Fear of communication due to fear of eye contact. With high-ranking officials. How to get rid of anthropophobia yourself

Shyness is a common problem; many people are simply embarrassed to admit it. Vicious circle? It looks like it. How to stop being afraid of people if the very thought of publicity fills you with fear? Numerous similar recommendations in the media repeat the same thing: do what you are afraid of. Strange advice, considering that a shy person will not be able to immediately become the life of the party and his fear of people will only increase. The true cause and solution to the problem of fear of other people must be sought in a completely different way. And we seem to know exactly how to stop being afraid of people.

Universal advice is the lot of amateurs and information sources with a superficial approach, while self-doubt and fear of communicating with people are rooted deeply in the individual characteristics of a shy person. To help him stop being afraid of strangers, you must first not provoke this fear in him, that is, be a fairly close friend whom he trusts. Agree that a consultant, even an experienced and attentive one, remains a stranger. There is another way out: work on yourself. When you are alone, you can take the advice of psychologists and stop being afraid of people.

How to become an extrovert and stop being shy around people?
The characteristic “natural shyness” is not accidental, but it is also not entirely accurate. Indeed, timidity is often congenital and is determined by the type of temperament and personality type. Introverts are more withdrawn, focused on internal experiences and are not inclined to actively communicate with people around them. Extroverts are sociable and friendly, they enjoy being around people and making new acquaintances. Therefore, brave and open people are usually called extroverts, and those who are shy and fearful are labeled as introverts. Such a reckless approach - big mistake, and that's why:

There are practically no absolute types; every person has extroverted and introverted traits, manifested to a greater or lesser extent. But the real fear is strangers- permanent sensation. It is consistent with temperament, but does not directly depend on it. Not all introverts are afraid of people, and someone who is not afraid of people is not necessarily an extrovert.
Fear of communicating with others appears in childhood, but it is not innate, but acquired at the earliest stages of exploring the world and forming self-esteem. The same childhood complexes that are considered to be the cause of most personal problems in life make an adult unreasonably afraid of other people.
Shy children may grow up in different families, but their upbringing, the attitude of adults and the atmosphere in the home have a strong influence on how they treat people. Try to remember how your relationship with your parents and their attitude towards you contributed to your fear of new people.
Teenage fear of new people is explained by changes in character and life, growing up and the inability to control oneself and act in previously unknown circumstances. In the normal course of life, this fear gradually disappears as one grows older.
Fear of people and constraint in communication may appear at a later age if chance contributes to this. A stressful situation, failure, public shame is so shocking that a person loses self-confidence and begins to fear a repetition of his failure.

One way or another, in order to stop being afraid of people, you need not to break yourself and your character, but to look for the cause of fear, the origin of fears. To become an extrovert without being one to begin with would mean changing your personality, which is impossible. But it is possible and necessary to cope with your complexes and stop being afraid of people.

How to stop being afraid of new people?
Please note that embarrassment and fear arise in front of new people, strangers or casual friends, while a close circle of friends is perceived calmly, without negative emotions. It is possible to experience any feelings towards your closest relatives and household members: irritation, fatigue, misunderstanding, but not fear. This is obvious, but it rarely comes to mind to formulate it. What does this understanding provide? It allows us to draw further conclusions:

Fear of new, unfamiliar people is based on self-doubt. People who lack self-confidence think that everyone around them notices their shortcomings, moreover, they pay close attention to them and condemn them. This is not just wrong, but even paradoxically self-confident! Well, who cares about you, people have plenty of their own worries! Realize this - and the degree of fear will decrease.
Overcoming self-doubt is not an easy job, but it needs to start as early as possible. You can start by acquiring skills that make you feel justifiably proud of yourself. It can be sports, creative, student success - choose according to your inclinations and interests. The main thing is that the attention of others, real or apparent to you, will receive a worthy reason.
Working on yourself and achieving your goals performs another not obvious, but valuable function. Get carried away by sports, dancing, drawing or another hobby, you will forget about your fear and take your mind off it. If previously it was a continuous leitmotif of your life, now it will recede into the background, periodically receding under the pressure of positive and constructive emotions.

As strange as it may sound, in order to stop being afraid of people, you need to shift the focus of attention from people to yourself. Build yourself, shape and find your inner core, hold on to it and stop being afraid of the people around you. Ideally, such tactics will first lead to a calm attitude, and then even pleasure from new acquaintances.

