a task on time...
Is it possible to get rid of superficial irritability and become self-confident? Psychologists assure that it is not only possible, but also necessary: it makes life much easier and helps maintain peace and balance.
Why does a person lose his calm?
Having exploded once again over some trivial matter, the woman begins to think about how to be calm and not get nervous. They use sedatives, heart-to-heart conversations with a close friend, auto-training, and even loudly counting to ten in a critical situation. But the exhausted body demands its way and again a breakdown follows with ridiculous decisions dictated not by common sense, but by impulse and momentary emotions.
Each time, the loss of calm is repeated simply because there is no exact and only correct recipe for how to remain calm in any situation. Therefore, before looking for ways out of the current situation, it is worth understanding its causes. Why do some women lose their calm over trivial matters, while others can boast of iron restraint?
Among the most common reasons for loss of calm are:
- “Triggers”, that is, things, people or events that irritate us for reasons unknown to us: for example, a neighbor with a dog or rush hour on the subway.
- Prolonged depression, combined with hopelessness and anxiety, can cause irascibility.
- Chronic fatigue and lack of vitamins can also cause a loss of calm.
- The presence of physical discomfort: when a person is hungry or cold, even a minor reason is enough to make him angry.
- Presence of diseases: for example, with diabetes mellitus or illness thyroid gland Increased irritability is often noted.
By identifying the cause of your irritation, you can solve it, rather than deal with the consequences of a temper that just signals, for example, fatigue or malaise.
FACT! During pregnancy, many women experience difficulties with balance and adequate reactions to familiar situations. Don't be afraid - it's just the effect of changing hormonal levels.
Calm, just calm!
Psychologists say with confidence: despite the fact that there is no universal method on how to become calm and not be nervous, every person can learn to remain calm in certain life situations.
- Change your perspective on familiar things. Look at the world through a positive lens: love yourself and those around you. Forgive yourself and others for minor mistakes and shortcomings, do not reproach or put pressure on them. Show patience and understanding, learn to stop your irritation. Before you worry, consider the appropriateness of this behavior: what will change and who will benefit from worrying.
- Change your behavior. If a stressful situation is inevitable, then you should change your reaction to it: try to restrain your negative reaction, model the development of the situation, avoid communicating with people who are prone to drama. Look at things through the eyes of a wise grandmother life experience kind old lady.
- Relax. In any situation, it is important to try to remain calm. To do this, psychologists advise relaxing, and everyone does it in their own way: some listen to quiet music, some use aromatic oils, some meditate. Many women find children and animals to be a calming factor, so engage in therapeutic playtime with your baby and cat.
These simple and transparent tips for everyone will help you understand how to learn to be calm and make your dreams of balance come true.
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It's never too late to change your behavior and learn to calmly accept the world and people. Only after a woman begins to look at the world calmly and balancedly does she understand how much peace means in life. Your peace of mind is the key to personal and family well-being, a friendly climate at work and strong friendships.
“Let troubled water calm down and it will become clear.” (Lao Tzu)
«
Never rush and you will arrive on time»
. (C. Talleyrand)
Another article from the “every day” section - theme of peace in human life. How to stay calm, why calm is so good for life and health. We specifically placed this article in the “every day” section, because we believe that it will be useful for every person to calm down in time, put their thoughts in order and just relax. When we make a hasty or emotional decision, we sometimes become disappointed and regret what we did after a while, feeling guilty. To prevent such situations from happening, you need to take this skill into your arsenal. And in general, peace of mind will have the most beneficial effect on health and success in life. In a clear and calm state, a person is able to more soberly assess the situation, feel himself and the world. Let's try to figure out what calmness is and try on this feeling for ourselves.
Your thoughts are like circles on water. Clarity disappears in excitement, but if you let the waves calm down, the answer will become obvious. (Cartoon Kung Fu Panda)
So, what are the benefits of peace of mind:
Calmness gives strength - to overcome external obstacles and internal contradictions.
Calmness gives liberation - it contains fears, complexes and self-doubt.
Calmness shows the way - for self-improvement.
Peace of mind comes from goodwill – from the people around you.
Calmness gives confidence – in one’s own abilities.
Calmness gives clarity - thoughts and actions.
Calm is a state of mind in which internal conflicts and contradictions do not arise, and external objects are perceived equally balanced.
Manifestations of calmness in everyday life; everyday situations, discussions, in families, extreme situations:
Everyday situations. The ability to extinguish a beginning quarrel between friends or loved ones is a skill calm person.
Discussions. The ability to calmly, without getting excited or lost, to defend one’s position is the ability of a calm person.
Scientific experiments. Only calm confidence in their own rightness helps scientists move towards their intended goal through a series of failures.
Extreme situations. Clarity of mind and rationality of actions are the advantages of a calm person that increase his chances of salvation even in the most difficult situations.
Diplomacy. A necessary quality for a diplomat is calm; it helps to restrain emotions and perform only rational actions.
Family education. Parents who raise their children in a calm environment, without excesses and loud quarrels, instill calmness in their children.
One cannot but agree:
Calmness is the ability to maintain clarity of mind and sobriety under any external circumstances.
Calmness is the willingness to always act rationally, based on logical conclusions, and not on an emotional outburst.
Calmness is a person’s self-control and strength of character, which helps to survive in force majeure and achieve success in ordinary circumstances.
Calmness is an expression of sincere trust in life and the world around us.
Calmness is a benevolent attitude towards the world and a friendly attitude towards people.
If you feel like time is passing too quickly, slow down your breathing....
