A person with life principles is one who adheres to the norms and rules adopted by himself. A conscious person accepts life values and principles that guide him, serve as an internal core, but do not limit him excessively.

Choice of life principles

Following life principles is a choice strong people who are accustomed to being guided by reason, and not by feelings and habits. For religious people, the role of the main life principles is played by the commandments. Some psychological trainers, for example, refuse to work with companies that produce alcohol and tobacco, and artists often refuse to perform even for very large remuneration in countries where repressive regimes have been adopted.

IN modern society life and values in reality very often turn out to be more of a fiction than a standard. In this case, a person follows life principles only when it is beneficial for him; in other cases, he changes or ignores them. So, for example, a girl may “out of principle” refuse to talk to a guy, but if her mood changes, she will very quickly forget about her decision.

To make your principles smarter, frame them as goals. For example, a girl shouldn’t rashly decide “I won’t talk on principle.” Think about whether you are ready to break off the relationship because of the conflict. If not, are you ready to continue to tolerate this kind of attitude? Make decisions based on your answers - wait for an apology, break up, or stop paying attention to the shortcomings of your gentleman.

Basic life principles of a wise person

Wise people are always guided by their experience to formulate life principles, and then apply them for the rest of their lives. One of these principles is thought control. Your actions and deeds are a continuation of your thoughts. If you create happy life in your head, you can translate these thoughts into reality.

The next life principle of wise people is respect. You need to respect both yourself and those around you. In this case, you will be treated with understanding and attention. Respect also helps build friendships, without which it is impossible to become happy man. To be a true friend means to support, understand, share joy and sadness.

One of the life principles smart people– share only good things with others. When you give something, you receive something in return. If you give joy and love, they will return to you a hundredfold.

Life principle for real loving people- give freedom. Do not limit the freedom of thoughts, actions, beliefs and choices of another person. And if he stays with you, this is true love.

Life principles great people

Many people are interested in the thoughts and life principles of great people who had their own secrets of success. For example, the famous Russian writer Leo Tolstoy formulated his life principles already in his youth. And they are still relevant for those who want to achieve well-being and inner harmony. Here are some of these principles:

There is no need to invent principles of life. Made-up principles don't work. The principles must be extracted from oneself. You already have them.

Esquire magazine has a popular column called “Rules of Life.” In it, people of varying degrees of celebrity tell how they live and what rules they follow. In a previous article, I argued that there are no truly effective and generally accepted rules of life (). However, it seems to me that there are what can be called principles of life. Many Esquire magazine celebrities actually talk about their individual principles of life not about the rules.

Let me explain the difference. I am under "rules" understand clear and unambiguous instructions. For example: never lend money to anyone, don’t have sex on the first date, don’t eat pork, donate 10% of your income to charity. These are the rules.

The principles of life are various laws that people have determined primarily empirically.

Principles of life but it is a much more general, broad and flexible thing. They represent various laws that people have determined empirically, mainly.

Laws and principles differ from rules in the main thing: generality. The rules work in specific conditions and situations. They don't explain anything, they just give specific directives. When conditions change, the rules stop working and they don’t even give any hints about what to do next. But laws and principles are broad. They allow us to develop effective behavioral strategies in different situations and conditions, even in those where there are simply no standard rules.

Note: I would like to immediately draw your attention to one important thing. The principles must be “working”. That is, their effectiveness must be confirmed by practice. And YOUR practice! It doesn't matter how convincing the principle looks. It should work in your life situation to your advantage. Otherwise he is worthless.

All the basic principles of life can be divided into two large categories:

Are common
Individual

General principles describe natural and systemic processes that theoretically work always and for everyone.

For example:

Creating and maintaining order in life requires effort, while chaos appears by itself and requires only inaction.
Decisions made in a state of high emotional arousal are often not the best.
The longer something lasts life situation, the more inertia it gains and the more strongly it affects your life.
Development is never linear and is always accompanied by crises.

Individual principles you discover for yourself. They are a product of your experience, or rather of its rethinking, processing and verification. And that is why they are most valuable and important.

Individual principles. Why are they needed and how to formulate them?

Following other people's principles leads to sad consequences.

However, other people's principles of life can be not only inspiring, but also dangerous. Following other people's principles leads to sad consequences. They are comparable to the results of an inept transplant of someone else's organ into your body.