How exactly to stop being afraid of people?
The specific steps you take to overcome your fear of people depend on your primary goal. Stopping being afraid is too vague a concept, while in reality some people want to learn how to speak in front of an audience, others want to get acquainted with representatives of the opposite sex. Formulate your problem to choose the shortest path to its solution:
By the way, social interaction without any special reason causes shy people more problems than discussing meaningful topics. Therefore, you may find that the prospect of talking to a colleague, future mentor, or student does not evoke fear. True, there is another insidious nuance here. Your tendency to withdraw may be heightened if you feel awe, humility, or awe in front of someone you're talking to. So a celebrity, authority figure or idol is a controversial candidate for honing communication skills. You can go all-in and gather your will into a fist - this will be a bold decision. Or put off getting to know each other for a while, until you stop being afraid of people and can confidently and without embarrassment communicate with an interesting, charismatic person.

The characters of the people around us play an important role in the problem of fear of people. People around you can either help or hinder you from stopping being afraid of people. This is why it is so important to carefully choose your social circle, especially at first. And when you are alone, reinforce your confidence with auto-training and rehearsals in front of the mirror. These banal techniques may seem naive and useless, but they have their effect. positive influence in a complex of self-education measures. Only in this way, by comprehensively and carefully listening to yourself and working on yourself, can you stop being afraid of people and learn almost any skill that you lack for happiness. We wish you strength, self-confidence and good luck!

Anthropophobia is the fear of communicating with strangers, obsessive-compulsive disorder, in which the anthropophobe tries to avoid crowded places.

An anthropophobe is frightened by public transport and shops, because he cannot let go of the feeling that everyone is looking only at him. Such people do not go to parties and reunions of classmates, because they are stopped by the fear that they will have to communicate with people there.

Even just making an important call is a problem for an anthropophobe, since at the other end of the line there will be an interlocutor waiting for him with whom he will need to communicate. As a result, such a person withdraws into himself and becomes a recluse, his life proceeds alone, his alienation towards people and the confidence that no one understands him grow stronger.

Fear is the enemy of logic.
Frank Sinatra

Symptoms and causes of fear of communicating with people

In our life we can often find this social problem called anthropophobia. Why is this happening? In fact, the exact reasons for this modern psychology does not find.

Many experts argue that the reason for the fear of communicating with people is rooted in a person’s childhood. This could be any psychological trauma: an insult inflicted on a child, ridicule from peers, problems in social life, or simply an innate complex. As a result, a person isolates himself from everyone, preferring loneliness to communication.

What makes a person feel afraid of people in a store or on the street? Why are some people afraid to talk on the phone? The reasons for which anthropophobia manifests itself in a person can be very different.

Let's look at the main reasons for the development of Anthropophobia in humans:

Fear of crowds. You feel afraid of large crowds of people. You are uncomfortable being in public and hate being the center of attention. Often, crowds of people make you so afraid that it sometimes develops into a panic attack.
Fear of a stranger. You are afraid of other people's attention, touches and even glances; you experience severe discomfort when a stranger approaches you. Simple communication makes you panic and want to hide.
Fear of specific people. You try to avoid a certain type of people, for example: drunk, fat, cheerful, serious, etc. Sometimes you yourself cannot explain to yourself the reasons for such fear, which most likely come from your childhood.
Fear in people who have changed something about themselves. Often, anthropophobia can appear in a person who was able to change his appearance through his own efforts. For example, you yourself were able to significantly lose weight, and now you have become afraid of fat people.

The main methods of treating anthropophobia

It is almost impossible to overcome the fear of communicating with people on your own. A person suffering from anthropophobia needs the help of a qualified psychologist.

A specialist will help you identify the reasons why you have this fear and prescribe a course of treatment, which consists of confidential conversations with a psychologist.

Anthropophobia– the problem is serious, and it must be treated very responsibly. The main thing is to overcome yourself and seek help from a specialist, whom many are afraid to go to precisely because of their fear of people, even though these people can help get rid of the fear of communication. It turns out to be a vicious circle.

If you cannot decide to take this step, then you have the opportunity to help yourself:

Step one: realize in in full the presence of this problem.
Step two: determine exactly what fear is preventing you from living a full life in order to identify the “root of evil.” Strangers? Crowded places? Or specific situations, in which you are forced to contact strangers?
Step three: Start to overcome your problem little by little by taking small steps to solve it. Buy something you like in a store, try to travel at least a couple of stops by bus, go to the cinema for the long-awaited premiere.

Yes, it will not be easy at first, but these will be your small victories - soon you will feel that your fear has decreased, it has become easier for you to go outside, and you are already on the path to healing.

How to overcome the fear of communicating with people

Due to the fact that throughout your life you have had virtually no contact with people, you have, of course, lost all your skills.

