There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to make a difficult decision. How to make the right decision when in doubt? What direction of study to choose? The partner with whom I am now will not disappoint me in the future, do I have love with him for life? Should I accept the offer or can I find a more interesting job? These are just some of the dilemmas most of us face.
The choice of what to buy - apples or pears, seems insignificant compared to decisions whose consequences can affect a lifetime. How can you be sure that you are making the right decisions? How to avoid internal dissonance, the impression that the option you gave up might be better than the one you chose? How to make difficult decisions?
Decision-making methods
Two decision-making strategies are mainly used - heuristics and algorithms. Thinking algorithmically, a person carefully studies and analyzes, compares the pros and cons of a particular option. Heuristics saves us time because it appeals to emotions, intuitions, preferences, internal beliefs, without "calculation".
It seems that in the case of a difficult choice, it is wiser to think things over carefully several times before making a final decision. Meanwhile, people are very often guided by their hearts rather than their minds - even in the case of making decisions that affect their entire life (for example, when choosing a life partner). How to understand what is best for us in this situation?
Depending on the rank of the problem, a person usually uses from 1 to 3 decision-making strategies. What methods are used in making life choices?
1. Obtaining information from others
When you do not know what to decide on, you often use the support of loved ones, friends, family. You consult, looking for additional information. If you need to make a difficult decision, you should consult with others, ask what they would do in a similar situation. Brainstorming, exchanging views with others helps to look at the problem from a new point of view.
2. Postponing a decision in time
If no one and nothing helps, take your time with the choice, give yourself time. You may temporarily not feel strong enough to make decisions that could affect your entire life. Postponing a decision until later can be a good idea, because during this time new facts may be discovered that will help make a choice. But it is important not to put it off indefinitely, in the end you need to decide.
3. Eliminate the worst options
When you have several different options and you don't know which one to prefer, make a choice, eliminating what seems to be the worst and least interesting. At the end of such a screening, there will be a better alternative.
4. Choosing the lesser evil
The choice is not always between good-better or good-worse: you have to choose between two not the most attractive options. How do you choose between two equally unpleasant alternatives?
You need to choose something that carries fewer potentially negative consequences, and come to terms with the decision. There are things that we simply cannot influence. Therefore, sometimes it is easier to accept the need to make a decision with bad consequences than to make such a choice.
5. Before you choose, analyze
This is a strategy related to algorithmic thinking. List the pros and cons of each of the alternatives and choose the one that has more positive consequences. In other words, a balance is drawn up of the gains and losses associated with choosing one option and rejecting the other. However, such a cold calculation is not always possible, because sometimes emotions take precedence over reason.
6. Act on the spur of the moment
Sometimes there is neither time nor opportunity to consider the proposals received for a long time. Then you need to make a decision spontaneously, immediately, on a hot hand. In this case, it is better to trust your instinct, inner voice. Not always, guided by emotions, we act recklessly. In retrospect, this turns out to be the right decision, so trust yourself and your intuition.
7. Descartes square
One of the most effective and simple ways to make a difficult decision. You are invited to analyze any situation or problem from different points of view. To make the right decision, answer four questions by looking at the figure below.
Be careful when answering the fourth question, because your brain will try to ignore the double negative and try to answer like the first one. Don't let this happen!
Why is this method so effective? When you are in a situation that requires you to make a difficult decision, you often get stuck at the first point - what happens if that happens? However, Descartes' square allows us to look at the problem in many ways and make a carefully considered and informed choice.
8. PMI Method
How to effectively make difficult decisions? You can use the Edward de Bono method - the PMI method. This abbreviation is a derivative of English words (plus, minus, interesting). The method is very simple. It is based on the fact that before a decision is made, it is comprehensively evaluated. A table is drawn on a sheet of paper with three columns (pluses, minuses, interesting), and arguments for and against are indicated in each of the columns. In the “interesting” column, everything is written that is not good and not bad, but at the same time connected with the decision.
Below is an example. Decision: whether to rent an apartment on the outskirts with a friend?
When this table is drawn up, a scoring is made for each of the arguments in accordance with the direction (arguments for are indicated by a plus, against - by a minus). For example, for some, more space is more important than pleasant company. At the end, the value of all arguments is summed up and it is determined whether the balance will be positive or negative.