The principles that you were able to find and formulate yourself most strongly and positively influence our lives. These principles are the result of your life experiences and a consequence of your “karma”. Even general principles we truly perceive only when they are passed through our life experience. Then they acquire special power and meaning.

Can you formulate the principles on which your life is built? If yes, then try writing them down. Very often, surprises happen. We think that we live by one principle, but in fact we exist by another. In addition, do not confuse your outlook on life with your life principles.

Outlook on life- these are your thoughts about life. The principles of life are what you are guided by (and often this happens unconsciously) when making decisions, committing actions, and life choices.

If you cannot immediately formulate your principles of life, then try answering a few questions. I assure you that this is an exciting activity.

Ten questions that will help you understand your inner principles of life.

In what situations and circumstances do you like yourself best and act most effectively?
Which actions of yours usually lead to success and which ones lead to failure?
Are there any preliminary signs for you of whether the business you started will end successfully or not? If yes, what are they?
In what emotional state do you most often achieve results, and in what state do you fail?
What repeating situations come to your mind when you think about the laws that govern your life?
When and under what circumstances do your best thoughts come to your mind?
What or who best motivates you to take actions and actions?
How quickly do you take the most best solutions In my life? And under what conditions?
On what basis do you choose your friends? What qualities should they have? What do they actually have?
What will you never do? What contradicts your life principles?

If you write down the answers to all these questions and think a little, then you will be able to see a lot in your life from an unexpected side.

As an example of how understanding the principles of your life affects its quality and the possibility of changes for the better, I will give the case of one of my clients.

Anastasia is a top manager of a large company. Here are some of her answers:

Question:“In what situations and circumstances do you like yourself best and act most effectively?”
Answer:“When I make a decision completely independently, based on my own understanding of the situation, and not external pressure.”

Question:“Which actions of yours usually lead to success and which ones lead to failure?”
Answer:“Actions that do not cause any conflicts or contradictions within me lead to success. At the moment of making a decision, I must be in a state that I would describe as “being in myself.”

Question:“What repeating situations come to your mind when you think about the laws that govern your life?”
Answer: « Best of luck I achieved success in cases where I followed my intuition and did not pay attention to generally accepted norms and rules. I can also note that in my life there are recurring situations of disappointment and loss, which are associated with the fact that I tried to bring my life into line with a certain generally accepted “standard”

Question:“When and under what circumstances do your best thoughts come to your mind?”
Answer:“When I'm not in the office. For example, while walking in beautiful park or along the shore of a reservoir. It’s also important to me that there aren’t a lot of people around at that moment.”

As a result simple exercise Anastasia formulated several principles of your life. Among them were the following:

I make the best decisions in my life on my own. This means I must organize my life in such a way as to minimize my presence in the system that imposes the “rules of the game” on me.
I accept effective solutions only when I am in agreement with myself. This means that if I feel internal conflict or am under pressure, I need to prohibit myself from taking any important decisions and first of all, get yourself in order.
My environment and surroundings have a huge impact on my life, success and productivity. This means that I must surround myself with space that helps me and does not hinder me.

Before completing this exercise, Anastasia clearly envisioned the further development of her life exclusively in the direction of management and, of course, in a large company. And after completing it, she thought a lot about it. After all, being inside a corporation actually contradicted its life principles. And it didn’t just contradict, it caused stress and forced me to make incorrect and unprofitable decisions.

I showed only a part of this exercise. It assumes large quantity questions and, most importantly, periodically returning to them over a period of 2-3 months. Each time, the answers to the questions become more bold, and the principles are formulated more clearly and precisely. Their final formulation is most often perceived by people as insight. Usually, my clients say that they see in the principles of their life, which emerged as a result of work, a powerful resource for bringing ideas and changes to life. This happens due to the fact that, based on individual principles, it is possible to concentrate on what comes from within and best suits you.

And finally...

There is no need to invent principles of life. Made-up principles don't work.

The principles must be extracted from oneself. You already have them.

Apr 10, 2017

The abyss is an abyss because it is inexhaustible.

The same goes for the interview with Radislav Gandapas, which I’m analyzing for the third time.

I promise that this time is the last, for God loves the trinity.

And to be honest, I'm running out of stock decent words and patience. For the thoughts and judgments expressed in the interview are already far beyond the scope of common sense, coming close to psychiatry.