But without communicating with people you will not be able to overcome your fear. The more you contact them, the faster your fears will go away. At the institute (if you are a student) or at work (if you are an independent person), do not sit on the sidelines - join people, participate in discussions, express your opinion:

Don’t be afraid to speak, they will definitely listen to you and support the conversation.
Don’t refuse invitations to holiday events, go to parties and try to gradually get involved in the general fun.
No one is asking you to immediately throw yourself into the deep end; first, just try to take the first steps to overcome your fear of communicating with people.
Try to communicate as much as possible, don’t be afraid to carry on a conversation, smile more often and just be yourself.
Believe me, people like to be in the company of a sociable, positive and sincere person.

Video: How to overcome the fear of communicating with people

Bottom line

Remember that there will always be something in which you are stronger and better than others, be it knowledge of literature or discernment in cinema.

You always have the opportunity to apply your best sides when communicating with people, thanks to which you can overcome fears.

Don't be afraid to be yourself - and your life will change dramatically!

Being a social creature, a person can still have ambivalent attitudes towards other people. Fear of people - as a type of social fear - is increasingly found in society and has an impact on people's mental health.

The specifics of anthropophobia become clearer if we monitor the behavior of a person with fear of people:

awkwardness(stiffness) of movements and behavioral reactions in in public places(“in public”) - anthropophobes always think that they will be ridiculed, that there is something wrong with their clothes, appearance, actions;
excessive excitement during or before communication (even ordinary), avoidance of “meeting eyes” - people with fear of others always experience discomfort when talking with someone (palms sweat, heart beats intensely, breathing becomes erratic), they try to end the interaction as quickly as possible;
confusion of speech and manners of expressing judgments - such people confuse themselves, jump from thought to thought, drop something or bump into something, this makes them even more worried, stammering and confused;
panic stupor may occur– a feeling of panic is experienced simply from the thought of possible participation in a public event, about communicating with many people, or about a future performance;
drawing up "scenarios", how to avoid even the very hint of a situation of interaction with others.

Fear of people differs from social phobia in the following ways:

fear of all people without exception;
closed lifestyle, voluntary seclusion;
excessive control and sensitivity when personal space is violated.

With anthropophobia, another interesting detail of fear may arise - selective fear. It manifests itself in fear of certain specific individuals: obese women, foreigners, noisy children, loud men, old women, gypsies, homeless people, etc.

Causes of anthropophobia

The difficulty with uncontrollable fear of people is that it does not have clearly defined reasons. Psychologists and psychiatrists have long concluded that anthropophobia is a companion to many mental disorders, diseases or disorders.

A kind of catalyst for its “presence” in a man or woman is compulsive behavior, expressed in the performance of obsessive movements, actions and actions.

The purpose of such acts is the function of protection - from the phobia itself, from the states, emotions, feelings and experiences that accompany it:

Thus, a person can be possessed by incessant counting - being in a crowd, he begins to count the number of people he meets (without stopping, with undying activity).
The feeling that you can become infected with some kind of disease from the people around you also indicates the presence of fear of people in the individual. Therefore, any communication is reduced to nothing for them, even with relatives, friends or just loved ones.

Focusing on the causes of anthropophobia, it is necessary to mention that it most often manifests itself in adolescence, regardless of gender.

The reasons for the occurrence of this type of phobia can be described as follows:

Children's fears, stress and psychological trauma. When faced with violence, aggression and other negativity, the child comes to the conclusion that the most comfortable thing for him is to be alone with himself. This pattern carries over into adulthood.
Intense criticisms and rejection from people significant to the person. This hurts pride, reduces self-esteem to the lowest levels and leads to defensive reaction– avoidance of communication and interaction with people.
Neurosis with incessant fear to get into a mess, awkward or shameful situation. The constant expectation of such circumstances leads to excessive suspicion and bias, forcing one to adhere to a strategy of isolation from society, public events and speeches in front of big amount of people.
Personality characteristics. Here, the factor that determines the fear of people is the psychology of the individual, his specific characteristics that distort the perception of social reality: introverted character, melancholic temperament, a tendency to reflection and self-examination, features of the formation of a person as an individual.
The influence of stereotypes. Socially desirable qualities are instilled by parents, childhood: for example, boys should be masculine and unsentimental, girls should be feminine and flexible. The discrepancy in the perception of one’s own characteristics and the characteristics valued in society - if they do not coincide, leads to the emergence of a fear of social evaluation and communication in general.

How to get rid of fear of people

Anthropophobia is not as harmless as it might seem at first glance. It affects not only mental functions, but also contributes, for example, to the occurrence of cardiovascular diseases (vegetative-vascular dystonia, etc.).