The PMI method cannot be called innovative, it is not fundamentally different from how we make decisions in everyday life. He seems to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of a given choice. Nothing is further from the truth. Most of us, when making a decision, actually take it for ourselves from the very beginning and then select the arguments that would justify our choice. Even if it turns out that the decision we made has 3 more minuses, we will still choose it. People are actually not very rational, guided more by personal preferences, taste, etc. Pros and cons on a sheet of paper will allow for an accurate analysis, at least with a partial disconnection of emotions.
People are very often afraid of the consequences of their choices and do not like to make decisions. They would willingly shift the responsibility for their lives onto other people. Unfortunately, if we want to be happy, we must learn to solve our own problems and bear the burden of life's choices. There is no guarantee that others would do it better for us. We will never know if the options we ignored are better than the ones we chose, so don't weep over spilled milk and constantly regret the positives of rejected alternatives. Constantly lasting dissonance kills us morally.
When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.
Our life would be completely different if Ctrl + Z were active in life, which would cancel the decisions made.
But we are not slaves of our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to become dull or completely disappear. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It won't hurt to take note! Although for many solutions one sleep is not enough. We need a specific strategy.
One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It is called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:
- How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
- What will you think about this decision after 10 months?
- What will be your reaction to this in 10 years?
By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of our making an important decision.
Now let's look at the effect of this rule on an example.
Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Cyril. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronika claims that Kirill is a wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly who she has been looking for throughout her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and. She does not have an endless amount of time to develop a relationship with Kirill, who is under 40. During these 9 months, she never met Cyril's daughter from her first marriage, and in their pair the cherished "I love you" never sounded from either side.
The divorce from his wife was terrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid a serious relationship. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is in pain, but she is also offended that such an important part of her beloved's life is closed to her.
Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into decisions. But should she then herself take the step and say “I love you” first?
The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she has to decide whether she confesses her love to Cyril on the weekend or not.
Question 1: How will you react to this decision after 10 minutes?
Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself that I took a chance and said it first.”
Question 2: What would you think of your decision if 10 months had passed?
Answer:“I don't think I'll regret it 10 months later. No, I will not. I sincerely want everything to work out. Who does not take risks, then does not drink champagne!
Question 3: How do you feel about your decision 10 years later?
Answer:“Regardless of how Cyril reacts, in 10 years the decision to declare love first is unlikely to matter. By that time, either we'll be happy together, or I'll be in a relationship with someone else."
Notice the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have quite a simple solution:
Veronica has to take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Cyril in the end. But without a conscious analysis of the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult for her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distractions and deterrents.
What happened to Veronica after, you might ask. She did say "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril did not confess his love to her. But progress was on the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and confess the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together are up to 80%.
Eventually
The 10/10/10 rule helps you win on the emotional side of the game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem rich and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, the emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.
The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your angle of view: to consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point of view that you are looking at in the present.
This method allows you to put your short-term emotions into perspective. It's not that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you must not let your emotions get the better of you.
It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you intentionally avoid a serious conversation with your boss, you are letting your emotions get the best of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, and after 10 months - will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Breathe easy? Or will you feel proud?
But what if you want to reward the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision in 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (suddenly other employees will feel left out), and will it Will the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?
As you can see short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long run is not the only correct one. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.
Today I will tell you what methods will allow you make the right decision and learn to make decisions in general. This article will be based not only on my experience, but also on the decision-making methodology outlined in the famous book by Chip Heath and Dean Heath - “. This technique helps to make effective choices in business, career and education. Here I will outline the main points of this technique, and also talk about what helps me personally in finding the right solutions.
Method 1 - Avoid "narrow borders"
Often we fall into the trap of "narrow frames", when our thinking reduces the whole variety of possible solutions to a problem in only two options: yes or no, to be or not to be. “Should I divorce my husband or not?” “Should I buy this particular expensive car or take the subway?” Should I go to the party or stay at home?
When we choose only between "Yes or No", in fact, we are stuck in only one alternative (eg, breaking up with her husband, making a purchase) and ignoring the others. But maybe there are other options in your relationship besides breaking up with your partner and returning to the status quo. For example, try, discuss problems, go to a family psychologist, etc.