Consider the thesis that to achieve success, the first skill you need to learn is the skill of being liked. What follows is an enchanting passage about how Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov missed the appropriate training, as a result of which he was unsuccessful in society and ended up showing off to the point of a duel.

Let's start with Mikhail Yuryevich...

Apr 3, 2017

“For us, success is an assessment of society,” says success “guru” Radislav Gandapas in one of his last interviews.

The reference to abstract society leads us to prostitution. If our success lies in being approved by some group of people, then we will inevitably adapt to it and not care about our own “subtle impulses” and deep needs.

Salvador Dali was kicked out of the Madrid Academy of Fine Arts, Jack London's first book was rejected by publishers 600 times, teachers called Einstein mentally retarded, Steven Spielberg was not accepted into the university three times in a row, Bill Gates was expelled from Harvard University, and Anna Netrebko was expelled from the Conservatory. This was society’s assessment of the professional suitability and talent of these famous people.

Success is completely subjective and context dependent. You can consider yourself super successful. This will be your subjective opinion of yourself. But for some reason, you move to a different social context. And suddenly you find yourself a complete loser in assessing your new social environment.

Success is a value concept associated with a person’s internal ethics. In one case you will be a successful pickpocket, in another - a banker, in the third - an engineer. Social success in one group may be a crime in another and vice versa.

Mar 22, 2017

Dec 2, 2016

New Year's madness is slowly creeping to the surface of life. The most advanced and progressive part of humanity sums up the results of the outgoing year, plans its next year and thinks about more distant development horizons. To meet these desires of advanced people, trainings on goal setting, increasing personal effectiveness, seminars on dream collages and other techniques for managing the future with the power of intention are helpfully provided.

Jul 30, 2016

Any talent implies not only outstanding skills, but also recognition. How sad it is. Any talent needs either support or crazy self-confidence that allows you to do without any support. Do you have one, the other, or both?

There comes a time in every person’s life when he thinks about the correctness of his chosen path. Various circumstances can contribute to this, but, as a rule, it is either a constant monotonous lifestyle or sudden negative changes - loss loved one, financial collapse, lack of recognition of performance results. Then we begin to wonder what is wrong with us. We look for role models among successful people and try to understand what actions helped them achieve success.

We begin to imagine that we could do everything the same and achieve success and recognition. But no. This is wrong. In achieving success, actions are not as important as who you are. Your character. First of all, you need to change yourself. Each of us definitely knows people who succeed in everything. They change areas of activity and achieve significant success everywhere, but their main assistant is their character.

Your character traits determine how you will act in difficult situations. Will you be able to put in a little more effort than others, be brave and take risks, or just be realistic about the situation and not be conflicted, reaping dividends from such a decision in the future.

Life Strategies

If a small salary is enough for him, the subway as the main means of transportation and a quiet life without any serious problems, then no one will call such a person successful. It's his choice. He deliberately refuses serious achievements so as not to make great efforts.

If a person was raised in the spirit of altruism, then most likely he will not be successful either. The only thing he will get in life is short-term recognition for his noble actions. He will give a lot of time and effort, and ask for almost nothing in return. Altruism is a wonderful character trait, but it has only a mediocre relationship to success.

If a person knows exactly his goal, is ready to make every effort to achieve it and has a strong character, he will achieve success. Such a person is called a leader. Other people are ready to follow him. He is ready to take full responsibility not only for his life, but also for the lives of those who followed him. We would all like to be like that.

How to change strategy - comfort zone

So what prevents us from being successful? The answer is simple - character and, in particular, our behavior patterns - habits. Habits are formed throughout life, all negative experiences accumulate in us. If a person has tried something new several times and made a mistake, then in the future he may refuse any innovations. The habit has been formed. How to deal with bad habits? Constantly step out of your comfort zone. Most likely, your current life is already established, you are used to repeating the same actions day after day and do not want to change anything, for fear of mistakes or discomfort. When in last time have you tried something you haven't tried before?

Basic principles of life

Get started now. Don't wait for ideal conditions and remember: life doesn't give you any guarantees, you won't get a guarantee of success in any business. There are just so many possibilities, whether you use them is up to you.

Keep moving forward. Try, experiment, don't be afraid to make mistakes or take risks. Destroy your comfort zone and an unprecedented horizon of new achievements and opportunities will open before you.