How to achieve calmness, how to calm down right now, how to find calmness in practice
1. Sit on a chair and completely relax. Starting from your toes and gradually moving up to your head, relax every part of your body. Confirm relaxation with words: “My toes are relaxed... my fingers are relaxed... my facial muscles are relaxed...”, etc.
2. Imagine your mind as the surface of a lake in a thunderstorm, with waves rising and water bubbling.. But the waves subsided, and the surface of the lake became calm and smooth.
3. Spend two or three minutes recalling the most beautiful and tranquil scenes you have ever beheld.: for example, a mountainside at sunset, or a deep plain filled with the silence of the early morning, or a forest at noon, or the reflection of moonlight on ripples of water. Relive these pictures in your memory.
4. Repeat slowly the words of calm, calmly, melodiously a series of words expressing peace and quiet, for example: calm (say it slowly, in a low voice); serenity; silence. Think of some other words of this type and repeat them.
5. Make a mental list of times in your life when you knew you were under God's protection, and remember how He brought everything back to normal and calmed you down when you were worried and scared. Then read aloud this line from the old hymn: “Thy power has guarded me so long that I know it will QUIETLY guide me further.”
6. Repeat the following verse, which has amazing power to relax and calm the mind.: « You keep him who is strong in spirit in perfect peace, for he trusts in You."(Book of the Prophet Isaiah 26:3). Repeat it several times during the day, as soon as you have a free minute. Repeat this, if possible, out loud so that by the end of the day you have time to say it many times. See these words as powerful, vital words that penetrate your mind, and from there it sends them out into every area of your thinking, like a healing balm. This is the most effective medicine to remove tension from your mind..
7. Allow your breathing to bring you to a calm state. Conscious breathing, which is a powerful meditation in itself, will gradually bring you into contact with the body. Pay attention to your breathing, how the air moves in and out of your body. Inhale and feel how with each inhalation and exhalation your stomach first rises slightly and then falls. If visualization is easy enough for you, then simply close your eyes and imagine yourself engulfed in light or immersed in a luminous substance - in a sea of consciousness. Now breathe in this light. Feel how the luminous substance fills your body and also makes it glow. Then gradually shift your focus more to the feeling. So you are in the body. Just don't get attached to any visual image.
As you develop the techniques suggested in this chapter, the tendency toward the old behavior of tearing and throwing will gradually change. In direct proportion to your progress, the strength and ability to cope with any responsibility in your life will increase, which was previously suppressed by this unfortunate habit.
Learning to be calm - How to remain calm at a crucial moment, and in difficult situations, sound reasoning about a person’s calmness and emotions (in some places, especially at the beginning and end, and in the middle in some places):
What other methods and ways of finding peace of mind exist in life, where to go for peace of mind, what will help you find peace of mind, where to find peace of mind:
Faith gives a person peace of mind. A believer is always confident that everything in life - both good and bad - has meaning. Therefore, faith gives a person peace of mind. - "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."(Gospel of Matthew 11:28)
Psychological trainings. Trainings inner peace can help a person throw off the shackles of self-doubt and get rid of fears; therefore, cultivate calmness in yourself.
Self improvement. The basis of calm is self-confidence; by overcoming complexes and constriction, cultivating self-respect, a person approaches a state of calm.
Education. For peace of mind, understanding is necessary - in order to understand the nature of things and their interrelationship, a person needs education
Selected quotes and aphorisms about calmness:
What elements make up happiness? Only of two, gentlemen, only of two: a calm soul and healthy body. (Michael Bulgakov)
The greatest peace of heart is possessed by the one who cares neither about praise nor about blame. (Thomas à Kempis)
The highest degree of human wisdom is the ability to adapt to circumstances and remain calm despite external storms. (Daniel Defoe)
Peace of mind is the best relief in trouble. (Plautus)
Passions are nothing more than ideas in their first development: they belong to the youth of the heart, and he is a fool who thinks to worry about them all his life: many calm rivers begin with noisy waterfalls, but not one jumps and foams all the way to the sea. (Mikhail Lermontov)
Everything usually goes well as long as we are calm. This is the law of nature. (Max Fry)
What useful things will I take away for myself and for life from this article:
If any difficulties arise in life, I will first calm down and then make the right decision....
I will remember quotes about calmness that will help me in difficult times, in times of unrest....
I will put the methods of entering a calm state into practice....
We must value peace of mind if we want to live our lives happily!
That's all Dear Friends, stay with us - your favorite - site
How to stay calm, the health benefits of calm, or how to stop tearing and throwing.
Many people unnecessarily complicate their lives, wasting their strength and energy, succumbing to an uncontrollable state, which is expressed in the words “tearing and throwing.”
Does it happen to you that you “tear and rush”? If yes, then I will paint you a picture of this condition. The word "to tear" means boiling, explosion, release of steam, irritation, confusion, seething. The word "throw" has similar meanings. When I hear it, I remember a sick child at night, who is capricious and either screams or whines pitifully. As soon as it subsides, it starts again. This is an annoying, annoying, destructive act. Throwing is a children's term, but it describes the emotional reaction of many adults.
The Bible advises us: “...not in Your wrath...” (Psalm 37:2). This is useful advice for people of our time. We need to stop tearing and throwing and find peace if we want to maintain the strength for an active life. How can this be achieved?