If you choose not to buy an expensive car on credit, it doesn't mean that exhausting subway rides are your only remaining alternative. You can probably buy a cheaper car. But, perhaps, the most correct choice will lie in a different plane of decisions. Maybe it will be more convenient and profitable to rent an apartment closer to work. Or change jobs to less distant from home.
An alternative to choosing between different breeds of cats or dogs may be for you to go to a cattery and choose a homeless pet that you like best.
This seems like an obvious tactic for thinking about choices, yet many people continue to fall into the same traps. There is always a temptation to reduce the problem to a yes or no dichotomy. We instinctively strive for this, because it is much easier to consider the problem only in black and white, and not in all its diversity. But it turns out that with this approach we only create difficulties for ourselves.
Also, we often try to consider a choice between two extremes, although it is possible to find a compromise between them in the middle. Or we don’t notice that both of these extremes can be implemented simultaneously and in fact it is not at all necessary to choose one of them.
Method 2 - Expand the selection
This method is a development of the previous method. Many of us know situations when we want to make an important purchase, for example, to buy an apartment. We arrive at the first apartment, and we are fascinated by their appearance, and the realtor offers "favorable" terms of the transaction and thereby provokes us to make a quick decision. And we are already thinking not about “which apartment to choose”, but about “whether to buy this particular apartment or not to buy”.
Do not hurry. It is better to look at five apartments, instead of buying the first one that comes across. Firstly, it will allow you to better navigate the real estate market. Perhaps there are better suggestions. Secondly, the time you spend looking at the rest of the offers will “cool down” your instant emotions. And momentary emotions always interfere with the right choice. While you are under their influence, you may overlook some obvious flaws in the apartment you like, but as time passes, you will be able to see the whole picture more clearly.
We become too attached to the goal to which our thinking is initially tuned. And this forms a strong inertia in decision-making: we are ready to see only what confirms our decision, and we ignore what contradicts it. For example, you wanted to enter a certain university from school. A few years later, you failed your entrance exams. And now you are thinking about preparing hard and trying your luck again in a year. You dismiss all the arguments of your friends in favor of choosing another university, as you are used to thinking that your choice is the best.
But what if in the few years it took you to finish school, the situation has changed and the university you want to go to is no longer the same as before? Suddenly new promising educational institutions appeared? Do not get attached to your choice and conduct a comparative analysis. Expand your selection! Familiarize yourself with the curriculum and teaching staff at other institutions. What other universities offer a similar program?
To become less attached to one alternative, the auxiliary method of "disappearing options" will help you.
Variant Disappearance Method
Imagine that the alternative you have chosen cannot be chosen for some reason. For example, the university you want to enter, let's say, was closed. Now think about what you would do if this really happened. And start doing it. You would probably look at other possibilities, and probably in the process you'll discover how many great options you've missed out on because you've become fixated on one alternative.
Method 3 - Get as much information as possible
The authors, Chip, and Dean Heath are surprised that it is common practice for many people to read reviews before buying electronics, booking hotels, or choosing hairdressers. But at the same time, when it comes to choosing a job or university, fewer people use this wonderful practice, which helps to get a lot of valuable information.
Before making a decision about employment in a particular company, you can study the reviews of people who worked in it. This is better than relying only on the information provided to you by HR and the future boss.
The Heath brothers suggest asking one question at the interview for this.
“Who worked in the position before me? What is his name and how can I contact him?
There is nothing wrong with trying to get firsthand information. When I learned about this practice, I was surprised that, despite the obvious advantages of this approach, it never occurred to me to use it during my job search!
You may not always be given the contacts of these people. In this case, it will help you get information practice of leading questions.
This practice is good because it allows you to get information from someone who is reluctant to share it.
At the interview:
Instead of asking what prospects and conditions you offer (you may be promised brilliant prospects and good working conditions), ask more direct questions:
“How many people have left this position in the last three years? Why did this happen? Where are they now?"
Asking this question will help you get more reliable information about your future work.
In the shop:
One study found that when sales consultants, motivated to sell as many products as possible, were asked the question, "Tell me something about this iPod," only 8% of them reported problems with it. But when they had to answer the question: “What is his problem?” 90% of all managers honestly reported the shortcomings of this model.