Treatment of fear of people is complicated due to its specificity: the very first step - seeking help from a specialist in overcoming phobias - causes significant difficulties for an anthropophobe.

Lacking proper communication and interaction skills, he becomes increasingly convinced of the impossibility of ordinary social actions and demonstrates antisocial behavior, thereby exacerbating his anxious state and obsession.

The timely intervention of a professional psychotherapist (psychologist or psychiatrist) will help to overcome fear of people, which will help establish the correct diagnosis and root causes of fear, and select an adequate technique to combat fear.

To overcome the fear of people around you, you need to take a number of steps:

First– awareness of the very fact of the existence of fear and its harmful influence on the individual, recognition of the problem.
Second– establishing and specifying the content of the problem (what exactly frightens the most is the people themselves and a large number of them, the fact of the need for communication, etc.).
Third- searching for a way out of a scary situation. For an anthropophobe, this means expanding one’s own communication (developing a positive scenario for the circumstances of interaction with other people, conscious encouragement to expand one’s social circle).
Fourth– consolidation of achieved results. Communication skills are something that can and should be developed. First, through individual actions and successes, gradually expanding your communication capabilities, mastering the potential successful communication– a person can make fear of people recede.

These steps will encounter enormous resistance - it is difficult to master in an instant what a person fears and avoids the most.

Therefore, you need to train with a gradual increase in load - from a few minutes and small moments, to more global actions in communicating with people and over a significant time frame.

An approximate set of techniques and exercises for developing communication skills and interaction with other people:

1. You can start by gradually getting used to the interaction. Indirect communication will help here. For example, through a telephone - it allows you to communicate anonymously; the reactions of a person with a phobia of people (blushing, squeezing handy objects, jerky movements) on the other side of the line are invisible.

An anthropophobe can call the helpline and find out several numbers of some companies or consultants. Or inquire about the work schedule of any services (utilities, household services). You can also use information stations at stations to find out the transport schedule. To simplify the task (on initial stages) You can write down questions on a piece of paper and simply read them out.

2. To expand interaction with representatives of society, it is necessary to “go out in public”: take a ride on the subway or other form of public transport. It's better not during rush hour or on too busy routes.

You can also observe people, become interested in them - mentally imagine what they “live and breathe.” You just need to find a comfortable place (from a psychological point of view for a person with a phobia) (a secluded corner in a park or a sparsely populated cafe or restaurant) and take a closer look at the people around you, get used to them and become interested in their lives.

3. The next stage could be direct communication. To carry it out, either a familiar person is selected with whom it is more or less comfortable to talk (someone close to you), or one of the neighbors or employees. You shouldn’t plan a long conversation right away – just a couple of questions and an interested listen to the answers.

4. It is important to look for common topics for communication. Any hobby or topic in which the anthropophobe understands and is an expert will help here. Being interested in the content of the conversation will distract you from thoughts of anxiety and fear.

5. The next round of development of the skill to communicate and interact should be the stage of communication with strangers. You can introduce yourself and strike up an unobtrusive conversation with a person who is on the way from or to work, with a neighbor in the area, or discuss a play or film after watching it together.

Anthropophobia can be called a human disease big city(metropolis), where there is a forced need for contact with many people:

both on work or personal issues;
as well as a basic meeting with “brothers” on public transport;
sharing meals in a restaurant or cafe, etc.

The success of the activity in realizing the desire to overcome the fear of people depends on how much a person can adjust himself to a comfortable feeling in such conditions.

Video: Social phobia

The content of the article:

Fear of communication is a phobia that is typical for interlocutors who lack self-confidence. There can be many reasons for its occurrence, which significantly complicates a person’s life. Successful people do not experience such fear, but still the problem voiced is quite common. It is necessary to understand the origins of this pathology and ways to combat it.

Causes of fear of communication

Problems and discomfort when communicating with strangers are a problem that should not be brushed aside. After studying it in detail, psychologists came to the conclusion that the following provoking factors can serve as the causes of fear of communication:

Criticism from those close to you. If at the same time people are significant to a person, then the mechanism of a similar phenomenon is triggered. With systematic negative analysis from family or friends, social phobia may arise, which will then be difficult to get rid of without the help of specialists.
. Very often, the fear of communicating with others begins in childhood, when the opinion of his classmates is very important to the child. If relationships with them are accompanied by insults and offensive nicknames, then there is a high probability that the unformed personality will develop a fear of communication in the future.
Inability to communicate with the opposite sex. The fear of communicating with men is also very often laid down in childhood if the girl had a domineering and oppressive father. A harsh mother can significantly complicate the future personal life of her son, setting an unsuccessful example for the child with her behavior model.
Failing to perform in front of an audience. Many people are terrified of communicating with other subjects after such a fiasco. They begin to replay in their heads Negative consequences a voiced process that they themselves came up with.
Excessive shyness. People cannot be the same in character, even if twins appear in the family. All kinds of complexes and embarrassment for every reason become a serious prerequisite for the development of social phobia in a person.
Inability to formulate thoughts. Some victims of circumstances are simply unable to say everything they think. Such a deficiency is fertile ground for the emergence of fear of communicating with others.

