A wedding is a sacrament in which the marital union is blessed. Many newlyweds get married immediately after registering their marriage at the registry office, while others prefer to check their feelings, find out what is needed for the wedding and prepare thoroughly. These couples undergo this ritual after living together for several years or after the birth of a child.
Choosing a wedding date
What do you need for a wedding?
- two icons: the Savior and the Mother of God;
- white towel or a canvas on which the newlyweds will stand;
- wedding candles;
- handkerchiefs for candles white;
- The newlyweds and guests must have crosses;
- wedding rings;
- Marriage certificate.
Appearance
- the bride must have a headdress, this is a veil, a headscarf;
- shoulders and chest should be covered with a cape;
- girls are not allowed to wear trousers in the temple;
- Make-up and manicure should not be flashy and kept to a minimum.
There will be no wedding
- Tuesday Thursday Saturday;
- to posts: Lent, Petrov fast, Assumption, Rozhdestvensky;
- during Maslenitsa;
- on Easter week;
- during the period from Christmas to Epiphany.
Marriage in the church is impossible if the young people have married three or more times. If the newlyweds are closely related or at least one of them was not baptized at the time of the wedding.
In order for your wedding to become a holiday that you will remember for the rest of your life, take good care of its organization. We have told you tips on what you need for a wedding in a church, and you try to follow them.
Wedding rings
Wedding rings have long been considered a sign of fidelity, indissolubility and purity of the marriage union. Previously, the rings had to be different: one was gold and the other was silver. The gold ring was a symbol of the sun, because of its brilliance, and the silver ring was similar to the moon. Nowadays, as a rule, gold rings are chosen for the bride and groom.
What do you need for a wedding if you are having a second marriage?
Newlyweds who have decided to unite their hearts by marriage for the second time and want to get married should know that the church does not support or approve of remarriages, but a second time is allowed. In this case, two more prayers of repentance are added to the ceremony.
Couples who decide to get married should think carefully about their intentions. Find out what you need for a wedding in a church, how to dress and what prayers you need to know. Good preparation for this ceremony, will allow you to capture these moments even on camera.
At the moment, the wedding ceremony is becoming more widespread in our country, which makes it possible not only to create a marriage, but to illuminate the sacrament of marriage.
The wedding ceremony is not only a beautiful and ancient tradition, but also a responsible step towards creating a strong and happy family. Sometimes a couple comes to this important step years later, only when people are finally convinced of their feelings and intention to live together for the rest of their lives.There are certain days for a church wedding. The most successful day for the sacrament of Wedding is considered to be the 1st Sunday after Easter, which is popularly called Red Hill, in 2017 this day falls on April 23rd, and in 2018 this day falls on April 15th. For the convenience of determining the date, a wedding calendar for 2017 - 2018. From the wedding calendar you will learn on which days, according to the canons of the Russian Orthodox Church, the wedding ceremony can be held, and on which days not (calendar at the end of the article), but let’s start with to whom who can and cannot get married in the Church.
Who can get married in the Church
1. The basic requirements for newlyweds are to be members of the Church (to be baptized, to wear a cross);
An important condition for recognizing the validity of a church marriage is the unity of religion.
2. Have a certificate from the registry office of state registration of marriage. This point is explained very simply - the registry office will not register people who are already married and do not have an official divorce. In addition, the registry office will not register people who are not capable of marriage (insane, sick), people who are closely related, people who have not reached marriageable age, who are forcibly forced into marriage. I would like to note that the presence of a registration certificate for those getting married is a necessary measure. In part, this requirement is imposed on the church government agencies. In the time of our grandfathers, quite a lot of married couples were without official paper, and some couples manage to get married without a state certificate even now (for example, if the priest knows you very well, and you plan to sign at the registry office after the wedding)
Who should not get married in the Church?
1. People who have been married more than 3 times. In church, the first time is considered the norm. The second time they get married in the Church is disapproved and a second marriage is allowed out of leniency towards human infirmities (the ritual itself changes somewhat, for example, crowns are not worn). They marry a third time in exceptional cases, if the reason is valid and the person has repented. No one will be married a fourth time - even widowhood after a third marriage does not give the right to marry a fourth time. State registration in this case does not have such a limitation - and can register at least the sixth or seventh marriage;
2. To clergy, i.e. those who took holy orders. Marriage is possible only before ordination to the priesthood. A priest can only have one wife if he is a married priest. A monk cannot have a wife at all due to the vows he has taken. Violation of this rule threatens with deprivation of holy orders;
3. Monks and nuns, after taking their vows, are also not allowed to get married in the Church;
4. Guilty of the dissolution of a previous marriage. For example, a person guilty of adultery, which caused the dissolution of his first marriage, cannot enter into a new marriage;
5. For those who do not fall within certain age limits. At the moment, the lower age limit for a wedding should be considered the onset of civil majority (the age at which marriage is permitted in the registry office). Church marriage law also sets an upper limit for marriage: for men - 70 years, for women - 60 years;
6. An obstacle to marriage is the lack of consent on the part of the parents of the bride or groom. This type of obstacle should be considered only if the parents of the future spouses are Orthodox Christians. Children of Orthodox parents cannot marry willfully, without parental consent;
When receiving the blessing of the parents is impossible due to their unbelief, it is worth asking the blessing of the bishop to enter into a church marriage without the permission of the parents. The bishop has the right to bless a marriage even if the parents do not agree to the marriage of their children for illegal reasons.