The first stage is to moderate your stride, or at least the pace of your steps. We don't realize how much the pace of our lives has increased or the speed we set for ourselves. Many people are destroying their physical bodies at this rate, but what is even sadder is that they are also tearing their minds and souls to shreds. A person can live a calm physical life and at the same time maintain a high emotional pace. From this point of view, even a disabled person can live at too high a pace. This term defines the nature of our thoughts. When the mind frantically jumps from one position to another, it becomes extremely agitated, and the result is a state close to a flash of irritation. The pace of modern life must be slowed down if we do not want to suffer later from the debilitating overstimulation and excessive worry it causes. Such overexcitation produces toxic substances in the human body and leads to illnesses of an emotional nature. This is where fatigue and a feeling of disappointment arise, which is why we tear up and fight when it comes to everything, from our personal problems to events on a national or global scale. But if the influence of this emotional anxiety produces such an effect on our physiology, then what can we say about the effect on that deep inner essence of a person, which is called the soul?
It is impossible to find peace of mind when the pace of life increases so feverishly. God can't go that fast. He won't make an effort to keep up with you. It is as if He is saying, “Go ahead if you must adjust to this foolish pace, and when you are exhausted, I will offer you My healing. But I can make your life very fulfilling if you will slow down now and begin to live, move and abide in Me.” God moves calmly, slowly and in perfect harmony. The only reasonable pace for life is Divine Tempo. God makes sure that everything is done and done correctly. He does everything without haste. He doesn't tear or rush. He is calm, and therefore his actions are effective. This same peace is offered to us: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you...” (Gospel of John 14:27).
In a certain sense, this generation is worthy of pity, especially in big cities, since it is under the influence of constant nervous tension, artificial excitation and noise. But this disease also penetrates into remote rural areas, since air waves transmit this tension even there.
I was made to laugh by one elderly lady who, while discussing this problem, said: “Life is so mundane.” This line very well captures the pressure, responsibility and tension that everyday life brings to us. The constant insistent demands placed on us by life provoke this tension.
Someone may object: isn’t this generation so accustomed to tension that many feel unhappy due to the incomprehensible discomfort caused by the absence of the usual tension? The deep tranquility of forests and valleys, so well known to our forefathers, is an unusual state for modern people. The pace of their lives is such that in many cases they find themselves unable to find the sources of peace and quiet that the material world offers them.
One summer afternoon, my wife and I went for a long walk in the forest. We stayed at a beautiful mountain lodge on Lake Mohonk, located in one of America's most wonderful natural parks - 7,500 acres of virgin mountain slopes, between which is a lake that lies like a pearl in the middle of the forest. The word mohonk means "lake in the sky." Many centuries ago, a certain giant raised this part of the earth, which is why sheer cliffs were formed. From the dark forest you emerge onto a majestic headland, and your eyes rest on the vast clearings spread between hills strewn with stones and ancient as the sun. These forests, mountains and valleys are the place where one should get away from the turmoil of this world.
This afternoon, while walking, we watched the summer showers give way to bright sunlight. We were soaked through and began to discuss this excitedly, since it was necessary to wring out our clothes somewhere. And then we agreed that nothing bad will happen to a person if he gets a little wet with clean rainwater that the rain is so pleasantly cold and refreshes the face and that you can sit in the sun and dry off. We walked under the trees and talked, and then fell silent.
We listened, listened to the silence. Frankly, the woods are never quiet. An incredible, but invisible activity is constantly unfolding there, but nature does not make any sharp noises, despite the gigantic volume of its work. Natural sounds are always calm and harmonious.
On this beautiful afternoon, nature laid its hand of healing calm on us, and we felt the tension leave our body.
Just at the moment when we were under the spell of this spell, the distant sounds of music reached us. It was a fast, nervous variation of jazz. Soon three young men walked past us - two women and a man. The latter carried a portable radio. These were city dwellers who went for a walk in the forest and, out of habit, brought their city noise with them. They were not only young, but also friendly, because they stopped,
and we had a very nice conversation with them. I wanted to ask them to turn off the radio and invite them to listen to the music of the forest, but I understood that I had no right to lecture them. In the end they went their separate ways.
We talked about the fact that they lose a lot from this noise, that they can go through this calm and not hear the harmony and melodies as ancient as the world, the likes of which man will never be able to create: the song of the wind in the branches of the trees, the sweetest trills of birds pouring out in singing your heart, and the inexplicable musical accompaniment of all spheres in general.
All this can still be found in the countryside, in our forests and endless plains, in our valleys, in the grandeur of our mountains, in the sound of foamy waves on the coastal sand. We should take advantage of their healing power. Remember the words of Jesus: “Go alone to a deserted place and rest a little” (Mark 6:31). Even now, as I write these words and give you this good advice, I remember occasions when I needed to remind myself and put into practice the same truth that teaches that we must value peace if we want to live our lives happily.
One autumn day Mrs. Peale and I took a trip to Massachusetts to see our son John, who was then studying at Deerfield Academy. We informed him that we would arrive promptly at 11am, as we prided ourselves on our good old-fashioned habit of being punctual. Therefore, noticing that we were a little late, we rushed headlong through the autumn landscape. But then the wife said, “Norman, do you see that sparkling mountainside?” “Which mountainside?” - I asked. “He was just on the other side,” she explained. “Look at this wonderful tree.” “What other tree?” - I was already a mile away from him. “This is one of the most magnificent days I have ever seen,” said the wife. - Is it possible to imagine such amazing colors as those that color the mountain slopes in New England in October? In essence,” she added, “it makes me happy from the inside out.”