Note! The listed reasons very often go back to childhood, when it is still possible to get rid of the fear of communication. If the problem has already become an established fact, then solving it will be much more problematic.

Types of fear of communication

Psychologists have seriously approached the study of the voiced phenomenon, which prevents many people from becoming successful individuals. Experts have identified several species in order to then decide on methods to combat them:

Fear of dialogue with strangers. Some self-contained individuals are afraid to communicate with those people whom they see for the first time in their lives. Horror grips such unfortunates when they have to dialogue with an unfamiliar person. They are not able to connect even two words, because they fall into real stupor.
Fear of communicating with peers. Shy children who are unable to stand up for themselves are susceptible to this phobia. They usually don't have own opinion, or they are afraid to express it. Trying to always stay in the shadows, they often become outcasts in the team.
Fear of contact with the opposite sex. As already mentioned, very often the problem must be looked for in childhood. The fear of communicating with girls or boys triggers an unhappy personal life. Few people will be interested in communicating with a self-contained person with a large baggage of complexes.
Fear of speaking in front of an audience. You can often meet such individuals who calmly communicate with everyone, but suffer from this phobia. You cannot lasso them onto the stage or behind the podium for speaking. Hundreds of excuses will be made because public speaking is worse than death for such individuals.
. This kind of problem is not that rare. Many people believe that literally all women love to chat for hours in voice mode with their friends. Of course, there are plenty of chatterboxes among the fair sex, but in some cases people are not able to conduct telephone conversations without seeing their interlocutor.
Fear of communicating with superiors. Loyal leadership is a gift of fate, which not every person is given to obtain. If the poor guy has to constantly be in contact with a tyrant boss, then a pronounced type of social phobia begins to form. Find Good work extremely difficult, so sometimes you have to adapt to this problem.

Signs that a person has a fear of communication

A person with such a complex can actually be identified by the following symptoms, which are sometimes visible to the naked eye:

Increased heart rate during dialogue. Social phobes, even in the complete absence of health problems, begin to experience significant discomfort of the stated plan. Their heart is ready to jump out of their chest if they understand that they cannot escape communication with other people or the audience.
Tense muscles and nervous tremors when speaking. Such obvious signs of anxiety clearly reveal a person who is afraid of communicating with anyone. His entire speech is feverish and indicates only a great desire to end the dialogue.
Redness of the face when communicating. Embarrassment sometimes only makes a person look better, but everything is good in moderation. If, during communication, the subject turns burgundy to the color of beets, then this is not a good indicator of his physical and moral condition. Perhaps he suffers from high blood pressure, but in most cases this is characteristic of social phobias.
Sweating during dialogue. If it’s hot outside, then wet armpits are not at all a reason to think that this is a person who is afraid of communication. However, with favorable weather conditions a sweating interlocutor may simply be afraid of contact with someone.
Stuttering during a conversation. If a person does not have problems with diction, then periodically confused speech can signal panic during the ongoing dialogue. At the same time, people with phobias have a shifting gaze or a reluctance to make eye contact with other people.
Abdominal pain due to fear of communication. If fear upon contact develops into real horror, then similar physiological problems often begin. The interlocutor can literally be twisted in half from stress when dialogue is necessary.
Dry mouth when interacting with people. The throat feels like it’s in the desert when a person gets nervous when communicating. Very many people public speaking asking permission to take a sip of water to relax and take a breath.

All of these signs can be combined with each other, creating a serious problem for a person. It is very important to get rid of it, because otherwise there will be no successful life out of the question.

Risk group of people with fear of communication

Not every person suffers from a vocal phobia, because many of us love to be in contact with others. Fear of communication can be either a factor of a certain character or a consequence of events that have occurred.