Method 4 - Get rid of momentary emotions
As I wrote above, instant emotions can greatly interfere with decision making. They make you lose sight of something important and focus on small things that later turn out to be insignificant.
Many of us face the dire results of impulsive and unconscious choices, realizing that at the time of making the decision, we were blinded by our emotions and didn't see the full picture.
This may concern an early marriage or an impulsive divorce, expensive purchases or employment. How to avoid the influence of these emotions? There are several ways.
The first way to get rid of emotions - 10/10/10
This method allows you to go beyond the narrow perspective that instantaneous impulses set. It consists in asking yourself three questions before making a decision:
- How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
- And after 10 months?
- What will happen in 10 years?
For example, you fell in love with another man and want to leave your children and leave your husband. If you make this decision, what will you think of it in 10 minutes? Probably, the euphoria of falling in love and a new life will rage in you! Of course, you will not regret your decision.
But after 10 months, passion and love will subside (it always happens), and perhaps when the veil of euphoria that has covered your eyes disappears, you will see the shortcomings of the new partner. At the same time, a bitter feeling of loss of something dear will begin to manifest. You may find that what you used to take for granted was actually a benefit of your previous relationship. And this is no longer in your new relationship.
It is very difficult to predict what will happen in 10 years. But perhaps, after the ardor of falling in love passes, you will realize that you have come to the same thing that you were running from.
Of course, I'm not saying that this will be the case for everyone. For many relationships, divorce is the best solution. But, nevertheless, I am sure that a lot of divorces happen impulsively and thoughtlessly. And it is better to weigh everything carefully and distance yourself from the delusion of euphoria in anticipation of change.
The second way to get rid of emotions - Breathe
Before making any important choice, give yourself a little time out. Take 10 calm full and slow inhalations and exhalations of equal duration. For example, 6 slow counts of inhalation - 6 slow counts of exhalation. And so 10 cycles.
This will calm you well and cool the ardor. Well, do you still want to order this expensive trinket you don’t need, just because you saw the same one from a colleague?
This method can be combined with the previous one. Breathe first and then apply 10/10/10.
The third way to get rid of emotions - "Ideal me"
I came up with this method when I could not make one decision. And he helped me a lot (I wrote about him in more detail in the article ""). Think about what your “ideal self” would do or what would be the ideal scenario for the development of events under the existing restrictions. For example, you are thinking whether to go out drinking today or stay at home with your wife and children. Many factors in the decision will compete with each other: a sense of duty and a momentary desire to drink, caring for children and health with the need to have fun.
What to do? Think about what would be ideal. Just stay realistic. I understand that ideally, you would like to split in two, so that one part of you stays at home and the other part is at the party, while alcohol would not bring her any harm and hangover the next day. But that doesn't happen. Given the restrictions, the ideal option would be to stay at home, because last week you promised yourself to drink less. You realize that your wife rarely sees you and if you don't go to the party you will feel better the next day.
No need to think about what you want more. Because, Just because you want something doesn't mean you need it. Desires are fickle and fleeting. Now you want one. But tomorrow you may regret indulging your momentary desire. Consider which option would be correct. What would an ideal husband do?
The fourth way to get rid of emotions - What would you advise a friend?
Imagine that you want to change your job to a more comfortable and highly paid one, but you are afraid of change, you are afraid of being disappointed, you don’t want to let your colleagues down, you are worried about what your boss will think of you in connection with your departure. Because of this, you can't make up your mind about it.
But what if this choice is not in front of you, but in front of your friend. What would you advise him? Surely, if he shared with you fears at the expense of disappointments and the opinion of the boss, you would answer him: “Come on, you think about all sorts of nonsense! Do what's best for you."
Surely many of you have noticed that you can give good and reasonable advice to your friends in solving some situations, but at the same time, you yourself behave unreasonably in similar situations. Why? Because when we think about another person's decision, we only look at the essentials. But when it comes to ourselves, a bunch of little things immediately pop up, to which we attach exaggerated importance. Therefore, to get rid of the influence of these unimportant things on your decision, think about what advice you would give to your friend if he was in a similar situation.