This remark made such an impression on me that I stopped the car and turned back towards the lake, a quarter of a mile away and surrounded by steep hills dressed in autumn clothes. We sat down on the grass, looked at this beauty and thought. God, with the help of His genius and unsurpassed art, decorated this scene with a variety of colors that only He could create. In the still water of the lake there was a picture worthy of His greatness - a mountain slope of unforgettable beauty was reflected in this pond, as in a mirror. We sat for some time without saying a word, until finally my wife broke the silence with the only appropriate statement in such a situation: “ He leads me to still waters"(Psalm 22:2). We arrived in Deerfield at 11 a.m. but didn't feel any fatigue. On the contrary, we even seemed to be thoroughly refreshed.
To help reduce this daily stress, which seems to be the dominant condition of our people everywhere, you can start by slowing down your own pace. To do this, you need to slow down and calm down. Don't get annoyed. Don't worry. Try to remain calm. Follow this instruction: “...and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding...” (Philippians 4:7). Then notice how a feeling of calm strength wells up within you. A friend of mine who was forced to go on vacation because of the “pressure” he had acquired wrote me the following: “I learned a lot during this forced vacation. Now I understand what I did not understand before: in silence we are aware of His presence. Life can get extremely hectic. But as Lao Tzu says, let the troubled water calm down and it will become clear».
One doctor gave rather eccentric advice to his patient, an overly burdened businessman from the category of active acquirers. He excitedly told the doctor what an incredible amount of work he was forced to do, and that he had to do it immediately, quickly, or else...
“And I bring home my work in my briefcase for the evening,” he said excitedly. “Why do you bring work home every evening?” - the doctor asked calmly. “I have to do it,” the businessman said irritably. “Couldn’t someone else do it or help you deal with it?” - asked the doctor. “No,” the patient blurted out. - I'm the only one who can do it. It must be done right, and only I can do it right. It must be done quickly. It all depends on me". “If I give you a prescription, will you follow it?” - asked the doctor.
Believe it or not, this was the doctor's order: the patient was to take two hours out of each work day for a long walk. Then once a week he had to spend half a day in the cemetery.
The surprised businessman asked: “Why should I spend half my day in a cemetery?” “Because I want you to wander around and look at the headstones on the graves of the people who found their eternal rest there. I want you to reflect on the fact that many of them are there because they thought just like you, as if the whole world rested on their shoulders. Consider the serious fact that when you get there permanently, the world will remain the same as before, and other people just as important as you will be doing the same work that you are doing now. I advise you to sit on one of the tombstones and repeat the following verse: “ For in Your sight a thousand years are like yesterday when it is past, and like a watch in the night."(Psalm 89:5).
The patient understood this idea. He moderated his pace. He learned to delegate authority to other, fairly authoritative persons. He came to a correct understanding of his own importance. Stopped tearing and throwing. I found peace. And it should be added that he began to cope better with his work. He has developed a better organizational structure and admits that his business is now in better shape than before.
One famous industrialist suffered greatly from overload. Essentially, his mind was tuned to a state of constantly tense nerves. This is how he described his awakening: every morning he would jump out of bed and immediately start up at full throttle. He was in such a hurry and excitement that he “made himself a breakfast of soft-boiled eggs just because they go faster.” This hectic pace tired and exhausted him to the point of exhaustion by mid-day. Every evening he fell into bed completely exhausted.
It so happened that his house turned out to be located in a small grove. Early one morning, unable to sleep, he got up and sat by the window. And then he began to watch with interest the newly awakened bird. He noticed that the bird was sleeping with its head hidden under its wing, tightly covered with feathers. Having woken up, she stuck her beak out from under the feathers, looked around with her eyes still clouded from sleep, extended one leg to its full length, at the same time stretching her wing along it, opening it in the form of a fan. Then she retracted her paw and folded her wing and repeated the same procedure with the other paw and wing, after which she again hid her head in the feathers to take a little more sweet nap, and stuck her head out again. This time the bird looked around intently, turning its head back, stretched twice more, then uttered a trill - a touching, delightful song of praise for a new day - after which it flew down from the branch, took a sip of cold water and went in search of food.
My nervous friend said to himself: “If this method of awakening works for birds, slow and easy, then why wouldn’t it work for me?”
And he actually did the same performance, including singing, and noticed that the song had a particularly beneficial effect, since it served as a kind of reliever.
“I don’t know how to sing,” he grinned, remembering, “but I practiced: I sat quietly in a chair and sang. Mostly I sang hymns and happy songs. Just imagine - I’m singing! But I did it. My wife thought I was crazy. The only way my program differed from the bird’s was that I also prayed, and then, like the bird, I began to feel that it would not hurt for me to refresh myself, or rather, to eat a solid breakfast - scrambled eggs with ham. And I devoted the allotted time to this. Then, with a peaceful mind, I went to work. All this really contributed to an effective start to the day, without any stress, and helped to work through the day in a calm and relaxed state.”
A former member of a champion university rowing team told me that their team coach, a very insightful man, often reminded them: “ To win this or any other competition, row slowly " He pointed out that hasty rowing, as a rule, disrupts the stroke of the oar, and if this happens, then it is very difficult for the team to restore the rhythm necessary for victory. Meanwhile, other teams bypass the unlucky group. Truly this is wise advice - “to swim fast, row slowly”.
In order to row slowly or work leisurely and maintain a steady pace that leads to victory, the victim of high tempos would do well to coordinate his actions with the peace of God in his own mind, soul and, it might not hurt to add, also in his nerves and muscles.
Have you ever thought about the importance of the presence of Divine peace in your muscles and joints? Perhaps your joints would not hurt so much if there was Divine peace in them. Your muscles will work interconnectedly if their action is controlled by the Divine creative power. Every day tell your muscles, joints and nerves: “...not in Your wrath...” (Psalm 37:2). Relax on your couch or bed, think of each vital muscle from your head to your toes, and say to each one, “Divine peace is upon you.” Then learn to feel the calm flow through your entire body. In due time, your muscles and joints will be in perfect order.