Why don't they get married during Lent?
This is explained by the fact that during Lent, believers are supposed to attend divine services, and not have a wedding feast. Previously, only a wedding was called marriage, and the word “marriage” itself comes from Slavic word“brashno”, translated meaning “feast” or “food”. Fasting is a time of abstinence, including marital abstinence. You are not supposed to visit places of entertainment during fasting - a person must cleanse himself morally during this time. If you look at the wedding calendar, then in the year more days days when they don’t get married than the days when weddings are allowed.
On the eve of the wedding, Orthodox Christians must fast; before the sacrament they should also attend the liturgy, confess and receive communion.
Remnants of paganism make themselves felt to this day, manifesting themselves in all sorts of fables and all kinds of superstitions. The word itself " superstition"(derived from “sue” - in vain and “faith”, literally translated as “vain belief”) - a prejudice representing belief in some otherworldly forces. There is, for example, a superstition that a ring accidentally falling during a wedding or a wedding candle going out portends misfortune: divorce or the early death of one of the spouses. There is also a widespread superstition that the newlywed who first steps onto the spread towel will be the head of the family.
There is also a widespread superstition that you can’t get married in May, and from the older generation you even hear that in Kiev (not to mention the villages or suburbs) you often hear “you’ll suffer for the rest of your life,” etc.
In general, there are a lot of superstitions regarding the wedding date. For example, the total number of weddings in leap year- drops noticeably, and this is due solely to superstitions. 2016 is a leap year and for some reason many people believe that it is not advisable to get married in such a year. The year that comes after the leap year 2017 is considered among our people to be the year of the Black Widow, which means again not good for marriage. So, we have a delusional situation in which two whole years out of four are considered unsuccessful for unknown reasons. Here is what the church says on this topic: “Leap year” is a calendar year necessary for calculating exact astronomical dates. Therefore, people who consider a leap year to be unlucky for any business or undertaking (for example, marriage) fall into sin, because superstition lies in the fact that supernatural significance is attributed to natural objects. “The devil, trying to divert us from deeds of virtue and suppress spiritual jealousy, taught people to attribute happiness and unhappiness to days” (St. John Chrysostom)
Such fictions and superstitions should not worry a believer. And if you are taking such a step as getting married, you must be believers. Such accidents as the falling of a ring or the extinguishing of a candle should be treated precisely as accidents.
What to bring with you to the wedding
So, you have chosen a day and have been assigned a time convenient for you. In advance you will need to prepare:
1. Bottle of red wine (Cahors);
2. A small loaf or bread (left in the Church), not in all churches this is a mandatory item;
3. 2 candles, 5 towels (wedding set);
4. 4 handkerchiefs (two for witnesses to hold crowns and two for newlyweds to hold candles);
5. pair of icons: the Savior and the Mother of God
6. Rings (as a symbol of the eternity of marriage)
You will give the rings to the priest or his assistants, and they will be illuminated on the throne. You also give towels to your assistants before the wedding. Of the 5 towels, one should be large; it will be spread at your feet during the sacrament. A loaf or bread is placed on one, two more are placed on the icons with which you will leave the temple, and the last towel will be used to tie your hands during the Sacrament.
You must understand that not every church offers beautiful wedding candles and towels for them. Take care of this in advance; they can be purchased in large churches or Orthodox stores. Nowadays they sell ready-made, complete wedding sets, although in fact ordinary church candles are also suitable for the sacrament. All visible beauty is needed only for you and does not affect the amount of “grace” you will receive. The most important thing during a wedding is your prayer.
The splendor of the temple decoration - paintings on the walls, icons, a professional choir and the ringing of bells at the end - all this is needed to create a holiday, as well as wedding photographer, who, at your request, will photograph all this beautifully. I’ll also add on my own behalf that when taking photos or videos of a wedding, you need to take a blessing by asking permission in advance from the priest who will be marrying you. Photography is not prohibited, but the cameraman must be inconspicuous during the wedding and must not disturb anyone present. For example, when photographing a wedding, I don’t use flashes and shoot only with super-fast lenses and open apertures. Ordering wedding photo services- remember that a wedding is primarily a sacrament, and not a photo shoot - and your photographer must be a professional.
Nowadays, everywhere the sacrament of wedding begins with betrothal. The engagement takes place closer to the entrance and only after it the couple enters the center of the temple. During the engagement, the priest gives the betrothed two lighted candles - a symbol of joy, warmth and purity. After this, he puts on the rings, the first one for the groom, then the second one for the bride, and three times (in the image of the Holy Trinity) he changes the rings on their hands.
After the young couple enters the temple, the priest asks whether the marriage is being performed of their own free will and desire. Next, three prayers are said, asking for God’s blessing on those getting married. Then the crowns are brought out (which are popularly called crowns, because they are always decorated like crowns) - and placed over the heads of the newlyweds. The crown is an image of the crown of the Kingdom of Heaven, and it is also a symbol of martyrdom. Life is never cloudless and simple, and in order to live it together to the end you need to have patience, comparable only to the patience of martyrs. In some churches, witnesses do not hold crowns over their heads, but rather put them on their heads.
