Answer from Doctor Who[guru]
She doesn't give any milk.
Answer from Guest[guru]
An old man was selling an old woman at the market. Nobody gave a ruble for the old woman. Buyer: “Your old lady is too thin! " Old man: " She's sick, damn it, it's just a disaster! "Buyer:"What about in bed? Have you given for a long time? " Old man: "What's the use of it! He lies like a log.” One boy took pity on the old man. Guy: “Let me stay with your granny, maybe we’ll sell your old lady.” Buyer: “Sell the old woman! " Guy: "Buy it if you're rich! Old woman, look, not an old woman, but a treasure! “Buyer: “Your little old lady is too old.” Guy: “She’s unprepossessing in appearance, but cunning in bed.” Buyer: “Does grandma have breasts and a butt?” " Guy: "Oh, you can’t count all her charms! “Buyer: “Is your old woman stubborn? “Guy: “If you bring 100 grams, you won’t be able to hold it!” "BUYER: "DID THE OLD WOMAN READ A LOT ABOUT SEX? " "WHAT IS THE SAME, I READ. AND THERE IS PRACTICE.” The old man looked at his old woman: “Why am I selling you, Marusya? I won’t sell my old woman to anyone! You need such a sex woman yourself.”
Answer from Karen Meloyan[guru]
An old man was selling an old woman at the market
the suseki fucked up - the bully explained
Answer from Lady with a dog[guru]
no one gave a penny
Answer from POSITIFFFCHIK[guru]
And no one bought it...
Answer from Here it is![guru]
While I was selling it, it gave in slightly.
I couldn’t sell it, I got it from an old woman...
You can watch the video performance on YouTube by going to the IzabellaPeysakh video channel... Photo by the author... I am second on the right...
Characters:
Presenter Man Buyer
Trader Armenian Spouse
Presenter:
A man was selling his wife at the market,
Nobody gave a penny for her,
Even though she looked very nice,
But the wife had a bad character:
Jealous, grumpy, overly smart,
And she knew everything about everything herself,
She didn’t let her friends in and hid vodka,
Almost... and threw a frying pan at him...
She sawed without stopping night and day,
She approached money with calculation, with intelligence,
I found his stash at the moment,
It’s as if she’s the main cop in the village...
Our man is very tired of this,
For six months he thought, decided and wondered,
How can he part with a harmful woman?
In peace and happiness to live alone...
And then, one day, the man gathered his courage,
He mentally said goodbye to his wife,
I poured sleeping pills into her tea in the evening,
And he took the sleeping woman to the market in the morning...
Buyer:
Man, are you selling your wife?
Husband:
Selling, am I standing at the market for a reason?
Buyer:
Are you asking a lot of money for it?
Husband:
Yes, where there is a lot - I wish I could get what’s mine back!
Buyer:
I think she's too smart?
Husband:
But that’s the trouble, she’s already very smart!
And I’m with her when I’m drunk,
I feel like a complete fool!
Buyer:
Have you often poured wine for you?
Husband:
I don’t remember what it smells like!
Buyer:
Your wife is too good!
Guess she doesn't know how to do anything?
Husband:
No, on the contrary, although I’m not happy,
She is simply a fan of her work!
She gives herself completely,
Cleaning and washing, bulldog grip,
I can't sleep at night, I'm like a bee in the kitchen,
And then he collapses into bed from fatigue
Buyer:
What about sex? Are you getting along with her?
Husband:
What kind of sex is there?! Sandwich on the go!
Leading:
The man stood at the market all day,
No one gave a price for a wife,
The neighbor merchant felt sorry for him,
Throwing a beautiful shawl over my shoulders,
Swims towards the man, propping up his sides,
Trader:
Yes, brother, your hand is not easy!
Let me sit with your wife
And I'll show you how to trade!
Leading:
The wife slept at the market all day,
She fell off the counter, falling on one side.
One Armenian walked through the bazaar,
I saw her, swallowed an orange,
Breathing stole, trembling in ecstasy...
Armenian:
What a sexy woman lies here!
Will you sell Jana?
Trader:
Buy if you're rich!
Take off your boots, not a woman, but a treasure!
Armenian:
Wah, treasure GAVARiSH? What... is she rich?
Trader:
Come on? The box is full of different trinkets!
There are medals, diplomas and certificates,
Sings and dances, you can’t count it all!
Armenian:
What if you go out with friends until the morning?
I will be godless, what will she say?
Trader:
He will kiss you, warm up his friends,
And he will greet you at the door with a smile,
And he will pour a glass and feed you fully,
Such a good wife, brother...
Armenian:
Karoshiy, handsome and smart wife,
I really need her like this at home,
I’ve been dreaming about women like this, wow, for a long time!
Leading:
And he took out a wad of dollars from his pocket...
The man looked at his wife,
He wiped a stingy tear from his cheek
Man:
Why am I, Marusya, selling you?
I need such a wife myself!
Reviews
Romantic:
I won't go to the Bolshoi Theater anymore!
Your theater turned my head!
It's definitely a little simpler!
But now I’m an old-timer spectator!
Isabella Peisakh:
Now I'm afraid of ruining the Bolshoi Theater,
Only a psychiatrist can cure me of fear...
Romantic:
I will never tire of admiring your talent!
I watch your creativity tirelessly!
The ability to transform like this
I don’t find it in everyone today!
The daily audience of the portal Stikhi.ru is about 200 thousand visitors, who in total view more than two million pages according to the traffic counter, which is located to the right of this text. Each column contains two numbers: the number of views and the number of visitors.