Take your time because what you really want will be there in due time if you work towards it without stress or fuss. But if, continuing to follow Divine guidance and His smooth and unhurried pace, you do not get the desired result, then you must assume that it should not exist. If you missed it, it's probably for the best. Therefore, try to develop a normal, natural, God-determined pace. Develop and maintain mental calm. Learn the art of getting rid of all nervous excitement. To do this, stop your activities from time to time and affirm: “Now I am releasing nervous excitement - it flows out of me. I am calm". Don't tear it. Don't rush around. Develop calm.
In order to achieve this productive state of life, I recommend developing a calm mindset. Every day we perform a number of necessary procedures related to taking care of our body: taking a shower or bath, brushing our teeth, doing morning exercises. Likewise, we should devote some time and some effort to keeping our mind healthy. One way to achieve this is to sit in a quiet place and run a series of calming thoughts through your mind. For example, some memory of a majestic mountain you once saw or a valley above which fog rises, of a river sparkling in the sun where trout splashes, or the silvery reflection of moonlight on the surface of the water.
At least once a day, preferably during the most busy period of the day, deliberately stop all sorts of activities for ten to fifteen minutes and practice a state of serenity.
There are times when it is necessary to resolutely curb our unrestrained pace, and I must emphasize that the only way to stop is to stop.
Once I went to one of the cities to give a lecture, which had been agreed upon in advance, and was met by representatives of some committee at the train. I was immediately quickly dragged into a bookstore, where I was forced to sign autographs. Then, just as quickly, I was dragged to a light breakfast arranged in my honor, after I quickly devoured this breakfast, I was picked up and taken to the meeting. After the meeting, I was driven back to the hotel at the same speed, where I changed clothes, after which I was hastily escorted to some reception, where I was greeted by several hundred people and where I drank three glasses of punch. Then I was quickly brought back to the hotel and warned that I had twenty minutes to change clothes for dinner. As I was changing, the phone rang and someone said, “Hurry up, please, we have to rush to lunch.” I answered excitedly: “I’m already rushing.”
I quickly ran out of the room, so excited that I could barely get the key into the keyhole. Having quickly felt myself to make sure I was fully dressed, I rushed to the elevator. And then he stopped. It took my breath away. I asked myself: “What is all this for? What is the point in this continuous race? It's funny!
And then I declared my independence and said: “I don’t care whether I get to dinner or not. I don't care whether I give a speech or not. I don’t have to go to this dinner and I don’t have to give a speech.” After that, I deliberately slowly returned to my room and slowly unlocked the door. Then he called the attendant, who was waiting below, and said: “If you are hungry, go ahead. If you want to take a place for me, then after some time I will go down, but I don’t intend to rush anywhere else.”
So I sat, rested and prayed for fifteen minutes. I will never forget the feeling of peace and self-control I felt when I left the room. It was as if I had heroically overcome something, taken control of my emotions, and when I arrived for dinner, the guests had just finished the first course. I only missed the soup, which, by all accounts, was not such a big loss.
This incident made it possible to verify the amazing effect of the healing Divine presence. I acquired these values in a very simple way - stopping, quietly reading the Bible, praying sincerely, and filling my mind with calming thoughts for a few minutes.
Doctors generally believe that most physical ailments could be avoided or overcome by constantly practicing the philosophical attitude - there is no need to tear and throw.
A well-known New Yorker once told me that his doctor advised him to come to our church clinic. “Because,” he said, “you need to develop a philosophical way of life. Your energy resources are exhausted."
“My doctor says I'm pushing myself to the limit. He says that I am too tense, too tense, that I tear and sword too much. He declares that the only suitable treatment for me is the development of what he calls a philosophical way of life."
My visitor stood up and began pacing excitedly up and down the room, and then asked: “But how the hell can I work this out? It’s easy to say, but difficult to do.”
Then this excited gentleman continued his story. His doctor gave him certain recommendations for developing this calm, philosophical way of life. The recommendations turned out to be really wise. “But then,” the patient explained, “the doctor suggested that I should see your people here at the church, because he believed that if I learned to put religious faith into practice, it would give me peace of mind and lower my blood pressure, after which will make me feel better physically. And although I admit that my doctor’s prescription makes sense,” he concluded plaintively, “how can a fifty-year-old man, as high-strung by nature as I am, suddenly change the habits that he acquired throughout his life and develop this so-called philosophical image life?
Indeed, this did not seem to be an easy problem, since this man was a complete bundle of nerves inflated to the limit. He paced around the room, pounded the table with his fist, spoke in a loud, excited voice, and gave the impression of an extremely alarmed, confused person. Obviously, his affairs were in a very bad state, but in parallel with this, his internal state. The picture thus obtained gave us a chance to help him because we were able to better understand his essence.
Listening to his words and observing his attitude, I understood anew why Jesus Christ has consistently maintained his amazing influence on people. Because He had the answer to problems like this, and I tested this fact by suddenly changing the topic of our conversation. Without any opening remarks I began to quote some passages from the Bible, for example: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). And again: “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you: not as the world gives, I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (Gospel of John 14:27). And again: “You will keep him who is strong in spirit in perfect peace, for he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3).