The main moment of the wedding occurs when the priest blesses the newlyweds three times with the words: “Lord our God, I crown with Glory and Honor.” Then a cup of wine is brought out (the red wine in it is a symbol of the blood of Christ, and the cup itself is a symbol of the common cup of everyday joys and sorrows that spouses must share until the end of their lives). The priest gives the bride and groom to drink from the cup in three doses. Then he ties their hands with a towel and leads them around the table with icons three times, while the wedding choir sings. The circle is a symbol of eternity and continuity, because the sacrament is performed forever. Walking behind the priest is an image of serving the Church.
At the end, the priest gives the young people to kiss the cross and icons, and then hands the icons into their hands and speaks a short sermon - instructions. After the instruction, the newlyweds can kiss, and relatives and friends who came can come up and congratulate the young Christian family.
Only the ruling bishop of the diocese (region) where the wedding took place can dissolve a church marriage, and only in the event of infidelity by one of the spouses or for another serious reason (for example, the death of one of the spouses). “What God has joined together, let no man separate”
Wedding calendar for 2017 (allowed days are marked in pink)
Wedding calendar 2017 and 2018 were created for reference purposes and may contain unintentional inaccuracies; in addition, calendars do not take into account temple holidays of a particular church (in different temples this is different dates), before choosing a final date, be sure to consult with your priest in advance!
Wedding calendar for 2018 (pink cells - allowed days for weddings)
Video: On which days you can’t get married. Priest Igor Silchenkov
Video: The Sacrament of Wedding in the Russian Orthodox Church. Step-by-step instruction
General explanations: On which days can you get married and on which days can you not?
The Sacrament of Marriage is not performed:
Tuesday and Thursday - throughout the year;
On Saturday - throughout the year;
On the eve of the twelve, temple and great holidays;
During the Great, Petrov, Assumption and Nativity fasts;
On Meat Week, during Cheese Week (Maslenitsa) and on Cheese Week; during Easter (Light) Week;
On the days (and on the eve) of the Beheading of John the Baptist - September 11 and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross - September 27;
Also, the Sacrament of Wedding is not performed on the eve of patronal church feasts (each church has its own patronal feasts).
Holidays:
Twelfth, non-transitionable holidays:
Twelfth moving holidays for 2017:
Twelfth moving holidays for 2018:
Great Church holidays:
Church multi-day fasts in 2017:
Church multi-day fasts in 2018:
Solid weeks in 2017:
Cheese (Maslenitsa) – the week before Lent (without meat) from February 20 to February 25, 2017;
Solid weeks in 2018:
A week is a week from Monday to Sunday. These days there is no fasting on Wednesday and Friday. There are five continuous weeks:
The Publican and the Pharisee - begins 2 weeks before Lent from January 29 to February 3, 2018;
Cheese (Maslenitsa) – the week before Lent (without meat) from February 12 to February 17, 2018;
Church one-day fasts, days on which there is also no wedding:
This is the first Sunday after Easter. Unlucky are those marriages that take place in the period of time from the Nativity of Christ to the Epiphany. In addition, there is no need to get married on the eve of the twelve holidays. Under no circumstances get married on all fasts, including Wednesday and Friday. The days of the Beheading of John the Baptist (September 11) and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord (September 27) are dangerous for weddings. A wedding not in a church, but in a monastery, brings misfortune to a marriage; after that, people quickly disperse.
Wedding time
Either the future husband and wife or their parents agree on a wedding in the temple. It is considered a good omen if the time of the wedding is discussed not with the church servant, but with the priest himself. He himself will tell you the hour at which you will appear at the temple. Usually all weddings are held in churches after the Divine Liturgy, this is somewhere from 11 to 1 pm. I would like to give you advice: persuade the priest to have you married without other wedding couples, since this, unfortunately, is done in many churches. As a last resort, pay him or give money to donate to the church. No matter how much he convinces you that this is not important and that all signs are stupid, you must insist on your own. Do not get married in a crowd under any circumstances, it is not good and wrong.
Bell ringing after the wedding
It will be a good sign for a future married couple if you can agree with the priest to ring the bells immediately after the wedding. Remember movies about the old days? They often show a married couple leaving a church while the ringing of bells echoes around them. If for some reason you are denied this at first, pay for that too, but everything will be according to your wedding rites, and good omen when the bells congratulate the newlyweds. Old people claim that the ringing of the bell notifies the heavens that a new family has appeared, and the angels rejoice and pray to God for a happy marriage, for the longevity of the newlyweds and for their future children.
Engagement (wedding) rings
The first wedding item people buy is engagement rings. The wedding ring represents a divine, indestructible union, because there is no way out of the ring, it is inextricable. There are a lot of signs associated with the rings with which husband and wife are subsequently married before God. I think that it will be useful for you, my dear readers, to know these signs.
- Wedding rings cannot be purchased on the wedding day; they must be purchased at least three days before.
- Buy rings only together, as a couple. If you buy rings when you are alone, then you won’t be able to make a couple either.