The fifth way to get rid of emotions - just wait
Remember, a quick decision is very often a bad decision, because it can be made under the influence of emotions. You don't have to listen to impulsive desires every time. In some cases, it makes sense to just wait and not make a spontaneous choice. Impulsive desires, on the one hand, are quite intense and can be difficult to cope with. On the other hand, they are fleeting and you just have to wait a while, and this desire will disappear. You will realize that what seemed to be an essential need a couple of hours ago, in fact, you do not need.
Personally, I like to let some decision “ripen” in my head, give it time, provided that I have nowhere to rush. It doesn't mean that I think about him all the time. I can do some business, and suddenly the decision will appear by itself. It even happens that I make a decision instantly, but I am in no hurry to implement it if it concerns important and long-term things.
In a few days, details may “surface” in my head that can change my choice. Or vice versa, I will understand that the first thought was the right thought, only now, I will be sure of it.
The sixth way to get rid of emotions - stay focused
This method is suitable in situations where you need to make quick decisions while under psychological pressure, for example, at an interview.
As a poker lover, I know how important it is to stay focused so as not to give in to instant emotions. Poker is basically a game of decision making. I have noticed that when my mind wanders somewhere far away from the game between hands, I make unreasonable and emotional actions when it's my turn to bet. But if I am focused on the game, even when I am not in the hand, for example, just watching the opponents, this allows my mind to be alert, constantly monitor everything around me and myself, think only about the game and not let unnecessary thoughts and emotions into brain.
So, for example, during an interview, keep your attention on this process. Listen to everything they tell you. Do not let extraneous thoughts enter your head, such as: “what did they think of me?”, “Did I say too much?” Think about it later. But for now, be here and now. This will help you make the right choice.
Method 10 - When Not to Use All of These Methods
Looking at all these methods, it seems that decision making is a very complex process. In fact, these methods are designed to help you make choices, in which each alternative is determined by a set of advantages and disadvantages. But what if there are no flaws? What if you have nothing to lose if you choose one option?
Then forget about all these tips, act and see what happens.
For example, you saw a pretty girl on the street, you are alone and are just looking for a mate. Stop going over the pros and cons in your head. You have nothing to lose if you come up and get to know each other. This is an absolutely simple solution.
Such situations are an exception. The more you think about them and weigh the decisions, the more uncertainty and the chances of missing an opportunity grow. Therefore, where the choice does not cost you anything, think less and act!
Conclusion - A little about intuition
The methods I've been talking about are attempts to formalize decision making. Give clarity and clarity to this process. But I do not want to belittle the role of intuition.
These methods should not confuse you, instilling in you an illusory confidence that any decisions are amenable to reason and dry analysis. This is not true. Often the choice is characterized by a lack of complete information and you will have to accept the fact that in many situations you cannot know with 100% certainty in advance which decision will be better. Sometimes you just need to choose something, and then it will be clear whether you made the right choice or not.
Therefore, you need to use intuition, instead of waiting until your methods give you an unambiguous prediction of the correctness of one or another alternative. But at the same time, one should not overestimate her role and rely too much on her “gut”. For this, there is a formalized approach, which is designed to balance your mind and feelings, logic and intuition. The right balance between these things is the art of decision making!
Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - to do this or that, to agree or refuse.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponing the decision.
So how make the right decision and learn how to make the right choice?
Here are 10 ways.
1 - Just make the decision that you like.
According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 leaders of large companies turn out to be erroneous. 40% of the companies that were included in the list of the world's 500 best companies 20 years ago no longer exist.
Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.
So relax, make a decision and start acting.
You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.
You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.
Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, and any number of attempts. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better understand how to make the right choice.
2 - Determine the price of your solution.
What happens if you do this or that and the choice is wrong? Write down possible outcomes and make a decision based on that. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.
For strategic objectives, it is a good idea to write down the possible consequences of your decision. With Canva, you can create an online decision tree that will help you visualize possible alternatives and make it easier to make the right decision. - https://www.canva.com/ru_ru/grafik/derevo-resheniy/
3 - Determine the best result - What decision will move you the most forward? In life, those who strive for more win. And those who are afraid to take risks are content with ordinary life. Think it might be worth the risk sometimes. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always go back to another solution. So hold on. Success loves the brave.
4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.
Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution to choose?
And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what needs to be done.