I quoted these words quietly, slowly, thoughtfully. As soon as I fell silent, I immediately noticed that my visitor’s excitement had subsided. Calm came over him and we both sat in silence for a while. It seemed like we sat there for a few minutes, maybe less, but then he took a deep breath and said, “It's funny, I feel a lot better. Isn't that weird? I think those words did it." “No, not only the words,” I replied, “although they certainly had a significant impact on your mind, but also something incomprehensible that happened after that. A minute ago He touched you - the Healer - with His healing touch. He was present in this room."
My visitor did not show any surprise at this statement, but readily and impulsively agreed - and conviction was written on his face. “That's right, He was definitely here. I felt Him. I understand what you meant. Now I know that Jesus Christ will help me develop a philosophical way of life.”
This man has found something that opens everything up for himself larger number people at the present time: simple faith and the use of the principles and methods of Christianity give peace and quiet, and therefore new strength body, mind and spirit. This is the perfect antidote for those who vomit and rush. It helps a person find peace and thus discover new resources of strength.
Of course, it was necessary to teach this person a new way of thinking and behavior. This was done in part with the help of relevant literature written by experts in the field of spiritual culture. For example, we gave him lessons in the skill of going to church. We showed him that church service can be seen as a kind of therapy. We instructed him on the scientific use of prayer and relaxation. And eventually, as a result of this practice, he became a healthy person. Anyone who is willing to follow this program and sincerely use these principles day after day, I am confident, will be able to develop inner peace and strength. Many of these methods are presented in this book.
Emotional control is of paramount importance in the daily practice of healing modalities. Emotional control cannot be achieved overnight. magic wand or some easy way. You can't develop this simply by reading a book, although that often helps. The only guaranteed method is regular, persistent, scientifically based work in this direction and the development of creative faith.
I advise you to begin with such a thorough and simple procedure as the regular practice of being in physical peace. Don't walk from corner to corner. Don't wring your hands. Don't pound your fists on the table, don't shout, don't quarrel. Don't allow yourself to work to the point of exhaustion. With nervous excitement, a person’s physical movements become convulsive. Therefore, start with the simplest thing, stopping all physical movement. Stand still or sit or lie down for a while. And, it goes without saying, speak only in the lowest tones.
When developing control over your state, you need to think about silence, since the body is very sensitive and responds to the way of thinking that dominates the mind. Indeed, the mind can be calmed by calming the body first. In other words, physical state can produce a desired mental attitude.
Once in my speech I touched upon the following incident, which occurred at a meeting of some committee where I was then present. One gentleman who heard me tell this story was greatly impressed by it, and he took this truth to heart. He tried the suggested methods and reported that they were very effective in gaining control of his tearing and throwing habits.
I once attended a meeting where the heated discussion became quite heated at the end. Passions flared up, and some of the participants were almost on the verge of a breakdown. Harsh remarks followed. And suddenly one man stood up, slowly took off his jacket, unbuttoned the collar of his shirt and lay down on the couch. Everyone was amazed, and someone even asked if he was sick.
“No,” he said, “I feel great, but I’m starting to lose my temper, and I know from experience that it’s hard to lose your temper while lying down.”
We all laughed and the tension subsided. Our eccentric friend then went into further explanation and told how he had learned to play “one little trick” on himself. He had an unbalanced character, and when he felt that he was losing his temper and began to clench his fists and raise his voice, he immediately slowly spread his fingers, preventing them from clenching into a fist again. He did the same with his voice: when tension increased or anger grew, he deliberately suppressed the sound of his voice and switched to a whisper. “It’s absolutely impossible to argue in a whisper,” he said with a laugh.
This principle can be effective in controlling emotional arousal, irritation and tension, as many have found in similar experiments. Therefore, the initial step in achieving a calm state is to practice your physical reactions. You will be surprised at how quickly this will cool the intensity of your emotions, and when this intensity subsides, you will no longer have any desire to tear and throw. You can’t even imagine how much energy and effort you will save. And how much less tired you will become. In addition, this is a very suitable procedure for developing phlegmatism, indifference and even indifference. Don't be afraid to try to develop inertia. Having such skills, people are less likely to experience emotional breakdowns. Highly organized individuals will benefit from this ability to switch their reactions. But it is quite natural that a person of this type will not want to lose such qualities as sensitivity and responsiveness. However, having developed a certain degree of phlegmatism, a harmonious personality acquires only a more balanced emotional position.
The following is a method consisting of six sequential steps, which I personally find extremely useful for those who want to get rid of the habit of tearing and throwing. I have recommended this method to so many people who have found it extremely helpful.
Mantra of Universal Peace
Events happen to everyone that do not fit into the framework of the usual way of life. Current problems and difficult to understand issues are unsettling. Stress undermines physical and emotional health.
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Maintaining not only external, but also internal calm helps to get out of a difficult situation with dignity, to correctly evaluate life lessons and draw conclusions. To prevent experiences from having destructive consequences, psychologists recommend using several effective techniques.
A little excitement is good
This conclusion was reached by scientists from the University of California who are interested in behavioral psychology. Reasons for these conclusions:
- 1. Light excitement sharpens your senses and helps you tune in to overcome obstacles. Example: after detailed preparation for an exam, an increase in adrenaline in the blood helps to mobilize mental strength, the result is successful passing.
- 2. Stressful situations serve as an inoculation against subsequent disappointments. A person draws conclusions and takes measures to learn to avoid a similar story in the future. So, toothache will make you pay more attention to visits to the dentist and monitor your health.
- 3. Timely concern is appropriate. These include cases of injury, when an urgent decision needs to be made, or the risk of losing a job, pushing for active professional development.
- 4. Sincere feelings about relationships. They become a motivating factor in shaping methods of raising children or communicating with loved ones.