- It is considered a bad omen if the purchased rings turn out to be small or large. Even if you change them to right size, this will not help you, there will be no peace and love in your family.
- You also cannot make (order) rings for yourself from the rings of relatives and friends. Rings are not made from scrap or rings of deceased people.
- Do not get married with a ring left over from your previous marriage, otherwise this marriage of yours will be unhappy.
- Correct rings are those that do not have any engravings or stones on them. Wedding rings must be smooth. That ring with a stone, even a diamond, is not suitable for getting people engaged.
- Before the wedding, the bride should take off her gloves - wedding ring do not put on fabric.
- Only the groom buys both rings. If a woman buys a ring for herself, and he buys it for himself, then there will never be agreement in such a family.
- Rings are never shown to anyone before the wedding, and certainly no one is ever allowed to try on a wedding ring. Otherwise, the spouses will suffer betrayal.
- In the old days, newlyweds, before going to bed, put the rings in their cups, in a honey drink and drank together. This action is not entirely safe; if you are careless, the ring can be accidentally swallowed.
Wedding outfit: dress, shoes, jewelry
When dressing for the crown, you should not wear a wedding dress, starting from the sleeves, you should first stick your head into the neckline.
Make sure your outfit has even number buttons, otherwise your husband will cheat on you. All buttons must have a pair.
Your wedding outfit should not consist of a skirt and a separate corset. All wedding clothes should be one-piece, so that you don’t have to separate later.
There should be no colors other than white in the entire bride's attire. Even panties and stockings must be white. If you don't have white stockings, it's better not to wear them at all.
The bride should not wear pearl jewelry, otherwise family life there will be a lot of tears.
Do not put flowers in your hair, if there is no veil, the marriage will not last long. The girl who decorates her dress at the waist with flowers will suffer for a long time during childbirth.
Don't get married in sandals, the marriage will be very bad.
Bare shoulders, of course, can decorate the bride, but this will then ruin her family life.
Some brides have adopted the fashion of wearing a wreath of flowers on their heads, like a mermaid. This beauty will backfire on them. You cannot wear a wreath without a veil; they, like mermaids, will be lonely and unhappy all their lives. There is no need to risk your love and family happiness.
In the old days, when the bride was being dressed for the wedding, her bridesmaids stood nearby and sang this song:
"Take a look,
Dear father,
At me, at a young girl,
Am I well equipped?
For God's sake, go to church,
To stand under the golden crown,
accept God's law
With a stranger, with a stranger?
I am for you, father,
I hit with my forehead,
I bow low.
I was with you, father,
Little one, little one,
I walked near the bench,
She ran around with a chair.
You took me, father,
On your white hands.
You lifted me up
Father,
Above the wild little head,
You told me
Father: "
I won't give you up
Dear daughter,
Not for the prince
Not for the master;
I'll put you in prison, dear daughter,
To the green gardens;
I will protect you, dear daughter,
An iron fence;
I will cover you, dear daughter,
Tubular stone;
I'll shower you, dear daughter,
Frequent pearls."
Here I am sitting with you,
Father,
In the nook
Behind the curtain
You protected me, father,
Girlfriends-godmothers;
You covered me, father,
Melancholy and sadness,
Not sprinkled with pearls,
With burning tears.
They'll take my hands
They'll take you
In a house that is not mine.
And I will be there forever
For the service of all people.
Whom I'll tell
Who do I complain to?
Who will call me
Your daughter?
Who will wipe
My bitter tears
And who will comb my hair
My scarves?
Hold me,
Don't let me in, father,
And if you let me go,
You won’t call out
You won't get enough
And you won't be questioned.
I will be a slave
The slave is married."
It is a bad omen if, before going to the registry office, something is hemmed or pinned on the bride; all this should be completed long before the wedding, at least a day before. It is also very bad if something comes off on the eve of the wedding, especially a button - this is a bad omen. To avoid big trouble, you need to immediately read the following prayer:
"In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Every day, every hour.
There is in the ocean-sea
Pike fish,
Her cheeks are damask,
The teeth and mouth are arranged.
She has a tail
Shakes his head
There is enough everything around you,
And what he grabs, he swallows.
So she would grab it
Our grief
She took him to her sea.
Into the ocean-sea
I kept it
And she didn’t let them near (such and such).
Get away from us, woe,
Into the ocean-sea
Get off the TV
From our clear eyes,
From the crown, from the ears,
From red blood.
From the liver of the father-in-law,
From a zealous heart.
In our house
Don't get used to it
Troubles and illnesses
Don't grow too big.
Be my words
Strong,
Be my business
molded
For now, for centuries,
For all time.
Amen. Amen. Amen".
Signs before the wedding
Before they get into the sleigh (car), the young people receive a parental blessing. To do this, the bride and groom kneel down and first kiss the crucifix, and then the icon of the Savior, with which they bless them with the words: We bless you, Children, for receiving a wedding from God. Return from the temple as husband and wife for many years to come. Love God, the fatherland and your parents. May the Lord protect you in all difficult times!
The bride and groom kiss the image and rise from their knees. They go to get into the car first. And their friends, or, as they now say, witnesses, follow them. Parents shouldn't be at the wedding, but people modern views They take whoever they want with them to church and to the registry office. The mothers of the bride and groom must cross themselves in the back of those leaving for the wedding ceremony.