Formulate a clear goal and strive for it. Every action you take should be aimed at achieving your goal. If you want to be a manager in a large company, but instead go to work as a salesperson every day, stop! This way you won't achieve your goal. Make a clear plan and move every day. Search, try, make mistakes, but move! Remember that you lost not when you made a mistake, but when you stopped trying. Make a promise to yourself and someone else. Promise to achieve a goal within a certain time frame and keep your word.

How to make them work

These principles work. Moreover, they are known to everyone and many authors describe them in their books, but they still exist successful people and losers. And if both are familiar with the principles, then what is the difference between them? The former apply the principles in life, while the latter do not. Who do you belong to?

The principles of human life described in this article are not the revelation of any of the prophets, are not compiled by a famous author, and do not resonate with God’s commandments (and if they do, it is not for religious reasons). These principles are realized by me, based on my personal experience and subjective perception.

Be merciful and kind

I am not a member of a cult and I am not encouraging you to join the Peace Corps. Doing good can be much more difficult in small things, on an everyday scale, than saving the world. This is what the first principle says - in every situation that fills a person’s every day, there are different lines of behavior and, accordingly, options for action. By choosing one that has a good message, you not only do yourself good (because good always comes back), but you also inspire others to do the same. Not only epidemics and affectionate words spread from person to person, mercy and consideration for others can also infect people.

Be brave

The longer humanity exists, the more precisely the beaten paths are worked out, and the easier it becomes to follow them. Being brave doesn't necessarily mean going against the grain and going against society - you probably don't want to at all. Being brave means doing what you want, doing what you feel, and saying what you think.

Have the courage to dream. Have the courage to create. And most importantly, have the courage to act.

Always remember that you are not alone

Very often it seems to us that we are alone against the whole world. That no one can help us, and we must do everything ourselves. Taking responsibility for your life and actions is very good, but you shouldn’t lock yourself in the bubble of your own “I can” and “I do,” because there are things that are beyond a person’s control or things that you definitely can’t do alone.

Remember two things: firstly, you are not alone - look around: there are many people around who are ready and able to help you and provide support. Believe in people. Secondly, no matter how you feel about religion, it is stupid to deny that besides man there are no higher powers. There is something much larger in this world than each of us individually. For some it is God, for others it is the Universe, for others it is the unity of all living beings. Don't forget that you are not alone in the vast world. You won’t get lost, they look after you, they help you, they take care of you. Always.

Be here and now

One of the main life principles that is most difficult to follow is to stay in the present, to live in it. Living in the past or future is a huge temptation, an excellent means of escaping reality. But the reality is that if you don't manage your present, either your past will define you or your future will be built by someone else. And in order to manage the present, you need to be in it. Develop awareness, learn to fixate on the “here and now.”

Analyze

Living your life without trying to understand the causes and consequences of your own actions, the events of your life means wasting it. Don't float with the flow like a log, get into the boat and control its movement. To do this, you will need to become an analyzer of what is happening both inside and around you. Don't be that person who, when you die, understands less than when you were first born. Analyze yourself - if you understand yourself, you will have access to understanding the whole world.

Explore

In our wonderful world There are enough reasons for surprise for every person’s life. Humanity has existed for several thousand years, and the world continues to surprise us. Don’t lose your child’s curiosity, look at everything as if you were seeing it for the first time. Don't be afraid to explore new things, make discoveries of any scale, and your life will never be boring. Already now it is filled with thousands of amazing things that are worth learning about, that are worth noticing and studying. Live with your eyes, mind and heart wide open.

Love

Without love the most bright life- only a shadow of what it could be, if a person let into it the highest feeling - love. Giving and receiving love in order to be happy is as important as breathing and eating in order to live. Trusting your feelings is risky and scary, but remember the second principle? Be brave when it comes to love because it is the only thing that can make you truly happy. Love - highest award, and it requires a lot of work. Love needs to be cherished, nurtured, supported and developed - then its fruits will make you the happiest of people.

How important are principles in life?

Is it good to be a principled person?– it would seem such a simple question? - Of course yes! - the majority will answer without thinking too much. What if you think a little about this topic?