Exciting feelings work as a motive to become reasonable and restrained. But when emotions take over, it is much more difficult to maintain composure.
How not to worry in important situations?
To stay calm and confident, it is important to find out what exactly is causing you to worry. This will help you take the right measures. Frequent stressors:
- important events - for example, a meeting in an official setting;
- a date with your loved one;
- deep regret about past mistakes;
- fear for the future - family, work, health.
There are many reasons to worry. It is unlikely that you will be able to remain calm always and in everything. But equanimity can be learned.
For example, before a date with a girl, a young man reminds himself: the best thing is to be yourself. Artfully pretending in order to become what others want to see is not the answer. After a certain time, character flaws will begin to appear and difficulties will arise in the relationship. What to do to avoid being nervous:
- prepare well;
- arrive at the meeting on time or a little early;
- plan the program;
- be prepared for the unexpected.
There are times when it is inappropriate to show complete composure. Dating is one of these situations.
10 tips for those who don't want to lose their composure
Psychologists use special techniques and habitual actions. By applying them every day, a person becomes balanced and inclined to make sober decisions.
There are many techniques to help cope with a negative reaction to stress. The ones below are simple and effective.
Fears are not what happened
Most future events that cause fear never happen. The imagination can draw terrible pictures of “what if...”. You can't look at everything through pink glasses- life is hard and full of struggle. But you shouldn’t exist in constant anticipation of negativity.
To do this, the “here and now” technique is used:
- 1. Straighten your back, straighten your shoulders. Inhale and exhale deeply several times, using the diaphragm - the muscular partition that separates the lungs from abdominal cavity. Lower costal-diaphragmatic breathing will give confidence and equanimity. Clearly feel the air filling your lungs.
- 2. Look around you. Pay attention to your surroundings and people passing by. Feel the smells floating in the space.
- 3. Thank fate for what you already have. Many have far fewer benefits.
Listen to the silence
The best time for this is early morning. Through open window Birds singing can be heard, the noise of the city does not distract attention.
Having taken a comfortable position, spend 5-6 minutes in quiet reflection. Pay attention to the feeling of peace that arises inside. At the same time, it is good to remember a pleasant incident from the past - for example, from childhood. What kind of feelings did this event evoke, what colors were especially bright.
Having remembered these sensations, they are evoked in difficult moments life, stopping for a few seconds. An equally effective technique for many was voluntary slowing down of movements and breathing.
Don't judge or complain
A person tends to seek support from others; this is a natural need. Before you call or text your best friend, here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- Will this be an objective or personal (subjective) assessment of the situation?
- Will such words benefit friendly communication?
- How does the person who is being spoken about negatively feel?
- Will the words spoken change things in a positive way?
Encourage and support others
This principle is similar to the previous one. Positive emotions multiply when they are shared with others.
Finding a person who is having a particularly difficult time and supporting him, providing all possible help - this energizes, gives strength and relieves worries.
Take the present moment as your starting point
Many current situations can and should be corrected. To do this, you will have to realize and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. The tendency to blame circumstances is inherent in weak individuals. A person who is faithful in small things has a strong character.
If the situation cannot be changed, they change their attitude towards it. Using emerging obstacles as beacons, a strong personality does not look for an answer to the question “why?”, but analyzes what such conditions can serve for.
Find something that helps you relax
For one person this is listening to music, for another it is reading a book or watching a good movie. If you don't have much time, a collection of short funny stories will help.
Caring for animals and plants gives a charge of positive emotions. Communicating with the natural world, going mushroom picking or fishing is something that many city residents miss.
Monitor your diet and daily routine
Attacks of aggression and uncontrollable anger accompany those who do not pay enough attention to their nutrition and rest. Full-fledged healthy sleep includes several phases and lasts on average 8 hours.
Perhaps we should give up stress, what do you think? Too many of them. Let's try to learn how to remain calm in all situations that objectively require it?
Tip #1: Praise yourself often
You need to praise yourself deservedly, otherwise it will only do harm. But you shouldn’t scold yourself at all, especially the way most insecure people do. Leave punishments until the worst times! Until then (and it may never come), praise yourself for every little thing if you consider it worthy of encouragement.
Tip #2: Try not to pay attention to other people's anger
Don't take on other people's negative emotions. Are yours not enough for you? If someone is annoyed with you, angry, then do not take it to heart, even if the anger at you is justified. There is no need to “chew” memories of an unpleasant conversation all day long - just leave these thoughts alone and move on with your life, trying to avoid conflict situations. It's not difficult at all!
Tip #3: Don’t prove you’re right if you don’t have to.
You should not prove to your interlocutor with foam at the mouth that you are right and he is wrong. Of course, if the conversation is not constructive and you yourself understand the futility of your argument. Let everyone have their own opinion. Along with your opinion, your nerves and good mood will remain with you.
Before you get annoyed with someone, try to understand that person. Yes, for this you need to take a short break and force yourself to think, but the result is worth it! This simple rule will allow you to avoid many conflict situations and unnecessary nervous tension.
Think it through possible options developments in a given situation and draw up a scenario for your actions. Of course, you won’t be able to consider all the alternatives, but with due diligence, this method can greatly help you stick to your desired strategy in life. Think about conversations with different people, your responses to comments, criticism, and praise from other people. Make your reactions beautiful, the most pleasant to you.
The more positive your initial attitude towards this or that person is, the less likely it is that a conflict will arise and, accordingly, anger or irritation on your part. In this world, everything is not so bad as to be a priori opposed to everyone!