Most often, the following group of people encounters this problem:

. In most cases, they can talk with the same young mothers, which makes their interests narrower. If they happen to cross paths with people leading an active lifestyle, this often numbs the woman on maternity leave.
Housewives. Such women sometimes limit their lives to four walls. If their friends, after going to work and enrolling the child in kindergarten can quickly adapt to society, then in this case everything is much worse. Housewives simply lose the skills of conducting dialogue with strangers, which becomes a serious problem for them.
People with increased self-esteem of the created image. Idealizing oneself can lead to elementary isolation of a person. He is afraid of criticism from people and the debunking of the myth about himself. It is easier for him to be in constant solitude than to try to establish communication with his environment.
Unconfident people. This may be a consequence of both acquired complexes and character. With such a problem, there is a possibility that another recluse will appear who experiences a fear of communication.
Intimidated personality. The victim of the current circumstances is afraid of everything and everyone, and therefore is not ready to meet society. She sees a catch and a threat in any word of her interlocutor, which is noticeable even with the naked eye.

Methods for dealing with fear of communication

Any problem needs to be dealt with when there is still an opportunity to fix it. Age tactics in this case are extremely important, because it provides different approach to eliminate the phobia.

Ways to eliminate fear of communication in children

The child is often subject to the influence of others, which is not always positive. Great importance for him, it is the opinion of the children's team, which forms a model for the future behavior of the child or teenager.

Fairy tale therapy. Frightening and alarming situations can be dealt with using a voiced method. It is necessary to construct a narrative with a mandatory happy ending in such a way that the child disappears all fears about communicating with other people. However, you should be very careful in composing the story, because children’s excessive trust in strangers can result in a real tragedy.
Fixation on the positive. In a friendly family with a calm everyday environment, the younger generation rarely develops sociopathy. Adults, by personal example, must show the correct model of behavior so that in the future they do not suffer over the question of how to overcome a child’s fear of communication.
Visiting sections or acting classes. Children who actively participate in extracurricular activities are much more sociable than their peers. They overcome stage fright, train their character and, as a result, independently fight their phobias. Acting courses are especially useful. They develop communication skills, help them learn to control their emotions and express them correctly. And such children are rarely bored, so phobias very quickly fade into the background.
Help from a psychologist. A specialist knows better the child’s psyche, which has not yet fully formed. In a particularly difficult situation, he may even recommend taking certain medications. Prescribing medications to your child on your own or on the advice of overly wise friends is strictly prohibited.

Ways to eliminate fear of communication in adults

IN in this case fairytale therapy will not help, because the problem developed in a mature person. When asked how to overcome the fear of communication in adults, psychologists answer as follows:

Standing up for your own opinion. It’s easier to decide for yourself than to turn the idea into reality. However, we have one life, so we need to be able to stand up for ourselves. At first it will be very frightening, but then those around them will see for themselves the changes that have taken place in the person and will stop putting pressure on him with their authority.
The ability to refuse a manipulator. Some people try to avoid communication because they are afraid of being used. Knowing their soft character and compliance on all issues, they withdraw into themselves. You should develop a clear refusal system for yourself, and over time it will become a habit.
Making eye contact. This will not happen right away, but there is no rush to solve the problem raised. To begin with, you can choose a forum you like, where issues of interest to the victim of a phobia are discussed. Then you need to try to communicate with as many people as possible in real life.
Finding a job in a large team. This is in a great way Accustom yourself to being around people. It is worth prohibiting yourself from thinking that the world is full of insidious and bloodthirsty individuals. Good people much more, so you need to make yourself positive.
Hypnosis. In particularly advanced cases, experts recommend resorting to this method. Having immersed the patient in a similar state, the psychotherapist finds real reasons phobias. Often the victim himself cannot determine the root of the problem, but under hypnosis he reveals it.

How to overcome the fear of communication - watch the video:

Fear of communication is a serious trouble in life with very disastrous consequences for a person. If you don't solve it yourself radical methods, then you can forget about success and happiness. Only a persistent struggle for one’s future will make a person an accomplished person.

Are you afraid to communicate with people? When talking with someone you don’t know well, is it difficult for you to answer this or that question? Maybe you’re afraid to say something stupid, afraid of what others will think of you? When this happens to us, it is a really serious problem, because it prevents us from freely communicating with people and building our lives.

I'm afraid of people, they're evil

Fear of communication can have different shapes. This often manifests itself in the fact that a person is afraid of aggression from others and therefore simply does not communicate with them. When talking with people, he is afraid that they will answer him in a rude manner or look askance with an unfriendly look, that they will hurt him with a rude word. And this leads to the fact that even asking the time on the street from a passer-by is like going into the cage of a hungry tiger. Such a person is afraid of being rejected and misunderstood. He takes everything personally and feels only an embittered society against him alone.