The master asked one student: “If you find a wallet with money on the road, what will you do? “I will look for the owner and return it.” “You are kind, but stupid,” answered the master. I asked the second one the same question. He replied: “I’ll take it for myself.” - “You are sincere, but not a thief.” I asked the third one. He said: “How can I know what I will be like when I find the wallet? Maybe I’ll really need the money and take it for myself. Or I will feel sorry for the one who lost it and will look for him to return the money. But you never know what could happen...” “You are wise,” said the master and bowed.

What are principles?

A principle is a belief, a point of view on something. Accordingly, a principled person is a person who defends his beliefs and point of view.

The principles in our lives serve as defenses, fortress walls and a moat between what life offers and me. This is the last frontier, the fall of which will mean my fall from grace, or lack of will. That's why people rush so loudly to inform this world that they have principles. IN Ancient Rome the principle was called a heavily armed warrior, which was usually located in the first, rarely in the second ranks of the Roman legions (hence the name). He had armor, a shield, and was armed with a spear or sword. The principles are the defensive belt of the Roman legion, which was difficult and dangerous to break through. Apparently this is where the saying “follow the principle” comes from - an obviously stupid and even dangerous idea.

And an interesting detail, but In order not to do what you don’t want, you don’t have to acquire principles. It happens naturally- “I just don’t want it!” The task of the principles is precisely that they can resist our own desires, curb your feelings, creating the aura of a hero, and protecting you from mistakes. Integrity is usually praised, and its absence is considered spinelessness. Principles are the reinforcement from which individual people are created, and they themselves look like reinforced concrete sculptures.

When is it inconvenient to have principles?

That would be fine, but life, fortunately, is much richer, and there will be countless situations, and those will certainly happen in which the developed principles will turn out to be ineffective. Have you noticed that a rigid structure is characteristic only of inanimate nature (stones, diamonds, metal)? All living nature has a flexible structure (organisms, plants, water, air). Because living nature is subject to the laws of development and evolution, inanimate nature is the result of this development and evolution. It’s the same with people, often our principles are information that is imposed on us by our parents, teachers, and environment. Integrity is a firmness that does not allow one to be flexible in decision-making.

Why are principles needed?

Integrity does not exist by itself, she always caters to some character traits. It always goes in conjunction with some clearly expressed personal qualities: fundamental honesty, fundamental perseverance, fundamental cruelty. Yes, a person can be insidious and evil, but at the same time be principled. In itself, integrity is not a virtue; the moral coloring of integrity depends on the interests that it serves. Integrity does not make a person moral or highly moral. You can also meet a principled terrorist.

Integrity should not turn into dogma and be an obstacle to personal growth and development.

With a conscious and thoughtful approach, your beliefs can change, and with them, your principles. I liked one expression: “Belief is the last thing I will defend in my life, because I may be wrong.”

What to do with your principles?

Have you recently reviewed your principles? Can you name where and when they came from, what exactly and what beliefs they defend? Here is a banal principle that I have seen among girls: You can kiss only after the third date! I suspect that this principle comes from the belief that only girls of easy virtue can afford to allow close contact with an unfamiliar man. Or here’s another principle: you shouldn’t call the first guy after meeting her and show your interest. In theory, these principles should have preserved the girl’s chastity. But is this really so? Is there a guarantee?

Try revising your own principles: On a piece of paper, write all your principles in one column, on the contrary, in another column, write the beliefs that serve these principles, and in the last column, write where you got this principle from. I assure you, you will be very surprised by the results you get.

Sometimes, principles are the frozen experience of past defeats, a crutch that allows, under a plausible pretext, to refuse responsibility for your life, for making informed and, most importantly, your own decisions. It is much easier to build a system of principles, which you can then turn to for ready-made answers. And it’s even easier to adopt other people’s principles, which seemed reliable and worthy from the outside. It is much easier to be “like him/her” than to be “me on my own.” Behind principles they hide their responsibility, their conscious choice and their courage to voice them. Because you can always hide behind the words: “I have this principle.” I was brought up like that".

Redundant integrity is always an extreme, and any extreme, from the point of view of psychology, ultimately leads to neuroticism of the individual. How many relationships were destroyed because of someone’s principles, how many wars and conflicts were born on this basis, how many generations of unhappy children grew up in principled families. I'm not asking you to abandon all your principles, I'm just suggesting that you reflect on the ideas and beliefs that serve your principles. Isn't it time to reconsider them?