All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we get access to it only in a dream. Plus, the subconscious can connect to a single information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev opened his table in a dream.
So ask your subconscious mind and go to sleep. Learn more about this technique in this video.
5 - Do something- to make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theory. The information you need will be given only by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.
When in doubt or choosing from multiple options, just do something about each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.
6 - Ask a more successful person - Such a person can help you in just 5 minutes. He knows and knows more than you. Look for successful people in your environment. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is you don't have to ask everyone. Listen only to those who really solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience of overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then
7 - Imagine being a super hero- Put yourself in the place of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what decision he would choose.
Often, internal fears and doubts interfere with making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.
8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more solutions. Collect information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most balanced decision.
9 - Let your brain sort things out - modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in the mode of lack of time.
But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking a lot, then a lot becomes clear and the decision is chosen by itself.
There is a good expression morning is wiser than evening. So just switch off from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.
10 - Write down the pros and cons and compare
Choose 2-3 options and write each one on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more profitable for you.
That's all.
But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.
And to make it easier for you to act, here are 50 step-by-step instructions
Throughout their lives, every person often has to make an important decision. He also faces the need to choose throughout the day: what to wear, what soap to use, what products to buy home, what series to watch, and so on. And sometimes even such minor everyday issues can put a person in front of a choice, the result of which may depend on mood or even fate.
Big and small problems
If you understand it this way, then our whole life is a chain consisting of links of choices. Well, if these are minor problems: how to cook rice porridge, what color tie goes best with a shirt ... Such trifles usually do not leave a trace in the memory. Another thing is when a person's future life is decided from a choice. For example, what profession to choose, whether it is worth connecting fate with a person you like or investing in a business. In these cases, the issue price is determined by other measures. If, having cooked porridge incorrectly, a person runs the risk of being left without lunch, then here the retribution for a wrong decision can be the loss of money or even several years of life.
For this reason, making the right decision of this kind is often accompanied by stress. And the longer a person thinks, the more this condition worsens, which ultimately affects his well-being and his ability to resolve the situation.
Why is it important to make a quick decision?
Every person wants something more in this life: build a house, earn money, buy expensive furniture, have a beautiful appearance, raise smart children. At first glance, everything is simple - take it and do it. But there is a small nuance: the possibilities have become so extensive that a person is lost in front of a choice. Some turn off the right path, while others continue to go to the designated goal. Therefore, before making the right decision, it is necessary to analyze and weigh everything well. Today our world is arranged in such a way that not "big eats small", but "agile eats slow". Speed is everything. A small, but actively developing firm can suddenly absorb a clumsy giant.
In order to open your own production and start doing what you love, a person needs not only funds and desire, but also a decision to change his life once and for all. And this is not easy, because there are always doubts. How to take this step, how to decide to burn all the bridges behind and plunge into the world of new opportunities? In fact, there are many ways that help overcome doubts and make the right decision.
Time to choose
If you have time to think about each question, then you should consider each answer option, since you don’t know in advance which solution is correct. The more versions, the more chances to find the best option. You can even write down different situations and their possible solutions on paper. Naturally, this will take time, but there will be an opportunity to analyze and think everything over.
In fact, choice is a unique property of a person that nature has given him. With it, he can control the reality in which he lives, so as not to become a hostage to unforeseen situations. If a person does not have time to make a choice himself, others will do it for him - parents, social environment, boss, friends. Choice is everything! Therefore, if a person is afraid to make a choice himself, he cannot control his destiny, which means that he will not achieve his goal. If he does not believe in himself, in his success, he will not have the courage to choose. What helps to make the right decision and how to take an important step?
Fear of failure
When making a decision, a person is afraid of the disapproval of others, failures, losing what he has, responsibility, poverty. Sometimes these fears are justified, but they make it possible to understand one truth: no matter what decision is made - right or wrong - loss cannot be avoided, this is the moment that becomes the cause of torment. Therefore, before you quickly make the right decision, you need to kill the fear in yourself. Because of it, the need to choose is perceived as a burden - an attempt by all means to avoid it or delay it for some more time.
In addition, a lot depends on the person: under the same circumstances, someone makes a decision, and someone tries to transfer responsibility to another. Because everyone sees the world differently. Two people, having lived the same situation together, will tell about it in different ways.