(Cartoon "A man was selling a cow at the market" remake), amateur healthy image life and proper nutrition.
Participants in the scene: Presenter (aka Well done), and the old seller (Husband of the hero of the day), and the buyer (it’s better if there are two different people)
Voice behind the scene:
An old man was selling an old woman at the market
Nobody gave a price for it
Buyer:
Your woman is too thin...
Salesman:
He's on a diet, it's just a disaster
Buyer:
Are you agile in &ex? And how often does he give?
Salesman:
Yes, I have no strength anymore... It doesn’t allow me to rest at all...
Well done:
Grandpa! Your hand is not light. Let me stand with your grandmother, what if we sell your old woman...
Salesman:
Since you want to help me, an old man. Let's try it, and I'll stand.
Buyer:
Will you sell the old woman?
Well done:
Buy if you are rich. She is not an old woman, but a treasure woman!
Buyer:
Yes, your thinness is painfully thin...
Well done:
Eating healthy, doing sports...
Buyer:
Does she know anything about the Kama Sutra and &eks?
Well done:
Reads a lot and has practice...
Buyer:
What about her figure? Is everything okay?
Well done:
Can't get off the trainers
There is a butt, the breasts do not hang...
Buyer:
Yes, your woman is not friendly.
Well done:
You pour a hundred grams, and he will dance and sing...
Leading:
The old man looked at his old woman.
Salesman:
-Why am I selling you, my beloved...
You need such a beauty yourself.
I won’t sell you, dear, to anyone.
Leading:
The fairy tale is a lie and there is a hint in it,
It’s better to praise the woman yourself,
Please and love.
Hello dear readers, welcome to Gennady Korolev in the theme of the fairy tale skits on new way.
Our people love and know how to have fun; in this regard, fairy tales and skits in a new way could not come in handy. Take any well-known fairy tale. adapts to a specific person or event and have fun from the heart.
And maybe not everything in this sketch is new, but the main thing is fun and enthusiasm, improvisation and, of course, the emotions of the participants. We bring to your attention a fairy tale sketch in a new way “How an old man sold an old woman at the market”
- Leaflets with text are prepared for all participants (It is enough to make several copies of the entire text, and then mark your remarks for each with a marker)
- Actors must be dressed up or minimally embellished (see video). For example:
The old man puts on a hat with earflaps and a hat; if your wardrobe allows, an old shirt; girded with a belt; picks up a staff, etc.
The old woman puts on a scarf; sundress dress; like a new Russian grandmother's jacket; takes a cane, etc.
The buyer puts on any hat or remains as is (you can dress in a new way in your own way)
The guy should look like a guy, that is, a guy’s headdress (cap, something made of fur, if a girl is playing, you can wear a jacket)
- It is worth warning the players to follow the text without rearranging the words, since there are verses, and any improvisation that does not rhyme immediately hurts the ears
- Pay more attention to artistry, intonation and facial expressions
Fairy tale scene “An old man was selling an old woman at the market”
1.HOST
2.GRANDFATHER
3. OLD WOMAN
4. BUYER1
5. GUY
6.BUYER2
An old man was selling an old woman at the market
no one gave a ruble for the old woman
Although many needed a woman
Apparently people didn't like her
BUYER:
Man, are you selling your woman?
GRANDFATHER:
Selling.
I've been standing with her at the market since morning.
BUYER:
And how much are you asking for her, man?
GRANDFATHER:
Where can I make money? I wish I could get my money back
BUYER:
Your old lady is too sick
GRANDFATHER:
The damn thing is sick, it's just a disaster!
BUYER:
And your little woman can do a lot?
GRANDFATHER
Yes, I haven't seen a damn thing from her.
BUYER:
What about in bed? Have you given for a long time?
GRANDFATHER
Yes, what's the use of it, it lies like a log.
LEADING
The man stood at the market all day
no one gave a price for the woman.
One boy took pity on the old man.
BOY:
Dad, your hand is not easy!
Let me stand with your granny.
Maybe we'll sell your old lady.
For you - so that you buy a pullet,
And give me fifty dollars for a shot glass!
GRANDFATHER:
Wait, my dear. Sell it if you're smart.
If you help me sell it, I'll give you moonshine!
BUYER:
Sell the old woman!
BOY
Buy if you're rich!
Look old woman
Not an old woman, but a treasure!!!
BUYER:
Your old lady is too thin!
BOY
The view is not fancy.
And she's cunning in bed!
BUYER:
How much does the old woman read about sex?
BOY:
Yes, I read a lot and have practice!
BUYER:
Does grandma have breasts and a butt?
BOY:
Oh, you can’t count all of grandma’s charms!
BUYER:
Yes, your old woman is somewhat gloomy!
BOY:
If you give me a hundred grams, you won’t be able to hold it back!
BUYER:
Does she want to have sex?
After all, she’s clearly not twenty years old!
Doesn't she have a headache?
He has one foot in the grave!
BOY:
That's right, grandma is very old.
But this is a plus for her, not a problem!
Grandma doesn’t think about her homeland.
Is every night suddenly the last of your life?
That's what she does in the end,
Why do young people open their mouths?
LEADING:
The old man looked at his old woman
GRANDFATHER:
Why am I……. Am I selling you?
I won’t sell my old woman to anyone,
You need such a sex bomb yourself!
LEADING:
The fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it,
And for you, grannies, a lesson.
Guys, let them love you
To be carried in their arms,
Don't lie like a log in bed,
Please your husband in every way!
I hope you liked these fairy tales and scenes in a new way.