Believe me, no one, not even your closest people, is obliged to understand you perfectly and, especially, telepathically. If you get annoyed by things like this (maybe you're just now noticing it, right?), then you just need to get better at articulating the thoughts you want to convey to the listener. There will be an order of magnitude more understanding, and an order of magnitude less unnecessary and unfounded irritation.
Give it a try, this tip might be more than helpful!
Tip #8: Find someone who will support you
No, we are not suggesting that you use someone as a “comforter.” Here we need something completely different! We need a person who, firstly, will support your desire to change, become calmer, react more soberly to what is happening, and who; secondly, it can help you rationalize a particular event that caused you stress. This won't cause much trouble for one of your friends, but it will help you.
... everything may turn out exactly as you planned, but life will still not be ideal. Excessive idealization leads to frustration, and this is absolutely obvious and logical. Make your goals realistic, and you will get much more satisfaction from achieving them than from fruitlessly striving for the unattainable.
No, this doesn't mean you need to stop dreaming. Dreams have nothing to do with what we are talking about now. It's about exactly about the goals that you set for yourself: for today or for the rest of your life, it doesn’t matter. They should not be adjusted to fit an impeccable image, thereby delaying the day of their accomplishment.
The main point of this advice is not to “teach you how to live” and simply tell you how useful it is to admit your own mistakes. Everything is much more prosaic! If you understand with the rational part of your consciousness that you have made a mistake, but emotionally cannot accept it, it puts pressure on you, prevents you from living freely, and causes irritation in you. You can project anger at yourself onto others... What kind of peace can we talk about?
That’s exactly why, follow this pathetic advice - admit your mistakes.
The main essence of this layout is the preliminary “playing” of various life situations. At the same time, you give them your own order, “program” yourself for it. By the way, this advice is useful not only for the ability to remain calm, but also for organizing your own day.
Tip #12: Revisit the past with new thoughts
Sometimes you can “replay” some episodes from your life again. We are talking about those moments that in the past turned out to be stressful for you, caused an unpleasant reaction for you, or you reacted in those situations differently than you would like.
Go back to the right moment and imagine how events would unfold if they happened now. Imagine how, for example, you calmly and wittily respond to someone's attack without losing self-esteem, or you find yourself the center of attention of an admiring company after a sharp and sarcastic answer-joke to a remark that offended you. This is not only pleasant, but also beneficial!
You should be surrounded by people who do not have problems controlling their emotions (at least problems similar to yours). No, no, in no case do you need to completely change your social circle. Although, you didn't intend to do this, right? What is required of you is somewhat different: among the people with whom you constantly communicate, there must be calm people who have “unshakable” self-confidence and are able to convey this confidence to you.
Try to evaluate all your emotions according to their relevance and adequacy. Have you ever noticed that you get irritated at being irritated? Do you think this is exactly what you need?
Tip #15: Don't react to attacks immediately when you're irritated.
Always give yourself a short pause from the moment you are exposed to a stimulus to your reaction to it. To put it simply, think first and speak later. This way you can avoid a good half of all the stress associated with communication.
Tip #16: Breathe deeply, correctly and in a timely manner
Just 10 seconds of deep breathing allows a person to completely calm down if their stress is caused by an excessive, unnecessary reaction. Again, you just need to pause until you react to something. If you feel yourself becoming very angry and losing your temper, stop and begin to calmly breathe deeply. You will calm down, and your brain will be saturated with oxygen, which will allow you to soberly assess the situation.
Tip #17: Find the truth in criticism directed at you
...or at least try to do so. It is far from a fact, of course, that you will find this truth there, but in our case it is better to play it safe and not immediately perceive any criticism as an attempt to insult you. It is quite possible that criticism addressed to you is constructive and will only benefit you.
Tip #18: Look for something positive in everything that happens
This advice is especially good for those who are just beginning to learn calmness (yes, calmness needs to be learned, and that’s what we are doing now!) and cannot yet force themselves to react with a delay and strictly control their own feelings. The beauty of this method is that it can be implemented after the event of interest to us, at any time. All you need is to rethink what happened in a new way and try to find in it positive sides. Now you have found the advantages you were looking for... But can something good irritate us?
...listen to audiobooks, watch movies. The main thing is that they calm you down, set you up for positive mood, taught us to see something pleasant in life and helped us cope with anger or irritation that came out of nowhere.
Tip #20: Remember that you can't and shouldn't please everyone.
It’s understandable that you can’t please everyone, so it’s worth emphasizing the second point: you don’t have to please everyone! Moreover, no one demands this from you. If you disappoint someone, you disappoint yourself. Why do you need this? Why should you feel downright unpleasant emotions just because you didn't live up to someone's idealized expectations?
You need to learn to be a bystander sometimes. First of all, it's interesting. Secondly, it will help you understand people better, give you time to think about your own reaction, and allow you to correctly assess the current situation.
This is one of the most difficult, but also the most effective ways to become calmer and get rid of unpleasant emotions. There are a huge variety of meditation techniques, and some of them are not as difficult to master as they might seem at first glance. In any case, you should look for the information you need and give it a try. It definitely won’t get any worse; in response to your efforts, you can gain the ability to control your emotions and mood the way you want.
Tip #23: Treat your troubles like training.
A universal recipe for calm. Yes, it is quite difficult to develop such an attitude towards life, but this does not mean at all that you should not try.
Against! This, along with meditation, is the most successful and effective method cope with stress and remain calm in any situation.
There is no single technique on how to learn to deal with troubles in this particular way, so we give you the opportunity to find your own way.
Moreover, the effect in this situation will definitely be the best.
The article was prepared by a practicing neuropathologist Daria Pavlovna Agantseva