There are also quite a few different signs during a wedding, some of the most important ones, in my opinion, I will indicate below.
Having received the blessing, if the bride and groom bow to their parents at the same time, this is considered a good omen.
Until the guy and the girl get married, while they are still on the way to the temple, they cannot call each other by name, otherwise they will swear a lot.
When the newlyweds are on the way to the wedding and suddenly a storm arises, this sign suggests that there will be a lot of all sorts of excitement and turmoil in the life of the newlyweds. Among those who travel with the young, there is always someone older, and at such a moment he or she must say to the whirlwind: "Turn not at us, spin past us. Spin and sweep into the mountains, bring grief there. Key. Lock. Language. Amen. Amen. Amen."
Of course, some of you will now think: where can this old sign Do you know who will go with us? And you are absolutely right! But for this purpose now you will have this prayer. If, for example, you are getting married in winter, then open the book, write it down on a piece of paper, give it to the elder on the wedding train and warn: if bad weather breaks out, a snowstorm begins, read this prayer.
If you are caught by a thunderstorm or hail on the way to your wedding, you need to say three times:
"Elijah the Prophet,
Father, help me
Everything is bad on our way
Take it.
Let our life
It will be sweet
On the paths
Gladka.
For now, for centuries,
For all time.
In the name of the Father and the Son
And the Holy Spirit.
Now, forever,
Forever and ever.
Amen". If you are getting married in the summer or spring, then here, too, it’s worth insuring yourself in case there’s a downpour or hail while you’re on your way to the wedding! You take an umbrella just in case in cloudy weather, right? And in such an important matter as a wedding, you must be fully prepared!
If a funeral procession comes towards the wedding train, then, you understand, there is little good in this. This ancient conspiracy will save you from harm. Of course, it would be easier to invite a witch with you, just in case, but what if there isn’t one? In general, you still need to have these prayers with you:
"In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
I will become (such and such)
Blessings,
I'll go out into the clear pole,
I'll pray.
On the east side
Worth the church
About distant corners,
About distant nine crosses,
About the distant nine thrones
And distant verbs
Holy Forty Mantises.
No one of this church
Can not
Neither rearrange
Neither transfer,
Nobody can do it
Take it with you,
Nobody can
Let her know the lessons,
Neither dead nor alive
Neither small nor large,
Neither young nor mature,
Neither gray haired ones.
So do all of us
Nobody can
Spoil, ruin,
Ruin.
My words
God given
Interrupt my affairs.
God help me.
God bless.
In the name of the Father and the Son
And the Holy Spirit. Amen."
Signs for a church wedding
When going up to the porch of the temple, the bride must be extremely careful. Long dress sometimes gets tangled in their feet, and some girls, unwillingly, step on the hem of their dress and stumble. A long light veil, blown by the wind, also blocks her view, which means there is a risk of tripping and falling, and it is precisely at this time, while she is climbing the steps, that the bride must mentally say:
"May all our sorrows
Troubles and illnesses
They won't come with us
Down the aisle,
And they will remain
Beyond the threshold of the temple!"
This has been done at all times, and it is still being done, so as not to end up with any misfortune, you never know who wishes you harm.
In the place where the newlyweds will stand, the matchmaker or witness to the wedding lays a towel on the floor of the temple, under their feet. It is generally accepted that the one who is the first of the young people to step on the towel will be the head of the family. Under no circumstances should you leave the towel in the church after the wedding, just as you should not leave your wedding candles. The bride should note which candle was hers and which was her husband’s; for this, the candles can be marked with a nail strip or tape. After a wedding, people usually look to see which spouse has the smaller candle, and who will die sooner. Wedding candles are saved and lit during difficult times, such as when a child gets sick.
Young people must step into the temple with their right foot; they do not enter the wedding with their left foot.
If the newlyweds descend the stairs from the temple after the wedding and from the sky at this time, with a rainbow, it will rain warm rain, then they will live in love and harmony until old age.
When crowns are held over the newlyweds' heads in the temple, they should under no circumstances look into each other's eyes, otherwise there will always be infidelity in their family. You need to look not at the candles, not at the guests, not at the temple choir, but only at the priest crowning them.
The healer who is present at the wedding (her duty is to protect the young from damage during the wedding) should whisper from time to time:
"Save, Lord, and preserve
them from all evil
by the Holy Spirit,
The Life-Giving Cross,
The prayers of all saints.
In the name of the Father and the Son
And the Holy Spirit.
Amen."
If she says this forty times during your wedding, then no one will be able to harm you at your wedding, even if there are forty witches in the temple for this purpose.
Signs after the wedding
After the wedding, the newlyweds go home to take their joy and happiness to their doorstep. This has always been done at all times. Modern youth do not immediately go to the wedding table, but go for a drive through beautiful city places to take pictures in their outfits. I cannot and do not have the right to tell young people to act as their ancestors did, but it is still necessary to think about it.