I'm afraid to say something stupid and be laughed at

Another's main problem is that he cares terribly what others think of him. A person is afraid that when communicating they will think badly of him. It seems to him that all the people he meets on the street look at him with an appraising gaze. And in their thoughts it’s probably not best opinion about him. And all this leads to the fact that he begins to reduce communication with people, minimizes contacts, because he is afraid of other people’s low opinion of himself.

When communicating in a company, he gets very worried, some awkwardness appears, and he begins to frantically figure out what to say. As a result, he remains silent for a long time and gets terribly nervous because of pauses. But his fear constricts his throat, and he is afraid to say something stupid. After the conversation, it seems to him that he has said a bunch of unreasonable, stupid words and he is tormented by the thought that they will now think badly of him.

I'm afraid to show myself in company

The third is afraid that all attention will be focused on him when he wants to tell something. He blushes, and his pulse rises from embarrassment that everyone is looking at him and waiting for his speech. He himself doesn’t notice how his voice begins to tremble treacherously, his hands shake, and his quickening speech swallows and blurs all his words. He begins to mumble, get confused, stumble, he is no longer able to find words to express his thoughts. As a result, he cannot even string two sentences together.

What are the roots of the fear of communicating with people and how can you overcome it?

What psychologists do not recommend in such situations: do exercises that allow you to develop communication skills and skills to overcome fear; always set ourselves up to the fact that all the people we meet and communicate with do not wish us harm. They suggest telling yourself this every day, setting yourself up for good relationships with people. They offer advice like: “This fear is because we do not accept and love ourselves. Love yourself and everything will pass.” Good advice, is not it? If they would still work, it would be easier for everyone, and there wouldn’t be so many unhappy people in the world. But they don't work.

When a person is afraid to communicate with people, it greatly interferes with his life, it brings suffering, and for many, the meaning of existence is even lost. But a person continues to want to communicate with others, be it a passerby on the street, a neighbor in line, or work colleagues. But he cannot do this, because he is afraid, and he himself does not understand why. Let's try to understand the cause of such fears with the help of System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.

This fear is so different

As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains, there are eight types of psyche, which are called vectors. A vector is the innate properties and desires given by nature that shape a person’s character, his thinking characteristics, and determine his actions and actions.

Each vector has its own natural fears; they are quite specific. But only one single vector has absorbed all possible phobias, anxiety disorders and has simply become a champion of fears - it is called visual.

Fear has big eyes

A person with a visual vector, first of all, experiences fear for his own life - this is the primitive state of the visual vector, due to his historical development. The fear of death has been characteristic of its representatives since ancient times.

People with a visual vector are sensitive, sensitive people with a very subtle, gentle psyche and soul. They are kind and are not capable of harming anyone. This is embedded in their psyche. And in ancient times, breadwinners, warriors, and defenders were needed who could kill a mammoth or protect the tribe from the enemy.

The pack didn’t need such people - they couldn’t get them or kill them, they were just an extra mouthful. An unenviable fate awaited boys with a visual vector - they were sacrificed. And girls were taken on hunts for their sensitive eyes, capable of seeing danger or an enemy where others did not see them. The fact is that visual people see everything differently than others; they have very acute vision. They are able to analyze visual information 40 times more than others. Such girls were chosen as the pack's daytime guards for their keen eyesight. But they also had their own danger, their own fear - being eaten by a predator.

To this day, this fear remains with us, only in a more hidden form. We are afraid that we will be “eaten” - not physically, but verbally or just with a glance. We even say: “He ate me with his eyes.” We try to keep a low profile so as not to be noticed. We are afraid to show ourselves, what if there is danger, because predators are everywhere. When talking with strangers, our voice may become uncertain, as if we are not comfortable in front of the person, as if we are not standing on firm feet. There is a fear that we will not be able to speak up for ourselves if they say something unflattering in response.

Self-doubt is characteristic of visual people. When a visual person has no friends, no outside support, no feeling that someone needs him, no emotional connections, which are necessary for a visual person, then self-doubt appears. With the fear of “being eaten,” all this turns into a fear of communicating with people.

Hostages of the first experience

Another reason for the fear of communication may be a sad first experience and fixation on it, to which owners of the anal vector are susceptible. These are thorough, slow, calm, assiduous people. Such people do not have a flexible psyche, but they have a phenomenal memory; they remember the entire past, both good and bad.

A person with an anal vector has a desire to accumulate and pass on experience to the next generation. All the properties of his psyche are given to accomplish this task. But these properties can play a cruel joke on it when used for other purposes. Memory is given to him for collecting experience, accumulation and transmission further. And he begins to remember and accumulate bad experiences from past states, which slows him down and leads to unconscious isolation from people.