The world through the prism of beliefs
We see our world through the lens of our beliefs and knowledge. They, like filters, are able to pass only the information that is needed. Based on this, important conclusions are drawn. Before making the right decision, one should not give up, one should not give up, otherwise the person will not see a way out of the situation. “I can't do anything. I am a small person. I have nothing but work. I will always have to live in poverty,” such beliefs prevent me from being free, decisive, purposeful, persistent, believing in myself, depriving me of a choice. Due to such blockages, important information does not reach our consciousness, we simply reject it.
Is there a choice?
Of course, situations are different, but, regardless of the circumstances, the decision is made by the person himself. But how it will be, conscious or not, is the question. A conscious decision is a clear vision of the future result. The unconscious is expressed in automatic action under the influence of an impulsive, passionate desire: “It happened like that”, “I couldn’t restrain myself”. In other words, a person himself does not understand how he did this or that action, and as a result he cannot realize the consequences.
In reality, we cannot know everything, and sometimes we are not able to perform competent actions in all respects, but we need to strive for the best, knowing not only ourselves, but also the world around us. A clear and precise understanding of how to find the right solution to a problem is the basis of an effective choice.
Right Criteria
The main question today, which many people ask themselves: "How to get out of this or that situation?" Experts are sure that there is always a way out if we set the right criteria, which we determine for ourselves.
For example, if a woman wants to create a harmonious relationship and sets herself the task of meeting an athletic, swarthy, wealthy and intelligent man, then this will not be enough. Since such a desire determines only the external forms of the goal. It is necessary to fill the task with content. After all, you can meet many men according to established criteria, but how to understand if there is “the one” among them? This is where you can get confused and make a mistake.
The main criteria for the right choice
For the right choice, the task should be filled with many sub-items: what kind of relationship do you want, what kind of chosen one should be in character. And this goal must be carried in your heart and understand that it is you who are worthy of it. By no means can there be any doubt. You need to believe that a worthy person will definitely meet on your way. It is important to look at inner qualities: will it be comfortable with this man, do you feel joy and peace, do you trust him? Only by answering these questions can you make an informed choice.
Trapped
Before choosing the right decision, you need to understand that the situation can change in any direction, so our future life depends only on our choice. Global changes require balanced decisions, which you need to be prepared for. And it depends on the desire to manage your life and the ability to be responsible for your actions. The biggest mistake people make is an outburst of emotions that leads to rash actions. Any impasse requires reflection, which takes time. Haste leads to negative consequences, and a person drives himself into a trap. No need to rush, otherwise you will have to start all over again. But as they say, you learn from your mistakes. And that's the kind of experience that wisdom brings.
Choice without lot
How to make the right decision, spending a minimum of time and without risk to health? As a rule, when making a choice, a person weighs all the pros and cons. Psychologists even recommend writing arguments in the form of a table. But what if the result is a proportion of 50x50? How to find the right solution to the problem without resorting to the services of lots? Here are some standard tips to help deal with this problem:
When making a choice, you should look a few steps ahead: what results this or that result will lead to. The only right decision should come consciously, after carefully weighing all the possible consequences.
Desperate situations
Surely each of us faced unforeseen situations that required an immediate decision: someone managed to accept them, and someone did not. As practice shows, some unforeseen situations do not forgive doubts and oversights, so every person should know how to quickly make the right decision in order to protect themselves and loved ones from unpleasant situations. The main mistake of many people is unconscious actions in an emergency or an attempt to leave because of fear of responsibility. Therefore, it is better to be prepared in advance so that later you do not pay the price for ignorance and ignorance.
How to make the right decision
There are circumstances when a problem needs to be solved right here and now, but a person cannot do anything because he does not know how to do the right thing. In such situations, before making the right decision, it is necessary to remain calm. After all, it depends on how the problem is resolved. Collect your thoughts, look into the subconscious, ask your intuition to suggest a way out of this situation. And what solution comes to mind first, this is the answer to your request. Even if you have never developed your subconscious mind, it is worth using your intuition. It is important not to make decisions under criticism and pressure, because being in an unbalanced state, you can make rash choices.
So what helps you make the right decision? These are life experience, lack of fear, intuition, subconsciousness, situation analysis and logical thinking.