You need to go home from the temple not on the same road that you took to the temple. While the newlyweds are traveling home after their wedding, countless eyes follow their wedding train. It has long been known and even verified that the message of thoughts materializes. The people looking after you are endowed with different destinies, and among them there are those who have never been married or married, and those who are divorced, widows and widowers who have buried their wives and husbands. Such people, seeing the wedding procession, involuntarily begin to envy your happiness, which means that at this moment you are an object of risk for the evil eye. To prevent bad things from happening, pins should be pinned on the clothes of the bride and groom, somewhere in an inconspicuous place.
The bread with which the bride and groom are greeted after returning from the wedding should be removed so that no one eats a crumb of it. After the wedding, this bread can only be eaten by husband and wife and their closest relatives - mother and father.
When entering the house after the wedding, the bride must touch the door frame front door and mentally say:
"I was a fox
And she became a lioness.
Nobody me
Can't offend
Mother Theotokos
It will help me.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Now, forever, forever and ever. Amen."
Signs at the wedding table
The newlyweds are seated at the wedding table so that their benches (or chairs) are covered with fur coats turned outward. The mother of the groom will have to say in advance about this fur coat: How many hairs there are on the fur coat, So many children will the wife and husband have! This is done so that the young family does not suffer from infertility.
Newlyweds should not drink intoxicating drinks at the wedding table. An ancient sign says: if the newlyweds sip hops at the wedding table during the feast, then their children, when they grow up, will drink wine. In former times, even the Tsar-Father was served at the wedding table not intoxicating wine, but sbiten made from honey.
The tablecloth that covers the wedding table may come in handy. If you sit on this tablecloth when your labor pains begin, your labor will be quick and easy. In addition, if the wedding tablecloth is laid on the table every next wedding anniversary, then the husband and wife will live without parting until the end of their lives. A wedding tablecloth is never given into the wrong hands, for rent. This is your amulet from all troubles and separation.
There must be an even number of guests at the wedding table, including the bride and groom. If for some reason this did not work out, invite someone, even any neighbor, to the wedding table.
If during the wedding feast the bride pours a drink on herself, then her husband will eventually begin to drink.
Sometimes a towel is placed on the bride and groom's lap to prevent them from getting their outfit dirty. You cannot wipe the hands of husband and wife with the same towel at the table. Ask for another towel for your lap.
Make sure that no one steals any part of your wedding attire (for example, a bride's glove). Often people steal it on purpose to increase their own happiness at the expense of the happiness of others. There were cases when the bride took off her veil for a short time (to make it easier to go to the toilet) and during this time the veil disappeared without a trace. Later, the couple's marriage fell apart.
There is such a sign: if a young woman wants peace in the family, then she offers the guests a toast to her mother-in-law; if life’s well-being is more important to her, then her first toast will be to her father-in-law.
Signs about wedding gifts
When young people get married, it seems to them that everyone around them is rejoicing at their happiness, admiring them and wishing them well. But, unfortunately, this is not always the case. If, for example, a guy had a girlfriend before he got married, with whom he for a long time met and even promised to marry, then it cannot be ruled out that the girl deceived by him, harboring a mortal grudge, will not try to take revenge on him - to break him new love. Taking advantage of the wedding turmoil and confusion, when sometimes many of the guests do not know each other, his ex-fiancee can easily pass on a gift through someone, plotted to cause a scandal and divorce. In fact, all this is not at all difficult, because everyone has fun during the wedding and no one thinks about bad things, but meanwhile the one who needs it invisibly sows his evil in the new family!
), and it is customary for the priest to be from the white (non-monastic) clergy. In the practice of the Orthodox Church, weddings are usually performed after betrothal.
The wedding takes place like this: after the betrothal, the bride and groom, holding lighted candles, enter the temple from the vestibule (or from the western wall of the temple they approach closer to the altar) and stand on a white cloth lying in front of a lectern with a cross and the Gospel.
The priest, having asked about the firmness of their intentions, proclaims a blessing and a great litany, reads the priestly prayers and then with a blessing places crowns on the heads of the bride and groom and three times proclaims the secret prayer “Lord our God, crown (them) with glory and honor.”
The prokeimenon is read and the Apostle () and the Gospel () are read, the litany is pronounced and the prayer “Our Father” is sung. Those getting married drink wine from a common cup, and then the priest leads them around the lectern three times, at this time the choir sings the troparia “Isaiah rejoice...”, “Holy martyrs...”, “Glory to Thee, Christ God...”, after which the priest takes off the crowns and reads concluding priestly prayers and pronouncing dismissal.
In the Orthodox Church, weddings are permitted for those entering into a second marriage, but the rite of a second marriage is less solemn, with the reading of prayers of repentance.
In the Russian Orthodox Church in everything, on Easter week, on Christmastide, on the days before the twelve holidays and Sunday (i.e. on Saturday), as well as on the eve of Wednesday and Friday (i.e. on Tuesday and Thursday). Cm. .
A marriage cannot be concluded if at least one of the two persons wishing to marry has not reached marriageable age.
For the wedding it is necessary
- preliminary interview with a priest;
- a wedding pair of icons - the Savior and the Mother of God.
- wedding candles - sold in the Church Shop;
- towel (wedding towel) - plain: white (for laying under your feet). Long enough for two people to stand on;
- wedding rings. According to the Church Charter, rings must be made of different metals: the groom’s ring is gold, the bride’s ring is silver (it is advisable to observe this).