His fear may have been fixed since childhood from insults, name-calling, or because classmates bullied him at school. A person with an anal vector remembers bad experiences for a long time. And if at school, in the yard, in the company of peers he was bullied and humiliated, then he will always remember this. And then generalize this experience to everyone - all people are the same, all are evil and you can expect only one bad thing from everyone. Thus, without realizing it, we record bad experiences for the rest of our lives. We don’t compare our small negative experience with our whole life and get stuck in the past.

We want to have many friends and acquaintances and spend interesting time, but communication is a skill that is developed from childhood, and which, under certain circumstances, simply was not formed in right time. If there was a bad experience of communication, then the person is simply afraid to further expose himself to attacks from the outside. Classmates mocked, humiliated, called names. And when you grow up and become an adult, you are already afraid to communicate.

Psychologists say: “Just feel more confident in society, don’t be afraid to express your opinion.” And if it’s scary to express an opinion, because there was an experience that they attacked you for your, in their opinion, incorrect thoughts. And you have this experience imprinted on you, that all people are evil, most of them have only negative emotions and it’s scary to say something - they will look at you with hatred and disapprove.

A visual person needs to move out of fear of people into a state of love for a person. This is when fear “for oneself” turns into sympathy and compassion for those who are worse off than us. But sometimes he cannot do this due to the presence of an anal vector. He cannot, because people once caused him pain, suffering, and this was recorded in his memory. What prevents him from realizing himself in the visual vector is the sad experience of the past and the burden of grievances against all people.

Who cares what people think about him?

Perhaps you worry about what people think of you? How will you be perceived critically? System-vector psychology explains this condition by the presence of certain properties of the anal vector.

Owners of the anal vector are real neat people, neat people. They have perfect order in the house, clean tablecloths and dishes, always polished clean shoes, they are neat - not a single stain, not an extra fold on the clothes. For such people, their deepest and greatest fear of people is to be “dirty,” to disgrace themselves.

It is important for us to be appreciated and noted with a plus sign. For a person with an anal vector, the main thing is that the reputation is good, clean, untarnished, that there is authority and honor. We feel good among other people, when we are valued and respected, this makes us feel joyful and satisfied in life. Sometimes we even begin to experience a painful dependence on approval.

But it happens that you meet smart people, the most the best professionals, and it’s even awkward to open your mouth and insert a word - real erudites. You feel your lack of knowledge. You catch yourself thinking that it’s scary to say something stupid and be ridiculed. What if they ridicule your thoughts, make a mockery of you - it’s scary to disgrace yourself with your modest knowledge and skills. And when the social circle is small, the skill and practice of expressing one’s knowledge and thoughts verbally is generally lost. In people there is an inhibition effect and fear: “What if I say something wrong?” Fearing disgrace, a person experiences a strong fear of saying something stupid, of saying something wrong.

It is important to us what complete strangers think about us. A person with wants to be the best for everyone. And if he is also with, then he is the best. But if he said something wrong, and they looked at him with a reproachful, appraising, disapproving look, then the person immediately became stressed: “They thought badly of me! There will be an opinion about me that I am stupid and stupid.” He remembers these states and in the future is afraid to express his thoughts, because he is afraid of experiencing shame.

People are not animals. “Bite” only because of shortages

A painful experience of communication, for various reasons, can make a person want to close himself off from people and become a recluse. If we were hermit crabs, we probably wouldn't care. Having voluntarily exposed themselves to loneliness, they would hide in their shell and live there until old age. But man is a social creature; he cannot live alone. He needs to communicate and maintain contact with people. And fear becomes a real barrier for him on the path to a happy life.

When a person begins to understand other people, to see them from the inside, what motivates them, he can see that some are unhappy because of their shortcomings. It turns out that no one wants to “eat” you or even offend you with a word, they just snap, curse, insult, mock because of their pain, feel hatred because of their bad conditions.

And you no longer see that people are animals and will immediately devour anything, but you see their pain and suffering. Then the desire arises only to sympathize, realizing that something is wrong in the life of the interlocutor. And there is no longer that fear that you will be insulted or perceived differently - what is said is no longer taken to heart, since, in fact, it has nothing to do with you. A person speaks through his shortcomings, and if he is hurt, he will project it onto others.

Thanks to system-vector psychology, fears go away, any kind of fear. This is the effect of understanding the causes and the human psyche as a whole. Here are just a few who managed to get rid of fears:

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows you to understand the cause of your fears, understand their roots, work through conditions in depth, and also understand other people, their conditions and lacks.

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»