Wedding cost
All church Sacraments cannot have a cost, but are performed for a donation. Many temples indicate the recommended size.
Obstacles to marriage
- Before the wedding, the bride and groom must register their marriage at the registry office. Lawless cohabitation cannot be sanctified;
- The bride and groom cannot be: related by blood(up to the fourth degree of relationship, for example, with a second cousin); in spiritual kinship(if those wishing to marry are godparents of the same person or wish to marry a godson).
The bride and groom need
- confess on the eve of the wedding (preferably at the end of the evening service);
- come to the Temple on the wedding day at the beginning of the Divine Liturgy and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ;
- wear crosses.
Requirements for witnesses
- in pre-revolutionary Russia, a church marriage had legal force, so the wedding was necessarily performed with guarantors - popularly they were called groomsmen or best men, and in liturgical books - heirs; the guarantors confirmed with their signatures the wedding act in the registry; they, as a rule, knew the bride and groom well and vouched for them;
- currently, the presence of witnesses is not a mandatory, but desirable condition for the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage; this is a tradition, not a canon: their presence is determined by the desire of the bride and groom;
- the modern role of witnesses is to spiritually support those entering into marriage with prayer and advice based on the experience of their godly Christian marriage;
- it is advisable to find witnesses who Orthodox and God-loving, which means they are churched;
- Divorced spouses or people living in a “civil” (not registered in the registry office) marriage cannot become guarantors for a wedding. The first, not retaining the grace they received in the Sacrament of Wedding and setting a bad example for the newlyweds, cannot be faithful mentors for the family being created. The latter, living in Russia, cannot begin the Church Sacraments at all until they stop their ungodly relationship.
Some features of the bride's clothing
- the bride must have a headdress covering her head (veil or scarf);
- shoulders must be covered (cape, scarf, veil);
- The dress is white. If people who have already been married for some time are getting married, or are getting remarried, then the bride is no longer required to wear a white dress;
- cosmetics - in minimal quantities.
- because If you also have to attend the Liturgy on the wedding day, then in total, in terms of time, it will take several hours. To keep you comfortable, consider wearing comfortable shoes.
Age of those getting married
- the lower age limit for performing the Sacrament of Wedding should be considered the onset of civil majority, when it is possible to conclude a marriage in the registry office;
- Church marriage law also sets the highest limit for marriage: for women - 60 years, for men - 70 years. This rule does not apply to those already married.
does not sanctify the union between or with...
- Gentiles– representatives of non-Christian religions (for example, Muslims). A non-Christian cannot be baptized. Therefore he cannot participate in the Orthodox sacrament what a wedding is.
- unbaptized(and are not going to be baptized before the wedding);
- atheists;
- people who are members of blood And spiritual kinship;
- people who do not have the spiritual capacity for marriage– i.e. with people whose officially confirmed mental illness deprives them of the opportunity to freely and consciously express their will.
- In special cases, an exception may be made for religiously mixed marriages. Only the ruling bishop can give a blessing for this;
- Orthodox Christians, with permission, can marry heterodox(with Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, Armenian Gregorians) provided that their children are baptized and raised in Orthodoxy.
Marriage to a clergyman
- if your chosen one is a person who has decided to become a priest, then your marriage is possible only until the moment the ordination of your fiancé, i.e. before he takes holy orders;
- you cannot marry a monk or nun because of their vows to God.
Behavior in the Temple during the Sacrament of Marriage
- The Sacrament of Wedding is not just a ritual, it is a prayer; treat with attention and reverence the prayers that are pronounced by the priest: throughout the entire Sacrament, the Church prays for almost no one else, just for the bride and groom (and one prayer “for the parents who raised them);
- everyone present at the wedding, to the best of their ability (with prayers, their words and thoughts), should pray for those two who are getting married;
- If possible, refrain from unnecessary conversations.
Tradition of parental blessing
- the groom and his parents come to the house of the bride’s parents and ask them for their daughter’s hand in marriage;
- upon consent to marriage, parents on both sides bless the newlyweds for a family union: the groom with the icon of Christ the Savior, the girl with the icon of the Most Holy Theotokos;
- the young make the sign of the cross and kiss the holy images;
- handing over icons, parents say that the time of raising children is over for them and with faith and hope they entrust their children to the all-powerful intercession of the Lord and Mother of God;
- icons, after the Wedding, are placed in the red corner, in the house where the bride and groom will live;
- if one of the parents is not alive, then the survivor blesses;
Why do people get married on fasting days: Wednesday and Friday?
- The wedding is followed by the wedding night. If you get married on Tuesday or Thursday, then the wedding night falls during the one-day fasts of Wednesday and Friday, which is unacceptable.
- When getting married on Wednesday/Friday, the wedding night occurs during the period when the fasting period has ended (Wednesday evening and Friday evening).
Brief description of Engagement
- Betrothal (precedes the wedding) - seals the mutual promises of those entering into Marriage and marks the fact that Marriage takes place before the face of God, in His presence, according to His all-good Providence and discretion.
- For greater awareness that the betrothal is taking place in the face of God, the bride and groom appear before the holy doors of the temple, and the priest, symbolizing the Lord Jesus Christ, is in the altar.
- The priest leads the couple into the temple - from this moment the couple, in the face of God Himself, in his Temple, begins their new married life.
- The ritual begins with censing. The priest blesses the groom three times, who makes the sign of the cross each time, then the bride, saying: “In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit” and gives them lighted candles. Candles signify pure and fiery love, the chastity of the bride and groom and the abiding grace of God.
- Prayers are said praising the Lord; prayers for those getting married on behalf of all those present in the Temple. Then, at the command of the priest, all those present bow their heads before the Lord, expecting spiritual blessing from him. The priest secretly reads a prayer, after which he puts a ring on the groom, making the sign of the cross three times, and on the bride. After the blessing, the couple exchange rings three times in honor and glory of the Most Holy Trinity, which accomplishes and confirms everything.
- A prayer is said to the Lord that He Himself will bless and approve the Betrothal and send a Guardian Angel to the bride and groom in their new life.
Brief description of the wedding
- Following the priest with the censer, the bride and groom with lighted candles enter the middle of the temple. The choir greets them with singing, glorifying their God-blessed marriage.
- In front of the lectern (on which lie the cross, the Gospel and the crowns) a cloth (white or pink) is spread on the floor. Those getting married stand on it. The priest asks questions to the groom (then the bride) - whether they confirm a free and relaxed desire to get married and the absence in the past of each of them of a promise to a third party to marry him.
- The priest proclaims the participation of the couple in the Kingdom of God, then a short litany about mental and physical well-being is pronounced.
- This is followed by three prayers in which the priest asks the Lord to bless this marriage; to bless, preserve and remember the newlyweds and that the Lord would unite the newlyweds, marry them into a single whole and give them children.
- At the end of the prayers, the priest marks the groom with a crown, gives him to kiss the image of the Savior attached to the front of the crown and says: “The servant of God is getting married...”. The image of the Blessed Virgin Mary is attached to the bride's crown.
- The newlyweds, adorned with crowns, stand before the face of God, awaiting God's blessing. Exclamation: “Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor!” pronounced by the priest three times with a triple blessing of the bride and groom.
- If possible, guests silently help the priest, repeating: “Lord our God! Crown them with glory and honor!”
- Then the Epistle to the Ephesians is read, in which the marriage union is likened to the union of Christ and the Church: this is the self-sacrifice of Christ for sinful people and His followers, ready to give their lives for their faith and love for the Lord. They are trying to convey to those getting married the fear of saddening their loved one and disrupting the spiritual unity of the family. To lose love means to lose the presence of God in family life. Husband and wife are equal and obey the Lord Jesus Christ.
- The Gospel of John is read about God's blessing of the marital union and its sanctification.
- A prayer for the preservation of those getting married in peace and unanimity, so that the marriage is honest and they live to old age, fulfilling the commandments of God from a pure heart.
- After the proclamation: “And grant us, O Master, to dare to call upon You with boldness and without condemnation...” all those present at the Sacrament sing “Our Father.” As a sign of submission and devotion to the Lord, the bride and groom bow their heads under the crowns.
- The cup of communion (with red wine) is brought and the priest blesses it for mutual communion between husband and wife. They take three sips of the common wine, after which the priest connects the husband’s right hand with right hand wife, covers their hands with stole and places his hand on top of it, signifying that the husband receives a wife from the Church itself, uniting them in Christ forever.
- Signaling the marriage as an eternal procession hand in hand, the priest leads the newlyweds around the lectern three times with the singing of troparions: “Isaiah, rejoice...”, “Holy martyr” and “Glory to you, Christ God, praise of the apostles...”. At the end of the solemn procession, the priest removes the crowns from the spouses and addresses them with welcoming words.
- What follows is a prayer to the Lord for the reception of the newlyweds’ crowns undefiled and undefiled in the Kingdom of God. The second prayer (with the newlyweds bowing their heads) - these same petitions are sealed with the name of the Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing.
- The chaste kiss of the newlyweds is evidence of holy and pure love for each other.
- Now the newlyweds are led to the royal doors, where the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride kisses the image of the Mother of God; then they change places and are applied to the icons again. Here the priest gives them a cross to kiss and hands them two icons: the groom - the image of the Savior, the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.
Pseudo-church superstitions associated with weddings
- younger brothers/sisters cannot marry earlier than older ones;
- you cannot get married while pregnant;
- You cannot get married or get married on a leap year;
- a fallen ring or an extinguished wedding candle - portends all sorts of troubles, a difficult life in marriage or the early death of one of the spouses;
- the one of the couple who first steps onto the spread towel will dominate the family all his life;
- the one whose candle turns out to be shorter after the sacrament will die earlier;
- You can’t get married in May, “you’ll suffer for the rest of your life.”
How can you get debunked?
- The dissolution of a God-blessed Marriage is a great sin, therefore there is no such thing as "debunking" does not exist. It is impossible to bless sin; the Savior Himself commanded: What God has joined together, let no man put asunder ().
- If the first marriage actually broke up, then the innocent party may be given a blessing for the second marriage, and, as a last resort, for the third, but no more. A blessing can only be given by a diocesan priest, but not by a priest.
